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Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. - Romance - Nairaland

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Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by ettaetta(m): 7:21pm On Dec 05, 2020
Copied from Relationship matters in Africa facebook group.


PLS HELP MY GIRLFRIEND IS GOING THROUGH SERIOUS DEPRESSION
I am a guy of 29, I met this caring and loving girlfriend earlier this year, she is 23 we have been cool together, everything was going on smoothly, and I know very well that she loves me so much.
Everything about her suddenly changed after she lost her dad, it's been few months now and she is still not her real self.

She is always depressed most times she tells me she feels like commiting sucide that she is tired of life. I do my best to make her happy daily but it doesn't really work, she seem to loose interest in everything.

Sometimes when I call her she doesn't pick and wont call back, and this is someone that could not stay a day without hearing from me. Atimes I see her online chat her up but she doesn't reply like before.

At a point I started to suspect maybe she has lost interest in me or now seeing someone else, so I decided to limit calling her or chatting her up, but she will still complain that I don't care about her, that I don't check up on her, but most times when I do she ignores me.

She now picks offence with almost everything I do, compares me with her ex that he is more caring, most times all the past disagreement we had and settled, she now brings it up and stills attacks me with It, I'm really confused.

After taking time to monitor her I know she is not cheating on me, but she is not just happy, I try my best to put a smile on her face yet it doesn't work, pls advise me, I don't want to loose her, the Way she is going she might just commit sucide, pls how can I handle this?
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by ozome15(m): 7:31pm On Dec 05, 2020
Please my brother always do your best to keep an eye on her. It's not always easy to come out from losing love one.
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Nazgul: 7:38pm On Dec 05, 2020
She won't kill herself. She clearly wants some time to be alone...give it to her, stop bugging her. Send her encouraging messages once in a while and you can even buy her things you know she likes if you can afford it.

With time she'll get over it. If you keep pestering her like this she'll begin to develop hatred for you
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by khingTony(m): 7:51pm On Dec 05, 2020
Maybe She's tired of you and wants to break up with you subtly
Maybe she's broke and need you to start paying her monthly salary
Maybe she's craving for an adventure and you are not the one to give it to her


....Just maybe


Give her space, if she doesn't come looking for you, then you just found your answer


Peace smiley

1 Like

Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by konfusedgee(m): 7:58pm On Dec 05, 2020
Give that girl some space,, when she's done she'll come looking for you

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Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by 2dice01: 8:06pm On Dec 05, 2020
cheesy
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by 2dice01: 8:08pm On Dec 05, 2020
ozome15:
Please my brother always do your best to keep an eye on her. It's not always easy to come out from losing love one.
How many eyes the bros get

Just advice him to kill himself she go still tell am for him grave say him no die well cheesy

Same girl that won't miss a call/text from some other dude
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by ettaetta(m): 8:11pm On Dec 05, 2020
konfusedgee:
Give that girl some space,, when she's done she'll come looking for you
if I give her space she will still come to complain, I am not caring....
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Opexzy: 8:13pm On Dec 05, 2020
This is not gonna be an easy phase in her life and your relationship as a whole, if you are willing to help her get through this.

First thing you need to understand is that, time heals up every wounds. How long it will take is what i don't know, but you need to also ask yourself how far you are willing to go.

She is always depressed most times she tells me she feels like commiting sucide that she is tired of life. I do my best to make her happy daily but it doesn't really work, she seem to loose interest in everything.
Is her father the only hope of her survival in life?
Does she have a mother or even siblings?
What is her family background like?
Why would suicide cross her mind because she lost her father?

Sometimes when I call her she doesn't pick and wont call back, and this is someone that could not stay a day without hearing from me. Atimes I see her online chat her up but she doesn't reply like before.
Sincerely I don't know what could have caused this, but people going through phases related to this find it easier to put blames on people closest to them, they tends to loose interest in things that makes them happy before because their brain tricks them to believe source of happiness is far beyond what they see around them and they start searching for the impossible.

I will advise you to be patient with her and try not to give up, you might eventually get her back.

At a point I started to suspect maybe she has lost interest in me or now seeing someone else, so I decided to limit calling her or chatting her up, but she will still complain that I don't care about her, that I don't check up on her, but most times when I do she ignores me.
Not too far from the previous explanation, she's experimenting and doesn't know what she actually wants. It's a good sign that she still cares about your attention "Sometimes".

She now picks offence with almost everything I do, compares me with her ex that he is more caring, most times all the past disagreement we had and settled, she now brings it up and stills attacks me with It, I'm really confused.
Pardon her, she's not emotionally stable.. Mood swings are normal. Sorry she compared you with her exes I can only imagine how bruised your ego as a man is right now, but she is still not stable.. She is currently trying to draw up good memories from the past to at least complement the present, its a normal thing, she's searching for hope. Her exes are part of that including you too. But it's easier to compare good memories from an ex with whatever bad she thinks you are doing now, it's way way easier. It's just a minor fault in humans.

So if you LOVE her just as you are claiming, you need to recreate a lot of good moments than the ugly ones for the time being.

After taking time to monitor her I know she is not cheating on me, but she is not just happy, I try my best to put a smile on her face yet it doesn't work, pls advise me, I don't want to loose her, the Way she is going she might just commit sucide, pls how can I handle this?

It's a good thing you know your woman is not cheating on you. Not all guys are privileged with such monitoring spirit.

My advice still remains the same.. If she's such a good girl and she's worth it, give her time she will snap out of it and be fine again... If you have the money book an appointment with a psychologist, that might help.. Let her see that you are trying your best to make things work out.

1 Like

Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Cutehector(m): 8:14pm On Dec 05, 2020
ettaetta:

if I give her space she will still come to complain, I am not caring....
go and cuddle her.
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Agboki: 8:16pm On Dec 05, 2020
�����Grls no go make us craze
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Whitecoal711: 8:24pm On Dec 05, 2020
See as this one carry woman for head

No carry this nonsense enter 2022 oono go hussle, dey carry woman matter for head because na him you come world come do
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by ojun50(m): 8:24pm On Dec 05, 2020
Agboki:
�����Grls no go make us craze

Na man wey decide to craze on top girl matter go craze oh....

1 Like

Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by ezechi24(m): 8:28pm On Dec 05, 2020
when was the last time u bleeped the hell out of her?....she needs very good weeping both front ,back and sideways ...hurry before bad guys go knock the code .
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by ettaetta(m): 9:05pm On Dec 05, 2020
Whitecoal711:
See as this one carry woman for head

No carry this nonsense enter 2022 oono go hussle, dey carry woman matter for head because na him you come world come do
lol are u already entering 2022 from 2020 or which year are you sef?
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Nobody: 9:16pm On Dec 05, 2020
LOL
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by MacWin155(m): 9:19pm On Dec 05, 2020
Avoid the unhappy and the unlucky my brother. Depression is contagious.
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by oba68351: 6:11am On Dec 06, 2020
:Give that girl some space,, when she's done she'll come looking for youif I give her space she will still come to complain, I am not caring....
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Nobody: 6:33am On Dec 06, 2020
ettaetta:

Everything about her suddenly changed after she lost her dad, it's been few months now and she is still not her real self.

She is always depressed most times she tells me she feels like commiting sucide that she is tired of life. I do my best to make her happy daily but it doesn't really work, she seem to loose interest in everything.
she's grieving. do not break up with her; she needs you more than ever at this time. encourage her, cheer her up and be patient with her.
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Topsytopy: 9:42am On Dec 06, 2020
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Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by solalal36(m): 10:57am On Dec 06, 2020
Bro, I know exactly what you are going through... Recently, my girlfriend lost her only surviving parent. Her Dad died when she was only 4. Her only sister followed suit. Man, she was so depressed.. She kept crying and crying.. Imagine, someone walking on the street and will just start crying... wake up in the midnight to cry... The cries stopped o.. I thought things were getting better... Then the depression was setting in.. If I leave alone, she will just keep staring, her body is there but the mind has gone farrr. You have to tap her hard before you can get her attention.
My point is depression is a really terrible thing especially after you lose a loved one. Keep talking to her preferably physically.. No matter how irrelevant, just say anything to take her mind away from thinking... Take her on a walk.. Go to viewing center.. sha don't let her be alone...
You will see the way she will always cherish you after she crosses this stage.. Shey the girl is a good person sha...

In my own case, meeting my gf was the best thing that happened to me that year.. we had to separate cause of distance, diff tribe and religion...
Till date, she still chat and call me almost everyday like we are in a relationship...
So OP, the ball is in your court

1 Like

Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Nobody: 11:00am On Dec 06, 2020
The cure to her depression is money!!!
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Dreyton36: 11:21am On Dec 06, 2020
What's this one saying sef

Yen yen yen undecided

Did you wire her account with N1million and she remains unhappy?

Alaye go and wire her account, caring and calls no they make woman smile, na only money fit do am, automatically she go turn celestina

Lights up my kpoli in peace
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Nobody: 6:48pm On Dec 06, 2020
ettaetta:
PLS HELP MY GIRLFRIEND IS GOING THROUGH SERIOUS DEPRESSION
I am a guy of 29, I met this caring and loving girlfriend earlier this year, she is 23 we have been cool together, everything was going on smoothly, and I know very well that she loves me so much.
Everything about her suddenly changed after she lost her dad, it's been few months now and she is still not her real self.

She is always depressed most times she tells me she feels like commiting sucide that she is tired of life. I do my best to make her happy daily but it doesn't really work, she seem to loose interest in everything.

Sometimes when I call her she doesn't pick and wont call back, and this is someone that could not stay a day without hearing from me. Atimes I see her online chat her up but she doesn't reply like before.

At a point I started to suspect maybe she has lost interest in me or now seeing someone else, so I decided to limit calling her or chatting her up, but she will still complain that I don't care about her, that I don't check up on her, but most times when I do she ignores me.

She now picks offence with almost everything I do, compares me with her ex that he is more caring, most times all the past disagreement we had and settled, she now brings it up and stills attacks me with It, I'm really confused.

After taking time to monitor her I know she is not cheating on me, but she is not just happy, I try my best to put a smile on her face yet it doesn't work, pls advise me, I don't want to loose her, the Way she is going she might just commit sucide, pls how can I handle this?
Op, Just Cheer Her Up. She Needs Ur Time & Words Of Encourage. Take Her Out.
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Nobody: 7:25pm On Dec 06, 2020
khingTony:
Maybe She's tired of you and wants to break up with you subtly
Maybe she's broke and need you to start paying her monthly salary
Maybe she's craving for an adventure and you are not the one to give it to her


....Just maybe


Give her space, if she doesn't come looking for you, then you just found your answer


Peace smiley

Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Twoclans(f): 7:46pm On Dec 06, 2020
It is always harder for a girl child to get over the passing of a father.I am a living example.Mine was even worse because I was standing right beside his bed when he passed on.

I can tell you from experience that she is going through alot,I went through something similar when my father died.Its been 9 good years I have still not gotten over it.

I don't envy you because she will drain you emotionally,try the best you can to make her happy.The bigger job of getting herself out of the moodiness and subtle depression lies with her.I wish her the best.

@OP kindly ignore those telling you maybe she wants you to pay her monthly etc.It is not always about money.When my dad passed I had money in millions in various accounts but they meant absolutely nothing because the void was real.

1 Like

Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by ettaetta(m): 8:08pm On Dec 06, 2020
realokopi:
The cure to her depression is money!!!
hmmmmm
Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by pocohantas(f): 8:28pm On Dec 06, 2020
Twoclans:
It is always harder for a girl child to get over the passing of a father.I am a living example.Mine was even worse because I was standing right beside his bed when he passed on.

I can tell you from experience that she is going through alot,I went through something similar when my father died.Its been 9 good years I have still not gotten over it.

I don't envy you because she will drain you emotionally,try the best you can to make her happy.The bigger job of getting herself out of the moodiness and subtle depression lies with her.I wish her the best.

@OP kindly ignore those telling you maybe she wants you to pay her monthly etc.It is not always about money.When my dad passed I had money in millions in various accounts but they meant absolutely nothing because the void was real.

You no lie. My dad underwent a surgery this year and damn, I had my heart in my mouth. I don’t know what I would have done if he died. I am not an undergraduate that still needs him to pay my fees, but it would have hit me badly.

While he was in the hospital, I was highly irritable. I remember lashing out at a friend and he was like “seems you are not in a good mood this period”. That was when I told him the situation. Never told him or many people before then (even after), I didn’t want anyone to say I also need urgent 2k.

Fathers are a daughter’s first love. The only man that will do giveaway for you without expecting anything in return. The only man that can genuinely wish for you to be greater than him.

Guys that ask you “Am I your father?” are not being so rude, they know it is only your father that would willingly make such sacrifice for you.

May your dad’s soul continue to rest in peace, Twoclàns. I am beginning to make peace with the fact that my dad is getting older and would go someday... smiley

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Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by Twoclans(f): 8:32pm On Dec 06, 2020
pocohantas:


You no lie. My dad underwent a surgery this year and damn, I had my heart in my mouth. I don’t know what I would have done if he died. I am not an undergraduate that still needs him to pay my fees, but it would have hit me badly.

While he was in the hospital, I was highly irritable. I remember lashing out at a friend and he was like “seems you are not in a good mood this period”. That was when I told him the situation. Never told him or many people before then (even after), I didn’t want anyone to say I also need urgent 2k.

Fathers are a daughter’s first love. The only man that will do giveaway for you without expecting anything in return. The only man that can genuinely wish for you to be greater than him.

Guys that ask you “Am I your father?” are not being so rude, they know it is only your father that would willingly make such sacrifice for you.

May your dad’s soul continue to rest in peace, Twoclàns. I am beginning to make peace with the fact that my dad is getting older and would go someday... smiley


@ Bold .......... Amen

I hope your dad is fully recovered now. Enjoy him everyday because I can confidently tell you that no man can ever love you the way he does .

1 Like

Re: Pls Help My Girlfriend Is Going Through Serious Depression. by pocohantas(f): 8:35pm On Dec 06, 2020
Twoclans:



@ Bold .......... Amen

I hope your dad is fully recovered now. Enjoy him everyday because I can confidently tell you that no man can ever love you the way he does .

Yes he is. You know these old people are stubborn? So we are just following him up to ensure he obeys all instructions.

I know right nne. cheesy cheesy

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