descarado:

Some have zero sperm count yet they marry.
Tell them to go to the hospital for all round check, they will blow hot.
Meanwhile, MIL and her coven is on your case.
Give us grandchild or my son will marry another woman. You will be labelled barren.
So many ladies out there had no child cos husbands refused to seek medical help or open up.
Women have resorted to safeguarding their marriage the other way round.
When we look at what drives women to have kids from outside, infidelity is at the bottom.

UndauntedYOCA:
We act as if babies don't get switched at birth either intentionally or not.
Some nurses have confessed to having done that whilst they worked, some midwives and nurses are crazy. They even sell babies to women who have lost their kids or want gender change because those women were either scared of what their husband's or in-laws' reactions would be.
Infidelity is not the sole cause of paternity fraud or whatever you want to call it in the society.
Sometimes I wish some men could get pregnant sha.

peacettw:


Again with the irate comments, can you categorically say that most cases are due to adultery? If that's true then your comments are in order.

My opinion which clearly differs from yours is that most cases are secondary to infertility. To address any public health problem, one must first address the prevalent cause of it. I am offering solution to what I perceive to be the prevalent cause of these DNA mismatches.

You can offer yours as well but it doesn't mean you get to shoot all ideas down

benji93:
DNA mismatches? How do you mean? Just use a more relatable term. Pertanity Fraud and stop using words you don't quite understand. Please provide facts that suggests most cases are secondary to infertility. How many of our people even conduct virility tests? As i know women are quick to run their mouth, i would think if their spouses have indeed been confirmed impotent, that would be the first thing they mention if matters of the paternity fraud are brought up, but that's not the case. So it's either men do not get tested, or test potent, and in the case of the former there's no evidence to show that in most cases men are virile, so your "most cases are secondary to infertility is quite misleading. Stop that shit. Besides as someone suggested this very case indicates the other children are his, so this is a bad place to bring up the case of virility. When the data reflects that most men are virile as you are suggesting, then we will revisit the matter, otherwise stop this attitude of suggesting an alternative cause is mostly responsible for a problem that clearly tells us something else.

peacettw:


Unfortunately I can't stop it. You are entitled to your own opinions just like I am entitled to mine. It's arrogant to assume that yours reign supreme.

And to think that all I have been seeking is a solution to curb this while all you do is to rehash ur own views with no clear mitigations in sight. The question still remains, how do we stop this from ever occurring?

I have proffered my solution which is to ensure that all men go for fertility tests. What is your solution to the rampant adultery?

benji93:
The most important solution as the case we are currently discussing suggests is that you should advise your fellow women to tell their spouses if any of their kids is another man's. if he accepts, fine, if he doesn't, live with the consequences. The virility matter is very simple, before you marry a man ask him to get tested and check it yourself, before you advance to marriage. Very simple stuff. It is rather insincere of you to anchor the problem ontop another matter. A woman carry another man pikin give him spouse, you come they bring virility matter. Common.

benji93:
Be careful. How many cases of that are out there?

peacettw:


If it were that simple, then I would not have bothered going down this route. You know that most men will hardly ever agree to test their virility, and to be frank I don't know of anyone that has done so in the part of the country that I live in.

As for adultery, I don't have any solutions to that. Noone does. I don't understand why people who practice adultery won't be decent enough to use protection. It boggles the mind. And that goes for both men and women.

But be it as it may, if this act is primarily due to infertility which we can't tell anyway until it is throughly studied, then there is a clear solution to that which is what I am simply advocating for.

I was just compelled to do a mini literature review to see if indeed infertility is rampant in our society and I was right. Male related factors contributed significantly to infertility issues seen between couples and I bet that the negative effects of this will include the women been forced to sleep with other men in other to have children. Go figure

Biglittlelois:
What has church got to do with DNA? Why do people like to drag the church in something that has to do with the society generally?

Or are people on the assumption that only Christians do paternity fraud and atheists, non-conformists, Muslims don't

ALL MY LIFE, ALL THE PLACES I'VE LIVED, WITH ALL THAT I'VE SEEN, OVER 90% OF ALL ADULTRERS, ALL HARDENED CRIMINALS, ALL DRUNKS, ALL CHEATING WIVES, ALL ENEMIES OF PROGRESS, ALL FRAUDSTERS, ALL PRISON INMATES... 90% OF THEM IDENTIFY AS CHRISTIANS.

THIS MIGHT NOT BE ANYTHING MEANINGFUL BUT "MY" REALITY IS THAT ATHEISTS ARE ACTUALLY MORE "CHRIST-LIKE" AND MORALLY UPRIGHT THAN THE PEOPLE THAT ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN A CERTAIN CHRIST.

ALL THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE MADE THE NEWS OVER DNA ISSUE ARE CHRISTIANS THAT HELD WEDDINGS IN CHURCHES, SO THIS TOPIC ISN'T OUT OF PLACE.

benji93:
Bolded: You cannot suggest a solution to a problem that has not been confirmed. You keep pointing to infertility when we do not have enough data to ascertain if it's the major cause of the problem. I want to learn. Provide information that i can digest, and stop giving life to problems, we are not sure are there. I find it puzzling that you cannot understand this. Let's deal with the problems as they come. Adultery is one thing, and i am in no place to judge anyone, as in may God help us all. Both men and women are involved in this. I am not covering up for my gender. But making a man believe he's bringing up his own kid, when his biological father is somewhere else is wickedness. I fear you for putting the two on the same footing. You have in your own way tried to sweep the details under the umbrella of adultery, and ofcourse that would water down the severity of the problem. Good one by you. You have skillfully evaded the point. Now you keep hammering on the point that, you know that most men will hardly ever agree. Then end it. Why are you bend on giving yourself unnecessary headache, that might set up a chain of reactions that would likely cause explosion in the future? Why una dey like court wahala? Demand for it. Very simple. Madam, it doesn't seem we are living in the same reality. Your points are rather not useful, i am sorry to say that.

CAPSLOCKED:


ALL MY LIFE, ALL THE PLACES I'VE LIVED, WITH ALL THAT I'VE SEEN, OVER 90% OF ALL ADULTRERS, ALL HARDENED CRIMINALS, ALL DRUNKS, ALL CHEATING WIVES, ALL ENEMIES OF PROGRESS, ALL FRAUDSTERS, ALL PRISON INMATES... 90% OF THEM IDENTIFY AS CHRISTIANS.

THIS MIGHT NOT BE ANYTHING MEANINGFUL BUT "MY" REALITY IS THAT ATHEISTS ARE ACTUALLY MORE "CHRIST-LIKE" AND MORALLY UPRIGHT THAN THE PEOPLE THAT ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN A CERTAIN CHRIST.

ALL THE PEOPLE THAT HAVE MADE THE NEWS OVER DNA ISSUE ARE CHRISTIANS THAT HELD WEDDINGS IN CHURCHES, SO THIS TOPIC ISN'T OUT OF PLACE.

saphiere:
Rubbish

peacettw:



I understand. You don't think both are one and the same. Again, I beg to disagree. Allow me to share some original articles that support what I had earlier suspected all along

1. High prevalence of male infertility in southeastern Nigeria
https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0,5&q=Infertility+in+couples+nigeria#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3DewfD6YhUvP0J

2. Epidemiology of infertility: social problems of the infertile couples
https://www.ajol.info/index.php/wajm/article/view/27946

3. The social meaning of infertility in Southwest Nigeria
https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=Infertility+in+couples+nigeria&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3Dv0toMxJm5MMJ

4. Cases of Paternity Discrepancy in a Nigerian Tertiary Hospital
https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C5&q=Dna+testing+children+marriage+Nigeria&btnG=#d=gs_qabs&u=%23p%3DeGM6s8ktcNAJ

Interestingly, there are very few studies on paternal discrepancy and its causes in Nigeria. The 4th link, which was the only article I found, observed that out of the 6 cases witnessed, 4 were due to the men's adulterous activities. Of the 2 remaining, one of the women did it cos of infertility related issues and the other to adultery.


And yes i am focusing on the women. You cannot avoid telling a man his kids do not actually belong to him, especially if he's invested in them. Your link between infertility amongst men to paternal discrepancy is at best weak, and could be easily seen as disjointed. Tell the men that the kid is not his. Tell him that you went outside because he refused to do a fertility test, and live with the consequences. And stop finding the problem of the problem of the problem, aimlessly. A large proportion of Nigerians couples(both men and women) don't go for fertility tests, even today So i do not know how the fertility of men became the focus, when they a

So you see, this matter is rather complex. You seem to focus all your energy on the wife and her abominable ways, while in truth, it stretches far beyond that. To repeat myself yet again, the solution to address one of the root problems of paternal discrepancy as it concerns the wives (since that's where your righteous anger is channelled towards) is to ensure that all men go for fertility tests before marriage. It's unclear to me at the moment how adultery can be curbed in marriages particularly for our married men.

I look forwards to your next submission

benji93:
Now you are speaking a language i can relate to. But sadly you don't have a point here.
In the first paper a number of infertile couples were evaluated for the category of infertility. I do not know how this helps your case here. Other than identify the categories of fertility and their prevalence amongst the tested sample. A sample size of 314 is rather too small.

I suppose you are appealing to the claim by the author that infertility causes marital disharmony, which often leads to divorce. First of infertility can be found in both men and women, so it cannot be put on men alone, although i agree that the age-long tradition of blaming fertility on women doesn't hold water in this age give our increasing ability to probe deep into our biology. The author of the second paper also mentioned that studies shows that men are responsible for 20-40% of problems of infertility, in which case the extreme of it, which is 40% still points to the fact that women are mostly responsible for infertility.

peacettw:

After writing up quite a piece in reply to your rather lengthy post, I deleted it since I suspect that you will probably only do same. Before I start, please note that a sample size of 314 is not small especially when it concerns infertility which is not so common a problem. As long as the power to detect type 2 error and p value were fully accounted for, the sample size is very sufficient. This also means that whatever outcomes were derived from a sample size of 314 will probably be the same for a million subjects.

1. Women bear the full brunt of negative societal consequences when faced with issues concerning infertility in their marriages.

2. In most cases of infertility, men are largely responsible and this is not including the fact that most men refuse to get these tests done in the first place.

3. In any marriage where paternal discrepancy exists, infertility is observed to be a major determinant.

4. It is very unethical to demand for mandatory DNA testing without well laid down rules and regulations to guide the process especially as it concerns the rights of the child in question.

5. If such a rule should therefore exist, measures must be put in place to avoid future paternity disputes and in turn the catastrophic consequences associated with it.

6. One of such measures should include the mandatory screening of both men and women to ensure their viability. If any is found to be infertile, alternative options to get a baby should be proferred or they can decide to end the relationship.

7. On issues concerning adultery, I have a lot of ways that can be handled but I doubt if that will sit down well with you so I will refrain from writing them out.

I suppose I ended up writing up a storm afterall. Oh well, it couldn't be helped. Do read my posts carefully this time before replying please. I suspect that you don't since your posts reveal that you rely quite heavily on evasive tactics to arrive at conclusions that aren't at all clear.

We are practically the only two persons left on this page. If we insist on stubbornly continuing this tête-à-tête, let's at least make it fun and easy to comprehend.

yuping:
He is on point but DNA is quite expensive and I don't see reason why someone will be afraid of DNA test if she is not guilty.

benji93:

First bolded:Now infertility is not so common a problem, yet you can blame it as the reason why women bring home kids of other men? What is your problem? It's not a problem, yet you won't let us rest on the matter. You are just all over the place.
Second bolded: Are you kidding me, do you know how many couples you can find in a million, about a fourth. That's 125000 couples. The western world today has access to a much higher sample size which are collected from different demographics and regions. I cannot fault their study though, you can only report what you have access to. Others could join in, and the sample size grows, perhaps our picture becomes clearer as time goes by.

Now from the few articles that I had posted earlier,the facts remain clear:
Nobody is refuting this. And neither am I.

What is wrong with you lady? Doesn't the second article titled Epidemiology of infertility: social problems of the infertile couple mention that the contributing male factor to infertility is as high as 20-40%? Or are we reading different articles? Either you don't know how to draw reasonable conclusions from an article or you are just being dishonest.

Perhaps research is not forte, and it seems this is rather too much for you. None of the papers even remotely suggests infertility is a reason for paternal discrepancy, talkless of use "major". You have no idea what you are talking about. The major cause of paternal discrepancy is that women get pregnant outside willfully, and refuse to disclose it. You don't seem to know how to judge the difference between primary reasons, secondary reasons and remote reasons and that's rather sad.

Are you suggesting that the procedures for DNA testing currently being administered are not in accordance with laid down rules and regulations. Why are you refusing to think about your points, madam? What the heck is this point even doing here.

Future paternity issues? What problem can there be with paternity confirmation if the testing can pull it out of our biology. DNA testing resolves the issue. Case closed. DNA testing is the measure that's been put in place. You don't get to tell us about the consequences of paternity dispute, when you can't tell us the child is not ours in the first place. Nonsense.

No, demand for the test before marriage comes into the question. And end it when there's a problem. Not that i don't agree with mandatory screening for everyone, but it's not the cause of the problem. It is rather unfortunate that only women can carry a living consequence of their infertility, but it is what it is.

If you cannot even determine which reasons are primary, i doubt this is something you can do. Besides adultery has been with us for a long time. The only solution to it is for couples to willfully abstain from it. They need to exercise self-control and that's only within their power not in a powerful suggestion you think you can offer. Stop fantasizing over the abilities you don't have.


You've got a lot to learn. You accuse me of using evasive tactics? Something you have been quilty of from word go? By the way i am on the offensive here. You are the one jumping into absurd conclusions. You may be able to write, but you are clearly punching above your weight here.

peacettw:


Well, I guess my statements so far are been poorly understood.

If you must do a DNA, then please go ahead. Clearly, there must be a reason for it. And if that test is done, and the child isn't yours, we both know what comes next. I am looking at the root cause of this and proferring solutions to curtail this unsavoury issue from every occurring.

Why is this difficult to understand?

Kanbe:


There are many fertile men raising a child amongst their children that they didn't father. The first child issue being an example. You're example isn't as common as you are making it. Since being promiscuous is no longer a shame then DNA tests must be made mandatory.
I don't care about the women and their feelings, because her feelings are not more important than the child and the father's rights. A child has the right to know who their father is and a man has the right to know who his child is. #Rights over #feelings