dimexy247:
You arrested your brother-in-law?

Your husband is a foolish man indeed but....you shouldn't have involved his brother in that manner.

Sis, his actions may have been irrational but yours was even worse. Family matters for that matter. You should have at least exercise some patient and try to exhaust all options.

I wouldn't lie to you, if my wife arrested my brother, she's already left the family.

I don't see any salvaging here as I don't see him as someone who can change his mind. To me, seems he's found a new mistress already.

I will advice you don't sign the divorce papers and that's if you are ready to be alone because I suspect he won't rescind his decision but if not,

.....meet him in court

And as for your husband, he will soon meet his waterloo.

I arrested his brother out of frustration, when the brothers packed all stuff, they just send the nanny and my son outside. I borrowed clothes to back my baby. I was putting on a single cloth for like 3 days. I felt humiliated.

Realashbobby:


I have done like you said o, I took some days leave at work and pack my baby and my bag, I don't know his home address but I know his work address in VI, I went to his office and I called but he didn't pick,. Not until when one of his colleagues called him that his wife is here. He csaid he is not on duty that day and not around that I should go back to where I am coming from.
I didn't get back to ibadan until 11pm that day. Till today he never ask how I got home with the baby.

The man does not want the marriage anymore. Don't force it.

You have just one child. You can still remarry and live happily ever after

But why on earth will a man will want to be a barrier on his wife way to success, someone that is working and still footing her edu bill without disturbing you.

Impatience is what I notice here on the part of the man and probably his newly found status is getting to his head.

Op Just keep calm and focus on your job, education and baby. You surely be fine.

Shallom.

The man is from a bad family. Bad brother and bad father. If they are sure that they are right, the brother won't be sneaking to pack his brother's stuff. A good father in-law would not insist on you moving to Lagos there and then despite your job and program. They left you no choice but to arrest the brother. Don't let mad people tell you otherwise. The man and I brother had no regard for you and behaved like a thief. This man is not the type to go forever with. You would meet another man in your future that would treat you better than this. Don't cling to him because his family would fail you again

Realashbobby:


I have done like you said o, I took some days leave at work and pack my baby and my bag, I don't know his home address but I know his work address in VI, I went to his office and I called but he didn't pick,. Not until when one of his colleagues called him that his wife is here. He csaid he is not on duty that day and not around that I should go back to where I am coming from.
I didn't get back to ibadan until 11pm that day. Till today he never ask how I got home with the baby.

Aw shit!

Why are some men this callous? You mean he sent you back all the way from Lagos with a baby at that ungodly hour? Without even setting eyes on you? This is not ordinary. Some strange woman is involved that's why he couldn't bring himself to let you into his house.

You know what? Go on a three days midnight prayer. I'm serious. Command every strange woman out of his house and out of his life. Then comnand him to come back to his senses and come back to you. In the name of Jesus. Hes yours and he goes no where. call him back!


Holy Ghost fire!

Chai!

CalliDora1:
Hmm.. this your story is a pathetic one.

Why do men become monsters the moment they feel they have made it a little in life? Same guy that was ready to dwell with you in the hole when he had nothing. Now hes forming the boss.


We learnt it from you ungrateful bitches. Expect more

Well, like someone said, do not sign the papers ( that is if you're still interested in the marriage). Then apply for leave, go to Lagos and have a talk with him. Possibly settle whatever it is with him if he's willing though. Otherwise, let him be but still, don't ever sign the papers. Tie him down and if he tries to marry another, sue him.[/b]He's an ingrate and most men are. And that is why I'll never struggle with any idiot.

In the meantime, go on your knees and pray to God to take charge of the situation and touch him.

Shut up. Nothing will happen. Stop dreaming, this is Nigeria. The woman will lose big time.. take it to anywhere.

She might as well use that time to pray for success in her career.
As for the rest of her post, make I no talk.

CalliDora1:


Aw shit!

Why are some men this callous? You mean he sent you back all the way from Lagos with a baby at that ungodly hour? Without even setting eyes on you? This is not ordinary. Some strange woman is involved that's why he couldn't bring himself to let you into his house.

You know what? Go on a three days midnight prayer. I'm serious. Command every strange woman out of his house and out of his life. Then comnand him to come back to his senses and come back to you. In the name of Jesus. Hes yours and he goes no where. call him back!


Holy Ghost fire!

Chai!

Chiquitq:
The man is from a bad family. Bad brother and bad father. If they are sure that they are right, the brother won't be sneaking to pack his brother's stuff. A good father in-law would not insist on you moving to Lagos there and then despite your job and program. They left you no choice but to arrest the brother. Don't let mad people tell you otherwise. The man and I brother had no regard for you and behaved like a thief. This man is not the type to go forever with. You would meet another man in your future that would treat you better than this. Don't cling to him because his family would fail you again

Keep on dreaming. Men have wisen up.

Gloriagee:
She might as well use that time to pray for success in her career.
As for the rest of her post, make I no talk.

If she still wants the marriage, let her pray concerning it. Or you want her to start all over again? Not easy now.

Notatribalist:
Don't judge with one sided story..If the man has found a new mistress do you think he would insist the wife join him in Lagos?

i tire bros
Why will he be insisting on her moving to Lagos if he has another woman

It's all bout wat she wants n she said she still wants the guy na so make I no talk.

CalliDora1:


If she still wants the marriage, let her pray concerning it. Or you want her to start all over again? Not easy now.

There are 3 sides of story.
His side.. . Her side and d truth

U can't force a man to love u....


D guy knew u are stil schooling... I blv he will understand and allow u to finish d d degree if u have been diplomatic and courteous

Gloriagee:
It's all bout wat she wants n she said she still wants the guy na so make I no talk.

Ok.

Yeah, he could so the break up wont be on him. It's called reverse psychology. From her story, the husband was already incommunicado though she was sick n had a job she still had to meet up with. She was definitely damned if she did n damned if she didn't, unless theres more shes not saying.

Nemesis0147:
i tire bros
Why will he be insisting on her moving to Lagos if he has another woman

Realashbobby:


I arrested his brother out of frustration, when the brothers packed all stuff, they just send the nanny and my son outside. I borrowed clothes to back my baby. I was putting on a single cloth for like 3 days. I felt humiliated.

Face your education and career.
Acquire necessary skills in your field, and strive to be the best.
Stop chasing the shadows of your failed marriage and chase financial independence instead. Life is not for the faint hearted, so buckle up.
Your marriage is gone, and the earlier you face reality the better. Move on with your life, and face how to meet your financial obligations which will keep piling up.
When you're ready for a new relationship, it will come naturally. But make sure you're indeed ready mentally, financially.
Learn never to put the needs of others above yours

Realashbobby:


I have done like you said o, I took some days leave at work and pack my baby and my bag, I don't know his home address but I know his work address in VI, I went to his office and I called but he didn't pick,. Not until when one of his colleagues called him that his wife is here. He csaid he is not on duty that day and not around that I should go back to where I am coming from.
I didn't get back to ibadan until 11pm that day. Till today he never ask how I got home with the baby.

Realashbobby:


I arrested his brother out of frustration, when the brothers packed all stuff, they just send the nanny and my son outside. I borrowed clothes to back my baby. I was putting on a single cloth for like 3 days. I felt humiliated.

The only mistake is you should never have arrested the brother, that's all.

I get you were frustrated anyway, I believe there might be another woman sha that might be the only logical explanation for not at least seeing you guys the day you visited the office God will help you oo.

Don't sign the divorce papers, since you guys are properly married let your family discuss with his, apologize for the arrest but I am feeling he doesn't even want you anymore.

Realashbobby:

Court wedding
I am almost done
He is 17 months now
Yes
Yes.

I don't want a scattered home.

You should go and apologize to your husband and his family, then move to Lagos and repair the damages done to your relationship, when things are calm you can transfer from that school in ibadan to a school in Lagos. I wish you all the best going forward.

CalliDora1:


Aw shit!

Why are some men this callous? You mean he sent you back all the way from Lagos with a baby at that ungodly hour? Without even setting eyes on you? This is not ordinary. Some strange woman is involved that's why he couldn't bring himself to let you into his house.

You know what? Go on a three days midnight prayer. I'm serious. Command every strange woman out of his house and out of his life. Then comnand him to come back to his senses and come back to you. In the name of Jesus. Hes yours and he goes no where. call him back!


Holy Ghost fire!

Chai!

She is a muslim FYI.

Oksman:


She is a muslim FYI.

Okeydokey then.. She can do the one she believes in.

Madam, please get closer to God, this is a storm that God can help you with.
I won't advise you to sign those papers if you still want your husband.
Don't lose focus on your work. Don't resign o. And don't stop schooling. It's just a matter of time, you'll become a shining star.
Sending much love you and that cute baby.
I repeat, don't leave your job and school o.

Realashbobby:


I have done like you said o, I took some days leave at work and pack my baby and my bag, I don't know his home address but I know his work address in VI, I went to his office and I called but he didn't pick,. Not until when one of his colleagues called him that his wife is here. He csaid he is not on duty that day and not around that I should go back to where I am coming from.
I didn't get back to ibadan until 11pm that day. Till today he never ask how I got home with the baby.

I hope it's not that in the past, you rubbed it in his face with improper manner of approach on the moving to Lagos issue. Hope it's not that your manner of approach then made it seems your career is more important than the marriage? Can you be sincere with this that you approach the issue in a good manner and not nagging and all those careless talks?

Realashbobby:


I have done like you said o, I took some days leave at work and pack my baby and my bag, I don't know his home address but I know his work address in VI, I went to his office and I called but he didn't pick,. Not until when one of his colleagues called him that his wife is here. He csaid he is not on duty that day and not around that I should go back to where I am coming from.
I didn't get back to ibadan until 11pm that day. Till today he never ask how I got home with the baby.

I know how much you want this family to work, how much you want to keep your family together, but the truth is, your husband& in-laws are quite sexist and irrational people. If he can't be patient enough to let you defend your project and conclude your degree, then I'm sorry to tell you, that's not your husband. A true husband would support his wife's career to any length as progress for your wife is automatically progress for the whole family. And for him to be callous enough to not grant you audience with your baby, in a strange city, not bother about you& his child's welfare ? My sister, that divorce he's asking for, is your passport to freedom. You may choose not to sign it until you're done with your program, and attempt reconciliation again ( I see you still want the marriage). NB: don't quit your job or seek transfer yet, at best, you can change apartments if you can afford it. As for arresting his brother, you're quite justified, as a man that stole your things in your absence, leaving you with only the cloth on your back, is a criminal.

As a sister, I will advise you to channel all your energy into that degree, getting a better job, and caring for your child and sister. A man that is against your progress, is against your success o.

Ghengiskhan:


You should go and apologize to your husband and his family, then move to Lagos and repair the damages done to your relationship, when things are calm you can transfer from that school in ibadan to a school in Lagos. I wish you all the best going forward.

Transfer school when she is almost defending?

1 million likes

Orlaoluwayimika:
I wouldn't over board u on where u crossed the line.

Going with ur own narrative alone. I think ur husband loves u that was why he requested u move to Lagos with him.

Believe me if there was any lady anywhere, he wld nva make dt move of u coming to Lagos at all. He would prefer u stay in IB while he stays in Lagos to do his' promiscuous act.
In fact he would discourage u from having such notions.

What u shld ve done was to find a way to get trfd to Lagos and I bliv ur degree program in UI is DLI and I feel u can always go back to IB during exam time to catch up with the exam.

The deed has been done already now look for a way apologise to him and his broda and u must be apologetic.
Let him know u understand the way he feels about having u I Lagos and I expect u to make frantic effort to move to Lagos by now by getting trf from ur branch to Lagos. I know it ain't easy tho. but u ve to.

Except u re also tired of the relationship then u can let go but if u ain't, my own advice is u move to Lagos but pls do not resign from ur work in case of any F up.

Trust me like I said earlier ur husband loves u

Please, apologies to your inlaws, find a possible means to resolve the issue.

If the man persist, consider him 'dead' and move on with your life.


Nobody deserve a bad home. Your children deserve a sane father.


Btw, what's the foundation of your relationship
You both should have discussed this (education, career, state of residence, finances and children) while courting. It shouldn't be all about sex alone.

LOL... All these people telling her not to sign the divorce papers, is it by force to remain married to a man who doesn't want to remain married?

Quite funny...

What you should be focusing on now OP is how to move on with your life, not hanging on to the possibility that a man who doesn't want you anymore will miraculously change his mind and want you again.

If he has found another woman then he won't be pushing for his family to relocate to Lagos.

Even though ur hubby was wrong with his actions, you went too far to arrest his brother.

Go back to ur husband's family, kneel down and apologized. Ask ur hubby to forgive you and get ur stuff ready to move to Lagos cuz I believe you will do better in Lagos than ibadan.

The lord is ur strength

longetivity:
Your husband is an ingrate, he has found another woman outside, don't worry it will end in tears for him

Jossyfine:
If he has found another woman then he won't be pushing for his family to relocate to Lagos.

Even though ur hubby was wrong with his actions, you went too far to arrest his brother.

Go back to ur husband's family, kneel down and apologized. Ask ur hubby to forgive you and get ur stuff ready to move to Lagos cuz I believe you will do better in Lagos than ibadan.

The lord is ur strength

What of schooling, where she is close to defending her project?

I salute your doggedness and strength in all these. Some women would have quit their jobs and school to go and live with their husbands and their lives becomes meaningless afterwards. They become.reduced to doormats by their husbands, their self esteem and self worth eroded as a result of the abuse they face afterwards. Trust me, your future self will kneel down and thank you for not quitting your schooling despite pressure from your husband and his people to go and join him in Lagos and be at his mercy. Don't sign any divorce papers, don't acknowledge it. There's probably another woman there eagerly waiting for the divorce to be final. Frustrate their efforts very well. If they go ahead and get married, go and report him and have him arrested for bigamy. He has to pay one way or the other for putting you and your son through stress and risk the day you went to his office

Is he REALLY pushing for the wife to relocate to lagos? then why didn't he acknowledge her when she came visiting?
Please marriage should be built on love and love , at the barest minimum is kind. This man has not been kind to her at all.. throwing her and her child out of the house? rejecting someone that came all the way from Ibadan to Lagos to see you?
@realashbobby, In fact, the best kindness he has shown you is divorce. He could have kept torturing you but chose to cut off. Now is the time to love yourself, help yourself.. pick up your life baby girl, its not the end of the world. Stand on your feet emotionally and financially. The irony with men is the less you need them, the more they want you. last last, you will smile..