It's wrong for her to settle with a stable guy. What if the money vanishes tomorrow?

That's why I said he shouldn't be lazy and she has to bring something (intellect) to the union cos most girls today are too materialistic and forget that they also need to be mentally ready to face financial challenges in marriage.

And yes, I've seen many married people who started poor. Today they have built businesses

Mikester:
I came across this thread on front page this morning https://www.nairaland.com/6588135/should-follow-mother's-advice where a lady sought advice on the type of man she should consider for marriage due to her uncertainty on an advice she got from her mother.

The thread got a lot of comments and a lot of guys and maybe some ladies lacerated her based on her will to consider a rich man over a struggling one. Though she didn't pass her message well due to her unabashed display of derogatory statements she made pertaining to her mother and her line of thought.

My mind also didn't agree with a lot of people in that thread thus I decided to bring my questions here. Please educate me.

My questions are these;

Was it wrong for her to consider a rich man over a struggling one even when she herself isn't reasonably rich as well? If yes why is it so?

Was her mother's advice sound and was it logical or not?

How often do women who remain with struggling men eventually end up with them later when they turn rich? Do you know any woman like that?

What would a woman be doing precisely if she chooses to struggle alongside a struggling guy?

Should a struggling guy be with a woman in the first place?

Should a woman be compelled to carry the mantle of a provider as well in the home? If she does, is she to still accord total respect and submission to her husband?

Please judge these questions according to your wisdom and give your replies. Thank you.

Cc
Lilpen3758
NeeKlaus
erinatso
Divoc19
emorse
mrblessed
emmaodet
Ninejaywon
Bola146
Kobicove
luminouz
Amotolongbo

And finally omolola100.

Please do come and help me out on this

Mikester:


It do mean more than that especially for the feminine. A woman who is merely fair and gracious can attract the richest of men and get married more than a man of good looks towards a rich lady.

Just like grasses, love can grow in the strangest of places and anyone can fall in love with anyone just by virtue of breathing and this sort of love (agape love) is the love a man gives to a lady.

She can get a rich man if she is destined to or if she proves herself worthy to him which is not necessarily pecuniary. Don't know if you understand me...

Actually I do. But I think you're being more theoretical than practical.

OK, think of this. What are the odds that a poor girl will meet a rich man who would notice and fall in love with her? From available examples, it's quite low. Let me make a small list for you.

Abike Dabiri's daughter married Ibikunle Amosun's son

Buhari's daughter married Indimi's (a billionaire) son.

Fatima Dangote and Jamil Abubakar(Son of former I. G of police)

Damilola Osinbajo(daughter of v. p) and Oluseun Bakare(son of billionaire Bola Shagaya.

Fatima Ganduje and Abolaji Ajimobi(neither if those names need introduction)

Xerona Duke(daughter of Donald Duke) and Derin Phillips(aon of Plateau Philips, former commissioner of special duties in Lagos state)

The list is endless bro. The rich rarely entangle with the poor so seeing marriage as a way out of poverty is not very advisable. Hustle your way out first, then cement it with marriage if possible.

Mikester:


Hmm, thanks for your input sir but you might be a little mistaken with that her mother noticing her daughter is materialistic part. You never can tell. The girl might just be trying to secure her future and that of her children as every sensible person should. Who wants to knowingly birth a child to suffer?

Why u dey argue against urself by urself na?

Are u insinuatin that d mother that advised her daughter 2calm down & choose a man she can grow wit wants her own daughter 2suffer? Abi u dey try tell us sey no b her real mama she b? Nawa 4 una o!

Thanks

Mikester:


You really have a hold on these questions girl cause you just answered it really well and with an open mind, though some people may think otherwise. Your experiences making it more convincing is enough reason to close this thread as there is little actually left to say.

Humans are fickle and shouldn't be trusted. Struggling guys can leave the women who were with them for new women as it happens. We see such in our hood everyday.

There is no manual for these things. Just be yourself and the right people will come around you and if the people around you are low class, try to upgrade yourself.

Hope you found someone better though. It isn't easy.

I concord

Mikester:


Thanks for your contribution but I beg to disagree with some of them. It doesn't really work the way you explained.