Stay single and enjoy the bliss.

tujays:
nonsense. I still don't know why my dad didn't divorce my mom until the whole drama leads to his early death at 41. as a kid I thought my dad was at fault coz I see my mom always nagging at him for having a side chick. she never accepted or agrees to his decisions, acted as If she's the man of the house even though my dad was doing well as a NNPC staff. to cut long story short he died at 41. and I think it was due my mom always praying laying curses and visiting pastors to pray against the spirit of womanizing Instead of focusing on adjusting on the reasons why my dad find side chick more appealing. I swore never to allow any woman lead me to my early grave. my mom would always say she's In the marriage because of her Children I call Bullshit. coz sticking to my dad affected my psyche. my advice never stay in a marriage thats have lost respect and affection.

Hell knows no fury than a scorned woman. Even if she was not perfect before the side chicks, but trust me your dad brought out the beast in her after the side chicks event. Who likes a rival!? I dont know the full gist, but this is my humble submission

NairaMaster1:


But you won't work out of your job no matter what?

I like ur view. Exactly, they can endure for Africa because of the paycheck but rant about what the cant even attempt to do. Every body na jet li online

ethicallyright:
Yes, if you do not mind if the kids would grow to become abusive or risk being beaten to death one day.

It is instinctive for a smart mammal to put his/her offspring first.

More Cubs die of infanticide perpetuated by big cats and other carnivores of their kind than any other reason because these animals can never raise another Cat's cub.

This means that no matter how kind a step-parent is, they can never love a step-child more than their biological child.

If step-kids are maltreated and discriminated in polygamous marriages where their mothers are still present, what do you think will happen when they live with a new wife who knows that their mother is no longer in the picture?

Smart parents try to resolve their differences for the long-term good of their kids and it is an intelligent step towards self-preservation.

But if the marriage has broken down irretrievably, the separated spouse who takes custody of the children must place the safety and comfortability of the kids first.

That means, the separated parent must make it clear to the new spouse that he/she will not tolerate abuse of her existing kids in the new relationship. The parent must act on his/her word if the kids are abused.

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Disclaimer

As a bachelor avoid marrying a single mother who makes it clear that she values her existing children more than you because she'll love them more than your own children when she gives birth to them.

As a bachelor avoid marrying a single mother whose ex-husband or baby-father is still alive because she'll always be attracted to him because they share a child.

As a bachelor avoid marrying a single mother whose ex-husband is dead because what killed the ex-husband may kill you too.

You bad.your two submissions on single moms would leave them without husband till eternity.

brownemmanuel43:

Yes u are absolutely right, Love is good and beautiful. Mind u, we are talking about Nigerian love and I have come to realise that Nigerian love has being one sided.
Who is ready to sacrifice for love in this century?

I agree. I think genuine love between couples in Nigeria is hard to find. The typical woman is looking for a man with money and the typical man is looking for a beautiful woman with a sexy body. Not many focus on choosing a partner based on the core of who they are

Nigerian relationships are typically driven by lust and money not love

BadRadio:
I hear people say things like " If not for the kids, I will abandon this marriage"... what does this mean? Will a person have to endure and tolerate an abusive spouse because of the kids?


What are your thoughts on this?

No woman or man deserves to be in an abusive marriage

A situation where the woman is helpless and depends on the man, if she is in an abusive marriage and she have kids, she will be too helpless to move out with the children, probably she can't take care of them

That's just one good reason you see women saying because of her children, she endures all the pains, especially the emotional ones

But where she is capable, so far she can take good care of them, such women moves on with the children

It's either the man changes and pleads with her to come back or he too moves on

In some men's case, where the men are equally in abusive marriage, if he can't cope, he may move out of the house to any where he can find peace

Understanding each other is one of the problems couples are not getting it right

No marriage is sweet, they all have bitter taste

bepositive11:


I agree. I think genuine love between couples in Nigeria is hard to find. The typical woman is looking for a man with money and the typical man is looking for a beautiful woman with a sexy body. Not many focus on choosing a partner based on the core of who they are

Nigerian relationships are typically driven by lust and money not love

At this juncture, your last paragraph has summoned it all. I wish everybody well in their marriages

The kids are good enough reason to leave an abusive marriage.

BadRadio:
I hear people say things like " If not for the kids, I will abandon this marriage"... what does this mean? Will a person have to endure and tolerate an abusive spouse because of the kids?


What are your thoughts on this?

If the abuse is a threat to the partners life is very ok and necessary to live immediately despite the children. A good co parenting arrangement can be worked out by the court.

Only a living partner can be there for the children.