Hey guys!

Would appreciate you all input on my situation.

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 1.5 years. Things are going great with our relationship. We both are madly in love with each other. I am 27, & he is 29. Well, he has said in the past that he is unsure if he wants to get married. I know the idea of committment is huge for guys. I told him that I would marry him anytime he is ready. Well, I think the root of the matter is that he loves his alone time.

He looks at porn often which I know about & have told him many times I accept it (which took some time in my heart but I know it is separate from our love). I know that he saves soft-core porn pictures of hundreds of females in folders on his computer.

Everyday he saves more and more. I guess so he can masturbate to them. I accept that as his personal masturbation act. I think the root of the matter is he is scared that if we were to get married, he would have to give this up. I think he still thinks that this porn hurts me.

I think I need to tell him that I love every part of him and accept him just the way he is. I think I need to let him know that he can continue this habit when we are married if he wants to. It does not bother me. I need to let him know I will always make sure he has his space and alone time.

I will go on shopping trips or on jogs so he can have his alone/porn time. I just don't know when I should have this conversation. Should I just wait for him to bring up the topic of marriage?

I don't want to freak him out. I just want him to know I accept him, all of him. I love him forever and always.

Thank you guys for listening.

If a guy is says he is "unsure if he wants to get married" to you, it's not the same thing as not being ready yet.  He may never be ready to marry you.  As far as I know, guys don't have a trouble with commitment when they are sure that they have found the right person.  They (we?) tend to be impulsive when they think they have found what they are looking for.  I just want to caution you that this your one basket of eggs could disappoint.

I don't think this indecency is the issue.  He can marry you and easily hide it from you.  Easily.  But maybe he has not found the body type he is looking for, or something else, I don't know. If you talk, it will come out eventually.  I don't think love is everything for most guys.

dammm you are a good woman

well if you feel like you have time, you can wait for him to bring the topic back up

and if not just talk to him tell him you accept and will continue to accept all his faults going fwd as you are rdy for marriage

Seun:

If a guy is says he is "unsure if he wants to get married" to you, it's not the same thing as not being ready yet. He may never be ready to marry you. As far as I know, guys don't have a trouble with commitment when they are sure that they have found the right person. They (we?) tend to be impulsive when they think they have found what they are looking for. I just want to caution you that this your one basket of eggs could disappoint.

true

some of this things are easier said than done! you might marry him but i am almost certain the indecency stuff would bother you along the way.

Maybe he doesn't want to marry someone who accepts this part of him.
Maybe he feels your accepting it is a sign of desperation.  _{Men can be dumb}

Girl,it could be that he just isnt that into you. The issue on ground is so little.I dont think a guy would not want to marry a person just cos of he's into indecency films. You are making reasons for why you think he doesnt want to settle down and for all you know the problem might not be this

op
from what u said i think u re a good lady,
but 2 me dat ur Bf seem like some1 dat will disappoint u and break ur heart.
So be wise n shine eyez.

ok,

I thought the whole idea of this 'inde-cen-cy' business was to 'service' moi. . . not the self?

Or, am I gerrin' too old to keep up with these youngsters?

@OP

So you go jogging to 'release' stress and come back to empty palm wine gourds that have been released on your couch?
You sef like 'punishment' for your sins. . .So, after he releases all over the house in your absence. . . you will be the first to complain that he is impotent after using your mouth to work on the deflated ballon for over 6 hours without success!
Why don't you stay with him and watch the "Blues Clues" with him?
I would. Are you sure he is not into 'the anus' stuffin' and straffin'?
A young man that is self-sar-vee-ceeng' at 29 with a poohsie in the house. . .

What will he do at 45?

You go soon turn 'kiki'!


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oww6pOemx5s

Wonders!


Na wa for love o!

Gaaaaaaaaaal. . . you gat him 'twisted'!

You berra run for your dear life. . . this man is a 'bi-sexual'!

BTW, what exactly do you love about him after 1.5 years of dating?

You have agreed to share him with the hole in your mattress. . . be prepared to share him with a few Pastors Odulele or Bishops Eddie Long in the future.

Why do you associate with someone who does not share your beliefs? You are not in favor of "in-dee-cen-cee". . . but you are willing to allow your partner to indulge. . .AT THE EXPENSE OF YOURSELF AND YOUR HAPPINESS?

ALL BECAUSE YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED. . .? EVEN TO AN AMBIDEXTROUS gay?

This smacks of desperation.

I will go on shopping trips or on jogs so he can have his alone/indecency time. I just don't know when I should have this conversation. Should I just wait for him to bring up the topic of marriage?

Tufiakwa!
No, you need to see a shrink. . . ASAP!!! As in NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!

Nothing wey porson nor go read for this NL of a joint!

Poster, have u ever watch porn movies with him together? You both should try it. It would bring you both to a whole new level.

Its not healthy for a relationship, not to talk of marriage! How can u be accepting it from him, and u think u can cope with dat

If he's not ''ready'' to get married to u cos he fears entrenchment on his ''private time'' then he's choosing his indecency pics/videos over u, which is not such a good thing.

Reason carefully, be wise and dont be blinded by love. If i were in dat situation, il probably suggest a break from the relationship, to allow him time to know if that is what he prefers, his indecency time or time with u!

Seun:

If a guy is says he is "unsure if he wants to get married" to you, it's not the same thing as not being ready yet. He may never be ready to marry you. As far as I know, guys don't have a trouble with commitment when they are sure that they have found the right person. They (we?) tend to be impulsive when they think they have found what they are looking for. I just want to caution you that this your one basket of eggs could disappoint.

I don't think this indecency is the issue. He can marry you and easily hide it from you. Easily. But maybe he has not found the body type he is looking for, or something else, I don't know. If you talk, it will come out eventually. I don't think love is everything for most guys.

Poster meditate on this day and night it points the way out of your dilemma.

i agree with Ms.POTATO,maybe he is the nasty type (licking and sucking),and he is not free enough to you the way he want it done.1.5yrs is enuf to tell u that u are not his type.i tink u are taking the thing 2serious,so he felt u are 2desperate.if you dont expect u will not be disappointed.

first indency, next every other crap

rully2:

Its not healthy for a relationship, not to talk of marriage! How can u be accepting it from him, and u think u can cope with dat  

Tell 'em

Well, with all ur words u look understanding but remember u are talking about marriage here,a time may come in life that u need somebody u can trust and talk to; hay: what if he does not have ur time or his not there for u
U are a young lady, is good to have a broken relationship that will hurt u for sometimes than a broken marriage that leaves a stain with u forever: think before u leap, dont leap on dark after hell fire the next suffering state is bad marriage pls talk to ur spiritual leaders and ur parent cheers