I have literally laughed my a$$ out tonight. Funny stories mehn.

I don't want to sound rude but I have noticed most females see going out on a date as a time to eat free food or 'chop' the guy's money
I thought the primary aim was to get to know each other.

A female friend told me about a date where from start to finish, the guy didn't let her talk. He kept talking and bragging about having contacts of notable money bags in that city, how much his phone is worth, his car, how much he used to furnish his apartment.

Another told me how the guy just told her straight up that after the date, they should go to his apartment to fvck. Before that, he showed her pictures of him and his 'goons'. Bunch of weed-smoking-marlian-wannabe-junkies
Funny thing is that they met in church. I couldn't hold my laughter that day

CheedyJ:
Who date epp?if you can’t come to my house then dey ur dey...

My brother....

noble2faith:


Like seriously?

Maybe unseen forces of darkness escorted you to the date.

Lol.. nah...

Nothing as bad as we just met and getting along then I sense we might end up at my place and I decide to get something we can unwind with along the line(Liquor,coke,Juice, snacks etc)in a Supermarket then you start picking things like bodyspray and asking "If it's okay"?!
Warning sign for me to give you miles,You will be excessive and uncontrollable.

bmdmix1:
stop lying no one is paying u to comment

Lol

How do you know it is a lie.

Some nairalanders are billionaires o

haahha I am practically the worst in this category lolz LET ME TITLE THE EPISTLES OF MY HELPLESS ROMANCE BACK THEN i say back then cos i like to stay off the dating for now, just got to focus on making a life for myself right now, no woman headache for me. oya lets dive in.

1. COMING LATE
This was my year in predegree, there was this girl called angela, fine beautiful girl, i am sort of an introvert like you should guess already but anyhow i manage to pull the trick off and she was excited about the date , what they don't know is i live with my pops and moms back then lolz and omoh it was as if devil was working hand in hand with them to frustrate me. I did all my job sharp sharp and planned the perfect excuse to go on this date but just as i was about to step out , a garage of messages and short errands came and meh the whole thing fell through waiting funny me was that i even pass the eatery to go drop off something at my uncle for my dad .
by the time i was done with running upandan for messages i was sweating like a Carribean she goat about to be roasted, i was smelling funny and looking crazy exhausted. i was so ashamed i freaked out and didn't call .
Oh well she didn't even bother call or talk to me ever again.
me nor bold look her for face again.


2.My second date was in my year three in school and i managed to talk with a girl who i had a huge crush on in my department on a date and she said yes , stilling dealing with introvercy i praticed even went on line to check how to converse , make jokes and act cool and all on a date.
waitin happen for the final day was as terrible as me not showing up.
she came and we sat and i came repeating how well dressed and hot she looked that i blacked out, all the practice and nonsense i have been doing lol totally forgotten.
i cor dey repeat questions upandan like police detective and as if that was not enough one guy joined us at our table cos the place was now crowded and omoh see as the guy was rapping talks with the babe i brought for a date making her laugh and blush and i sat there like an idol battling between murderous thoughts towards the guy or towards me.
las las as the guy eat comot an so the babe take pick her bag waka comot. that week i got it hard from my friends cos she told her friends who told my friends. i was embarrassed to the core.

3.That same year, i went on another date and this time i took my bestie along, a party date if you want to call to cut the long story it didn't end well once my friend got an emergency call and had to leave, i came short of what to say and started telling her about space and time , future geek related stuff , thankfully she was more matured to just let me know i may be better off with someone else.

4. My last experience was the reverse of my first, she was my course mate and she stood me up on a date, i waited for hours for girl to show up but she never did.
she kept telling she is on her way and till today Faith did not tell me which way she was on. i got so angry and ordered food and ate to my heart content and went home. deleted her number and blocked her.
she didn't even offer to explain anything the following week and that was it.

meh i pity introverts sometimes shall, las las i still have been through two beautiful relationships i am proud of but for now my ex is the money i can make and my gf is the money i am making.

After the date and seeing her off, I forgot her name....

I am not in love...

WriterX:
haahha I am practically the worst in this category lolz LET ME TITLE THE EPISTLES OF MY HELPLESS ROMANCE BACK THEN i say back then cos i like to stay off the dating for now, just got to focus on making a life for myself right now, no woman headache for me. oya lets dive in.

1. COMING LATE
This was my year in predegree, there was this girl called angela, fine beautiful girl, i am sort of an introvert like you should guess already but anyhow i manage to pull the trick off and she was excited about the date , what they don't know is i live with my pops and moms back then lolz and omoh it was as if devil was working hand in hand with them to frustrate me. I did all my job sharp sharp and planned the perfect excuse to go on this date but just as i was about to step out , a garage of messages and short errands came and meh the whole thing fell through waiting funny me was that i even pass the eatery to go drop off something at my uncle for my dad .
by the time i was done with running upandan for messages i was sweating like a Carribean she goat about to be roasted, i was smelling funny and looking crazy exhausted. i was so ashamed i freaked out and didn't call .
Oh well she didn't even bother call or talk to me ever again.
me nor bold look her for face again.


2.My second date was in my year three in school and i managed to talk with a girl who i had a huge crush on in my department on a date and she said yes , stilling dealing with introvercy i praticed even went on line to check how to converse , make jokes and act cool and all on a date.
waitin happen for the final day was as terrible as me not showing up.
she came and we sat and i came repeating how well dressed and hot she looked that i blacked out, all the practice and nonsense i have been doing lol totally forgotten.
i cor dey repeat questions upandan like police detective and as if that was not enough one guy joined us at our table cos the place was now crowded and omoh see as the guy was rapping talks with the babe i brought for a date making her laugh and blush and i sat there like an idol battling between murderous thoughts towards the guy or towards me.
las las as the guy eat comot an so the babe take pick her bag waka comot. that week i got it hard from my friends cos she told her friends who told my friends. i was embarrassed to the core.

3.That same year, i went on another date and this time i took my bestie along, a party date if you want to call to cut the long story it didn't end well once my friend got an emergency call and had to leave, i came short of what to say and started telling her about space and time , future geek related stuff , thankfully she was more matured to just let me know i may be better off with someone else.

4. My last experience was the reverse of my first, she was my course mate and she stood me up on a date, i waited for hours for girl to show up but she never did.
she kept telling she is on her way and till today Faith did not tell me which way she was on. i got so angry and ordered food and ate to my heart content and went home. deleted her number and blocked her.
she didn't even offer to explain anything the following week and that was it.

meh i pity introverts sometimes shall, las las i still have been through two beautiful relationships i am proud of but for now my ex is the money i can make and my gf is the money i am making.

LMAOO. Like WTF.

Am also an introvert.....the trick is that I try to do a little research on the girl and know what interests her, it helps with the conversation....once you're able to know what interests her, use it as a conversation starter then just let her keep talking, nodding your head, ensuring eye contact and saying something funny or deep in between... If her interests doesn't interest you there's really no solution to it, don't beg it, don't force it.

Please, comment should be brief for easier reading. Thanks for your understanding.

Romanoff:
We were matched by friends we had in common.

Dude just wanted to see me based on pictures he saw and several chats we had.

He picked a day, I agreed. On that day I was so broke, not even bike fare to go out and mumsie no dey for me to ask.

The guy suggested an eatery, I said we should go on a stroll instead (as a rule, I no dey go on date if I no get my Tfare or money for food wey I go order, I hate see finish).

Guy came for the stroll at my bus stop. I met him there and we strolled to two bus stops ahead of mine, talking and getting to know each other. When it was time to go, dude said he will put me on bike so I don't have to walk back alone, I told him not to worry, that I'd walk (as I know say I no get Tfare).

This guy no gree o, was insisting. I said he should not worry. After the back and forth, this guy looked at me and said "ah, you don't have bike fare, why didn't you say so"? I now said I have bike fare, I just want to walk home. For bus stop, oga begin shout "where's the money, you must show me the money".

I just left him there and jogged home. Got home and narrated the gist to my mum and sisters, they laughed hard and the guy earned the name "show me the money".

That's how it didn't exceed the first date o.

May his soul rest in peace cause he's late now.

I know one idiot wey fit do that kind thing....


Me (but i still dey alive tho)

Fix date with bae, at appointment time. I come roll out with smiles and my Burna boy music ... on the low,but this time I am on the high.


I reached bus stop,come see bae with one yeye guy like that.

Bae come enter front,the guy enter back.... come start to dey give me instructions on where to take them.

Me I jejely enter ATM, cash out fresh note.

Enter eatery ... guy come order pass me and my bae. I clear all bill, by the time I enter next street .

I come ask bae, where are you guys going ?

Bae ask guy, where are you going

Next junction....... guy dropped ..... bae drop.


Dem come forget, Room key,pizza and ice cream inside my car..... hallelujah......



I still never pick dem call

AsherAmari:
This was a long time ago

I waited inside the eatery for him. When he came we ordered for snacks and the next thing this guy held my hands across the table and began to scabbash aloud. Lol.... The guys sitting around us began staring at us. This man didn't want to end the prayers o. Hmm....
Anyways that was the first and last time I ever saw or went out with him.

Please o, what's scabbash??

I won't call it my worst date rather a shocking date.

I budgeted 10k for the date then babe ordered popcorn way get plenty milk and just Fanta which made me order same too, we talked for hours non stop. I forced her to collect meat pie while we were leaving. I actually learnt a lot that day.

ringi82:

Please o, what's scabbash??

:

Kept me waiting for over 30 minutes and when he appeared, I acted so cool even tho I was boiling inside.

We sha gisted and had a good time but I knew the date would end there. Yea it did. I hate being made to look stupid

Dont let me say it...I was in 200level then, just starting to form big boy with game

SanctifiedSista:
My worst date wld be when
1. Uncle came late
2. He was extremely thin
3. Very touchy
4. Kept talking abt himself
That was the first and last

The holyspirit did not minister to you to give him a second chance like Jesus gave to you?

I bring dis babe Lovette na her name come my cabal I no knw say na thief she b, Omo dis babe move my new Tecno F1 wey never reach 3 weeks wey I obtain am. I try calling her she block my number... na her two number b dis
0812 182 8607, 0812 458 8375 and pix na PH d tin happen

15ssDRIVE:
Fix date with bae, at appointment time. I come roll out with smiles and my Burna boy music ... on the low,but this time I am on the high.


I reached bus stop,come see bae with one yeye guy like that.

Bae come enter front,the guy enter back.... come start to dey give me instructions on where to take them.

Me I jejely enter ATM, cash out fresh note.

Enter eatery ... guy come order pass me and my bae. I clear all bill, by the time I enter next street .

I come ask bae, where are you guys going ?

Bae ask guy, where are you going

Next junction....... guy dropped ..... bae drop.


Dem come forget, Room key,pizza and ice cream inside my car..... hallelujah......



I still never pick dem call

God save you

The babe agreed to come to my place
She noticed quickly how shy I was maybe she just want to make me more confident or I don't just understand. Babe later told me to kiss her omo chubby girls no dey shame on first date. Na hin mi go dey do like omo ase. The babe just smile tell me say she don dey go omo E pain me DAT day.the babe later use am abuse me but jokingly. Thou its was my first time then.
But now I'm zinibanks pro max moo tii bed gan

So even as this country is in Chaos(Kidnappings Bandit killing BH and all sorts of evil pointing to the end time some peeps still get space to do dating shi) well hope evil won't caught up with y'all when least expected.

Romanoff:
We were matched by friends we had in common.

Dude just wanted to see me based on pictures he saw and several chats we had.

He picked a day, I agreed. On that day I was so broke, not even bike fare to go out and mumsie no dey for me to ask.

The guy suggested an eatery, I said we should go on a stroll instead (as a rule, I no dey go on date if I no get my Tfare or money for food wey I go order, I hate see finish).

Guy came for the stroll at my bus stop. I met him there and we strolled to two bus stops ahead of mine, talking and getting to know each other. When it was time to go, dude said he will put me on bike so I don't have to walk back alone, I told him not to worry, that I'd walk (as I know say I no get Tfare).

This guy no gree o, was insisting. I said he should not worry. After the back and forth, this guy looked at me and said "ah, you don't have bike fare, why didn't you say so"? I now said I have bike fare, I just want to walk home. For bus stop, oga begin shout "where's the money, you must show me the money".

I just left him there and jogged home. Got home and narrated the gist to my mum and sisters, they laughed hard and the guy earned the name "show me the money".

That's how it didn't exceed the first date o.

May his soul rest in peace cause he's late now.

Your family must have a lot of comedy. I couldn't help but laugh at the christening.

/
Don't profess love until you meet in person.

Phone filter is a dangerous tool.

/

DemonInvoker:
Nothing as bad as we just met and getting along then I sense we might end up at my place and I decide to get something we can unwind with along the line(Liquor,coke,Juice, snacks etc)in a Supermarket then you start picking things like bodyspray and asking "If it's okay"?!
Warning sign for me to give you miles,You will be excessive and uncontrollable.

15ssDRIVE:
Fix date with bae, at appointment time. I come roll out with smiles and my Burna boy music ... on the low,but this time I am on the high.


I reached bus stop,come see bae with one yeye guy like that.

Bae come enter front,the guy enter back.... come start to dey give me instructions on where to take them.

Me I jejely enter ATM, cash out fresh note.

Enter eatery ... guy come order pass me and my bae. I clear all bill, by the time I enter next street .

I come ask bae, where are you guys going ?

Bae ask guy, where are you going

Next junction....... guy dropped ..... bae drop.


Dem come forget, Room key,pizza and ice cream inside my car..... hallelujah......



I still never pick dem call

Seriously, she get mind sha o

Skullano:
I won't call it my worst date rather a shocking date.

I budgeted 10k for the date then babe ordered popcorn way get plenty milk and just Fanta which made me order same too, we talked for hours non stop. I forced her to collect meat pie while we were leaving. I actually learnt a lot that day.

Na seminar you go sir not date pls

Only God know how many dates I don go when I was a simp!

Took this girl on a date beginning of this year...we were vibing until I saw she refused to eat the chicken,maybe she was shy of eating it with her hand or something

Me that borrowed money from my brother,I carried the chicken from her plate and started disecting it,naso she start to dey vex dey shout on top my head make people dey look us
God save her my mama raise me well and I don chop her chicken,she for don pay for her food

No bad dates bt I was once learning how to drive a manual drive car turbo engines and I went to pick babygal. I had problems changing the gears smoothly, in fact the car stopped a few times embarrassing lolz yeah so she noticed and was like Ure still learning. We went to the cinema to watch fast and the furious 2 I think and that was where and when it hit me my gear changing skills came from nowhere, clutch and all errors were perfected from that movie. I drove her back home like Louis Hamilton . She noticed I got the gears so right and at top speed that nite and was like what has this movie done to u??

Since then I drive manual cars pretty easy.