Tell him you love him and wants to be with him till the end of time. Then keep your distance from him let him decide within himself. If he chooses you he would come. Life and love are risks, take it! Gayatri:
I do not know how to start this but i will write as it comes... I was in a 2 year relationship that ended in march this year.. I was so commited in it like naturally when im dating, i DO NOT notice other guys and i DO NOT ask my boyfriend for financial assistance because i feel im not his responsibility,, what i do appreciate mostly were little things like, chatting, kindness, hugs, opening and closing of doors for me,, just little things, coz i adore them so much.. But anyway it ended.. And i vowed never to date again come what may.. During the break up process, all my friends (guys, hardly have a girlfriend) were there to help me pull through.. Calls and texts constantly because, according to them, they knew my type, thus the help.. Funny enough, i never got attracted to any of them (even the ones that initially asked me out when my friendship with them was fresh) and im not the sex sex type to just fall for any to satisfy my desire.. Though i got advice from neighbours to find someone else than staying alone, i said no especially as i am a loner but a happy loner.. I keep myself busy with work or any stuff that makes me happy.
Fine, two months later (june), some guy reached out to me even as he knew he's got a girlfriend, whixh according to him later, they were in an open relationship.. He stays in oshogbo, his girl stays in kaduna while im in sagamu..Before then, he reached out online by first stalking me on facebook (even though we did same online business), after a while he got talking with me.. At first, i was harsh, very harsh to him but he never minded.. At a point i stopped talking to him.. A month later he reached out again, asking if we were still friends.. I was like yeah, not nice to him at all but he was patient with me..
From mid-july we started talking well as friends, he was very open as i was to him. We flowed well that things were happening to us coincidentally.. Whenever he yawns, i do at my place, if im having a scratch, he does too.. There was just plenty of this connection that we never got tired of each other.. In the procesa of our been honest, he told me about his girl and how she was still keeping her ex and all whatnots... I didnt feel any iota of jealousy because i had not feelings for him yet.. I asked to talk things through with his girl and he says well if she gave the chance.. So laters, by august, september,october, feelings grew.. He got so fond of me... According to him, he has not seen my type before.. Fine! During my birthday, he wanted to do something for me, i said no, then two weeks to his birthday in nov, he asked that i visit him at their family house, that i did..
What struck me most was how the elder brother (married) took care of me... I was not allowed to do nothing.. The brother even cooked for me.. God, it made me fall more for the family.. The kind gestures i have never experienced in my life.. There are kindnesses but there is kindness, the real one.. I felt it.. Every thing that i want in a man, those little things, this guy has them all.. According to him, it baffles him that with the little he shows me, i do not take for granted even before he told me he's having a girl..
When i returned home, we continued our normal talks and he then said, that his girlfriend would be visiting during his birthday.. At that point i went silent.. (Meanwhile he met his girl this year but before me, also during her break up).. He was unhappy that i displayed this little jealousy.. So he says he has not broken up with his girl to start a new relationship and he is hurting that he is hurting me.. He's got feelings for me but he loves his girl.. So i said i was going walk, even though i never meant it, twas hard to even say that but i had to and he says no... That he's become so attached to me even his family thinks he's dating me.. That he controls his feelings for me, could i do same and i said no.. I could not be friends with him when i know that feelings are involved.. Finally, we came to terms to just flow with things since he was not engaged or married to her.. Even so, this guy just lost his job and he says unlike his girl, im the one pushing him to have something doing, he says i help him alot but i wouldnt know.. So we continued to let the whole feelings to flow until last week, when with my help, he was called for an interview in lagos..
As usual we talked and i wished him well.. I always pray for him.. In lagos, we talked well until the third day, our communication changed and before it did, my heart was literally aching, so i knew something was wrong.. I called to know why but he was telling me that he'd let me in when he got back to oshogbo, which he did.. He said his girlfriend who was having something to do with her ex, called him and wanted to settle things with him.. But the truth is, because this lady already had his facebook password when they were together in kadauna, she 3 days before her birthday on the 8th of this month wanted to know why her boyfriend was no longer perturbed over her behaviour, so she saw my chats with the guy and decided to do something,,, this now pushed to talk things out with the bf and apologise to him.. Then she asked him if anything was going on between is and he said no.. That we just friends,close friends.. He lied to her but opens up to me.. He says he doesnt want the girl to ask him to cut me off totally.. So the whole thing got him confused.. He says he's never double dated and he isnt happy that he's hurting me and im taking it... I asked him again if i should walk and he says no.. He does not want to lose me and i do not want to lose him either but i want to prove my love for him so that he one day sees that the girl, probably loves him but she's got no integrity.. And i purely love him.. But because i respect his relationship, i CAN NOT TELL HIM TO BREAK UP WITH HER but wanting him to see things himself but the question is for how long.. He says they are working things out now but he doesnt want to lose me esp as a friend... Difficult.. Out of God knows what, we agreed to let things flow since i will respect his relationship, like whenever his girl is around, i should make him believe that i will be fine.. Now, he isnt happy because he said if he hadnt met the gf, he'd have gone ahead to date me.. For me, i cannot sleep, ive been typing this since God knows when and this is 3:36am.. Since he is confused now, please people, friends, family, can i use love to make him see the difference between his girl and me.. He loves his girl, he is controlling his feelings for me and afraid to let it grow because he knows we'd bond, while my feelings toward him is real.. Money has not been involved in this.. We are 6months now.. I believe in true love and that it does not come easy.. Talk to me Y'll because i have no parents to talk to,, i would have talked to my mum now but she isnt here... I want to win with true love.. I turned 27 this past november and he turned 30 same november.. Thank You and God bless.. |
