| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by vickydevoka(m): 1:34am On Jan 13, 2021 |
DICKstractor:
The battle is between INSECURITY and INDEPENDENCY
Nature is trying to tell you that you guys ain't compatible. You should read the handwriting on the wall. Move on. It's better to cry now than cry later when you get trapped in that thing called MARRIAGE
Exactly. If I'm a lady if I happen to be rich I won't let de guy feel less.
N if u put people to test , humans must fail, especially ladies. All my galfriends even one no pass de test, n we move
Someone once said "wahala dey like DANGOTE towel, e no dey cover nyash finish"
Shea you get the point now... |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by vickydevoka(m): 1:39am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Chii59:
You're on a much higher frequency than that dude. He can't handle you. Find your mate. Abeg I no like dis advice, na so my Aunty end up single. All dis Money way de give us ego we go leave Waka |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by vickydevoka(m): 1:40am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Sixfeetbelle:
I've said this thing here before. Most guys love women 'crawling' to them for financial assistance. They love the feeling they get when they give you money they know won't even be useful to you and and expect you to be beyond grateful. And the minute you don't act as expected, they see it as a sign of rebellion. Men will always say they want independent women as wives but where have they seen an independent woman that is entirely dependent on a man. Like how is that even possible? Na b4. No be now, go Abuja go see women doing things 1 Like |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by ThatCEO: 1:40am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Habby222:
Advice needed pls.
Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice. If that guy is close to 30 n hasn't proposed after 4 years, u need to seriously consider moving on. Serious guys don't need more than 12 months to pop d question. They can lie to u about how they still need to "make it" b4 marriage, but na scam. If a guy can go 3 weeks without talking to u. Big red flag. That guy doesn't love u anymore except ur own Bleep up has really piled up. And be calming down, d fact u can afford your things doesn't mean u shd act alone n not give him a chance to shine n bruise his ego. That is ur own red flag. Drop that independent mentality except u willing to marry your possessions. I am sure u can reach out to him if u want. These talk of calling n not picking n going to see him once n he not around...WEAK excuse. If u want to see him, u know what to do. Hopefully he hasn't already moved on. But if he comes back, don't waste any more time in that relationship. 3 Likes |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by InvertedHammer: 1:40am On Jan 13, 2021 |
/
That’s the sad thing about LOVE. You may love someone wholeheartedly. But do they love you equally or are they just playing along for the benefits? You can only answer this for yourself. It is funny hearing someone talk about how the partner loves him/her. As long as you don’t have access to the internal working of his soul, there is no guarantee. That’s why one day they are in love, the next day they are disgracing themselves in public.
/ 3 Likes |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by 0neal(m): 1:44am On Jan 13, 2021 |
HARDDON:
Op painted the story so subtly and tilted the light on her part living the sad side of her, ever so slightly, out. Here now, the gullible ones are having a field day calling out the guy.
But I see through it all.
The thing is that the op has had a grudge about the guy not coming through for her like she has been doing for him. And ladies naturally pile this kinda stuff up until it gets to head. Which is when the ride arrived.
Forget her tale of not needing his help, her body language was screaming it. Yet, once again, the guy ignored it.
This is what lead him to apologise after the whole ish.
Even though he has his reasons for not supporting financially.
Why he went off the handle is the cold way she responded. That wasn't a normal response, it was a coded attack on his person. then she even had the temerity to drop the call.
May he never return Its obvious there's more to this drama that the OP is not telling. For her boyfriend ( of close to four years ) to escalate and go ghost mode for three weeks, she probably used a condescending tone to tell him all that's she has been bottling inside. |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Nobody: 1:45am On Jan 13, 2021 |
cooooooks:
I think 2 and 6 are bad pieces of advice.
2. She should not reduce her earning power for any body. If he had any financial difficulty, what will she do?
6. It is very difficult to raise a family, children or not, on one average to middle class person's income. Marriage is a partnership and both partners must continue equitably.
"She should look for a lower paying job". Can you imagine the konkonbility? God forbid this kind of advice. God forbid. |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by AbujaCitiBlog: 1:48am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Habby222:
Advice needed pls.
I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.
He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.
This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.
Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.
A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.
All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.
Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice. Until and unless we hear from him, it is impossible to give advice and the reason is the way young people of nowadays tell atrocious lies to favor themselves. You have highlighted points and issues that are favourable to you. Let him have the same opportunity of talking to us. Then in-between the two different accounts, the truth will come out! So until that happens, this is just an unsubstantiated allegation. Have a good day to yourself. |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by samx4real(m): 1:52am On Jan 13, 2021 |
move on babe,
He know say una don reach to settle down but he is not capable. 1 Like |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by samx4real(m): 1:52am On Jan 13, 2021 |
move on babe,
He know say una don reach to settle down but he is not capable. 1 Like |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Judolisco(m): 1:55am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Habby222:
Advice needed pls.
I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.
He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.
This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.
Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.
A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.
All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.
Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice. leave him alone he will call you.... U Don try sef... No lose focus... No kill yourself untop man... If that's all u said that annoyed him he will definitely call back 1 Like |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Nicoddemus(m): 1:58am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Habby222:
Advice needed pls.
I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.
He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.
This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.
Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.
A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.
All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.
Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice. Your success intimidates the guy and he thinks your kind of person will not listen to him in marriage. As a guy believe me the point that guy raised is a very strong one and there's little or nothing you can do to change it. You can do little to save that relationship 1 Like |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Shokoloko(f): 2:14am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Chii59:
"She should look for a lower paying job". Can you imagine the konkonbility? God forbid this kind of advice. God forbid. You are now the second lady who could not decipher sarcasm. Midas was the first who did not. I just pray the third person isnt a lady, else these men will term ladies as "fish brain" |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Colonelswitz101(m): 2:21am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Habby222:
Advice needed pls.
I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.
He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.
This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.
Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.
A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.
All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.
Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice. For the fact that u brought ur relationship matter to this forum hoping to get advice from these brood of vipers, hypocritical being and witches and wizards, that decision alone shows that u don't have sense... |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Dreyton36: 2:33am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Tribalism123:
And u think u responded well? And u think I give a fvck about ur perspective? |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Evii: 2:53am On Jan 13, 2021 |
My dear, how do you keep a bird that doesn't want to stay? It's either you imprison it or you break his wings but in either ways the bird would die. The best thing is to let the bird go if he comes back to you he'll be yours forever and if he doesn't the bird has made his choice. Babe, let it go.
Learn not to force yourself into once life, don't call people who doesn't call or care for you. Thanks 1 Like |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Coldie(m): 3:01am On Jan 13, 2021 |
How una dae use meet all dz stup1d guys self |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by udemzyudex(m): 3:08am On Jan 13, 2021 |
for the fact that he doesn't pick your calls or even deem it fit to call you back or visit you since you already visited him, it shows he has been looking for a way to trash you.
Haba. |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by NoToPile: 3:15am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Please don't marry him.
He wanted to elicit a reaction from you that was why he brought up the issue up, whatever you said was going to be used against you.
Its not like he's even broke and he's already like this. |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by steeltrust: 3:18am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Habby222:
Advice needed pls.
I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.
He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.
This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.
Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.
A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.
All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.
Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice. op the advice I ve for you is I love you and I need you in my life Live day guy He no love u 1 Like 1 Share |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by BigJoe19: 3:21am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Break up if you want to, wait if you want. Your problem  |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Nobody: 3:46am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Oluromantic:
What I see is incompatibility. I say so because what he did was wrong and your reaction also was mean. See lemme tell you one secret. When your partner does some extremely annoying things, it always wise not to obey your instinct of revenge because at long last, people won't see his wrong but blame you for your extreme reaction. That's the formula most men use to avoid physical abuse of their women.
You shouldn't have cut the call on him. And from the story, you seem to have had him in mind over his lack of support in previous times which was what pushed you to react that way, because if that wasn't the case, your conscience would strike you to call back and apologize for hanging up on him...that's the normal thing when in love.
Besides, waiting a whole week to call him back, truth be told, you seem to be emotionally stable than him and you're using it as strength against him. He seem more emotional, that's why he wanted to year you say something affectionate about taking his little offer of support for the car. If you had joked about it and gave him a tender feeling that you'll take his offer, that would have puffed up his masculinity and he'll feel honored. You need to study his psychic to know what response will soothe him.
You both need to open up to each other more. That issue of asking him for money because you have been the one supporting him was probably presented as a sudden rise of intelligence which he's not been used to from you. You shouldn't have presented it like "I can't afford it, I need your help". It would have been better if you had presented it like "I can afford it but I want ur support so I can remember you and brag of you" Not like a revenge strategy now but like I want your influence and aura in my things. That will not only make you wify but will also make him feel you believe in him. Wish I could advice you privately That private discussion? Don't go and start wooing someone girlfriend ooo because now you have seen a made girl noww.... But to be candid Sha The girl didn't understand how responsible men brain works when we can't help our babes to achieve any of their dreams financially .... Babe come to my DM let me advise you too like my guy... But I can date you for 6 month and marry you.. Make ah no hide  |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by ubola: 3:47am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Evii:
My dear, how do you keep a bird that doesn't want to stay? It's either you imprison it or you break his wings but in either ways the bird would die. The best thing is to let the bird go if he comes back to you he'll be yours forever and if he doesn't the bird has made his choice. Babe, let it go.
Learn not to force yourself into once life, don't call people who doesn't call or care for you. Thanks You said my mind, kindly move on as there's no victory in standing still. Don't try to bend him against his will as it may affect you 2moro, you'll definitely find someone better if he doesn't show up, and don't act desperate cuz you may end up as baby mama 4 him without any financial assistance from him, be smart. 1 Like |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by lekonso: 3:51am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Please move on, the guy has moved on, so you should do likewise |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by majorbravo: 3:52am On Jan 13, 2021 |
udemzyudex:
for the fact that he doesn't pick your calls or even deem it fit to call you back or visit you since you already visited him, it shows he has been looking for a way to trash you.
Haba. Fact! One or 2 days silence at most, may be enough for him to overcome his bad mood. But 3 weeks, that's a clear Abandon Ship signal. The fact she wants to test if he loves her, 4 years into their relationship tells me she's probably older than him or now grown too old for him now. That nigga been looking for an excuse to bail and she made it easy for him by not calling him to make peace after dropping his call in an argument. For crying out loud, she just sounded like she doesn't need him, he complained about this, and she banged the phone on him, proving his exact sentiment. What a way to lose a guy quick. This dude obviously is either still young or has ego issues and needs the kinda woman who worships the very ground he walks on. I wonder how they lasted 4 years to begin with. |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by kunkelhanspeter(m): 3:54am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Midas01:
So you've been hoeing around? Not only me |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Okwuazi930(m): 3:59am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Am impressed by ur words,u av so much wisdom Oluromantic:
What I see is incompatibility. I say so because what he did was wrong and your reaction also was mean. See lemme tell you one secret. When your partner does some extremely annoying things, it always wise not to obey your instinct of revenge because at long last, people won't see his wrong but blame you for your extreme reaction. That's the formula most men use to avoid physical abuse of their women.
You shouldn't have cut the call on him. And from the story, you seem to have had him in mind over his lack of support in previous times which was what pushed you to react that way, because if that wasn't the case, your conscience would strike you to call back and apologize for hanging up on him...that's the normal thing when in love.
Besides, waiting a whole week to call him back, truth be told, you seem to be emotionally stable than him and you're using it as strength against him. He seem more emotional, that's why he wanted to year you say something affectionate about taking his little offer of support for the car. If you had joked about it and gave him a tender feeling that you'll take his offer, that would have puffed up his masculinity and he'll feel honored. You need to study his psychic to know what response will soothe him.
You both need to open up to each other more. That issue of asking him for money because you have been the one supporting him was probably presented as a sudden rise of intelligence which he's not been used to from you. You shouldn't have presented it like "I can't afford it, I need your help". It would have been better if you had presented it like "I can afford it but I want ur support so I can remember you and brag of you" Not like a revenge strategy now but like I want your influence and aura in my things. That will not only make you wify but will also make him feel you believe in him. Wish I could advice you privately |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Skmoda360(m): 4:01am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Nazgul:
My dear let him be. He's very childish and insecure, guys like that will prefer to see you broke and miserable crawling to him every now and then to tell him your problem while he mocks and indirectly insult you before giving you less than half of the financial assistance you requested for, than succeed.
People like him would rather die than see you climb up the ladder of your career. They will always frown at every success you make and fight tooth and nail go pull you down, they will never ever celebrate geninuely with you on your personal achievements, cos to him you're competing and rubbing shoulders with him. His ego will always see you as a proud, disrespectful, uncultured creature, regardless of the efforts you put in to make that relationship work.
My advice? Let him go. I know it hurts considering the fact that you trusted him with your heart, but believe me, he doesn't deserve you. He'll do worse to you in future if you guys get married. You'll definitely get a more confident and mature guy who will love and value you. Please don't always jump into conclusion anytime you read stories on Nairaland. There is always a two-side to a story.....do you know whether she is giving us the full gist? |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Juliearth(f): 4:08am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Habby222:
Advice needed pls.
I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.
He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.
This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.
Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.
A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.
All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.
Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice. Your boyfriend is egoistic. He felt embarrassed as a man that his woman can pull off purchasing a car on her own. To crown it all, you let out so much in a bid to make him understand how independent you are. I am not apportioning faults here, especially because this is the first time this happening. Don't worry, he will come around and when that happens, in the future, you should be mindful of how you go about reassuring him of your independence. Just as an extra tip, if that would help quell future tension, you can even ask( not because you are in need, but because you want him to be actively involved). Good luck! |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by Juliearth(f): 4:12am On Jan 13, 2021 |
DICKstractor:
The battle is between INSECURITY and INDEPENDENCY
Nature is trying to tell you that you guys ain't compatible. You should read the handwriting on the wall. Move on. It's better to cry now than cry later when you get trapped in that thing called MARRIAGE
Someone once said "wahala dey like DANGOTE towel, e no dey cover nyash finish"
Shea you get the point now... I don't think we should rule this too quickly as a case of incompatibility. They have been good before this meltdown. I think op just needs to apply wisdom when dealing with him in the future. Op, as an extra tip yet again, when this drama is over and he is in a good mood, try and find out his stance on working class wives. I hate to sound judgemental, but I won't be surprised if he asks you to quit your job once you marry him. |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by rolams(m): 4:27am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Habby222:
Advice needed pls.
I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.
He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.
This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.
Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.
A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.
All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.
Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice. You better maintain your lane. He's looking for way to let you out of the relationship. He believes you are richer than him. Don't waste your time! God is not dead, God will not die, God will forever be alive and doesn't reward good with evil. Your true man shall come soon. |
| Re: My Boyfriend Stopped Calling And Picking My Calls by capitalzero: 4:44am On Jan 13, 2021 |
Habby222:
Advice needed pls.
I've been with this guy for close to four years now and its not really been a perfect relationship. Lots of ups and downs due to what I can term insecurity. At some point we're cool and the next minute issues arises just like every other relationship.
He's a good guy to some extent as he showers me with love ( my thoughts)and a lot of times he gives gifts not money though. I've had to give financial assistance to him alot of times, he returns some if he deemed it necessary and doesn't return if he so wishes. I've never complained about this and still always willing to help him out whenever he is in need. Pls note that we're both financially ok.
This gesture of me offering him financial help stopped when I realise he doesn't do same to me. I've had to test him on serval occasions that I needed financial help and he has never for once helped out on those request despite knowing he has. I never needed the money though, I made those request to know if I could actually fall back to him if I'm in need.
Last year October, I told him about my plans of getting a new car as I got tired of the one I was using. Pls note that I did not request him to buy for me neither did I ask for any support whatsoever. I contacted my source in the US with my budget and spec, was able to find one in a short time and I paid for it. All of this moves were known to him. By December, the car arrived and cleared accordingly with every expenses incurred payed by me. He gave some moral support though.
A week after getting the car, he called me one morning and started apologising for not supporting financially in getting the car which I told him I had no issues with that. I told him I wasn't expecting more than moral support from him since I could afford getting the car on my own. I also made him realise he doesn't owe me no apology as I wasn't t his responsibility since we weren't married and that even if we were married, ill always want to get my stuffs myself as long as I can afford it. The next I heard was him ranting on phone that he doesn't expect less from me, said I'm a proud and that he knew I wasn't going to be a good wife. He said he has always known I wasn't going to be a submissive wife and a whole lot of other derogatory words despite not having issues whatsoever prior to that time. I ended the call as I was so surprised he could say those mean words to me.
All through that day he didn't call back and I did not as well cos I was expecting him to realise I was hurt by his actions. A week pass and still no call from him so I decided to call him and he didn't pick. I'd sent a lot of of messages to him and has not replied to any. I'd gone to his house to check up on him and not met him too. Its been three weeks now and we haven't spoken and seen despite all of my effort to talk to him and or see.
Guys please I'm confused and do not know how to handle the issue. Pls advice. 4 years wasted in the name of love and you are still begging him. He would pick the calls after you keep begging him for the next 4 years |
