you go to pick your son from the school and he comes out crying. you ask what the problem is, he tells you another classmate of his had spanked him. you are filled with wrath but you must hold your peace.

what is the best thing to tell your son who has just been beaten by another age mate of his?

I'll tell him, that he's a boy and boys will always be boys , courage him a little to fight for himself, and try to make him realise that its all part of growing up, big kids always pick on weaker kids.
Visit the school, and talk to the boys/the teachers
If you  act agressive to the other boys or try to fight for him, you are only hurting  him more.
he wont have you dere all time .

tell him next time to ensure he kicks that sucker's ass!
just kidding, but hey my kid aint gon be no wimp!

Inasmuch as I would want my son to be tough, I will not accept such nonsense because I did not send my son to school to become a boxer. The bullies, their parents, and the school will pay dearly for it.

Talk to the principal and then demand to schedule a Parent to Parent meeting with the other child's parents to let the principal know that you are serious.  No need for violence!  If it happens again---call the PoPo to file an official complaint against the bully and parents! Thank God this is not Nigeria where "vandalism" and assault are glorified!

oh you are in Nigeria even better, just get some bigger boys to get friendly with your son and ask them to keep an eye on him for you, you may have to give them a reason to, i.e an incentive, if you know what i mean or better still go to the school find the boys and look them squarely in the face and tell them calmly if they touch you child again it is you and them ''at night'' tell them you a chief witch or something. ( that should get them scared shitless since Nigerians like to believe every hocus pocus)

The Boy all of you are planning for is the same age as the son.
why run to principal and PTA when youcan talk to the teacher. Its like killing an Ant wit a slage hammer.

kulaShaker  what of if your son is the one that  comes home and tells you that  a grown up threatened him with witchcraft.
God help you if that boy even cuts his finger with his teaspoon they will come and look for you

mamaput:

The Boy all of you are planning for is the same age as the son.
why run to principal and PTA when youcan talk to the teacher. Its like killing an Ant wit a slage hammer.

mamaput:

kulaShaker what of if your son is the one that comes home and tells you that a grown up threatened him with witchcraft.
God help you if that boy even cuts his finger with his teaspoon they will come and look for you

And the solution is----------------------------------------

And the solution is----------------------------------------

wait and see if it happens again then you can talk to the boys mother or the Teacher.
God knows how often it has Happened that Parents are Fighting themselves while the Children have settled themselves long time ago

long story

the more the mother reports the kids to the school or parents the more the bullying will continue , it would get worse, they would start doing more sly and sinister things to the son.
the only reason i said that about the witchcraft thingy is becos , i think it is bullshit myself and thot it would just scare them away ,abi mamaput believes in hocus pocus? . I aint a believer

Your son gets beaten by his classmates and you'll tell him boys will always be boys? What am I hearing?

Next thing the little boy grows up and turns into Seung-Hui Cho, and bleeps everybody.

But Nigerians do.
You are right about that . But only if the reporting is too much.
You can also teach your son how to fight

kobe you so right , you my new hero . if i had a son you know what i would do to those boys right? i won't even spell it out here b4 i get banned

If I have to, I will visit my son's class and flog the little idiots that are bullying him. That will definitely teach them.

Kulashaker your new hero? aren't I a little out of your range. Age wise or nationality wise.

didn't mean that literally , don't flatter yourself love

How can I flatter myself when you flatter me. .
There's no wrong in that.
10 Char.

Children generally pick on the weaker kids. This is how my mama handle it. She told us don't pick a fight or bother somebody. But if someone puts their hands on you, you better kick their asses or try hard. If not, she will put a whup ass on us for not defending ourselves.

Once your son fights back, the bully usually backs off. However, if they see that your son is a weakling, they are going to torment him.

You may almost talk with the school to arrange a meeting with the principal and the parent(s). I know I would not tolerate my child harassing another child.

This is really interesting.

I've heard alot of very interesting answers. But now let me give you the koko.

I grew up in a lower middle class area, where our schools were hell. Bullying was the order of the day. I got my ass beat up a whole lot in school. Now bullying has a whole lot of effects. There is the physical (bruises, cuts, e.t.c) and there is the emotional (now that the one that breeds serial killers). I never for once told my mum I was being beaten up until the day I came back from school with a cut just below my left eye. She did what every mother will do (come to school, rant and rave, demend the culprit be disciplined and all-worth-not), but that only worsened my case. Yes the beatings stopped but the emotional torture heightened. What I did was very simple. I gave some money to some street dudes, got them to follow me to school, they caught all the kids involved, and together we beat the shit out of them. This gave me "street cred", and made me one of the untouchables.

If it was to be my kid today, I will empower him/her to fight their battles (fire for fire) and not fight it for them. I'll enroll him/her in a gym, sign him/her up for boxing and karate lessons, when he/she is ready I'll take him/her to school personally, and instruct him/her to beat the shit out of those bullies. If he/she gets expelled I'll change his/her school. But my kid will never be oppressed while I'm alive.

School bullies are the junior version of criminals like armed robbers and kidnappers. Let's stop giving excuses for their disgusting behaviour. If we declare such behaviour unacceptable, that's exactly what it will be.

If it was to be my kid today, I will empower him/her to fight their battles (fire for fire) and not fight it for them.

Even as an adult, do you fight your own battles? Don't you rely on the police and the army to protect you?
The battles I will want my child to fight in school are academic battles, & social battles, not physical ones!!

Children generally pick on the weaker kids.

And that is why the weaker kids have parents. Being strong is not a license to mistreat a weaker person. If we allow boys to think it's ok to bully the weak, then they will bully their (weaker) wives in the future.

Seun:

School bullies are the junior version of criminals like armed robbers and kidnappers. Let's stop giving excuses for their disgusting behaviour. If we declare such behaviour unacceptable, that's exactly what it will be.
Even as an adult, do you fight your own battles? Don't you rely on the police and the army to protect you?
The battles I will want my child to fight in school are [b]academic battles, & social battles, not physical ones!! And that is why the weaker kids have parents[/b]. Being strong is not a license to mistreat a weaker person. If we allow boys to think it's ok to bully the weak, then they will bully their (weaker) wives in the future.

Thank you oh!  What wisdom!   I beg help me tell them again!  At looks like most here have been subscribing to the comic series "how to be an agbero"!  You think it is when you display brute force you are a hero?  Please use your head to fight your battles not your fist!  Where does it end? 

That is why most Nigerian men are still wife beaters today!   Oyinbo people fight mostly academic battles and can annihilate most countries with crude and primitive cave man "physical" energy.  But try them on the battle field.  Using acaemics and politics they have managed to control the world without fighting on the ground!  Please you guys advocating violence should grow up!

How person go dey teach im picking how to fight for public for God's sake?   It is really disgusting behavior!  The day any of my children go come house tell me say im fight for public-----------anyway, they know better!  God forbid!  Over here, almost every Nigerian meeting or gathering you see adults fighting! 

One group here in their usual monthly meetings had two red capped so-called chiefs removing their caps and resorting to fisticuffs to settle quabbles!  The women nko?  Kai!---------- off comes the blouses and bras in public-----------all because you want to prove that no one can bully you.  When you have other ways to settle your differences. 

When aliens form outer space threaten you what will you do then? --------- having expended all your energy on cock and bull fights?  Intead of using all your energy in the classroom to find cure for cancer and sickle cell? Please save your energy for life threatening situations please! Thank God for my father and mother oh! Kai!  In fact that was a taboo in the house!  Fighting in public?  Yet una go preach all religious crap in this world!  Na wah for some people oh!

The world today is hard.
More so for Boys. If your boy cannot Fight then sorry for him.
It dose not mean that he should fight everyday. But he may have to fight to Prove a point .
Boys are like a Pack of wolfs when they get to meet they Battle for Position in the Pack.
If the boy is strong the others will let him be.
I had a problem like that with my daughter.
There was this girl that always picked on her.I was fed up and told my daughter to waylay her after school. But My daughter was afraid.
Well when it got out of hand she Did it. She waylaid the girl and threatened to beat the shit out of her if she ever spoke to her again.
I was so proud of her.
The Girl left her alone, The school sent for me,I told them i was proud of my daughter then she settled a problem for herself that they could not settle for her.
And that was were it ended.
But i still wish she had beaten up that girl

The best thing is to teach your children how to respect authority and how to find alternative means in settling quabbles!  Fighting is never the answer!  Children have brought knives, guns and acid to school in the name of settling "bully" scores!  That is how cultism started!  Please, there are other ways to settle problems especially with children. 

I cannot be happy if another parent comes to me to tell me that any of my Kids terrorized her own kid in school.  Why?  because I will not like it to happen to any of my kids too!  If the parents work together everyone benefits! 

mamaput:

The world today is hard.
More so for Boys. If your boy cannot Fight then sorry for him.
It dose not mean that he should fight everyday. But he may have to fight to Prove a point .
Boys are like a Pack of wolfs when they get to meet they Battle for Position in the Pack.
If the boy is strong the others will let him be.
I had a problem like that with my daughter.


There was this girl that always picked on her.I was fed up and told my daughter to waylay her after school. But My daughter was afraid.
Well when it got out of hand she Did it. She waylaid the girl and threatened to beat the shit out of her if she ever spoke to her again.
I was so proud of her.


The Girl left her alone, The school sent for me,I told them i was proud of my daughter then she settled a problem for herself that they could not settle for her.
And that was were it ended.
But i still wish she had beaten up that girl

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! _{militia today na sunday, keep quiet for once in your cyber life!}

Use or get used Reid or be ridden.
At my age most of my friends have passed their children through school their sons are grown ups.
No book in this world can help you pass your son through school
No teacher can do anything but talk.
If you go too often to the school your son will suffer the more.
Boys that make their place known never have problems again for the rest of their school stay.
By the way the poster is writing about a small child.

http://www.wolfcountry.net/information/WolfPack.html



Good child psychologist will tell you that that is how it works it schools




) not all Authority is good . I teach my children to Question any Authority teachers can spoil the lives of your child faster than you can say Jack robbinson

2) I do not live in a Getto nothing like guns or acid at our school

3)I would rather my child is the one terrorizing than the one being terrorized .

4) Our children copy us more than they listen to us . so if you the mother cannot control herself how more the child.
5) feel free i do not care if its sundday or xmas day

child psychologist talk out of their dough holes, majority of them have no kids, all they know is what they study and some of it i can give credit to but some are hogwash

If i were a parent i won't listen to people who know all they do about kids from a book rather i would seek advice from other parents. i would suggest looking up www. realparentsRealKidsRealLives.com

kulaShaker:

child psychologist talk out of their dough holes, majority of them have no kids, all they know is what they study and some of it i can give credit to but some are hogwash

If i were a parent i won't listen to people who know all they do about kids from a book rather i would seek advice from other parents. i would suggest looking up www. realparentsRealKidsRealLives.com

you have a point there. But even a village Farmer can observe this behavior in boys.
With girls its a bit more complected

yeah it is more complicated with girls defo!

It would have been a case of "two fighting" if it was to be a classmate but classmates, abeg e no go easy for dat school ooo

@topic
wat do u want me to tell him?other than give him severe beating for allowing a class mate beat him up

@ Topic,

The first thing should have been to report the incident to the school

authorities for them to take appropriate action, so the this ugly situation would not be repeated,  . . . . . ,  .

And then have a very long talk with your child on the importance of standing

up for himself, not in a violent manner but firmly,and then whenever things

escalate he needs to bring it to the attention of the class teacher.