I did not plan to write a second part to the article I wrote last Sunday (WHEN YOU WANT A WOMAN AND SHE DOESN’T WANT YOU). But I woke up this morning and heard a disturbing news of the rape of a year one student by her lecturer/HOD after having harassed her severally in the Rivers State College of Health. I don’t know the veracity of the allegation. But I know for sure that sexual harassment is real and prevalent in institutions of higher learning in this part of the world. That’s the inspiration for this second part of the article.

Let me tell you a little story before I go ahead, a true story. When I was a Class Rep in Uniport, a lecturer of ours called me one Sunday afternoon to come help him tidy his office with some of my friends. I called two of my close friends and they accompanied me. Part of the work we did was to arrange heaps of scripts (of exams written several years back) that were littered around in his office. So while we were doing the arrangement, as intellectually curious persons we flipped through some of the scripts to read what the students wrote. On one of the scripts, the student (a female) couldn’t write anything; but at the back of the script she wrote her phone number and also wrote “Sir call me I am ready.” We marveled when we saw that.

Having interacted closely with lecturers (as a Class Rep) back then in school, I know for sure that there are some female students who would go to a lecturer by themselves for ‘exchange of interests’ (sex for grades). Or sometimes not even because they want unmerited grades, but because they just like the lecturer (either because the lecturer is a handsome man or he’s a big guy, or whatever reason). Plenty of girls in school are oriented mostly towards fashion and fun and pleasure, and are fond of gallivanting around with fine boys and sugar daddies; so they don’t have the commitment and the time to sit down and read books. And so at the period of exams they would go to lecturers (by themselves) to seek academic favour, to seek ‘exchange of interests’ with the lecturers. There are plenty of such girls. And I would say to any lecturer that would want sexual pleasure from his female students; why not focus only on those ones that would come to you by themselves, and allow the uninterested ones to have their peace! If you desire anyone among those ones who would not come to you; there are two primary factors that motivate human actions: FEAR OF PAIN or HOPE OF GAIN. Do not use the former to intimidate her, but instead use the latter cajole her; and if she declines, please leave her and respect yourself and let her have her peace. And do not victimize her for declining, rather show maturity and magnanimity to her. It’s very embarrassing if small girls are reporting you to their parents and relations and friends and pastors because you are harassing them for sex. Some of such girls would even be giving your name to their pastors and churches and prayer groups as a prayer point because you are harassing them for sex. Such a thing can be very embarrassing and very bad for any lecturer’s reputation.

I posted the part A of this article on many platforms and it generated different kinds of comments. Some persons hailed the article, some criticized it while some persons also insulted me, and it’s all fine. I love to write, but I hardly have the time for writing. But anytime I do, I express my views sincerely and it’s fine whether you agree or disagree with whatever views I express at any point in time. And I deeply appreciate you for having the patience to read what I write, it’s not easy to read through lengthy articles such as mine, I sincerely appreciate.
Some of the persons who criticized the part A of this article said I was encouraging fornication and premarital sex (I just hope such persons are saints or virgins, or were virgins before their marriage or would remain virgins till their marriage). Such persons either did read the article through to the end (which is why I urged you to please read this one to the end), or they refused to see the good points in the article. By the way, I am neither a saint nor a gospel preacher. I am a liberal, I align myself with liberalism and as such I believe that human beings are at liberty to do everything that does not harm other human beings. The desire or quest for sex is part of human nature, it is natural, and so it is not wrong. But sex by force is totally wrong and unnecessary. The point of my article is a message against rape and against too much pressure for sex. It is a message for self-control, self-restraint and self-respect in the sense that when you want a woman and she doesn’t want you, leave her and respect yourself.
Thanks for reading this article.
Kingsley Onwuka,
Port Harcourt, Nigeria