MARRIAGE CAPSULES

CHANGE TO SUIT YOUR SPOUSE (PART 1)


Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of your own eye: and then shall you see clearly to cast out the mote from your brother’s eye.
Matthew 7:5

Marriage shows the relationship between Christ and the church. It shows how Christ loved the church and laid down His life for her. Who’s the church? Unbelievers are not part of the church. God wants His children to marry Christians or at times, He allows unbelievers to come together with the ultimate goal to arrest them and bring them into the fold. Through marriage, God trains couples to maturity as they learn to adapt to the realities of togetherness.

It can be funny and almost impossible for you to retrain your spouse. Retraining your husband or wife is not a bad thing but can negatively impact the marriage. You have to understand that you can’t change someone’s beliefs or attitudes without their willing consent, that is, without their co-operation. Emeka got married to Rose. To these newly weds, their marriage is made in heaven but no sonner had they started living together than Emeka discovered that Rose is rude. She would have the right idea to communicate but would prefer to say it in a derogatory or insulting manner. One day as she tried to correct Emeka to always look neat, she said ‘even pigs bathe at times’.

Here, the man had options. He could try to coerce her into order, talk to her to change or teach her by example. He may decide to take some harsh steps even if it means the relationship would go south. The truth is shouting, bullying, complaining, nagging, ranting, protest and so on may not save the situation. Rose is only suffering from a personal weakness and we all have one. It will take a lot of effort to bring her to change into the virtuous woman she is ordained to be. BEING ORDAINED A VIRTUOUS WOMAN, YOU HAVE TO LIVE THE VIRTUES.

The best option should be to teach her how to talk by talking right. Yes, it is never easy because you will have to deal with erasing the derogatory comments from your head and mind. You just have to eschew pride and be patient while trying to live by example in your home. WHEN YOU LEAD THE WAY, YOU SHOW THE WAY. You just have to be the person you want your spouse to be. Always give your spouse what you want to receive from him or her. Talk nicely and he or she will follow suit. Be truthful or faithful and you will reap faithfulness from your spouse. Be clean and your spouse will be clean. Be romantic and your spouse will be romantic. I have personally discovered that YOU CAN’T CHANGE YOUR SPOUSE TO SUIT YOU BUT YOU CAN CHANGE YOURSELF TO SUIT YOUR SPOUSE and heavenly blessings will follow as reward.

Pray: Dear Holy Spirit, help me to be a perfect example to my spouse so as to enjoy peace and progress in my home in the Name of Jesus Christ, Amen.