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So Confused Right Now - Family (2) - Nairaland

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I Have Never Been So Confused! / Am So Confused,urgent Advice Needed / Please I Need Serious Advise As I Am So Confused And Stressed Out (2) (3) (4)

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Re: So Confused Right Now by UjuJoan2: 6:59am On Jan 14, 2021
When I tell women not to get pregnant for men before marriage they think I'm being judgemental. Now see what a fully grown woman is going through in the hands of a man . . A broke for dude for that matter. What a shame.

I blame the woman, she put herself in this situation. I just wish she could see this thread so she will truly understand the kind of evil person she is dealing with.

This one is both an Ogbenye and an Amusu!!! Tufiakwa . . .

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: So Confused Right Now by UjuJoan2: 7:01am On Jan 14, 2021
Pmedia7787:
Take care

You lost your peace

Don't lose your life

That only applies to someone with an actual conscience.
Re: So Confused Right Now by UjuJoan2: 7:02am On Jan 14, 2021
LadySarah:


then leave her and marry the perfect creature you kept somewhere.

If you were in her shoes or she's your sister ,you'll be happy with her phantom husband.

See your mouth see my wife when to pay brideprice is like canada Visa to you. 6 whole yrs you tied someone s daughter down just to punish her. mtcheww!


The man's foolishness is annoying!

1 Like

Re: So Confused Right Now by Nobody: 8:00am On Jan 14, 2021
Chai! See wickedness!

1 Like

Re: So Confused Right Now by uchaymart(m): 8:21am On Jan 14, 2021
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked



I have only two advices, one question and a conclusion.

1st advice:
Stop calling her your wife; you deserve better. Better excitement, better conquests, better commitment, better sacrifices, better honesty.
Just consider your 6 years with her as fore-play or an Industrial Training on marriage. You're only using her to train yourself into becoming the ideal man for your real wife.

2nd advice:
No lady learns how to kiss from Telemundo.
Women learn through practice and not through visuals. Her proficiency in kissing now should also give you a clue to how devoted she is to infidelity.
Her increased secrecy and new benefactor is more than a red flag.
4k is symbolic...Most Igbo men won't send a random lady 4k unless he has or will 4rk her.

Don't feel any guilt if you don't marry her.
There is no law that says that we must marry any lady who we cohabit with or who has a baby for us.
You've done your best for her, she's even the reason you are broke and in debt.
So don't be trapped into a long journey of regret.

Question:
If you join a bus from Awka to Lagos that allows you pay upon arrival at your destination and you notice at Nkpor that the driver is not driving so fast because the shaft is faulty then this bus breaks down at Umunede but is fixed yet still moving very slowly and you truly doubt it's capability to take you safely and in time to Lagos; will you continue your trip in this bus or will you get down, use your money and look for a better bus that will give you peace of mind?

Conclusion:
Read the signs.
Dump her before she dumps you.
Shalom.

A mastermind is one who's feeding others off his talent.
Ride on, Sir
You are a Master!!

2 Likes

Re: So Confused Right Now by adadike(f): 10:51am On Jan 14, 2021
LadyTianna:


Oh please. Which kind of stupid love is that. He said he punishes her by extending the action of paying her bride price. Do you know the psychological implication of living as a baby mama with a man you're not married to for so many years? I honestly would not blame such a woman for trying to find a more serious suitor. He sounds so immature
the thing tire me my dear. For good six years o. No marriage or relationship is perfect. Where I come from, even the baby is not yours and will never be yours unless you pay the bride price. The girl should be the one leaving not the guy

7 Likes

Re: So Confused Right Now by Nobody: 12:00pm On Jan 14, 2021
Lol... I'm not done reading but that no 2 @ expert kissing" had me laughing like crazy. Very funny.

Well.. I won't blame you for any action you decide to take because if she respected and placed value on herself in the first place, all these will not be happening. So anyone who decides to useless herself and is being taken for granted in the end deserves it.

You on you part, you want to leave after chopping her free for 3yrs to go and start "afresh" who told you life works like that? Afresh kor, anew nii.. you better carry your cross and quickly go and do the needful before you start looking for where to go for deliverance from curses from past relationships.

You can't have your cake and eat it.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: So Confused Right Now by KidDarkness(m): 1:15pm On Jan 14, 2021
I see your point and I totally understand how you feel. I'm going to give you an advice and I won't repeat it because it's golden. You better sit that woman down, have a discussion with her. Remove that baby mama tag and turn it to wife. After eating the cookie right from the jar for more than six years without any direction, you now want to ditch her? For who na? You want to dump her on people like me that have not chop before abi? This is wickedness! After y'all will now tag her evening newspaper. Oga, that's your wife. If she sees direction in the relationship, she won't misbehave. For your own good and for people like me, abeg settle with your destined wife

4 Likes

Re: So Confused Right Now by Nobody: 2:10pm On Jan 14, 2021
futurerex:
What is this one saying? Abegi, go meet her make una settle unaselves or involve family elders.


Check your gmail
Re: So Confused Right Now by NoToPile: 2:26pm On Jan 14, 2021
Ishilove:

Don't blame him. It is the chicken legged woman who chose to be tied down for 6 years that you will blame. If after 2 years no sign of seriousness then any woman whose umbilical cord was not used for rituals is supposed to pack her kaya and geddifok.


The bolded sounds harsh but ehn it is what it is.


There's a simple rule to this, marry a man properly then start a family, it saves a lot of headache , how some ladies still don't understand this simple principle is what I still don't get.

Imagine him saying he is using delaying payment of bride price as punishment.

You saw alert of 4k from an Igboman you have concluded immediately, sebi she has a shop shey customer cannot by 4k goods and transfer ni.

9 Likes

Re: So Confused Right Now by Ishilove: 3:26pm On Jan 14, 2021
NoToPile:



The bolded sounds harsh but ehn it is what it is.


There's a simple rule to this, marry a man properly then start a family, it saves a lot of headache , how some ladies still don't understand this simple principle is what I still don't get.

Imagine him saying he is using delaying payment of bride price as punishment.

You saw alert of 4k from an Igboman you have concluded immediately, sebi she has a shop shey customer cannot by 4k goods and transfer ni.


I don't really understand some people.
Re: So Confused Right Now by faithfull18(f): 3:31pm On Jan 14, 2021
KidDarkness:
I see your point and I totally understand how you feel. I'm going to give you an advice and I won't repeat it because it's golden. You better sit that woman down, have a discussion with her. Remove that baby mama tag and turn it to wife. After eating the cookie right from the jar for more than six years without any direction, you now want to ditch her? For who na? You want to dump her on people like me that have not chop before abi? This is wickedness! After y'all will now tag her evening newspaper. Oga, that's your wife. If she sees direction in the relationship, she won't misbehave. For your own good and for people like me, abeg settle with your destined wife
Lol, chief adviser.
Re: So Confused Right Now by ceeceeuwa: 4:02pm On Jan 14, 2021
ADEMALAIKA2:
Good evening all.

I just opened this thread to seek for opinion of what have been bothering my mind .

No1 .I have a baby mama staying with me for the past 6 years .We have been together for long and we live peacefully but on some occasions ,she gets on my nerve and I am the type that forgive easily couple with the fact that I love her .We ain't married yet because anytime she offends me ,it really hurt me and I keep punishing her by extending when we are going to make the coexistence official .I have a boy who is close to 3 years .

I am working as a salary earner but not getting enough pay as salary .Today ,I went to her shop .I needed #8,000 to be sent to her account to make some online payment because my ATM was not with me. I have the money as cash and my wife was to help me pay the money into her account so that I can use her card (Note that i call her wife and i do that anywhere even on social media ).My wife supposed to go to the next POS shop to pay the money into her account but she paid in #5,000 .She actually have money in her account to balance up my #8,000 but what surprised me is that when I tried to check how much she paid into her account ,I discovered a man (igbo by name ) sent #4,000 to her of recent and she still have the money in her account .I mentioned igbo because our families are not even related to igbo tribe .When I tried to hold to her phone very well ,she started dragging the phone with me .With this ,I know something was not right I just kept quiet Even till now ,I did not say anything (very unusual of me ).I later went out .I just came in now about to sleep.I rejected her dinner just now. .

No2.

I noticed for over three months now ,she have been so expert in kissing .Things we were not good at before but I didnt even raise an eyebrow about that though till now .I thought she learnt that through telemundo or whatever .I work in lagos and we live in lagos .Though sometimes,I may decide to spend 2 or 3 days at work but most times I come home everyday .

My point is that my landlord gave me 3-month quit notice and I am planning to relocate before April ending .I am thinking of not taking her along .My son is on holiday with my wife mother .I hope I will not be making a grievous mistake packing my things and leaving her behind to go back to her parent house .Anytime she offends me ,I feel so hurt and betrayed .This is someone I am owing a lot of people some money because I needed to get a shop for her and all my salary since I know her have always been spent on her and my son.Sometimes ,I send money to her relatives though I have stopped that anyway.

I plan to leave her behind and keep sending to her to take care of my son.I plan to only pick some essential items in the mini flat we presently leave .

I only want to start afresh.

Is it that you can not have a 'heart to heart talk' with her? It appears you are no longer attracted to her reason why you are letting grudges linger. Bringing your relationship challenges to Nairaland will only cause you more heartache!
If you doubt me, wait and see how they will call your baby mama all sorts of names.
Re: So Confused Right Now by KidDarkness(m): 4:25pm On Jan 14, 2021
faithfull18:
Lol, chief adviser.
That's my own little help to him
Re: So Confused Right Now by joseph1832(m): 4:25pm On Jan 14, 2021
SweetCunt97:
So what is stopping these people from communicating? You saw alert from an Igbo name and you already thinking negatively?

I have alerts from different humans who have never seen my pant talk more of anything and it means nothing. Affairs that can be easily sorted out, you wanna dump.

@Op who d fvck u wanna dump a Pucci you've fvcked for 6 years? Weak Coward.
Like the woman didn't live under his roof for 6 years rent free? Put him in debt while living rent free under his roof and still have the nerve to cheat. Yeah I know...

Common now. The relationship is mutually beneficial. If and when he decides he doesn't want to Bleep her anymore, he's free to leave, after all couples divorce after 10 to 20 years of marriage.

So why call him a coward. Tssssk

1 Like

Re: So Confused Right Now by Randy100: 5:57pm On Jan 14, 2021
joseph1832:
Like the woman didn't live under his roof for 6 years rent free? Put him in debt while living rent free under his roof and still have the nerve to cheat. Yeah I know...

Common now. The relationship is mutually beneficial. If and when he decides he doesn't want to Bleep her anymore, he's free to leave, after all couples divorce after 10 to 20 years of marriage.

So why call him a coward. Tssssk

I tire for that girl, but I won't blame her, girls are just too emotional over things.

1 Like

Re: So Confused Right Now by Femsyn(m): 6:08pm On Jan 14, 2021
I'd put most of the blame of the lady and her family.

The lady has not shown enough value to you, that's why you keep postponing marriage to her, just because she offends you. Do you think offences will miraculously disappear after marriage, even if you marry an angel?

I can sense that you're everything to her, financially. All that she is today is by your grace. The lady holds nothing of value, except the child you have together. This is the main problem. I feel she doesn't contribute anything substantial to the "family".

I also sense she's from a poor family, who are even happy to have their daughter out of the house. That is, one less mouth to feed.

I'm giving you reasons why your situation is the way it is. It's now your responsibility to conclude.

The person who needs an advice is your partner, not you!

1 Like

Re: So Confused Right Now by Sheikwonder(m): 6:30pm On Jan 14, 2021
Ishilove:

I don't really understand some people.

Just logged in to Nairaland and this is the first comment I'm seeing after a long time. Pardon the digression oo, just want to say that I've missed you madam. smiley
Re: So Confused Right Now by bjprodint(f): 6:34pm On Jan 14, 2021
falcon01:
ahhh!!! chill lady, he shows her live nah besides from his write up he loves her and will marry her but things happening are making him have second doubts.
He didnt have second mind impregnating her.the op should go and sit down jare,after using her for six years he wants to leave her.let him marry her and have total say over her,or leave and get lost.using a woman 4 free and still get mouth to talk.#teamnobrideprice,nomarriage!
Re: So Confused Right Now by lagusboyyy(m): 7:10pm On Jan 14, 2021
ADEMALAIKA2:
Good evening all.

I just opened this thread to seek for opinion of what have been bothering my mind .

No1 .I have a baby mama staying with me for the past 6 years .We have been together for long and we live peacefully but on some occasions ,she gets on my nerve and I am the type that forgive easily couple with the fact that I love her .We ain't married yet because anytime she offends me ,it really hurt me and I keep punishing her by extending when we are going to make the coexistence official .I have a boy who is close to 3 years .

I am working as a salary earner but not getting enough pay as salary .Today ,I went to her shop .I needed #8,000 to be sent to her account to make some online payment because my ATM was not with me. I have the money as cash and my wife was to help me pay the money into her account so that I can use her card (Note that i call her wife and i do that anywhere even on social media ).My wife supposed to go to the next POS shop to pay the money into her account but she paid in #5,000 .She actually have money in her account to balance up my #8,000 but what surprised me is that when I tried to check how much she paid into her account ,I discovered a man (igbo by name ) sent #4,000 to her of recent and she still have the money in her account .I mentioned igbo because our families are not even related to igbo tribe .When I tried to hold to her phone very well ,she started dragging the phone with me .With this ,I know something was not right I just kept quiet Even till now ,I did not say anything (very unusual of me ).I later went out .I just came in now about to sleep.I rejected her dinner just now. .

No2.

I noticed for over three months now ,she have been so expert in kissing .Things we were not good at before but I didnt even raise an eyebrow about that though till now .I thought she learnt that through telemundo or whatever .I work in lagos and we live in lagos .Though sometimes,I may decide to spend 2 or 3 days at work but most times I come home everyday .

My point is that my landlord gave me 3-month quit notice and I am planning to relocate before April ending .I am thinking of not taking her along .My son is on holiday with my wife mother .I hope I will not be making a grievous mistake packing my things and leaving her behind to go back to her parent house .Anytime she offends me ,I feel so hurt and betrayed .This is someone I am owing a lot of people some money because I needed to get a shop for her and all my salary since I know her have always been spent on her and my son.Sometimes ,I send money to her relatives though I have stopped that anyway.

I plan to leave her behind and keep sending to her to take care of my son.I plan to only pick some essential items in the mini flat we presently leave .

I only want to start afresh.

Try to have a quality dialogue with her bro, tell her everything on your mind.

And listen to her response attentively, you will be able to decode, and know your next step.

Don't just ghost up on her, i believe you are a matured guy.
Re: So Confused Right Now by Ishilove: 7:52pm On Jan 14, 2021
Sheikwonder:


Just logged in to Nairaland and this is the first comment I'm seeing after a long time. Pardon the digression oo, just want to say that I've missed you madam. smiley
Sheikwonderman! It's been ages cheesy

How have you been darling?
Re: So Confused Right Now by iamL(f): 8:07pm On Jan 14, 2021
All these wicked time waster!

I blame the lady, when you tell girls to marry a man properly before he even sleeps with you then start a family some ladies they won't listen now see this broke thing ordinary #8k feeling big.

Imagine saying he is using delaying payment of bride price as punishment. Tufiakwa!

After kissing her to nonsense why won't she be a fast learner? Isn't she a trader why won't she received alert from her customers? just 4k self, I reject bad thing.

Abeg leave her with your bad luck that will make her to learn her lesson hence she will hunt for a standard man, she is even fortunate since is just 1 child.

In your next marriage when your wife upset u pack and be a serial husband.

4 Likes

Re: So Confused Right Now by Sheikwonder(m): 8:40pm On Jan 14, 2021
Ishilove:

Sheikwonderman! It's been ages cheesy

How have you been darling?

I'm alright. Happy to have made it to a new year. How are you? I suppose you are doing just fine. Here's me wishing you an awesome 2021 despite the virus.
Re: So Confused Right Now by BigDick70inch(m): 9:06pm On Jan 14, 2021
LadyTianna:
Foolish man. You've been cohabiting with her without paying her bride price for how many years. Why won't she cheat on you when you're so unserious with her. The part where you said you normally do it as punishment is what I find particularly irritating. As if marrying you is some sort of reward. I hope she finds someone better than you when you eventually pack out and leave her. What nonsense


Calm down and shut up!!!!
Why attack the poor man for not paying the bride yet

Does that has to do with anything

Didn't u hear lawfully wedded wife brings bastard home to their so called husband..........after paying heavy bride price on dem..........

2 Likes

Re: So Confused Right Now by sisisioge: 9:32pm On Jan 14, 2021
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

They said intelligent women mostly find it hard finding a soul mate. Hian! Who dates these people biko! It is well.

2 Likes

Re: So Confused Right Now by BigDick70inch(m): 9:49pm On Jan 14, 2021
ADEMALAIKA2:
Good evening all.

I just opened this thread to seek for opinion of what have been bothering my mind .

No1 .I have a baby mama staying with me for the past 6 years .We have been together for long and we live peacefully but on some occasions ,she gets on my nerve and I am the type that forgive easily couple with the fact that I love her .We ain't married yet because anytime she offends me ,it really hurt me and I keep punishing her by extending when we are going to make the coexistence official .I have a boy who is close to 3 years .

I am working as a salary earner but not getting enough pay as salary .Today ,I went to her shop .I needed #8,000 to be sent to her account to make some online payment because my ATM was not with me. I have the money as cash and my wife was to help me pay the money into her account so that I can use her card (Note that i call her wife and i do that anywhere even on social media ).My wife supposed to go to the next POS shop to pay the money into her account but she paid in #5,000 .She actually have money in her account to balance up my #8,000 but what surprised me is that when I tried to check how much she paid into her account ,I discovered a man (igbo by name ) sent #4,000 to her of recent and she still have the money in her account .I mentioned igbo because our families are not even related to igbo tribe .When I tried to hold to her phone very well ,she started dragging the phone with me .With this ,I know something was not right I just kept quiet Even till now ,I did not say anything (very unusual of me ).I later went out .I just came in now about to sleep.I rejected her dinner just now. .

No2.

I noticed for over three months now ,she have been so expert in kissing .Things we were not good at before but I didnt even raise an eyebrow about that though till now .I thought she learnt that through telemundo or whatever .I work in lagos and we live in lagos .Though sometimes,I may decide to spend 2 or 3 days at work but most times I come home everyday .

My point is that my landlord gave me 3-month quit notice and I am planning to relocate before April ending .I am thinking of not taking her along .My son is on holiday with my wife mother .I hope I will not be making a grievous mistake packing my things and leaving her behind to go back to her parent house .Anytime she offends me ,I feel so hurt and betrayed .This is someone I am owing a lot of people some money because I needed to get a shop for her and all my salary since I know her have always been spent on her and my son.Sometimes ,I send money to her relatives though I have stopped that anyway.

I plan to leave her behind and keep sending to her to take care of my son.I plan to only pick some essential items in the mini flat we presently leave .

I only want to start afresh.



[b]Hello op!!!!
If u wanna get your heart more shattered and yourself manipulated ehn
Just follow what any of those girls typed okay??

See them mention bride price asif that stops the girl from cheating

As if the lawfully wedded wives ain't the one bringing bastard home to their husbands recently............even after huge amount was paid on them as bride price.........

See....anything that cost u yo peace is too expensive for u.........avoid it!!!!!!!!

2 Likes

Re: So Confused Right Now by Liposure: 9:50pm On Jan 14, 2021
Another babymama drama. The matter never ends
Re: So Confused Right Now by SweetCunt97(f): 6:50am On Jan 15, 2021
joseph1832:
Like the woman didn't live under his roof for 6 years rent free? Put him in debt while living rent free under his roof and still have the nerve to cheat. Yeah I know...

Common now. The relationship is mutually beneficial. If and when he decides he doesn't want to Bleep her anymore, he's free to leave, after all couples divorce after 10 to 20 years of marriage.

So why call him a coward. Tssssk
There's no concrete evidence that she cheated naw. Abi are you the one she cheated with ni?
Re: So Confused Right Now by joseph1832(m): 7:37am On Jan 15, 2021
SweetCunt97:
There's no concrete evidence that she cheated naw. Abi are you the one she cheated with ni?
no concrete evidence she cheated yet there you are calling him a coward. Or you're the coward?
Re: So Confused Right Now by joseph1832(m): 7:38am On Jan 15, 2021
sisisioge:
grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

They said intelligent women mostly find it hard finding a soul mate. Hian! Who dates these people biko! It is well.
not just intelligent women, intelligent men also.
Re: So Confused Right Now by SweetCunt97(f): 8:03am On Jan 15, 2021
joseph1832:
no concrete evidence she cheated yet there you are calling him a coward. Or you're the coward?
Shey u saw me in your dream? What have I done to u? He's a coward for wanting to jump ship without any concrete reason. Why not communicate
Re: So Confused Right Now by joseph1832(m): 8:07am On Jan 15, 2021
SweetCunt97:
Shey u saw me in your dream? What have I done to u? He's a coward for wanting to jump ship without any concrete reason. Why not communicate
I'm sure you're the type who always feel entitled to a man's money and his possession, yet without contributing anything other than your vagina, you'll see it as your business to chase his friends and family away.

If the OP likes, he can jump ship whenever he wants. It's his life and his life alone. Did he hold a gun to the woman's head? Nope. So he doesn't need any reason to give her the boot.

1 Like

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