The fact is this, we africans don't get married for just the sake of love and companionship. We get married to raise families strictly. Howard Webb (48) got married to his wife (42), tell me which African man will do this. Theresa May former PM of the UK is still married to her husband Philip despite being confirmed to be unable to conceive. We africans don't marry cos of emotional support, intimacy and connection, na just to born pikin. After the woman don born finish, no more love, na to start to call each other mama Tunde and papa Tunde

I can totally relate..last year by this time I was in the same shoes for a marriage less than 6 month old .. started getting pressures from my sisters in law, my brother in law who was living with me , even my mom I became prayer point.. anytime I meet with my husband it was only for the sole purpose of procreation instead of enjoying ourselves first.. I will meet with my husband at least 2 times a day for a straight one week of my ovulation (days before n after).. hence it causes me waist pain n all. I avoided social media esp WhatsApp because of questions from friends who make comments like ' by now you should be heavily pregnant o ' bla bla. I hated myself anytime I see my monthly flow but thank God it's now history.i can only imagine those who are waiting for more than 3 years upward.. If u are able to read this my comment pls never u whether u are joking or not ask a couple abt their fertility status few weeks, months or years after wedding infact never ever ... keep ur curiosity to yourself..

saphiere:
Don't live to please the society.



The FUTURE is FEMALE

when this future u keep saying is female has so many females, na d males weh remain go become scarce commodity o! na 10 wives I go carry when d time come. The future is female for certain o!

This long article is irrelevant to me, as i ve aready had six kids from 4 different women.

Maybe the article would be relevant to the guy below me.

takimsipho:
The fact is this, we africans don't get married for just the sake of love and companionship. We get married to raise families strictly. Howard Webb (48) got married to his wife (42), tell me which African man will do this. Theresa May former PM of the UK is still married to her husband Philip despite being confirmed to be unable to conceive. We africans don't marry cos of emotional support, intimacy and connection, na just to born pikin. After the woman don born finish, no more love, na to start to call each other mama Tunde and papa Tunde

true talk

may God answer us (me & wify) soonest. may we never end this year without our Twins being delivered unto us. Amen..

thank God for blessing me with a child, I remember how people monitored my wife for a year plus, but thank God for not shaming us

saphiere:
Don't live to please the society.



The FUTURE is FEMALE

ok

Calitoscassius:
This long article is irrelevant to me, as i ve aready had six kids from 4 different women.

Maybe the article would be relevant to the guy below me.

i'm on my sixth babymama

Is this just an African or Nigerian thing?

Liposure:
i'm on my sixth babymama

Good! I am behind i will catch up with you soon.

MIMOSAXY:
May Almighty Allah make it easy for everyone trying to conceive

Aameen ya Allah

When unu go get belle........

The one wey dey taya me na who don born one pikin before, u go dey here yen yen yen....this pikin don reach to senior another one o. When unu go born another one?
Yeye people everywhere

johncallidon:
may God answer us (me & wify) soonest.
may we never end this year without our Twins being delivered unto us. Amen..

Amen n Amen ..

saphiere:
Am I child giver?

You have given the right response.

If what that guy posted is what you really said about your past, it is impressive that you can share it so freely.

Don't mind him mocking you:
he may be responsible for abortions himself or making a woman a mocked person due to single motherhood in Nigeria.

Hopefully other ladies will learn from you.

GboyegaD:
Blame the husband. He has the right to protect his family from externalities and whoever tried that with them should be cut off.

Cutting them off is a little extreme.

Besides, this is a Nigerian problem that starts the moment a lady gets to 25. They plague her with "when will you get married", they conclude she's bad that's why it has not happened. There's a lot of pressure.

So if she gets married and can't get pregnant it's even more pressure, because children are the ultimate in the setup. Pressure, pressure, pressure.

I've always wondered how couples who finally have children after 15 or 20 years coped. Must be hell on Earth for them, especially with other people flaunting their children.

If only alternate conception methods were not seen as bad things...

Even though I n hubby was not really concerned about womb watchers d fact still remains dat were trying n it wasn't clicking. In d fourth month we even had to visit d doctor n he told us until after one year of trying without result can any case of infertility be established.


We were given some medications that cost almost nothing then I d woman was asked to do hormonal imbalance test n my hubby was to do that of sperm count.


My hubby had done his but I will have to wait till immediately after my next cycle to run mine. My people na day fifth month d thing click. I didn't have to run mine again till today



Womb watchers can make u feel like 5 months is 500 months Sha. N d mind self may be as Africans as we are follow worsen d matter. Ur mind go dey tell u plenty things.

honestly e no dey easy for couples without children, but God dey

Couples who do not advertise their lives to strangers on the internet, do not have these issues and we are perplexed.

Very good and sensitive piece. appreciate u OP

Na so our people dey o, dem no dey mind dier business. From the time dey notice you and the woman dey parole dem go don dey watch. Even when you do intro/engagement and wedding, dem ge dey watch even if dem no dey close enough o ask you.

It's all because our culture celebrate children in marriages but it can be very serious if you are at the receiving end.

May God bless all marriages with wonderful children (That is for those who choose to have children).

BruncleZuma:
Couples who do not advertise their lives to strangers on the internet, do not have these issues and we are perplexed.

Whether you advertise or not ooo.. what of neighbours, in-laws or friends around u who are offline

Slimsly100:
When unu go get belle........

The one wey dey taya me na who don born one pikin before, u go dey here yen yen yen....this pikin don reach to senior another one o. When unu go born another one?
Yeye people everywhere

Years back due to situation of things after wedding... l and hubby decided to space our 2nd born..so for over 3 years we didn't have another baby... that was how one of my friends sister told me point blank that she she would get agbo for my hubby that she feels he can't perform perfectly... infact l was short of words.
Despite the fact that it was a mutual decision bet hubby n l ...l felt very bad n insulted.If it was to be a natural delay ...l don't know how sad it could have caused me that day.Some people don't have manners at all..even if you wanted to ask or comment on things like that it must be done with wisdom so that the person involved won't be offended..Why should you even ask?My prayers goes to people looking for the fruit of the womb that as the lord put a new song into Hannah's mouth...so shall He put to your's in no time IJN AMEN.

takimsipho:
The fact is this, we africans don't get married for just the sake of love and companionship. We get married to raise families strictly. Howard Webb (48) got married to his wife (42), tell me which African man will do this. Theresa May former PM of the UK is still married to her husband Philip despite being confirmed to be unable to conceive. We africans don't marry cos of emotional support, intimacy and connection, na just to born pikin. After the woman don born finish, no more love, na to start to call each other mama Tunde and papa Tunde

The mama Tunde and pap Tunde thing can be very annoying. That alone is enough to kill the love between husband and wife.

Iwantpeace:
I can totally relate..last year by this time I was in the same shoes for a marriage less than 6 month old .. started getting pressures from my sisters in law, my brother in law who was living with me , even my mom I became prayer point.. anytime I meet with my husband it was only for the sole purpose of procreation instead of enjoying ourselves first.. I will meet with my husband at least 2 times a day for a straight one week of my ovulation (days before n after).. hence it causes me waist pain n all. I avoided social media esp WhatsApp because of questions from friends who make comments like ' by now you should be heavily pregnant o ' bla bla. I hated myself anytime I see my monthly flow but thank God it's now history.i can only imagine those who are waiting for more than 3 years upward.. If u are able to read this my comment pls never u whether u are joking or not ask a couple abt their fertility status few weeks, months or years after wedding infact never ever ... keep ur curiosity to yourself..

They won't stop asking. A friend of man's who's barley one year into marriage was lamenting to me how everyone keeps asking her what's keeping them from getting pregnant. She has started frequenting the hospital and having sleepless nights. I didn't even know how to advice her to stay calm. Because she didn't seem to be listening to me. The only thing I told her was that if since you are sure she and her husband are medically healthy, she should calm down and relax her mind so that she can take in.

MISSCONGENIALITY:
They won't stop asking. A friend of man's who's barley one year into marriage was lamenting to me how everyone keeps asking her what's keeping them from getting pregnant. She has started frequenting the hospital and having sleepless nights. I didn't even know how to advice her to stay calm. Because she didn't seem to be listening to me. The only thing I told her was that if since you are sure she and her husband are medically healthy, she should calm down and relax her mind so that she can take in.

Anxiety too contribute to it .The best thing is to stay calm, have a strong mind against naysayers and most importantly put your trust in God Almighty.. one thing that episode thought me is that people must talk in this world no matter what you do or don't do .. just be yourself and be happy and forget about people.. every situation no matter how ugly it is will pass away

Iwantpeace:

Anxiety too contribute to it .The best thing is to stay calm, have a strong mind against naysayers and most importantly put your trust in God Almighty.. one thing that episode thought me is that people must talk in this world no matter what you do or don't do .. just be yourself and be happy and forget about people.. every situation no matter how ugly it is will pass away

people must talk o. The moment we understand that no matter what we do, people must talk, we will stop bothering about what people say about us anymore. Give birth few months after marriage, they will ay you used the pregnancy to tie the man. Wait for sometime after marriage, they will say the babe aborted all her babies. They don't even know if the couple want to settle somethings before bearing children.

A number of Nigerians are not only womb watchers, but people watchers. They live their far from perfect lives and hound others who are minding their own business. A woman who is not married, mocking a newly married one fornot having kids. A housegirl mocking the very educated neighbor who probably lost her job. A Mai guard mocking tenants for their inability to pay rent on time. Smh!!!