crackhaus:

Perhaps, and say you're right, isn't the absence of love a valid enough reason to end it?

Or should he go ahead and hope the love will grow as time progresses?

Remember also that his mother is against the marriage, so it's good time to avoid MIL and DIL iissues that will definitely come up later.



Lol, okay.

I think what he needs is time off from the relationship to think things through (to figure out what he really wants and feels), and not an abrupt breakup.

yomi007k:


This "be a man" statement don kill many men.

When they say be a man, they mean honour your word.

Happens on the regular.

theForth:

Big lie bro.

mariahAngel:


When they say be a man, they mean honour your word.

..she asked for his head, and the king kept his word as a man
..and so ended the tenure of John the Baptist..

Your fiancée might be diamond but it is never enough and talking about lifting another family is whole lotta of bull. You need to sort yourself out (and siblings to some extent) before even considering marriage.

crackhaus:

I just dey look you with one eye...

Anyhow though, your post is quite understandable given that you're more of a traditional woman in words, actions, and overall philosophy.

If I see statements like the above coming from our beloved pseudo-feminists and faux-modern women, I start laughing at the joke on reflex.


BTW, what did you mean by women developing men?

Are you referring to the generation of our mothers, or this modern set of over-entitled snowflaked wig-wearing social media addicts?

Should I lend you my glasses?

Women developing men no ni.

The women might get better jobs so groom the men to get top jobs, revamp his carriage, his spiritual life etc. etc.

The OP fall hand jare.

I think it was just a sexual relationship that progressed into marriage.

bukatyne:


Should I lend you my glasses?

Women developing men no ni.

The women might get better jobs so groom the men to get top jobs, revamp his carriage, his spiritual life etc. etc.

The OP fall hand jare.

I think it was just a sexual relationship that progressed into marriage.

Isn't it funny that while you listed out the ways women can develop men, you effectively left out stuff like sponsoring his education.

Xman12345goat

I should not have comment but I must tell you this.

Do not listen to the advice of your mother.

You have gone too far with this woman and there is no going back.

You have made a covenant with this young woman through sex and promised.

If you disappoint her and abandoned her now, it will release a curse opon your life.

If you betray and dump her, your action will release a curse upon your career.

If you break your marriage promised to her, your actions will spiritually brings curses to your life.

I have seen many men suffer curses because of the decision you are making now.

Mistake have consequences..

Do not fall for it
You ought to have thought about this long ago and not 8yrs later.
Does she live you for who you are or for the meal ticket?
Do not let anyone man you feel bad. From my experience in life, poor people can be very wicked and bad natured. I would not do it I I were you but I fortunately, you have paid her bride price. May you not for young after being milked thoroughly.

Dear Op,

I want to start by telling you that marriage is a serious business. Beyond emotions, beyond feelings there is more to these things. I took time to read all comments above and I'm shocked at how people make decisions based on sentiments, emotions and all that. Dear Doctor, you made a terrible mistake holding down a lady for 8 long years and paying her bride price after without knowing what Gods purpose for you in marriage is and who God wants you to live the rest of your life with..

You don't make marriage decisions just like that; you need to do some serious business with God to know your wife and be able to discern the woman for your destiny. i believe if you have done this, all these secondary things like finance, salary, education wouldn't be much of an issue. If God ever told you that here is your wife or husband and he or she is not what you wanted, maybe the person is broke, illiterate or by your standard not good enough, my brother so long as you are convinced you heard from God and there are people, maybe prayer partners through prayers bear witness to this too, i advice that you jump fully into it and move ahead. God knows your prepared future before you get there. One of the signs God gives is an unexplainable peace and joy. You can know that this one is for me.

Never make material things basis for making choices. Our human view can only see the present, it is not given unto men to see the future. This alone is why we need God to direct us cos he already knows how we end. I know people who had nothing before marriage but 5 - 10 years down the line, its abundance. i have also seen people who had plenty before marriage, few years down the line, its lack. i have also seen people who had and became richer, people who were poor and also became poorer. My point is simple, the fluctuations of life is one of the reason why God should inspire our decision making so we wont waste time living a destiny that's not ours. When you are in your path, you enjoy every resources God has placed there even before you were born so that life will be easier for you in that path; that's where you meet your destiny helper, people God placed to help you achieve your purpose which could be your spouse, some even total strangers or anyone but when you are in a path that's not yours, that provision you cant access it because it can only be accessed when in your own path.. Since you are not in your path, no space for you there. The provision is only for people on that path, let me use the word "budget''.. You were not included in that path, your budget was made on your own path. This is the mystery why some people appear to get things done easier than another, this is why its dangerous to live another person life, or follow people to do things because people are doing it. This is also the mystery why some things which destroy a lot of people was a reason why some experienced breakthrough... An issue that made a marriage park up maybe the same reason another person's marriage became stronger. One of the advantages of allowing God direct you is so that when challenges come, you can come boldly to go God to negotiate your bail out... Isaiah 41 vs 21 ''Produce your cause, saith the Lord; bring forth your strong reasons......'' Seriously go to God and find his purpose for you. If the lady is the one chosen for your destiny, please never hesitate to marry her; God will give you the wisdom to navigate your challenges, ideas to create wealth and the funds to provide for your home because he is the one who signed that marriage himself but if the lady is not meant for you, please sincerely break up with her fast as you will struggle all your life if you go ahead, it may not necessarily be money as you may stumble on money but their are other struggling in marriage beyond money that can kill a man. Brother, this is what you should have done since but its never late to seek God at all times. Shut down the noise in your heart, create a serene atmosphere within you and seriously seek God to help you make this choice.

This is what many people don't do before they go into marriages and few years down the line, they run out and start castigating marriage. Yet there are people who know this truth, lived it and still enjoying their marriages. Go ask them their secret, very sincere God fearing people will tell you that this is it.. For everything that's bad and terrible, there are still people succeeding there. Now, you can choose your side of divide by the mysteries you engage and know.

However abnormal this may read to the world, nothing beats sincerely allowing God (Holy Spirit) direct your path and inspire your choices; this is the key to greatness. Every great man you see have a supernatural power he listens to when making life changing decisions, it could be divination, enchantments, to the sons of light, it is the holy spirit which is a gift from our Lord God to help our weaknesses and imperfection; life is too complex to live it by your own brain, abilities and strength.. You will crash beyond your imagination. i recommend you sincerely let Jesus Christ into your life and allow his spirit direct you forever, only then will you know what to do.

Xman12345goat:
Good evening all, I am a medical doctor who just graduated about 5 years ago. I have completed my mandatory one year internship and NYSC program. I now work in a Federal medical Center in the East.

The reason why I created this topic is to seek advice on the risk of getting married into a very poor family. I love my girlfriend Chioma very well. I have been dating her for more than 8 years now and would like to settle down with her. I have met her family and paid her bride price.

The problem here is that she comes from a very poor family. Her dad is late and her mum is a petty trader. She is the first child and has six siblings. She is very beautiful, hardworking, God fearing but not educated. She only completed secondary school. Immediately after introduction, I kind of became the bread winner of her family and had to support in training her younger siblings in school not forgetting that am the first son/child of my own family and I have to cater for my own siblings too.

My mum is now bothered and wants me to call off the wedding and marry someone from a middle income family, at least some one with a degree certificate, am beginning to reason with her because of the nature of our economy, but I love chioma very much and I don't want to disappoint her.

If this story is true, then you messed up big time, i always advice pple to marry pple in their levels, chioma will never marry you if the tables were to be turned…. Love is never enough in marriage.. now you don rush go pay bride price
If you don’t quit now you will still quit later
Or struggle and die in silence while aging so fast
The ball is in your court bro
Peace