deleSayo:
I'm sure many of you have seen the previous threads about my turbulent marriage. Truth is I feel less shame discussing my marriage here as I'm anonymous.. so insults are welcome as no one here knows me personally..

So, my wife and I have had issues from the very beginning, from the lack of relationship between her and my family members, to her growing cold towards me, to me distancing myself from her etc..

Truth be told my marriage as reached breaking point on numerous occasions but this is the height of my pain as I sit here typing on Nairaland whilst others are busy celebrating the new year with their families.

My wife wished me a happy new year by informing me for the hundredth time that she has fallen out of love with me and is tired of our sexless marriage - only this time she also informs me that she recently reconnected with an old flame from uni (who happens to be from Ghana). They had always had a thing which never materialised as she refused to date him due to cultural differences (she couldnt marry someone that isn't Nigerian).

I recall her telling me shortly after our engagement that this particular 'friend ' cut off contact with her out of anger & frustration when she told him she has decided to marry me.

Now recently, this guy is back again in the picture and they've been talking. When I questioned her further, she admitted to my face that she is sexually attracted to him and the only thing stopping her from cheating is the fear of God.

I have every reason to end this marriage but things are so complicated. We have this strange connection I can't explain despite our marriage and sex life being in tatters - she's got such a magnetic character, kind, and wears her heart on her sleeve. If she has slept with that guy I would know for sure (that's how open she is). I actually grabbed her phone during the altercation this morning - read all her chats ..with him saying all the nasty things he would do to her, how he doesn't give a fucck about the dude she's married to (me) because he knew her before me, how he doesn't want to disrupt her home but wants to be there for her sexually and emotionally, he's accepted his fate bla bla.

I'm at my breaking point right now..

mariahAngel:
Wahala wear kente!

deleSayo:
I'm sure many of you have seen the previous threads about my turbulent marriage. Truth is I feel less shame discussing my marriage here as I'm anonymous.. so insults are welcome as no one here knows me personally..

So, my wife and I have had issues from the very beginning, from the lack of relationship between her and my family members, to her growing cold towards me, to me distancing myself from her etc..

Truth be told my marriage as reached breaking point on numerous occasions but this is the height of my pain as I sit here typing on Nairaland whilst others are busy celebrating the new year with their families.

My wife wished me a happy new year by informing me for the hundredth time that she has fallen out of love with me and is tired of our sexless marriage - only this time she also informs me that she recently reconnected with an old flame from uni (who happens to be from Ghana). They had always had a thing which never materialised as she refused to date him due to cultural differences (she couldnt marry someone that isn't Nigerian).

I recall her telling me shortly after our engagement that this particular 'friend ' cut off contact with her out of anger & frustration when she told him she has decided to marry me.

Now recently, this guy is back again in the picture and they've been talking. When I questioned her further, she admitted to my face that she is sexually attracted to him and the only thing stopping her from cheating is the fear of God.

I have every reason to end this marriage but things are so complicated. We have this strange connection I can't explain despite our marriage and sex life being in tatters - she's got such a magnetic character, kind, and wears her heart on her sleeve. If she has slept with that guy I would know for sure (that's how open she is). I actually grabbed her phone during the altercation this morning - read all her chats ..with him saying all the nasty things he would do to her, how he doesn't give a fucck about the dude she's married to (me) because he knew her before me, how he doesn't want to disrupt her home but wants to be there for her sexually and emotionally, he's accepted his fate bla bla.

I'm at my breaking point right now..

Hintona:
I heard Ghanaian men treat their women well.

Just wish her happy married life.

cococandy:
The time you spend trolling ladies on NL could have been better spent loving on and defending your wife.

Wish you both good luck. Sincerely.

Liposure:
with gele

JustMichael:
I took my time to go through your previous posts, scrutinising them thoroughly and I arrived with these facts:

1) Your family hates your wife and disrespects her for no reason but you took no due action towards this even though you claimed to cherish her

2) She complained to you many times about your ineptitude and your unhygienic lifestyle but you likewise acted deaf to her voice

3) She also tried to bring your attention to your recent appalling look but you didn't bother

4) Your sex life reduced drastically perhaps due to fact 2

5) She endured all this from 2017 and now it's 2021

6) In your own words "she is a good woman"

With all this, I've every reason to say YOU'RE AT FAULT. Swallow your pride and patch things up with her or face whatever comes up

deleSayo:


Despite the insults and backlash I received from my last thread, I listened to all critics and improved my personal hygiene.
although, if I'm to be fair, losing the weight has been difficult. I've made a lot of changes that I expected her to appreciate. but she pays me back by flirting with an old fling?

deleSayo:


Despite the insults and backlash I received from my last thread, I listened to all critics and improved my personal hygiene.
although, if I'm to be fair, losing the weight has been difficult. I've made a lot of changes that I expected her to appreciate. but she pays me back by flirting with an old fling?

deleSayo:


Trolled which ladies?

There is only one "lady" I have a problem with and that's because she childishly ridiculed my previous thread and tried to mock me for what I was (and still am ) going through in my marriage.

She's a mean-spirited bully and a well known troll on this forum - and from the looks of things, I'm not the only one who has insulted her on NL.

i'm here seeking advice and trying to be as transparent as I can - it's taken a lot of courage for me to put my business out here like this. warn your friend to act with sense and maybe she wouldn't get as much insults as she gets on this platform.

JustMichael:
I took my time to go through your previous posts, scrutinising them thoroughly and I arrived with these facts:

1) Your family hates your wife and disrespects her for no reason but you took no due action towards this even though you claimed to cherish her

2) She complained to you many times about your ineptitude and your unhygienic lifestyle but you likewise acted deaf to her voice

3) She also tried to bring your attention to your recent appalling look but you didn't bother

4) Your sex life reduced drastically perhaps due to fact 2

5) She endured all this from 2017 and now it's 2021

6) In your own words "she is a good woman"

With all this, I've every reason to say YOU'RE AT FAULT. Swallow your pride and patch things up with her or face whatever comes up

cococandy:
Am I my friend too? What’s your excuse for mine? And quite viciously too. As if I was the one that caused you problems.

Anyway all that trolling makes it hard to know what’s true and what’s not. But I chose to believe you.

As for advice I’d suggest counseling at this point. It has to take a respected third party to get both of you back to where you used to be.

Even if you’ve tried it before, give it another try. You say you guys share a bond and she’s very open. that means meaningful communication and resolution can still happen.

Worst case scenario is that nothing works and you guys have to part ways. You both can still have beautiful lives apart from each other. It will just be hard at first.


.

Burstscam:
Oga, you'll soon slide into acute depression. I think the most practical thing to do now is to separate temporarily. Both of you should stay apart till you start missing each other. See finish has crept in. But mind you, the outcome might be disastrous. She may end up cheating. Thereafter she may regret it and truly wants to make up with you. If that happens, you may enjoy a very long happy marriage afterwards. Or she may, after cheating, decides to move on.

Shits happen. I'm a realist so I give practical advice. But don't take my advice if you're fainthearted

cococandy:
The time you spend trolling ladies on NL could have been better spent loving on and defending your wife.

Wish you both good luck. Sincerely.