@ Topic
Don't underestimate the power of DENIAL as a defense mechanism.

These parents don't want to believe they raised monsters, they don't want to believe their cute little towhead son, whose smile lit up the room, grew up to be the devil's incarnate. . . I mean that's a major blow to their hearts, so they remain in a state of denial and continue to profess their children's innocence in spite of the evidence against them. These people would rather be thought of as foolish. . . crazy even than parents of blood thirsty monsters.

Outstrip:

Not my mother. I remember as a child anybody could walk into that home and say anything about us and my mom will believe it. I really hated that. Everybody else seemed to only have good things to say about us but my mother was always critical. It made me who I am today though. I hate to make excuses for myself till today. If I fail at something I take steps to fix it. The example you gave is so extreme though. I think you have to be mentally unstable to defend such

Outstrip we have the same mother! This describes my parents exactly. Especially since I'm the eldest child. My parents punished me when they didn't know which child was responsible for something, because they would tell me that as the oldest I should have faced the responsibility and fixed the situation before it got to their ears. My parents 'believed' everyone, church members, teachers, and even neighbors, and it taught us to think twice about even being around people who are doing bad things. When we actually did something wrong, we knew to take full responsibility, and not whine about "It was a setup," or "The teacher just doesn't like me," because we knew that our parents woudn't believe us, and making excuses would make the punishment even worse.

Sisi_Kill:

@ Topic
Don't underestimate the power of DENIAL as a defense mechanism.

These parents don't want to believe they raised monsters, they don't want to believe their cute little towhead son, whose smile lit up the room, grew up to be the devil's incarnate. . . I mean that's a major blow to their hearts, so they remain in a state of denial and continue to profess their children's innocence in spite of the evidence against them. These people would rather be thought of as foolish. . . crazy even than parents of blood thirsty monsters.

True!

This is a very simple matter. The philosophy that a Parent should always defend his/her children is ABSOLUTELY WRONG. Any parent that does this is basically going to raise a dysfunctional child. A parent should defend his/her children when they are right and let them know in words and actions when they are wrong.

@Topic
I was always one of those children that never misbehaved in public. As a child, I knew better than to cause waves in the tight ship my Mom ran. Strict, disciplinarian, you never want an adult to tell my mother that you misbehaved. You better start crying before reaching home that night cause you know you will very well get it.

Individuals are good and bad -- some more bad than good. I believe in people taking personal responsibility for their actions. When you do something you are not supposed to do, better get ready to face the music. If a child is old enough to know the difference between right and wrong, a parent should not stand in the way of proper punishment -- even if the parent has to be present as a sign of support for the child in a criminal case.

As for how tough I will be on my child, it depends his temperament. For children who want to play hard ball, the parent(s) should be ready to kick them back in place as often as necessary. It is a job of a parent to discipline the child. It is a disservice for a parent to defend bad behavior.