Hello Folks,

Just thought i should share this, your imputs i will appreciate.

I have a wife who is willing to sacrifice her life to keep her friends, i mean fake friends,fake neighbours, fake people. Who go about slandering her, back bite and all stuffs and when i wade in she feels l am extremely unforgiven.

To cut the long story short, a very close ally tried scamming her, when i ran all checks and confronted the lady, she confessed to knowing it was a scam abinitio. I warned the lady to seize contacting her henceforth, To my surprise she started saying i should let her handle her, someone who was already salivating to ripping you off 800k. I find this weakness increasingly unbearable.

My thought pattern with people is very precise and direct.i don't care your relationship with me. If you fake, backbite, gossip, i cut you off, through my actions and deeds. No second chances.

Can her personality disorder (i choose to call it) be corrected through my aggressive correction pattern to help her build a strong character or should i simply let her do her stuff.

You didn't see this before marriage, did you?

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Just like I have said before:"they came crawling like snakes with masks, faking humility and always hiding their true nature so as to be welcomed by all... And when the time is set, they unpack their bags and show the environment with it can turn into. But the wise man always takes caution because he knows that all that glitters is not gold. Therefore, for him to believe, he must get to take off the woman's mask off first and see his hidden nature."

---

This is what happens in marriage, the woman always comes in by hiding her true nature so as to be accepted by all. But one thing is certain: she can't hide forever, and after she is fully welcomed and she gives birth to the family (especially if it's a baby boy), that's when her weaknesses will step in and her true nature will be revealed to be seen by all.

---

Be like the wise man, and you will know peace. But unfortunately for you, @Op, she unpacked before you get to see what's under that mask.

charles009:
Hello Folks,

Just thought i should share this, your imputs i will appreciate.

I have a wife who is willing to sacrifice her life to keep her friends, i mean fake friends,fake neighbours, fake people. Who go about slandering her, back bite and all stuffs and when i wade in she feels l am extremely unforgiven.

To cut the long story short, a very close ally tried scamming her, when i ran all checks and confronted the lady, she confessed to knowing it was a scam abinitio. I warned the lady to seize contacting her henceforth, To my surprise she started saying i should let her handle her, someone who was already salivating to ripping you off 800k. I find this weakness increasingly unbearable.

My thought pattern with people is very precise and direct.i don't care your relationship with me. If you fake, backbite, gossip, i cut you off, through my actions and deeds. No second chances.

Can her personality disorder (i choose to call it) be corrected through my aggressive correction pattern to help her build a strong character or should i simply letting her do her stuff.

ur wife sound like someone who voted buhari twice thus a slowpoke

People like your wife hardly ever learn not until it's too late.but leave her ..oge mmeya vuum nayan.
Water wey touch preek must touch blokos too.

Keep anger aside.


What I'll do?

I will give my wife a stern warning against it. Of course, my wife knows when I am kidding no more.

Tell her she is on her own if she gets scammed, and mean it. You cant have a wife who doesnt respect and obeys her husband. Nonsense.

stupidmod3:
ur wife sound like someone who voted buhari twice thus a slowpoke

stupidmod3:
ur wife sound like someone who voted buhari twice thus a slowpoke

you're wicked

Sure some women are just stubborn! Are you sure you are the end of the house and not the wife If you are the true head of home ( responsible and caring) call her and warn her that she shouldn't let you hear or know that someone trusted as friends betrayed her, tell her she is on her own! It's better you say something plan than giving attitude. She will caution herself because she would not want to loose little earning from her money, and she knows you wouldn't care even if she is crying out blood. Give her deep warning please! Thanks

It's actually a disorder, fear of being alone
Sit her down and record the conversations and let her know you are recording the convos
Until her life is destroy by the so called friends, she won't let go of her fears
Let her lose her money, sha don't let your money be involved.

That's why God brought both of you together, do it for her.
My dad is chief accomodator even down to ppl who scammed him but my mom clears them. He will oppose initially but later appreciate her.lol

charles009:
Hello Folks,

Just thought i should share this, your imputs i will appreciate.

I have a wife who is willing to sacrifice her life to keep her friends, i mean fake friends,fake neighbours, fake people. Who go about slandering her, back bite and all stuffs and when i wade in she feels l am extremely unforgiven.

To cut the long story short, a very close ally tried scamming her, when i ran all checks and confronted the lady, she confessed to knowing it was a scam abinitio. I warned the lady to seize contacting her henceforth, To my surprise she started saying i should let her handle her, someone who was already salivating to ripping you off 800k. I find this weakness increasingly unbearable.

My thought pattern with people is very precise and direct.i don't care your relationship with me. If you fake, backbite, gossip, i cut you off, through my actions and deeds. No second chances.

Can her personality disorder (i choose to call it) be corrected through my aggressive correction pattern to help her build a strong character or should i simply let her do her stuff.

Let's fix things for you.send a mail to the address below

call it what it is

she is dumb, not smart. low IQ. Its very easy to scam such ppl. There is little or nothing u can do, such ppl only learn from personal experience sadly.

Even when u are talking sense into her she will still argue n choose her path, low IQ

The best way to solve this is to get very close to her, do things together that you both haven't done before, communicate more often and she would be comfortable sharing things with you, and then you would be able to advise her on what and not what to do, do not be aggressive or else she would have no other choice than to go to others who she would be comfortable with and they would continue to exploit her by trying to act nice to her..

If you can't control your wife then you aren't a man!

charles009:
Hello Folks,

Just thought i should share this, your imputs i will appreciate.

I have a wife who is willing to sacrifice her life to keep her friends, i mean fake friends,fake neighbours, fake people. Who go about slandering her, back bite and all stuffs and when i wade in she feels l am extremely unforgiven.

To cut the long story short, a very close ally tried scamming her, when i ran all checks and confronted the lady, she confessed to knowing it was a scam abinitio. I warned the lady to seize contacting her henceforth, To my surprise she started saying i should let her handle her, someone who was already salivating to ripping you off 800k. I find this weakness increasingly unbearable.

My thought pattern with people is very precise and direct.i don't care your relationship with me. If you fake, backbite, gossip, i cut you off, through my actions and deeds. No second chances.

Can her personality disorder (i choose to call it) be corrected through my aggressive correction pattern to help her build a strong character or should i simply let her do her stuff.

Does your wife have abandonment issues or issues with craving people's acceptance?

Can she depend or trust you emotionally?

Try to understand the root cause so you know the best solution.

In the meantime, ensure she is not responsible for the management of your finances.

You don't want to deal with falling into financial ruin while trying to address the issue.

Xenry:
You didn't see this before marriage, did you?

---

Just like I have said before:"they came crawling like snakes with masks, faking humility and always hiding their true nature so as to be welcomed by all... And when the time is set, they unpack their bags and show the environment with it can turn into. But the wise man always takes caution because he knows that all that glitters is not gold. Therefore, for him to believe, he must get to take off the woman's mask off first and see his hidden nature."

---

This is what happens in marriage, the woman always comes in by hiding her true nature so as to be accepted by all. But one thing is certain: she can't hide forever, and after she is fully welcomed and she gives birth to the family (especially if it's a baby boy), that's when her weaknesses will step in and her true nature will be revealed to be seen by all.

---

Be like the wise man, and you will know peace. But unfortunately for you, @Op, she unpacked before you get to see what's under that mask.

Are you married?

na stubbornness dey do her

DIVORCE .. billgate don divorce

If it’s your money she’s using, stop giving her money or reduce what you give her. If it’s her money let her be.

I don’t take advise from people as to how to spend the money I worked for, neither do I give advise to others.

She’s going to stop telling you about her money moves if you keep acting like you are the only one who knows what to do with money.

Your wife isn’t a child stop being aggressive with her, she will soon start returning the aggression, then what? You will start pummeling her?

Richy4:
Aggressive correction pattern you said? that Sounds like a military regime you were about to bring into your relationship... The disadvantage of what you want to do is that you might forget your boundaries...you MIGHT TOTALLY forget that she was an adult and will wants to control her every move, whom she goes out with and whom she has dealings with.... we don't want to hear her coming to Nairaland in future, open a thread, complaining that her husband won't allow her to breath without his approval.... then people that encouraged you to do what you were about to start doing will turn against you.....

I will suggest that you soft pedal on her ... She is the trusting type and that golden heart I guess was what attracted you to her... Some people, when they have and can't give, it gives them sleepless nights...Sometimes, it's hard to let go of someone u assumed was a best friend that have your interest at heart...
Sometimes also, the way to open people like your wife's eyes is by providing a concrete evidence to back up your claims so that when she starts dropping them like hot potatoes, she has all her facts right... a lot of people were still trusting in this world..

You pointed out my biggest concern and worry, trying to be increasingly aggressive,control her every moves. Our behaviors and attitudes sharply contracts, with her i can be very accommodating no doubt. I need her to have a very strong character, take decisions without fear of loss or whatever. Even when you show her evidence, she will want to forgive...

Ritzybeauty:
The best way to solve this is to get very close to her, do things together that you both haven't done before, communicate more often and she would be comfortable sharing things with you, and then you would be able to advise her on what and not what to do, do not be aggressive or else she would have no other choice than to go to others who she would be comfortable with and they would continue to exploit her by trying to act nice to her..

She has her privacy, but when it comes to critical decisions, she will always let me know.

eazzzy1:
If it’s your money she’s using, stop giving her money or reduce what you give her. If it’s her money let her be.

I don’t take advise from people as to how to spend the money I worked for, neither do I give advise to others.

She’s going to stop telling you about her money moves if you keep acting like you are the only one who knows what to do with money.

Your wife isn’t a child stop being aggressive with her, she will soon start returning the aggression, then what? You will start pummeling her?

You missing the point here. If i i recall the time of MBA trades, I didn't stop her, i only warned. Having said that i will will resist in FULL any attempt by anyone to prey on her niceness and rip her off. If not for pleadings, i would have dealt profusely with that her friend..

You are not in charge of the house.

Any guy who is planning to get married you endeavor to take control of his lady right from very beginning , if such person wants to have peace at least.

...Women are just fresh fish it dries...... ,the position you put them before marriage determines alot after marriage.

Just make sure ur wife doesn't come across a false prophet or fake pastor/cleric in anyway because it will be worse than this

stupidmod3:
ur wife sound like someone who voted buhari twice thus a slowpoke

Gbam!

I have a friend/cousin who is like that. I discovered the more I correct him, the more he finds a way to avoid me. The more I try to point out the error in his logic, the more he lies and hides things from me. So I stopped probing into his decisions. Now he's opening up a little. I now start agreeing with him on everything. I always suggest other options to him then tell him I trust him to make the best decision. If he messes up, I always let him know he tried his best. Sometimes I knowingly follow him to go do a terrible flop, then try to let him see the effects of it. I usually write down how I think the stuff will play out before we go then when we get back, I let him read it before we work out other options. But what I am doing now is connecting him with good people whose advice he will respect. I don't want to admit he's a slowpoke(I actually just did) because he's a good guy. You can't change some people. And anger won't solve their issue too; they'll only learn to avoid you. They're adults afterall.

ChiefSosa:

But, if you want short cut, I can tell Baba abdul at Ijebu-ode to waybill something for you. Just lick it 3 times before speaking to her and she'll listen to everything you say.

The quoted portion caught my attention..

Is this actually real?! Like you've used it personally before, and you can confirm for a certainty that it's real?

Casham:
I have a friend/cousin who is like that. I discovered the more I correct him, the more he finds a way to avoid me. The more I try to point out the error in his logic, the more he lies and hides things from me. So I stopped probing into his decisions. Now he's opening up a little. I now start agreeing with him on everything. I always suggest other options to him then tell him I trust him to make the best decision. If he messes up, I always let him know he tried his best. Sometimes I knowingly follow him to go do a terrible flop, then try to let him see the effects of it. I usually write down how I think the stuff will play out before we go then when we get back, I let him read it before we work out other options. But what I am doing now is connecting him with good people whose advice he will respect. I don't want to admit he's a slowpoke(I actually just did) because he's a good guy. You can't change some people. And anger won't solve their issue too; they'll only learn to avoid you. They're adults afterall.

@OP... Take this advice.

Ogah if you are the real bread � winner/ the main provider in the family your wife has no reason to be so stubborn / disobedient to you. So check your self well and take strong action as a man b4 things will get out of hand.