pocohantas:


Please keep quiet, you first-to-comment-politics-section-hoodlum. I said he asked me in Igbo. That should tell you I transcribed his question into English for the sake of non-Igbo readers. His question and my response were both in Igbo. Anything tribal, your antenna will just stand.

TarOrfeeek:



Someone saying "Nne" to you.

And you know he speaks your language

Like if a one chance thief says "Omo".

I'll then conclude that he speaks Yoruba.

False generalisation.

fatymore:
lol

Octopusssy:
Very very old format. I'm amazed they're still using the format.

The last time I was in their middle, I told them I was married to a Ghanaian and didn't really know my way around Lagos. Meanwhile I was buying time, waiting for them to get as close as possible to my nearest bus stop because no way in God's green earth was I going to pay for this particular trip.

I smiled serenely while the fools jabbered away in excitement (they thought they don catch maga), occasionally nodding my head in agreement to the horse shït they were spewing. The recurrent motif in their antics is the bewildered French man who doesn't know he is supposed to pay for services with Naira, not USD, or the more common fleeing thief who has fled with his oga's box/bag of dollars. They are willing to give you a cut but you must go to one baba's house to swear an oath of secrecy.

As soon as I got to Ikeja Along, I hopped out of the vehicle James Bond style, spread my two hands at them and shrieked waka!! The driver asked me for fare and I screamed "All of una dey craze. 419!!" I then proceeded to quickly cross the expressway like a seasoned NURTW thug and went on my merry way.

Hediots. Them wan scam Omo Eko. Their very fathers

Goalnaldo:
You are a gifted writer. I enjoyed your write up.

pocohantas:
“I have a bag of money, foreign currency…”



It is almost Christmas, evil men and women are on the prowl. Let’s all be careful and not drop our guards no matter how they disguise.

Octopusssy:
Very very old format. I'm amazed they're still using the format.

The last time I was in their middle, I told them I was married to a Ghanaian and didn't really know my way around Lagos. Meanwhile I was buying time, waiting for them to get as close as possible to my nearest bus stop because no way in God's green earth was I going to pay for this particular trip.

I smiled serenely while the fools jabbered away in excitement (they thought they don catch maga), occasionally nodding my head in agreement to the horse shït they were spewing. The recurrent motif in their antics is the bewildered French man who doesn't know he is supposed to pay for services with Naira, not USD, or the more common fleeing thief who has fled with his oga's box/bag of dollars. They are willing to give you a cut but you must go to one baba's house to swear an oath of secrecy.

As soon as I got to Ikeja Along, I hopped out of the vehicle James Bond style, spread my two hands at them and shrieked waka!! The driver asked me for fare and I screamed "All of una dey craze. 419!!" I then proceeded to quickly cross the expressway like a seasoned NURTW thug and went on my merry way.

Hediots. Them wan scam Omo Eko. Their very fathers

Kalubolt:
Lolz, all this ones still dey use olden days format.
My first experience with them I chop their #200 sara.
Back in 2000 I just finished secondary school and was looking for menial jobs before I take my jamb. I lived with my parents at Ojo town close to LASU.
So I went to mile 2 estate to look for work but didn't see any. Hunger and sun don hammer me wella. So as I was strolling at mile 2 Oke (up) a guy approached me and asked me if I knew where Apapa wharf is?
I angrily pointed at where wharf bus are loading and walked away from him.
.
I haven't even taking upto 10 steps another one approached me and asked me what that man was asking me (pointing to the first guy) I looked at him and immediately stories from my dad and mum about 419ers and their way of scamming people just entered my head. I strong my mind and decided to play along. I told the 2nd guy that he asked me where Apapa wharf is and I directed him where to get bus. He told me the guy has met him too and told him he just came back from Senegal and he has some goods at the wharf.
I smile within me and told myself "na dem".
.
I told him so, what do you want me to do? He said why don't we try to assist him maybe we will get something from there. I said ok let's go and meet him and hear what he has to say and what he can offer us. We both whistle the first guy to come and he quickly rush to where we were. So the discussion started. He has some large goods at the port worth millions of naira but needed money to clear them. Ehen! So you get goods worth millions and you no get kobo to clear them, na wao I said to him.
The other guy told me to calm down that it can happen to anyone.
I told him I know, that he should help him with the money nah.
.
He said he too doesn't have. I said ehen, if two of una wey be men and senior me by far no get money, na me 20yr old boy wey just finished secondary school go come get money. They said they know I may not have but don't I know where my father or mother keeps money. Immediately I answered them of course I know but no be my money nah. They said yes it's not my money but if I go and bring it and the clear the goods that after selling the goods they'll give me times 10 of the money. I rubbed my two hands with joy and clean my mouth exclaiming "wow this na good news o" I then told them I know where my dad and mum keeps plenty plenty money, that like how much should I bring? They said I should bring plenty if possible all of them.
.
I said no problem let me start going, they said yes that I should be fast that they will be here waiting for me (they pointed at one kiosk). After walking like 15 steps, I came back to where they were. They were like oboy wetin happen nah, why you come back? I told them make una no vex our place dey for Badagry and I no get transport like this. They then said wetin you come do for mile 2 wey be say na Badagry you dey stay and how you wan take go house before. I told them I came to look for job but I didn't see and that whenever I want to go home I used to beg conductors until anyone will help me home.
.
So they then said how much will I need to go to Badagry? I told them #200 will take me to and fro sharp sharp. They ask me again if I am sure I know where my mom and dad keeps money, I nodded saying very sure. So one of them gave me the #200. And said I should start going and be fast. I collected the money happily and came down from mile 2 Oke and pretended to enter bus going to Badagry cus they were watching me. The bus moved but as we were getting to Durbar junction of mile 2 estate, I told the driver to pls stop that I have forgotten something, hahaha.
.
The driver stopped and I came down walk straight to Iya Belgium food canteen hahahaha. Anybody who knows mile 2 very well or went to any of those secondary schools at Ecomog will know "Belgium Food canteen" it's still in existence till now.
Me I went to Belgium food canteen and wack to my satisfaction "telling them in my say na God go punish them". Me wey dem born for Lagos and I don dey waka waka since I was 10yrs old na im wan stupid people wan scam and put for trouble. I reach area in the evening go explain to my guys, na laugh we just dey laugh thru out that night.

2braithe:


If you know it's "lol" you want to reply with, don't bother replying.

fatymore:
lol

Octopusssy:

Bushmeat catch the hunter.

But guy, wetin you dey look wey you enter 20 years in secondary school?

2braithe:


During that period, that's the average age people finish.

Unlike now that a 14 year old is writing JAMB

Octopusssy:

Bushmeat catch the hunter.

But guy, wetin you dey look wey you enter 20 years in secondary school?

Octopusssy:

Bushmeat catch the hunter.

But guy, wetin you dey look wey you enter 20 years in secondary school?

Kalubolt:

Abeg eh Octopussy, I have been reading from this forum for over 15yrs but just got registered last year and started commenting this year. I am big time story teller but real and fiction, and they are very very interesting. Pls how do one make a post on this forum and which section best fit it

Kalubolt:

Hahahaha, actually I finish secondary school in 1998 but still waiting for admission till 2001 before I got admitted into Auchi Poly.

Octopusssy:

2000 was almost around the same time I finished too, and trust me, the average age was 16, not 20.

Octopusssy:

https://www.nairaland.com/literature

pocohantas:

Please keep quiet, you first-to-comment-politics-section-hoodlum. I said he asked me in Igbo. That should tell you I transcribed his question into English for the sake of non-Igbo readers. His question and my response were both in Igbo. Anything tribal, your antenna will just stand.

2braithe:


Which one is big legs?
Yam leg is yam leg biko

BKsoul:
You for kuku say we dey suffer elephantiasis.... ori e ti daru...

Southfynest:
Damn Nigarr guy aka slawomir is not a street boy o... How street boy dey drag first page for Nairaland morning to night.


Na one jobless fellow wey go likely still dey for e mama house.

Octopusssy:

If they are not using jazz then it is only greed and naivete that can make you fall into their trap

OLDESTWARRIBOY:
Back in 2008 or 09 there about, they got my sister. Shit wasn't funny

She was hypnotized, she came home looking stress & anxious went to where my mom hides her money (which no one in the house knew about). She took the money and Japa!!

She later came back crying saying she couldn't stop herself and they were the ones who told her where the money is!!

OP, you are lucky.. thanks to God. Hope you will be dropping a new cooking tutorial soon to celebrate!!

2braithe:


Really??

If you had said 18,then I might agree.