My bfrnd as me 2 change my line just be course of my ex dat has travelled out of d country but he stil calls. And i told my bfrd everytin but he insist dat i change my line. I need ur advice, he has already bought d line, should i collect it becos he said is ether i change d iine or i 4get about him. I don't want 2 lose him and i don't want 2 lose my contact aswel.

Jealousy or suspicion.  Changing the line will not stop you from talking to your ex if you still wanted.  All you have to do is write his number on a piece of paper and call him, tell your boyfriend to deal with it, more importantly you need to slow down with your ex.

I advice you accept the new line. He feels threatened with your exs' call and thats natural. Try to respect his feelings about it.

Yes. Changing your line may not stop the communication if you still want to but do it anyway so that your boyfriend will feel at ease

Is it jealousy or love??

Honey, its both . . he loves you too much that he feels threatened to the fact of loosing you


Its jealousy Cos he compares and contrasts himself with the other guy, and imgining what could happen if care is not taken


This is a kind of situation where i say, go with your gutts and feelings . . just know one thing, each of the options can be as good for whoever decides to go by it.

Say no to the new number: Getting a new number doesn't necessarily stop contacts between you guys, what happens when your ex, one way or the other gets hold of the new one?? Do you go about doing things because of his insecurities? Do you have to change number each time an unwanted or unwelcomed person starts to call?

Say yes to the new number: Well he does love you, he feels threatened and helpless, you could do it to please him, thats what love is al about. Well again, life is uncertain, there are chances , no matter how small that you might fall back for your ex, you loved him once . .

If it were me: Honestly i do not know what i would have done . . till i get to that point.

Do whatever you feel ok with dear, do you love your boyfriend more than you value your stability??!!

be wise! just accept d new line 4 peace to reighn

Changing your line is useless. Unless you want to live in the moon. Your bf would eventually get your line bacl people close to you. Don't waste your money and time. Explain to your new bf and assure him of his love. The ball is actually in your court. He has reason to b suspicious. It is not jealousy at all. It is suspicious based more likely on the way and manner you answer your ex bf. And of course your attitude on and off the phone.
By the way, you didn't tell us what we want to hear. Why did you leave the old bf? What happened? Did your bf snatched your from him? When did it happen,b4 your ex bf travelled or after? All these are needed for us to help you. Unless you are trying to eat your cake and have it. No deal. Just don't change your line, you would be frustrated in the end if your ex bf is determined to pin you down. ONLY YOU CAN STOP HIM BY DECIDING WHERE YOUR HEART IS. Your new bf must either be intelligent , or he is a party to your spilt with the ex. At any rate, i refrain from judging until u answer my questions.

I don't ve any feelin wat so ever 4 my ex and we did nt ve any problem be4 he traveled. I left him becos he said his goin 2 spend 5or6 yrs be4 comin back 2 naija. Dis is d first year I can't wait dat long am just 23 yrs old, plus 5 isn't dat 28 would he find me attractive again and moreover am nt a slim person. Pls i need ur advice.

you don't have feelings for him but you are asking if you will still be attractive to him at 28? i sense something oh. make you choose 1 of them and leave the other one to go him way.

I understand you now lady. U are in a situation that may hurt you now and later. I MUST FIRST AND FOREMOST ASK YOU TO CHANGE YOUR LINE. I reverse myself because of the delicate nature of your case. DO IT TODAY OR TOMORROW latest. BUT BUY THE LINE WITH YOUR OWN MONEY.( i have a very good reason. It is your insurance. If u ask why maybe i'll later.)

it appear you love your new guy. But I am trying to figure out something which only you can answer. Did he actually love you? Let pray he does. Another is, (sorry, men are around. Figure it out yourself)

After buying new line tell him and watch his reaction. Give him the old line or throw it away in his presence. I suggest you destroy it if guys call you regularly. Because, he is going to activate it later and hear those voices or read the text you never know were sent.

Well, for your information, the old guy have his options. He can keep trying and eventualy get your line again. He may also decide to let you go. I don't know him so I can't tell.

Meanwhile try win your man love back and earn his trust before the old guy get your line back. Because, the story would change. Don't tell your old guy your changing line. Tell him if he ever ask especialy online that you lost it. You would buy another later.

I have reason for adopting this approach. You can modify it. If your ex call using another line JUST GREET HIM no fight nothing. Dont give your guy reason to doubt you.

Finally, if you are JUST STICKING to your new guy because no one look your way or fear of being left in the lurch at your prime, you need help. Fast. If there is love between you and your new guy. DON'T EVER SHOW DESPERATION to marry. Talk of fry pan to fire.
Good luck.

I understand you now lady. U are in a situation that may hurt you now and later. I MUST FIRST AND FOREMOST ASK YOU TO CHANGE YOUR LINE. I reverse myself because of the delicate nature of your case. DO IT TODAY OR TOMORROW latest. BUT BUY THE LINE WITH YOUR OWN MONEY.( i have a very good reason. It is your insurance. If u ask why maybe i'll later.)

it appear you love your new guy. But I am trying to figure out something which only you can answer. Did he actually love you? Let pray he does. Another is, (sorry, men are around. Figure it out yourself)

After buying new line tell him and watch his reaction. Give him the old line or throw it away in his presence. I suggest you destroy it if guys call you regularly. Because, he is going to activate it later and hear those voices or read the text you never know were sent.

Well, for your information, the old guy have his options. He can keep trying and eventualy get your line again. He may also decide to let you go. I don't know him so I can't tell.

Meanwhile try win your man love back and earn his trust before the old guy get your line back. Because, the story would change. Don't tell your old guy your changing line. Tell him if he ever ask especialy online that you lost it. You would buy another later.

I have reason for adopting this approach. You can modify it. If your ex call using another line JUST GREET HIM no fight nothing. Dont give your guy reason to doubt you.

Finally, if you are JUST STICKING to your new guy because no one look your way or fear of being left in the lurch at your prime, you need help. Fast. If there is love between you and your new guy. DON'T EVER SHOW DESPERATION to marry. Talk of fry pan to fire.
Good luck.

I dont know ask grandpa,he might have an idea wat it is

well lets be sincere why do u still communicate with ur ex, ok if u love him as u claim to u do not need anyone to tell i to leave ur ex. or are u now intrested in ur ex cos of the fact that he is abroad and will soon send dollars,lady really ur not wanting to loose ur contact makes one suspicious. look do not be fooled follow ur guy and leave the yankee dude alone,money ein all

Chis! Why you de make people vex here self? you love your boyfriend then why do you still contact the one you've broken up with? for Goodness sake tell me. Oh Ok! because he is up there? Better use what's up your neck before you lose a precious that love and cares for you!

@mcgreat
best advice so far most people advising you hon, av never been in this situation, most do ot kno what dey are saying

I happen to know what I am saying. And I have seen two similar problems leading either way. That was why i gave the two possible outcome. But in life, event keep changing. You thought you have seen it all, while it so happen that you are wrong. All I had just said in on state is "prevention is better than cure"
you never can tell. I am not there so I don't think I should make a blank statement about someone I don't know.

Let me give you an example. A guy I happen to know was in a relationship with a lady. The lady was not a graduate (that is her alibi) while the guy was doing his programme at a state university. The lady was in love so she cut off relationship with what her bf called 'dangerous' guys. Mostly to please her man. She spent proceed from her small business on him. The guy was the best thing in the world. They are getting married after his NYSC. That was their dream. But the dream never materialized. The guy graduated. Then the story changed. By this time, the lady had chased away eligible guy 'just to please her man' . She is still searching at 30 While the guy had two kids now with another lady.

There is also a case of my own adopted sister in similar state but good ending. The guy asked her to stop seeing a particular man, out of suspicious. My sister took a painful decision: she obliged but with caution. She stopped seeing the suspect but didn't fight him.

Today she is happily married to the supposedly jealous man with a kid. And the interesting thing is 'the suspect is now a very good family friend!'

These are real life. So I could say I know what I was saying.

If we are there, it is save to make categorical statemen. Who knows, what your man need is security. Give him and watch what happen. But don't lose your liberty. Please him but be sure he is worth the sacrifice. And again, don't get desperate. Be prayerful.

@Pheesayour u don't get it, is nt about d dollars or anytin.I said i left him be4 he travelled becos i can't ve a relationship outside the country or state. Anytin thank u guyz 4 d advice, ve gotten another line. U need 2 see my bf reaction over it, he was very happy dat he bought me a recharge card instantly. Anyway dat is wat i want his happiness. -!'-Thanks u guyz luv u all.

@ Nikemi

Why is your ex still calling you?

If I were you, I would take the new line and DONT give it to him, just for the sake of the relationship!

What happens to her other contacts
I don't want to believe that it's only her ex that calls her on that line.
Won't she be missing important calls from all the contacts she's made inn the time past?
I wonder oo

Hi, guys, the issue of contact is easy. Many of us have our contacts on other devices (laptops,PDA,PC Note books e.t.c) so that would not be a problem.

What matters most is her happiness and security in her relationship and that's what we should address.

Nikemi, I'm sure you would have a problem if your ex-shows up in the country today asking you out all over again. To make matter worse, if he promises you marriage, you'd be totally confused. The only reason you took a hike was because he'd be gone for about 5years and you cant wait for him (or you don't trust him enough to wait). If this new guy gets a 5year offer outside the shores of Naija then you'd be in another hopless state.

changing SIM does not solve the problem. what if some guy who used to be just a friend starts liking you and you two get talking and your new boyfriend gets to know, would he buy you another SIM? Gurl get a grip.

Many of us have been through your situation and we learned to combine our brains,hearts, reality and God's grace.

I have an ex and we still talk a lot. She still likes me though but we figured we were better-off separated. I'm also in a relationship and my gurl also has not just an ex but exses. She still picks their calls and they are still friends. Your conduct with your ex is the underlying factor. How do you respond to his calls, are you always so expectant for his call?

You should be able to make your new guy trust you and don't ever look down on your self. You are beautiful the way you are and your size should not make you complexed.

I tell all the gurls I've had a lil somethin with, I might not be that model you have in your mind but I'm sure you would not be able to let go off me once we start. I might not be the most handsome, tall, well built guy, but i know how to take care of my gurl and how to make her feel loved and wanted.

Lets cut that crap of the SIM changing, all guys get jealous but it's up to you to build his confidence in you.

The gal had already made up her mind. She is already enjoying her decision. By the way we are at digital age. She won't miss a single call if do the right thing. Do you know you cam switch off your phone and still receive call that goes through it. At least for a period and at a cost? By the way what do you do if you actually lost the line? Just act as if you'd lost the line. That is all. Luckily people lose their phone everyday. Including the saved contact and info. Once again the lady had been reaping the fruit of her decision.

Iwajay, u are right. I love your input. The reality however is that, the guy won't comeback today as you thought. He planned to return in five years unless he won lottery. Don't forget that is naija mentality anytime they travel out. They stay away up to 3-4 years minimum to earn dollar b4 coming home. These are usually people that are determined to make it oversea. Unless they are studying abroad or have mentors, sponsors. The girl must have put that factors into consideration before making her decision not to wait for him. Uncertainity and realistic judgement based on she alone know.

As for if other guys come calling, that is to be expected. Even men toasts marry ladies, young or old. That would be another story. It would surely come unless she is some no one want to date. She would cross that bridge,

Guys  always make we gurls feel they are always there , even when they have nothing to offer in nearest future, You said your boyfriend or your husband to be ,He may love you sure! but that not a sign of love , If he happen to be the one in your shoe , can he sacrifice that for you ? i trust guys they can  divert all the calls on the line and pretend they're doing that in the name of love .My dear , his your else -boyfriend the only one calling the line? to cut the story short i don't think that is love.