Mikester:
I came across this thread on front page this morning https://www.nairaland.com/6588135/should-follow-mother's-advice where a lady sought advice on the type of man she should consider for marriage due to her uncertainty on an advice she got from her mother.

The thread got a lot of comments and a lot of guys and maybe some ladies lacerated her based on her will to consider a rich man over a struggling one. Though she didn't pass her message well due to her unabashed display of derogatory statements she made pertaining to her mother and her line of thought.

My mind also didn't agree with a lot of people in that thread thus I decide to bring my questions here. Please educate me as my brain is open like a thirty sponge about to receive some wathering.

My questions are these;

Was it wrong for her to consider a rich man over a struggling one even when she herself isn't reasonably rich as well? If yes why is it so?

Was her mother's advice sound and is it logical or not?

How often do women who remain with struggling men eventually end up with them later when they turn rich? Do you know any woman like that?

What would a woman be doing precisely if she chooses to struggle alongside a struggling guy?

Should a struggling guy be with a woman in the first place?

Should a woman be compelled to carry the mantle of a provider as well in the home? If she does, is she to still accord total respect and submission to her husband?

Please judge these questions according to your wisdom and give your replies. Thank you.

advanceDNA:


1) she can consider anyone that comes her way...women love comfort and money provides it... any woman will be tempted to consider

advanceDNA:
2) mother can advice based on experience or intuition..but it’s left for the lady to follow her heart.. if her heart is after money..no wahala..

advanceDNA:
3)I don’t have statistics for this question... but all around me..I see couples that started of poor and are now together when the man is rich..

You've just lied

[quote author=advanceDNA post=102499420]4) this one is funny...many women consider struggling...as allowing u to have sex when u can’t afford to buy them iphone 12 and 300k wig....
struggling with a man means support..
encouraging him emotionally, cheering him not to give up, drop cash to cook stew even when he has....
offer him cash when he doesn’t have or is broke.
..but u know women naaa....their slogan is still the same: “my money is my own, his money is our money”...

advanceDNA:
5) a struggling guy is not a human being...he doesn’t have the right to love or be loved in return....shòní orí é tí dàrù niiii....

advanceDNA:
6) a woman should not be compelled to do anything...if she has sense.. she should enter a marriage with a team mentality and not a prostitute mind set....team members help each other...any woman that doesn’t understand this basic rule should buy a d!ldo and live alone ...

If she does carry some responsibility...she doesn’t have to respect her husband again naaa...since being responsible means she has to be stupid and rude to her husband.

Mikester:


Everyone loves comfort if you don't mind and women do need comfort as they weren't made to endure hardship. It is a man's world and women depend on men in one way or the other thereby they go for the able ones.



What if it's not? What if she's trying to secure her future and that of her children? What if she's with child later? How will she handle the stress in poverty?

advanceDNA:


I ddnt know u a JAMB examiner....u even said I was lying...I don’t know what u are feeling like...
It’s like personal opinion doesn’t exist in your dictionary

Mikester:


Sorry if I hurt your feelings...

advanceDNA:


U ddnt hurt my feelings...it’s just funny how u asked for opinion and u the lawyer, the judge and executioner all at once

Mikester:
I came across this thread on front page this morning https://www.nairaland.com/6588135/should-follow-mother's-advice where a lady sought advice on the type of man she should consider for marriage due to her uncertainty on an advice she got from her mother.

The thread got a lot of comments and a lot of guys and maybe some ladies lacerated her based on her will to consider a rich man over a struggling one. Though she didn't pass her message well due to her unabashed display of derogatory statements she made pertaining to her mother and her line of thought.

My mind also didn't agree with a lot of people in that thread thus I decided to bring my questions here. Please educate me.

My questions are these;

Was it wrong for her to consider a rich man over a struggling one even when she herself isn't reasonably rich as well? If yes why is it so?

Was her mother's advice sound and was it logical or not?

How often do women who remain with struggling men eventually end up with them later when they turn rich? Do you know any woman like that?

What would a woman be doing precisely if she chooses to struggle alongside a struggling guy?

Should a struggling guy be with a woman in the first place?

Should a woman be compelled to carry the mantle of a provider as well in the home? If she does, is she to still accord total respect and submission to her husband?

Please judge these questions according to your wisdom and give your replies. Thank you.

Cc
Lilpen3758
NeeKlaus
erinatso
Divoc19
emorse
mrblessed
emmaodet
Ninejaywon
Bola146
Kobicove
luminouz
Amotolongbo

And finally omolola100.

Please do come and help me out on this

AeroplaneApple:
It's a life of choices. Either you choose a struggling man or settle with a rich man, know that the future is always changing. What happens when the rich man happen not to be doing so well again?

https://www.nairaland.com/6592021/80000-naira-loan

Kobicove:



1) Personally I do not think it is wrong for a lady to consider a financially stable guy over a guy who is struggling but the condition is that you must also be ready to bring something of value to the Union not just liabilities

2) Her mother's advice is in order. Every mother looks out for the best interest of her child

3) There is no guaranty that a struggling guy will eventually become wealthy. It's all just a gamble

4) Whether a lady marries a struggling or rich guy she must be ready to contribute some value and not just be there as a passenger'

5) In my opinion if you're still struggling financially as a guy it's best for you to try and sort out your finances to a reasonable extent before you think of adding additional burden by committing to a lady on a permanent basis.

People should stop deceiving themselves - Love alone will not pay your house rent or buy baby food or pay your children's schools fees!

Mikester:


I agree with you a lot in these replies. Really I do but what value exactly do you think the woman should bring? Is it money, sex, what exactly?

Mikester:
I came across this thread on front page this morning https://www.nairaland.com/6588135/should-follow-mother's-advice where a lady sought advice on the type of man she should consider for marriage due to her uncertainty on an advice she got from her mother.

Please educate me.

My questions are these;

Was it wrong for her to consider a rich man over a struggling one even when she herself isn't reasonably rich as well? If yes why is it so?

Was her mother's advice sound and was it logical or not?

How often do women who remain with struggling men eventually end up with them later when they turn rich? Do you know any woman like that?

What would a woman be doing precisely if she chooses to struggle alongside a struggling guy?

Should a struggling guy be with a woman in the first place?

Should a woman be compelled to carry the mantle of a provider as well in the home? If she does, is she to still accord total respect and submission to her husband?

Please judge these questions according to your wisdom and give your replies. Thank you.

Please do come and help me out on this

Mikester:
I came across this thread on front page this morning https://www.nairaland.com/6588135/should-follow-mother's-advice where a lady sought advice on the type of man she should consider for marriage due to her uncertainty on an advice she got from her mother...

emorse:

I'll share as much as I can with as few words as possible.

Firstly, real life in most cases isn't as portrayed in the movies. In Nollywood especially, a poor slave girl/boy meets a rich prince/princess, they fall in love, get married and live happily ever after. In real life however, the rich marry the rich while the poor are left to marry one another. This negates the scientific law of attraction but it is what it is.

The lady whose post you quoted sounded like she needed to marry a rich man so as to escape poverty. Though she didn't outrightly state it. That, in my opinion is an unrealistic aspiration. An effect of the excessive consumption of nollywood materials.

This is not to say that aspiring to marry a rich man/woman is a bad thing. Not at all. But the odds that a poor man/woman would attract a rich woman/man is pretty low. So to actualise that sort of dream, the person in question needs to find a way to become attractive to those kind of people. Which simply means, he/she needs to raise his/her economic standing first.

emmaodet:



Was it wrong for her to consider a rich man over a struggling one even when she herself isn't reasonably rich as well? - For me i will say No, it is wrong for a poor lady to think of getting a rich man to a poor man. Why can't they stick to their level? Ladies running away from their counterparts will distort marriage because a lot of people are poor and if their fellow ladies are avoiding them, there will be chaos in the society. The high rape cases, paedophiles, masturbation etc is as a result of these but since it is happening to men, no one cares.

Was her mother's advice sound and was it logical or not? - Logical

How often do women who remain with struggling men eventually end up with them later when they turn rich? Do you know any woman like that? - Bro why the focus on Men? how often do men who struggle with a lady end up with her? some illiterate traders sponsored a lot of ladies to universities but got dumped after graduating citing not in the same level again, many bfs were dumped after their gfs left the country to a greener pasture like canada. It is a cruel world, this thing can go either way.

What would a woman be doing precisely if she chooses to struggle alongside a struggling guy? - Good question and i also have a question for you too. If a woman decides not to struggle with a man, what is the assurance she is going to make it on her own anyway? So to me, she is not doing the man any favour sticking with him, they are both poor and trying to plan and find a way out of it and i hope in that process, she is not unproductive and become a burden to the man, dragging him back as most do.

Should a struggling guy be with a woman in the first place? - why not? is the criteria for being with a woman is finace, then i believe most ladies will die lonely and poor too because if men are to use this yardstick too, it will be a monumental failure.

Should a woman be compelled to carry the mantle of a provider as well in the home? If she does, is she to still accord total respect and submission to her husband? - A person that is respectful, cultured and homely will be homely whether money or not. Most uncultured people just hide under being the provider for insulting and disrespecting their partners. Should men be disrespectful to their wives if they are the one running the home? a question again.

kingkoboko:
D gal that created that post didnt tell us d context of her mum's advice.

Wat do i mean by context?

Her mum may hv noticed that her daughter is too materialistic 2d point of missin out on d hardworkin promisin young suitors comin 4her hand.

Some gals will consider a young man wit a 100k per month job as struggling & broke. She wants a guy makin at least 500k per month who can buy her d latest iPhone + latest fashion items, not mindin his source of income.

That mst b why her mum was cautionin her 2calm down. Hehehe...

Wat if she marries that ready-made man & his biz or hustle crashes after 3yrs of marriage? She go carry her pikin japa leave her broke husband in search of a richer man outside?

We all know that women dont marry 4 luv, but at least try marry man wey u go fit stay wit weda money dey or e no dey because life is full of ups & downs.

*drops mic*

Lilpen3758:
Op me i no get time for big english
my question to omola abi what's her monicker self be say
" Suffer no dey tire you"??
you come from poverty wan go continue with a struggling man?? for this buhari regime??
how sure are you, you will end up with your struggling man if he makes it? how sure are you he will ever make it?
what will you tell your children if dey tell you " mummy we are hungry" and there is no food at home??
Abeg make una deh get sense everything no be love......

Your brain dey on fire bro. Luv your comment.

Mikester:


Thanks for your contribution but I beg to disagree with some of them. It doesn't really work the way you explained.

Pricelessruby:

Was it wrong for her to consider a rich man over a struggling one even when she herself isn't reasonably rich as well? If yes why is it so?

1. No it is not wrong to consider a rich man, it will ease her a lot of future problems, you can never know a man when is poor, when a man is poor he can be humble to a fault, and will take a lots of shits, and once he start having money, you start seeing the real him saying this based on experience

Was her mother's advice sound and was it logical or not?

2. Our mothers generation is quite different from ours, what works back then may not work now, cause people are kind of desperate now,

How often do women who remain with struggling men eventually end up with them later when they turn rich? Do you know any woman like that?

3. No I don't, when a man doesn't have money they settle for less, but once they start having money, their standard becomes high

What would a woman be doing precisely if she chooses to struggle alongside a struggling guy?

3. It depends, in my own case I give him money to start a poultry that almost wreck my business, for some it can be moral support and occasional money for food and recharge card.

Should a struggling guy be with a woman in the first place?

4. No

Should a woman be compelled to carry the mantle of a provider as well in the home? If she does, is she to still accord total respect and submission to her husband?
5. In Africa context, yes

Please judge these questions according to your wisdom and give your replies. Thank you.


Please do come and help me out on this

Mikester:


Your brain dey on fire bro. Luv your comment.

Mikester:


...and what happens if the poor man's poverty doesn't change? Isn't it better to cry in a jeep than to cry in your papa's village?

Lilpen3758:
hehehehehe dey don't know

I wonder o and how can the love between them even survive without money? People say love is all that matters but can they pay their bills with a hug especially in a country like Nigeria?

Mikester:


I wonder o and how can the love between them even survive without money? People say love is all that matters but can they pay their bills with a hug especially in a country like Nigeria?

emmaodet:


Uwc.
About your disagreement, do you care to explain? We all are here to learn. I am open to learning

Lilpen3758:
the woman self go dey frustrated
The love no go dey sweet both of them again

Mikester:


And such a home is a bad place for birthing children. Poverty is a disease to anyone. It is the poor man's poverty that will eventually kill him.