I am tempted to write this after seeing this thread by 22o62021 and here is the link: https://www.nairaland.com/6819016/new-girlfriend-went-back-abusive

You see, threads like this will ALWAYS pop up once a while but they hardly do justice to underlying problems, aside from saying women are confused or that they love bad boys. And the OP did just that as a concluding paragraph.

Over the years, we are forced to say or think that girls like bad boys and that they don't like nice guys...

Then came to the idea of alpha males and red pills, which does not do much justice to fixing this problem because you will find yourself trying to become what you not naturally configured to be, at least it was the case for me until I did a self re-evaluation.

In order to understand this age-long-but-never-ending complex between men and women in the dating sphere, we have to understand one natural fact and that is: WOMEN AND MEN ARE DIFFERENT anatomically, physiologically, and primarily, biologically.

This means that we see the world DIFFERENTLY and no amount of epistle from threads dedicated to RedPill or Alpha Male will change that.

Therefore, it is better you understand how women see men in dating and what fuels their decisions on who to go for and whom to dump, failing to understand these basic principles will keep making you whining like a baby.

In my own little space, I have tested being "bad" guy VS being "nice" guy and I can tell you for a fact that, one common factor stand out in both cases, which is how you present yourself to any girl is VERY important.

22o62021 said he treated the girl with good, spent money and did what is humanly expected of us and what did he get in return? The girl went back to the bad guy.

There is a movie I came across once. It is titled "The Last American Virgin" It is a very old movie but you need to watch it, there might be some copies on YouTube.

In that movie, just like 22o62021 experienced, a guy (LET'S call him loverboy) liked this girl but his friend quickly overtook him to get the girl.

Lover boy was still catching feelings despite the fact that his friend is dating the girl and had even furked her many times... Somehow, she got pregnant and guess what? Her boyfriend rejected her and the pregnancy.

Do you know who came to the rescue? You guessed right. Our super hero in person of Loverboy. It was the end of their semester and he took this girl to his family house, scraped everywhere, worked extra hours and RAISED money for her medical needs to have an abortion. She had the abortion, loverboy fed, sheltered her and clothed her.

At the start of their semester was her birthday and loverboy decided to surprise her with gift... as he entered the hall of the party, guess whose hands were wrapped around her with her chin on his shoulder? Yeah, the boyfriend that rejected her and the pregnancy. The movie ended there with a song "I tried my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough..." and it shattered everyone watching it... it has been long but I still feel the effect of that movie.

Women do not respond to kind gesture the way we men would expect because that is not what makes you look like a real man in their eyes, it is counterproductive in most cases to even present yourself that way. It is the reason for why they always dump men with all their niceness, which men by default, expect them to choose them over the guy that treat them like crap.

Being nice to women does not count as a top reason for why they will choose to date you and if any, it will possibly be at the bottom of the list of their parameters on which they decide whom to date.

Have you ever wondered why a girl will furk a guy that is broke despite haveing a nice boyfriend? I ask this because some guys on nairaland think they can tie women down with money or she won't cheat.

In a setting where there are two guys going after a girl, the guy that presents himself well will get the girl not because of money or niceness.

Do women hate or dislike nice guys? If you say YES to this question and clinch to the usual redpill and alpha male ideology, you have lost 90% of chances to really understand what fuels or drives women.

Women do not dislike nice guys but they dislike men who do NOT EXUDE their masculinity. Basically, what is sold as "Alpha Male" or "RedPill" is masculinity packaged as Alpha Male or RedPill.

Okay...


You seem to not have understood the situation, OP. Women admire brutality; they prefer who treats them with hardness to any MNG who'd cuddle and cherish them all their lives.

This is not in alignment to societal views, but a fact which observations of Affective Science and reoccurrence have made valid. A woman will view her harsh man with respect and awe, but would covertly, but most importantly, indeliberately disregard the Nice Guy.

Anthropology suggests that the Woman's emotions are very complex, as it changes frequently in correspondence to environment.
It's not as if she would abhor the Good Man, but emotions, consequently, will make her feel so. When she is in need of cuddles and warmth, she prefers the nice, smiling guy, but whenever her sexual urges set in, which at all times do, her lustful drives would coarse her into the bed of the monstrous man.

Bottom line is this: Sexual desires and expectations, distorted belief of being more secure and respected with him are the reasons why the higher percentage of women would choose the Bad Boy.

What do I mean?

Many years ago, I was young and barely experienced in all of these. So, I came back from school one day to meet with my then girlfriend in our area, just a few distance from my house at a junction but close to an MTN mast. We had just reached there and barely 10 minutes when a man came from nowhere and asked us what were we doing there.

The man should be in his 40s or 50s then. He started raising his voice while we were still trying to explain and I was taking things too calmly. My then girlfriend tried to explain even more than me and before my eyes, this man slapped her. I was too concerned about being embarrassed or harrassed and trying to "respect" the man than even know what to do...and we somehow left there, without saying much to each other. I was trying to apologize to her and some other unmanly things. She didn't say much.

You know what? That incident destroyed my already shaky relationship with her. Why? I failed to exhibit my masculinity and protect her by allowing that man to slap her. She never forgot that incident and I never understood her. Few years ago, just before she got married, she recounted that history. I said I would have dealt with that man do you know her response? She said "What would you have done" with an expression that translate to "see this weakling". You see, it is not spending money on a girl in this story that count... The question is CAN YOU PROTECT HER? This is one of the top factors that women consider and I failed woefully in that case.

Most of you study this Alpha Male and redpill solely dedicated towards how to handle women BUT, what those who invented this shiit do not tell you is that majority of the problems that you will encounter in life, 90% of the time, will be caused by MEN... so, what would you do in such case? Like the story I shared about the man that slapped my ex.

Going back to the caveman days, women choose their man based on their strength, ability to hunt and standout among other men, not by how "NICE" he has been to her and that has not changed much about them.

Always factor this in!

When you want to date a woman, the kind of signals (women pick signals more than you realize) that you give out will determine where she would place you. In fact, this is how they decide whether to friendzone you or date you. So, if you do not want to be friendzone or ghosted, be careful of the kind of signals that you give out.

It is how you present yourself to a girl that will result in how she will respect or disrespect you. iF you want to be the top choice of any women, your presentation matters a lot. Your signals matter a lot.

That special girl you re pamperinq like egg. . . other guys are fryin her
men be wise. .

This your opinion doesn't translate general

This is no general blueprint in the dating game,

For the fact that this work for you, doesn't translate it will work for the other

Is let's for us to individually figure out what works for us and implement it

Kukuma book all the space for the 1st page na.

Mtchewwwww

Botking:
This your opinion doesn't translate general

This is no general blueprint in the dating game,

For the fact that this work for you, doesn't translate it will work for the other

Is let's for us to individually figure out what works for us and implement it

shut up

I enjoyed your essay bro

I’m learning a lot from this my experience

Thanks to everyone that contributed

NiceMen:
Therefore, it is better you understand how women see men in dating and what fuels their decisions on who to go for and whom to dump, failing to understand these basic principles will keep making you whining like a baby.

In my own little space, I have tested being "bad" guy VS being "nice" guy and I can tell you for a fact that, one common factor stand out in both cases, which is how you present yourself to any girl is VERY important.

22o62021 said he treated the girl with good, spent money and did what is humanly expected of us and what did he get in return? The girl went back to the bad guy.

There is a movie I came across once. It is titled "The Last American Virgin" It is a very old movie but you need to watch it, there might be some copies on YouTube.

In that movie, just like 22o62021 experienced, a guy (LET'S call him loverboy) liked this girl but his friend quickly overtook him to get the girl.

Lover boy was still catching feelings despite the fact that his friend is dating the girl and had even furked her many times... Somehow, she got pregnant and guess what? Her boyfriend rejected her and the pregnancy.

Do you know who came to the rescue? You guessed right. Our super hero in person of Loverboy. It was the end of their semester and he took this girl to his family house, scraped everywhere, worked extra hours and RAISED money for her medical needs to have an abortion. She had the abortion, loverboy fed, sheltered her and clothed her.

At the start of their semester was her birthday and loverboy decided to surprise her with gift... as he entered the hall of the party, guess whose hands were wrapped around her with her chin on his shoulder? Yeah, the boyfriend that rejected her and the pregnancy. The movie ended there with a song "I tried my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough..." and it shattered everyone watching it... it has been long but I still feel the effect of that movie.

Women do not respond to kind gesture the way we men would expect because that is not what makes you look like a real man in their eyes, it is counterproductive in most cases to even present yourself that way. It is the reason for why they always dump men with all their niceness, which men by default, expect them to choose them over the guy that treat them like crap.

Being nice to women does not count as a top reason for why they will choose to date you and if any, it will possibly be at the bottom of the list of their parameters on which they decide whom to date.

Have you ever wondered why a girl will furk a guy that is broke despite haveing a nice boyfriend? I ask this because some guys on nairaland think they can tie women down with money or she won't cheat.

In a setting where there are two guys going after a girl, the guy that presents himself well will get the girl not because of money or niceness.

Do women hate or dislike nice guys? If you say YES to this question and clinch to the usual redpill and alpha male ideology, you have lost 90% of chances to really understand what fuels or drives women.

Women do not dislike nice guys but they dislike men who do NOT EXUDE their masculinity. Basically, what is sold as "Alpha Male" or "RedPill" is masculinity packaged as Alpha Male or RedPill.

They love to date good guys and cheat on them with bad guys. Na normal levels na

Botking:
This your opinion doesn't translate general

This is no general blueprint in the dating game,

For the fact that this work for you, doesn't translate it will work for the other

Is let's for us to individually figure out what works for us and implement it

Even for the ones you think won't mess you up will mess you up... They are wired in a way that men do not understand...

Bad boys= Daring, not religious(in some cases), love bad sex, talks nasty, will do the “bad” things we do eg smoke, etc

NOT

Bad boy; misogynist, aggressive, lazy, worthless, hyper masculine etc


Alpha males are unattractive, broke, insecure boys who have had to go through multiple rejections and now they depend on other men(who give them bad advice about how to deal with or avoid this rejection) for consolation.

Too long

Kissmyassbiach:
Bad boys= Daring, not religious(in some cases), love bad sex, talks nasty, will do the “bad” things we do eg smoke, etc

NOT

Bad boy; misogynist, aggressive, lazy, worthless, hyper masculine etc


Alpha males are unattractive, broke, insecure boys who have had to go through multiple rejections and now they depend on other men(who give them bad advice about how to deal with or avoid this rejection) for consolation.

Please, I will like you to define or categorize the above as it pertains to masculinity or being a man... a lot these guys have forgotten what it means to be a man and this is what is causing problem in dating women in general.

NiceMen:


Please, I will like you to define or categorize the above as it pertains to masculinity or being a man... a lot these guys have forgotten what it means to be a man and this is what is causing problem in dating women in general.

I’m not in the position to determine what type of “masculinity” is good or acceptable. Men come in different forms. But the idea that every man must be dominant, hyper masculine, aggressive etc is very sick. These niggas will be on the internet talking about how a “real man” should be, but nobody has the right to tell anyone they’re not “man” enough. It really takes nothing to be a decent human being. If a girl doesn’t want you, she won’t want you. They can put up all the facade they want.

Women are not different from men in choosing whatever beneficiary to them, (Oga with strong character, but not denying u promotion and other benefits and the one who is supposedly nice, smiling at you all time, but promotion and other benefits are not forthcoming, which one between them you would choose as man in this regard?)

2. The guys you termed abusive, did u guys ever asked for once, what warranted the abuse from guys? What about girl behavior?

3. Meanwhile, Factors that determine who to choose in relationships are many than being nice alone as many guys think of it on this faceless form, (outlooks, financial strength, education, Fame, ready for marriage and of course sex skill) on many occasions guy would be shouting he is being nice, what other areas where you performed awkward? Where the so called un-nice guy better than you??