When I was younger, a man in my neighborhood had an affair that lead to the birth of a child, keep in mind this man was married man with 2 kids at that time. The man brought the child to his matrimonial home and demanded his wife take care of the child, the woman angry at what had happened, left her husband and filled for divorce. I remember at the that time, the woman was shamed for leaving her marriage and was termed a failure.
I personally do not support cheating but I think it's a bit hypocritical especially when Nigeria being one of the most religious countries is being considered.
I noticed that men are given tips on how not to be caught, and are sometimes praise for it now am not saying all Nigerians think like this but I feel the majority think like this.
Am not saying women should cheat but I feel the same energy given to women should also be given to men
Personally I can't stand a cheating partner and will gladly leave the marriage for the so called Mistress after all my religion permit divorce in the case of adultery. Emotional and mental stress Is not just worth it for the sake of keeping appearance.
Please leave your opinion and constructive criticisms, remember not everyone is supposed to think like you.

With time hopefully we will get there. For now, there is no way you can give the same amount of energy to both sex because my parents will not request a groom price from you nor will they ask you to fill up my wardrobe. Even if the man is jobless it is his primary responsiblity to fend for his family, both immediate and external including that of his in-laws.

Yes, some women are the bread winner of their various homes but i have seen men who will never ever take been ruled by a woman. As in, this class of men will control you with everything you earn anything short of this na problem.

So he who pays the piper dictate the tone. Man nor get small one.

Felimax:
1. With time hopefully we will get there. For now, there is no way you can give the same amount of energy to both sex because my parents will not request a groom price from you nor will they ask you to fill up my wardrobe. Even if the man is jobless it is his primary responsiblity to fend for his family, both immediate and external including that of his in-laws.

Yes, some women are the bread winner of their various homes but i have seen men who will never ever take been ruled by a woman. As in, this class of men will control you with everything you earn anything short of this na problem.

So he who pays the piper dictate the tone. Man nor get small one.

Let me see if i understand well your reasoning here. You seem to be sauinh that because a man fends for the family, he should not be criticized when he sins against said family?

But when a woman commits the same sin as against her family, she is to be heavily citizen and this since she is not the breadwinner of said family?

I don't support cheating. Be it from a man or a woman. The reason why it seems that women are criticized more in such situation is because women hold the key for sex to happen. What I mean is that no man can ever sleep with a woman if the woman doesn't want to sleep with him.Except the man wants to do it by force which is rape.@ Abetterperson.

Kobojunkie:
Let me see if i understand well your reasoning here. You seem to be sauinh that because a man fends for the family, he should not be criticized when he sins against said family?

But when a woman commits the same sin as against her family, she is to be heavily citizen and this since she is not the breadwinner of said family?

Let me assume i got your question right. My point is if you need a dowry from me because i deem fit to marry your daughter, because you have to give me a long least of what i must do before i can have her as a wife for that single reason she is under me and we are not mates even if she is older than me. I paid you to have her move into my house as a helper or a wife not and never my LORD anything short of this you will receive her back into your house so she can LORD over you sir. I will not empty my bank account to marry a wife only to have her as my LORD.
I will not and never support a cheating partner but don't expect me to give the two parties the same energy. I will be very stupid if i ask my sister to leave her marriage because her husband cheated on her.

Felimax:
Let me assume i got your question right. My point is if you need a dowry from me because i deem fit to marry your daughter, because you have to give me a long least of what i must do before i can have her as a wife for that single reason she is under me and we are not mates even if she is older than me. I paid you to have her move into my house as a helper or a wife not and never my LORD anything short of this you will receive her back into your house so she can LORD over you sir. I will not empty my bank account to marry a wife only to have her as my LORD.
I will not and never support a cheating partner but don't expect me to give the two parties the same energy. I will be very stupid if i ask my sister to leave her

So you see the dowry you paid as a sort of redemption money for when you cheat on your family...you believe that money you pay is meant to buy you a place as LORD over your spouse and family? Interesting view...

So to have equal rights in a marriage, you think the dowry system has to go?

Not supporting cheating from any party..

But a cheating woman is far more dangerous than a cheating man.

The emotional pain, torture, negativity suffered by the victims are the same regardless of gender

However in a Patriarch male dominated society like Nigeria, A Cheating wife would do damage to her kids, her husband, her personal family, her church

But a Matriach feminist society like UK and US regardless who cheats , other party are emotionally protected, the women still get compensated with welfare packages



.

Kobojunkie:
So you see the dowry you paid as a sort of redemption money for when you cheat on your family...you believe that money you pay is meant to buy you a place as LORD over your spouse and family? Interesting view...

So to have equal rights in a marriage, you think the dowry system has to go?

Well, you have gotten my view. I can compromise so many things in marriage but certainly not equal right. A man and a woman can never be equal in my view i beg nor vex. Good day.

Felimax:

Well, you have gotten my view. I can compromise so many things in marriage but certainly not equal right. A man and a woman can never be equal in my view i beg nor vex. Good day.

But you just explained that the reason for the man being LORD is the fact that he pays a dowry. Why do you still believe that even when that is taken away, the balance should remain unbalanced?

Kobojunkie:
But you just explained that the reason for the man being LORD is the fact that he pays a dowry. Why do you still believe that even when that is taken away, the balance should remain unbalanced?

What the guy is telling you is that man and woman can never be equal and he is right. Why are you twisting his comment? Don't know why most ladies find it difficult to believe a fact.

Justbehave:
What the guy is telling you is that man and woman can never be equal and he is right. Why are you twisting his comment? Don't know why most ladies find it difficult to believe a fact.

Twisting his comment in what way?

Kobojunkie:
But you just explained that the reason for the man being LORD is the fact that he pays a dowry. Why do you still believe that even when that is taken away, the balance should remain unbalanced?

May be in your own opinion since the man is bringing his mistress into the house and may be their matrimonial bed the woman should do like wise in their matrimonial bed, that is what a balanced relationship means to you. You will not treat the same offense as the same because one will have the power to say leave my house just this moment. These are some of the reasons why the bible said be submissive but to the man he said love. Marriage is a life long tradition and civilization can only make it worst not better.
You brought your boyfriend to your husband's bed and gave him children that are not his own! Can you imagine that? Do you know so many men are so afraid to run paternity test of their children as a result of the kind of woman they call a wife? If the reverse was the case it will only mean that he has some external children, they will be his but in the woman's case she will pretend she doesn't know the child or children does not belong to her husband.
The truth is that, real women that want to be a wife will never think of been equal with their husband. They adore a man that takes charge and put them in control, they crave for a man who will be a husband not a boy to call a husband (big difference) Men are logical beings women are not, they cannot be equal. Still, my view.

Felimax:
1. May be in your own opinion since the man is bringing his mistress into the house and may be their matrimonial bed the woman should do like wise in their matrimonial bed, that is what a balanced relationship means to you . You will not treat the same offense as the same because one will have the power to say leave my house just this moment.

2. These are some of the reasons why the bible said be submissive but to the man he said love. Marriage is a life long tradition and civilization can only make it worst not better.

3. You brought your boyfriend to your husband's bed and gave him children that are not his own! Can you imagine that? Do you know so many men are so afraid to run paternity test of their children as a result of the kind of woman they call a wife? If the reverse was the case it will only mean that he has some external children, they will be his but in the woman's case she will pretend she doesn't know the child or children does not belong to her husband.

4. The truth is that, real women that want to be a wife will never think of been equal with their husband. They adore a man that takes charge and put them in control, they crave for a man who will be a husband not a boy to call a husband (big difference) Men are logical beings women are not, they cannot be equal. Still, my view.

1. A balanced relationship is one where both partners are equally able to commit wrongs against each other? And you mention that one having power over the other... how can one still have power over the other in a balanced relationship?

2. Actually submission in the Bible is the product of a curse placed on man and woman by God. The very same curse that God sent Jesus Christ to redeem man and woman from so God’s curse is what you hail when you mention the Bible in this.

3. Interesting take you seem to have on fairness in marriage.

4. The idea that men are logical and women are not is a myth... a lie...so what does this tell you about your leanings?

Kobojunkie:
1. A balanced relationship is one where both partners are equally able to commit wrongs against each other? And you mention that one having power over the other... how can one still have power over the other in a balanced relationship?

2. Actually submission in the Bible is the product of a curse placed on man and woman by God. The very same curse that God sent Jesus Christ to redeem man and woman from so God’s curse is what you hail when you mention the Bible in this.

3. Interesting take you seem to have on fairness in marriage.

4. The idea that men are logical and women are not is a myth... a lie...so what does this tell you about your leanings?

There comes a time in life you don't really contest people's opinion because what is applicable to me may not be applicable to some other persons. That said! It is quite an ambigous situations surrounding marriage but what you desire my dear is not something that is not achievable, we are not wired the same way, we cannot be. I am one person that believes in man's supremacy.

That men are getting even more logical is the reason why most of them will not take an average woman for a wife because even if they are deeping her they may not see an absolute reason to fix that ring. I may not be able to emphatically speak for women but i can tell you very vehemently that men do a lot of logical thinking even if they are not educated, trust me on this one.

Marriage brings equality yes between a husband and wife but still there is a divine allocation of responsiblities from our maker that we cannot ignore. Two people cannot be equal when one is the head but yet they are one.

I never knew that part of the bible was a curse to humanity that women should be submissive and men should love their wife. It therefore means the bible submission on marriage is a curse to humanity both that of Christ saying on the oneness of the church too. Hmmm! The bible must really be deceiving us so badly hence the need for our modern re-interpretation of the bible. This bible self!
Oh my God may i never die a non Catholic!

Felimax:
I never knew that part of the bible was a curse to humanity that women should be submissive and men should love their wife. It therefore means the bible submission on marriage is a curse to humanity both that of Christ saying on the oneness of the church too. Hmmm! The bible must really be deceiving us so badly hence the need for our modern re-interpretation of the bible. This bible self!
Oh my God may i never die a non Catholic!

The book never deceived anyone and this her is not an interpretation issue at all as the curse was placed by God in Genesis 3 vs 14 - 19. That is where God's curse on Adam and Eve,hence all of mankind, is written and it is clearly understood that God intended a curse by it.

God cursed woman(married) to be ruled over by her husband, and so it only applies to the marriage settjg as we see it to this day lived by the people of the world.

Bible didn't decieve men. Instead, Men allowed other men to deceive them in them in the name of God.