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Confused! - Family (17) - Nairaland

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Re: Confused! by Raalsalghul: 5:05pm On Jul 04, 2021
That word Red Pill dey really pepper some folks for this thread. grin grin grin grin grin grin

“People fear what they don't understand and hate what they can't conquer.”

― Andrew Smith

1 Like

Re: Confused! by Mecka: 5:06pm On Jul 04, 2021
mariahAngel:


What I have come to understand and made peace with is the not all women will be alphas, just like not all males are alphas.

Omg! A guy just created a thread on romance section asking if there's anything wrong in calling his married ex to come cook for him! Omg!
The lady not only agreed, she also went with him to the market to buy the ingredients! grin

I swear, I'm so pissed right now! grin

So which (Alpha female or beta female) do you aspire to be? Cos i see you as a fierce character, (correct me if i'm wrong) never ready to back down. Always strict and strong headed.
Re: Confused! by Raalsalghul: 5:26pm On Jul 04, 2021
"I deliberately refrained from saying anything about your issue because it's glaring for any right thinking person to see that you're not a serious person!"


grin grin grin grin grin grin grin

Some people wicked!
Re: Confused! by Mecka: 5:35pm On Jul 04, 2021
lovelybugs:


As nice as this sounds, a lot of men can't be trusted with their own kids. They'll end up dumping them at relatives homes as unpaid house boys and girls, to be molested by whoever pleases. A mother who loves her children would never leave them to go through that. That's why most women are at a disadvantage. Na who care pass dey loose for marriage matter.
Not me. I'm going to be a responsible father
Re: Confused! by Mecka: 5:46pm On Jul 04, 2021
pocohantas:


If the man is responsible and was involved in their welfare, it would be easier. Not the ones that would go dump them with grandma in the village. Anyway, apart from maternal instincts, I have noticed Nigerian mothers like to put themselves through some unnecessary suffer. Maybe it helps them with the emotional blackmail (after all I did for you). As far as the man is responsible and has the means, I will leave the kids for him!




grin grin grin
Madam, Children are best raised and nurtured by the mother. Fathers hardly have time.
Re: Confused! by pocohantas(f): 5:49pm On Jul 04, 2021
Mecka:
Madam, Children are best raised and nurtured by the mother. Fathers hardly have time.

Sure, Nigerian fathers hardly have time to raise their kids. But they have time to watch the whole UEFA. Have time to hangout at bars, drinking Harp and eating isi ewu. Have time to pursue small small girls in Moremi. Have time to go for imaginary business meetings, all to end up in hotels with their jobless lovers.

It is all about priorities.

13 Likes 5 Shares

Re: Confused! by MMotimo: 5:51pm On Jul 04, 2021
Naija women like to make a lot of noise about how they love their kids and most do but the truth is for master manipulators like the OP, children are part of the strategy for their own financial comfort which is rooted in getting married as soon as you possibly can so that you can become someone’s liability and live a life of relative ease. This is the naija poverty mentality version of falling in love with a fairytale prince. In her case, it has become a nightmare because her partner is no prince. She grossly miscalculated and that’s why she is where she is.

A woman living in penury and popping out kids is quite capable of exposing them to every form of danger if the price is right. This OP is as bad if not worse than her husband, she’s a master manipulator. Right now, those kids are her begging crutch. No difference from those that sit in traffic with their kids all day, begging for money. With her primitive thought processes, these kids are her “anchor, cement “ in her “husband’s house.” If she thought dropping them off with their Dad could be to her financial advantage, I would be surprised if she didn’t but she already knows she needs them to continue with this online drive so she won’t do that.

4 Likes

Re: Confused! by greenie77: 5:56pm On Jul 04, 2021
Mecka:
Madam, Children are best raised and nurtured by the mother. Fathers hardly have time.

Not time, they just don't have the interest. Some fathers would prefer hanging out in bars than spending time with their children.

5 Likes

Re: Confused! by apatheticme(f): 6:12pm On Jul 04, 2021
.

8 Likes 1 Share

Re: Confused! by mariahAngel(f): 6:44pm On Jul 04, 2021
Mecka:
So which (Alpha female or beta female) do you aspire to be? Cos i see you as a fierce character, (correct me if i'm wrong) never ready to back down. Always strict and strong headed.

All I can say is that correcting you will not be necessary.
Re: Confused! by mariahAngel(f): 6:47pm On Jul 04, 2021
apatheticme:


My dear, not only did I read the post, I also followed the several pages of comments on the thread!

I said what I said. Everyone is different! I wasn't particularly addressing your issue from all my comments, I responded to a particular comment made by CHoccolaTE. You can trace it back and see where my comments stemmed from.

I deliberately refrained from saying anything about your issue because it's glaring for any right thinking person to see that you're not a serious person!

Someone is throwing you out, your kids are witnessing your abuse from your partner and you're here galivanting upandan, seeking people's Approval or validation!!! For what? Are the Nairalanders the ones living your life? Are Nairalanders the ones sleeping outside in an uncompleted building with an infant??

Don't do the needful, be there fooling yourself. By the time the guy sends you out again and a snake or scorpion bites you or your kid, or you're raped and he sends you out, same Alfa mails here will still blame you. Or if he eventually sends you to the great beyond, your kids will be able to hawk pure water or become maids/house boy.

Dumbass woman, seeking pity and useless validation instead of taking rational decisions. I despise emotional weaklings like you. We dey talk about man wey see you as trash and treats you like one, you dey talk about shit and plate, mtchewwww.

If tables were turned, the man will not hesitate to drop you like tissue paper! Ozwor!

Omo! ×3

Are you Slay wife?
Re: Confused! by mariahAngel(f): 6:57pm On Jul 04, 2021
Rozcol:
What happened to leaving the children with him to care for. Nigerian women and their oversabi,if I should leave a husband (God forbids) I will so drop all the kids with him to look after,why should I be the one to carry the kids along,lai lai that one can't work for me ooo.I have strong and valid reasons for doing so.

...and then came Zzor cheesy

You can leave your own babies with a man?

1 Like

Re: Confused! by pocohantas(f): 7:14pm On Jul 04, 2021
mariahAngel:


...and then came Zzor cheesy

You can leave your own babies with a man?

THEIR FATHER, not a man.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Confused! by mariahAngel(f): 7:21pm On Jul 04, 2021
pocohantas:


THEIR FATHER, not a man.

I'm very much aware of what I did there. cheesy
Re: Confused! by pocohantas(f): 7:22pm On Jul 04, 2021
mariahAngel:


I'm very much aware of what I did there. cheesy

But no be she dey make that comment na. grin
Re: Confused! by mariahAngel(f): 7:30pm On Jul 04, 2021
pocohantas:


But no be she dey make that comment na. grin

...but I swear ehn, not even death can separate me from my little children. And no be about suffer head or victim mentality.
Re: Confused! by descarado: 8:13pm On Jul 04, 2021
mariahAngel:


...and then came Zzor cheesy

You can leave your own babies with a man?
Of course, after signing all the necessary papers.
Especially a rich husband.
Re: Confused! by LadySarah: 8:14pm On Jul 04, 2021
mariahAngel:


Omo! ×3

Are you Slay wife?

more like computergeek that deactivated sometime ago.
Re: Confused! by mariahAngel(f): 8:19pm On Jul 04, 2021
LadySarah:


more like computergeek that deactivated sometime ago.

Whoever she is, she's unapologetically ruthless and ruthlessly unapologetic. grin

1 Like

Re: Confused! by mariahAngel(f): 8:22pm On Jul 04, 2021
descarado:

Of course, after signing all the necessary papers.
Especially a rich husband.

I don't get... cheesy

You mean you'd leave them if their father were rich?
Re: Confused! by mariahAngel(f): 8:38pm On Jul 04, 2021
Raalsalghul:
That word Red Pill dey really pepper some folks for this thread. grin grin grin grin grin grin

“People fear what they don't understand and hate what they can't conquer.”

― Andrew Smith


The term Red pill (whatever it means) is totally meaningless to me.
I'm sure there were movements before it, and there certainly will be more after its death(when its advocates become bored of it), and the world will continue to exist.
(People will always return to being who they really are)
Humans will always find new hobbies to keep them going.
Re: Confused! by Mecka: 8:39pm On Jul 04, 2021
mariahAngel:


All I can say is that correcting you will not be necessary.
No offence miss. Its just my view about you. I may be wrong tho
Re: Confused! by Raalsalghul: 8:39pm On Jul 04, 2021
mariahAngel:


The term Red pill (whatever it means) is totally meaningless to me.
I'm sure there were movements before it, and there certainly will be more after its death(when its advocates become bored of it), and the world will continue to exist.
(People will always return to being who they really are)
Humans will always find new hobbies to keep them going.

K!
Re: Confused! by mariahAngel(f): 8:40pm On Jul 04, 2021
Mecka:
No offence miss. Its just my view about you. I may be wrong tho

None taken. Honestly.
Re: Confused! by mariahAngel(f): 8:43pm On Jul 04, 2021
Raalsalghul:


K!

At least you had the decency not to cancel it. grin
Re: Confused! by pocohantas(f): 8:49pm On Jul 04, 2021
mariahAngel:


...but I swear ehn, not even death can separate me from my little children. And no be about suffer head or victim mentality.

What if he also swears that only death can separate him from his kids? Why do we women think we are the only ones capable of loving our kids this way?

I won’t make such a decision based on emotions or some mushy motherly love. I will consider myself and the kids.

If I were Linda Ikeji or Tiwa Savage, I would go with my kids. But say I am a young hustling girl, he will na throw me out and I will mumu and be dragging kids with him. He is a responsible father, has money, a job, and cars. Me with only a teaching job and Corolla, I will na jack three kids. Take them to a different location, rent a house, put them in new schools. Literally put my life on hold. Then one useless court will tell him to pay me 20k child support. Upon that he will be trying to monitor my life in their usual manner, making it hard for me to move on. Tomorrow the kids will grow and go look for him. God forbid. He should hold them, I will pay 20k child support and get visitation rights.

If e do anyhow and try to manipulate me with them, wetin Churchill do Tonto go small for wetin I go do am. When they grow they should come look for me.

12 Likes 3 Shares

Re: Confused! by mariahAngel(f): 9:07pm On Jul 04, 2021
Lizzyangel, apart from your teaching job, there are other things you can do to financially sustain yourself and your children you know?

Farm produce are very cheap in Ondo state. I suggest you go into buying (whatever is in season) from farmers and then sell to people from other states where those goods aren't cheap.
Also, I hear snails are much there and they are high in demand in Lagos you know? You can source for them (big ones) and sell at a good price.
Take advantage of the opportunities around you sha.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: Confused! by mariahAngel(f): 9:10pm On Jul 04, 2021
pocohantas:


What if he also swears that only death can separate him from his kids? Why do we women think we are the only ones capable of loving our kids this way?

I won’t make such a decision based on emotions or some mushy motherly love. I will consider myself and the kids.

If I were Linda Ikeji or Tiwa Savage, I would go with my kids. But say I am a young hustling girl, he will na throw me out and I will mumu and be dragging kids with him. He is a responsible father, has money, a job, and cars. Me with only a teaching job and Corolla, I will na jack three kids. Take them to a different location, rent a house, put them in new schools. Literally put my life on hold. Then one useless court will tell him to pay me 20k child support. Upon that he will be trying to monitor my life in their usual manner, making it hard for me to move on. Tomorrow the kids will grow and go look for him. God forbid. He should hold them, I will pay 20k child support and get visitation rights.

If e do anyhow and try to manipulate me with them, wetin Churchill do Tonto go small for wetin I go do am. When they grow they should come look for me.

grin

Another woman go use your children do house help o!
Re: Confused! by pocohantas(f): 9:21pm On Jul 04, 2021
mariahAngel:


grin

Another woman go use your children do house help o!

Emphasis on responsible father. If I trust him to take care of them, he will be with them.

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: Confused! by Nobody: 9:26pm On Jul 04, 2021
What a thread lipsrsealed lipsrsealed lipsrsealed
Re: Confused! by Oluwapamilerin0: 9:51pm On Jul 04, 2021
pocohantas:


What if he also swears that only death can separate him from his kids? Why do we women think we are the only ones capable of loving our kids this way?

I won’t make such a decision based on emotions or some mushy motherly love. I will consider myself and the kids.

If I were Linda Ikeji or Tiwa Savage, I would go with my kids. But say I am a young hustling girl, he will na throw me out and I will mumu and be dragging kids with him. He is a responsible father, has money, a job, and cars. Me with only a teaching job and Corolla, I will na jack three kids. Take them to a different location, rent a house, put them in new schools. Literally put my life on hold. Then one useless court will tell him to pay me 20k child support. Upon that he will be trying to monitor my life in their usual manner, making it hard for me to move on. Tomorrow the kids will grow and go look for him. God forbid. He should hold them, I will pay 20k child support and get visitation rights.

If e do anyhow and try to manipulate me with them, wetin Churchill do Tonto go small for wetin I go do am. When they grow they should come look for me.
Pardon my question because I'm curious to know; do you have kids??
Re: Confused! by pocohantas(f): 9:54pm On Jul 04, 2021
Oluwapamilerin0:

Pardon my question because I'm curious to know; do you have kids??

Yes, 4 of them. Why?

1 Like

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