I like to have your opinion about my situation.
I've been married 2 years now. My husband is Nigerian and we've live here in Finland
permanent during our marriage.

Begin of May my husband traveled home to meet his family,
and since 18th of May I've not get any message or call from him.

Now my situation is this:
My grandmother died end of May, she was almost 90 years and ready to meet her God.
In her last will she gives her own apartment to me and my husband.
We have prenuptial agreement, but property which coming like this case it's 50/50 to us.

I've try to contact him, but all numbers he's give to me are not working and he don't have open his email even.
I've sent email to Nigerian Embassy in Stockholm, Sweden and embassy of Finland in Abuja, but no reply.

My friends advice me to have lawyer and that I've done, he's advice is that I try to cancel that will in court
and then I take all the money I get when I selling that apartment.

So, what you people thinking, if I follow that advice

Could I waiting or take money and run

What was your marriage like before he travelled

back to Nigeria?

Thank you for your question mellow.

I try to answer to you , but of course this is just my opinion, remember it.

Our family life is normal (who can say what's normal?),
we both working hard and free times we rather spent at home.
I like reading and he likes watching "Nollywood" movies and
chatting with friends in skype.

We're adults with life experience, drama free and down to earth,
so we don't have to waste time argue a lot, just like
who give food to cat

Our values are similar and our economical situation is stability.
We don't use alcohol or other stimulants.

He's plan was spend home around 2 weeks and come back before June,
when I've my leg operation in hospital.
After operation I'm like feet less few days and he told he like to be here
helping me.

That was situation before he travel, so you can understand this is very absurd situation in my life.

Best regards
Thama

I assume english isnt your first language because it was hard to make out some of what you are saying but i think i get the gist. I dont know what the economic situation is like in Finland but my guess is that if its pretty good, your husband was probably looking to marry you to get the required papers that will make his stay in Finland hitch free and easy. I think it would be better for you and your ego is you steal whatever it is you wish to steal.
On the other hand,lets just hope something bad has happened and it has been impossible for him to reach you. What did the Nigerian embassy say when you contacted them?

how is it even possible that in 2007 one can't reach or contact a spouse via e-mail, phone etc? 
you havent heard from him since may 18th? you have got to be kidding me! 
even though nigeria is third world we arent cut off from the world. seems to me like he doesnt want to take your calls or respond to your emails. and oh , don't expect the nigerain embassy to fish him out for you or take a message for you. they are so disorganized its hilarious. my guess is the marriage wasnt good even when he was around? how well did you know him?
i wont allow a husband who treats me this way to surface when he is good and ready to split the proceeds from the apartment my grandma left us.

i have an idea. tell him that you have sold the apartment and his half of the money is ready. i swear to you on tomorrow's rising sun that the fellow will contact you from where ever he is shacked up. 

There are factors you must consider before jumping into conclusion.

1. He has't call call you since 18th may:
Judging from the way you claimed both of you get along, it’s, and don’t you think it would be difficult for him to ignore you?
Have you ever asked yourself this question?
Has something bad happened to him, is he still alive? Is he missing I mean begin to ask questions.

2. Should you take the money and run: Taking the money and run is another good idea. I mean, you’ve tried your best to reach him and heaven will understand that it isn’t stealing. After all the money is rightfully yours.

So you can choose either options and follow them.

God luck.

crazykid:

There are factors you must consider before jumping into conclusion.

1. He has't call call you since 18th may:
Judging from the way you claimed both of you get along, it’s, and don’t you think it would be difficult for him to ignore you?
Have you ever asked yourself this question?
Has something bad happened to him, is he still alive? Is he missing I mean begin to ask questions.

something bad happened to him and none of his relatives can contact her to tell her? maybe she's the 'oyibo" wife no one in naija knows he has! (no pun intended)

I can't believe that you haven't heard from your husband in over 2 months. I agree when everyone says that you should exam your relationship, I mean exam it really hard. Anything that's not normal going on? I can't imagine it being a "normal marriage" and then he gets to Nigeria and doesn't call you at all. Have you tried calling some of his family? Do you have any of their numbers?

I think you should at least wait on the house thing until you hear from him. Don't necessarily tell him about the house, because he might pretend everything is normal until the money goes through. But when you do hear from him, ask him what took him so long to get in contact with you. And just find out what he's thinking. Then you can decide what to do about the apartment.

Hello Thelma,

Maybe your husband is pretending all through your marriage. Do you have plans for having children, do you have some medium to long term plans together. What about his properties, personal and real in Finland. has he removed majority of them etc

Women usually have a good instinct about whether a man loves them or just pretending.

1.Are you really sure he loves you and want to spend the rest of his life with you?
2. Did he has resident papers before you get married?

If the answers to the above questions are YES or even if the first one is YES then the next questions are

3. Did you know any of his family and have any of their numbers?

4. Do you speak with any of his family during your courtship and marriage before he left for Nigeria.

5. Have you tried to contact any of his friends in Finland and Nigeria?

My instinct on thinking about it is that something terrible may have happen to him and or there is a big conspiracy by his friends and family, i think the latter propably. He may have been given another 'wife' somewhere but then he needs to divorce you before he can legally marries another wife, if that is what he is planning.

As for the property, by law you will have to share it with him because it was willed to both of you even if he is leaving you or intends to marry another wife.

You may be 'stealing' if he contact you and divorce you and you keep quite about the property. But then if he has cowardedly cheat you, I can't advise you to do the same, maybe you may be forgiven by God if you refuse to disclose the property to him.

Time is an important factor, if you wait and keep the property and after some years he never showed up again, then I think after 7 years( i don't know the laws in Finland) he will be presumed dead and you can keep the property solely or you sell it. The other way is to sell it and keep his half share for 7 years and then bingo you have it if he does not show up.

May the good Lord grant you wisdom and good counselling on how to deal with the matter.

N.B. We haven't hear from you for sometimes, have you see him, hear from him or you are just keeping quite. Congratulations if you have managed to get hold of him, may God be wwith you in your marriage.