Dear friends,

This happened to my recently. I have been dating this girl for a month now and we are still in the process of studying each other. I am not just dating her because I want to play with her but I believe relationships that lead to marriage are built gradually and so I am taking my time. I work but don't have a fantastic salary just good enough to keep body and soul together. I really want this girl for long term but I can't start talking about marriage now till I am sure. She told me her Mum wanted to see me and I went there from work. The Mum after having asked me what I do and where I am from told me a story of a guy that earned N1,600 back in those days and got married and his wife had to manage. She told me she needed to know what I was doing with her daughter as she noticed her daughter was so into me; always praying for me etc. I told her we were very good friends and is the only girl I am seeing at the moment and if I am ready for marriage we pray about it and if it is the will of God we get married fine. The woman asked a direct question do you want to marry my daughter and of course I told her I was not ready at the moment for marriage and it's pretty early and secondly my income. When I told her all that she just told me that we should seperate and I should stop sending all those love messages and seeing her daughter at night. Most times I close late from work but I make it a point of duty to see this girl everyday. I know I love her with my heart but I think it's a bit pushy. I called her all through the night aster I left her house and she refused to pick my call and when we eventually spoke this morning she was sounding so cold telling me she was not feeling fine she refused to reply my messages. Another thing is that the girl even told me that I should go after all we enjoyed it while it lasted and we learnt from each other. I think she said this because I told her I would like to continue the relationship but I would need to stop sending intimate text so her Mum does not pick offence as she had warned me and then she freaked out.

What do I do?

Are they trying to force you into marriage ?

Try to hold on and continue praying.

@ Obowunmi well she said she was not forcing me but it seemed like,
@ Dipotech thanks and I would try

I think there was a big disagreement with her mother last night and thats why she didnt pick your call,

I also think that you were right that she didnt like your response.

We guys need to be careful with our utterances. If anybody asks you if you were serious about their daughter next time, just say a big YES.

@ Dewaledeyi she finally picked, her Mum gave her a book to read last night and all they want is for me to commit myself. But really if I were not serious with this chic I would not have shown her to my sisters and friends etc. I know am not playing with her but I just cannot get myself to tell the Mum that I wold marry her then when I know I am not yet ready this year.

Nna di babe na igbo or Edo if. na any of the above she fit don go pray hear money no show for ya star for so WAKA b4 too late

I have a feeling there is another suitor around the corner and they just want to be sure if you are serious or not. The lady may love you and like to stick with you but she is confused. Her mom's actions may just be a result of her confiding in her mom. Why do I think so? If you were the only option, she would not be confused and would not be considering ending the relationship at all! That's just my thinking anyway.

If you love her so much and are ready to take the risk, you can keep showing your care and taking your time. One month is still a very short time to make up your mind. Good luck

One more thing: HOW OLD IS SHE?

@poster
you should have been straight to the point and honest to the mother:
MOTHER: i want to know what you want with my daughter?
YOU: we are very close and trying to build a safe and secure r/ship that will lead to marriage. i understand that back in the days someone could make it with 1600Nairas but this is 2011, i only want the best for your daughter (not to "manage" and therefore need a good job before i can even think of proposing to her, let alone marry her.
BTW saying that her daughter is the "only" girl you are seeing was wrong.

MOTHER: do you want to marry my daughter?
YOU: how can i answer this question when we barely know each other. we are still in the dating stage and YES i would really like to marry her but marriage isnt just a word so i need everything to be right before i make the move. lets not rush into something so IMPORTANT as marriage.

MOTHER: then you should separate and stop sending my daughter these love msgs. . . . . . . . . . .
YOU: may i ask why? do you expect me to marry your daughter NOW when we are still studying and trying to make something out of this. i am sorry, i respect your daughter so i cant jump into marriage just to make YOU happy BUT if thats your wishes then so be it.