frozen70:


To be honest, you are just fighting yourself and it looks like you finds it difficult to forgive

I was thinking your wife is messing up while married to you, I never knew that you are talking about the life style she lived while in school

You can go ahead and live the knd of life that you want, without any hindrances or permission, after all it's your life

Forgive what please, did the young woman cheat on him, the answer is NO... I hate having a conversation with a stup*d man, allow him to mess up the little comfort he found through the young girl

Raalsalghul:
Op, the mistake you made was getting married in your peak.

You should have taken like five years break once you became successful to navigate and understand the world of women: explore, travel and enjoy the good things that life has to offer.

Your wife used her peak to live the life of the party: socializing, having fun at parties and careless sex (who knows), going on dates .

In your case, you spent the majority of your youth toiling to develop yourself due to your humble background, you've attained relative success (your own peak); it only makes sense you have your own fun too instead you're now weighed down by marriage responsibilities and feeling cheated.

You should have thought about this before saying your wedding vows.

One more thing, if your wife is the supportive type given her family background, then drop this anger and see how you can make it work. You're in, you're in.

You are quite sensible. You won't find it hard with people special with women

boss I love your ideology the op is right, theres this girl I dated very bad, she now sends me pictures of the mugu she's going to marry

Akathriel:


This is the only sensible comment on this thread.

You know, it is disheartening that 90% of Nairalanders follow the heard mentality.

Open any thread on Nairaland, especially those on the front page. You would notice that the first person’s comment is ALWAYS echoed by the other comments that follow that comment.

If the first comment on any thread abuses the subject or OP of that thread, the rest of the assholes too would follow suit.

If the first comment on any thread praises the subject or the OP, the rest of the Dundees too will follow suit.

You know why? Secondary School Children & brain-dead nonentities have hijacked Nairaland.

This is the reason I have drastically reduced my engagements on Nairaland, because I can’t be wasting my time & energy arguing with nonentities that are not even up to 23years of age.

Now, back to the topic.

Several assholes said via “re-echoing” (because one asshole already mentioned it) that there’s nothing to gain in what the OP wants to do.

If there’s nothing to gain in it, why then are the vast majority of Nigerians indulging in it?

Or isn’t our society no longer a reflection of we the people?

I am angry because 99% of these bastards telling the OP otherwise are doing way worse behind closed doors.

I am not blaming the OP’s wife for her wayward lifestyle in school but the OP too deserves some fun. In fact, he should explore.

Using God to cage or scare anybody doesn’t work anymore in this useless Country.

After all, we all agree that “Life No Balance”

I hate cheating in my life. And if you must scold me or accuse me of anything in my life, then just make sure your own yansh too no get shit.

I will not judge you and I will never scold you but make sure you come with your clean yansh - if you must do it to me.

I am more pained because I know that the OP’s wife can never EVER change.

Once an Olosho, always an Olosho - especially all these useless Nigeria Oloshos.

If you have fvcked any one of them before, you would know how damaged and irredeemable these greedy & covetous ladies are.

One was telling me the other day, that the last guy who fvcked her based on hook up smoked SK or Colorado (I can’t remember) and the guy fvcked her “roughly” for over an hour without ejaculating . She said she was crying & begging the guy that she was tired and could no longer take it.

The guy did not listen, and was just pounding away until he ejaculated.

She said when she was going home in the morning after collecting her 10k for the hookup, she started crying. And this girl does hookup like 4 times a week.

She equally told me that one day, she got a hookup on another day and after they already agreed on price, when she got to the guy’s house (a one-room apartment with rug smelling & oozing due to water that poured on the rug).

The guy has tattoos all over his body and lives with his friend and then told her both of them would fvck her for 5k. She got up angrily and left and it was already late around 11pm in Ijebu-ode.

The Vigilantes were already out and parading for security. They held her and wanted to rape her. One of the security guards from a nearby house came to her rescue and lied to the Vigilantes that he was her boyfriend and that she came looking for him.

That was how that girl followed the security guard into his shed and the guy slept with her all through and never paid her a kobo.

She said she had to allow the guy to sleep with her because it was better than being raped by over 15 Vigilante men.

This is just two out of about 5 events she told me. If not that I was high on alcohol that night, I nearly wept for her - seriously.

Please, just imagine how all these useless & uncultured Yahoo Boys must have damaged her.

I really felt for her.

Now, I want you to imagine the unfortunate guy that will now settle down & marry this kinda Olosho.

Please tell me, why won’t the OP feel cheated?

Omo, if I no see the woman I am craving for to marry, I swear, I go just dey born throway dey go - because for Naija now, 96% of all the women na Olosho dem be (including the married ones).

You can take my word to the bank.

Did i hear you say past? if yes then there is nothing you should worry about. yesterday is gone and gone forever.

There is no basis for your anger towards your wife.

She has not exhibited anything that will bring crises to your life.

It's her PAST.

Can someone in this honourable platform, buy a bottle of cold Gulder for the OP?

Raalsalghul:
Op, the mistake you made was getting married in your peak.

You should have taken like five years break once you became successful to navigate and understand the world of women: explore, travel and enjoy the good things that life has to offer.

Your wife used her peak to live the life of the party: socializing, having fun at parties and careless sex (who knows), going on dates .

In your case, you spent the majority of your youth toiling to develop yourself due to your humble background, you've attained relative success (your own peak); it only makes sense you have your own fun too instead you're now weighed down by marriage responsibilities and feeling cheated.

You should have thought about this before saying your wedding vows.

One more thing, if your wife is the supportive type given her family background, then drop this anger and see how you can make it work. You're in, you're in.

Remember I said something similar to this on the redpill thread that while majority of men are busy reading, hustling, praying and fasting to climb the social ladder, their female counterparts are busy enjoying life to the fullest BECAUSE they know deep down their heart, there is a man far out there hustling to make their future better.
It is a crazy world.
Reason while many married men are cheating because most reach their financial peak when they are shackled down with marriage.

LiegeMan:
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me

hello nairalanders,

Sorry to disturb your peace but this has been going on in my mind for long and I really need suggestions on how to overcome it. I gave in to ire/anger and it's gradually taking the best part of me since I made a little discovery about my wife's past and how she lived her life while in the campus. I will try and make it as snappy as possible in order not to make you spend much of your time on my case.

Now, it goes this way, my wife came from a middle class family and she attended one of the best and prestigious higher institutions in the country, they're not too rich and they're not poor, infact, their family name can't be in the same sentence with poverty. She had everything she needed and lived her life to the fullest while in the campus, she flirted with and dated the best guys in the campus, she visited many night clubs and other exuberant and flamboyant life style that pertains to the campus.

Now on my own part, I attended one of the Colleges of Education that littered our country,
I did everything all by myself, I sponsored myself throughout my stay in the college, I did all manner of odd jobs to survive, sometimes, I would miss lectures due to lack of cash, no one to assist, all these limitations made me not to pay attention towards the opposite sex as I was busy struggling to survive and hoping unto God for a miracle.

Right now, all I am feeling is anger, ire, all I want now is vengeance knowing fully well that while I was suffering and struggling to survive, fasting without praying, carrying bricks and block from one floor to the other, jumping from one market to the other hawking my wares, that my wife was busy somewhere enjoying and partying away her future, right now, I want to have my revenge, I want to live those life that I wasn't opportune to live, I want to flirt and have fun with many ladies both young and old, I want to visit as many night clubs as possible now that money is flowing in, I careless about the consequences and how she may feel, these are exactly what I'm feeling now.

this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice.

My brother anger is not what you are feeling its called jealousy, how can you get angry at the life your wife once lived before she met you? Is she still living that kind of life now? Why you come dey vex? Na jealousy dey worry u. Go church go cast that spirit out of you before you loose it all.

LiegeMan:
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me

hello nairalanders,

Sorry to disturb your peace but this has been going on in my mind for long and I really need suggestions on how to overcome it. I gave in to ire/anger and it's gradually taking the best part of me since I made a little discovery about my wife's past and how she lived her life while in the campus. I will try and make it as snappy as possible in order not to make you spend much of your time on my case.

Now, it goes this way, my wife came from a middle class family and she attended one of the best and prestigious higher institutions in the country, they're not too rich and they're not poor, infact, their family name can't be in the same sentence with poverty. She had everything she needed and lived her life to the fullest while in the campus, she flirted with and dated the best guys in the campus, she visited many night clubs and other exuberant and flamboyant life style that pertains to the campus.

Now on my own part, I attended one of the Colleges of Education that littered our country,
I did everything all by myself, I sponsored myself throughout my stay in the college, I did all manner of odd jobs to survive, sometimes, I would miss lectures due to lack of cash, no one to assist, all these limitations made me not to pay attention towards the opposite sex as I was busy struggling to survive and hoping unto God for a miracle.

Right now, all I am feeling is anger, ire, all I want now is vengeance knowing fully well that while I was suffering and struggling to survive, fasting without praying, carrying bricks and block from one floor to the other, jumping from one market to the other hawking my wares, that my wife was busy somewhere enjoying and partying away her future, right now, I want to have my revenge, I want to live those life that I wasn't opportune to live, I want to flirt and have fun with many ladies both young and old, I want to visit as many night clubs as possible now that money is flowing in, I careless about the consequences and how she may feel, these are exactly what I'm feeling now.

this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice.

You didn't state in ur write up if u were already dating during the time u said u were going thru hardship. From my understanding u didn't even know her then, all u know about her you were told!
The question u shud ask urself is if she is faithful to u now or still living that kind of life. If say u want to do all u said in the name of vengeance, guy u will kill urself and another man will marry the and f*ck her even on top of ur grave! Everybody has a past u were only unlucky u had the type of past u had plus she was not the cause of ur hardship back then. Bros just let the past be in the past and enjoy ur marriage. U don't know the kind of life the next girl would have lived. If she is faithful and fulfilling all her responsibilitiea as a wife pls brush that thought off ur mind.

LiegeMan:
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me

hello nairalanders,

Sorry to disturb your peace but this has been going on in my mind for long and I really need suggestions on how to overcome it. I gave in to ire/anger and it's gradually taking the best part of me since I made a little discovery about my wife's past and how she lived her life while in the campus. I will try and make it as snappy as possible in order not to make you spend much of your time on my case.

Now, it goes this way, my wife came from a middle class family and she attended one of the best and prestigious higher institutions in the country, they're not too rich and they're not poor, infact, their family name can't be in the same sentence with poverty. She had everything she needed and lived her life to the fullest while in the campus, she flirted with and dated the best guys in the campus, she visited many night clubs and other exuberant and flamboyant life style that pertains to the campus.

Now on my own part, I attended one of the Colleges of Education that littered our country,
I did everything all by myself, I sponsored myself throughout my stay in the college, I did all manner of odd jobs to survive, sometimes, I would miss lectures due to lack of cash, no one to assist, all these limitations made me not to pay attention towards the opposite sex as I was busy struggling to survive and hoping unto God for a miracle.

Right now, all I am feeling is anger, ire, all I want now is vengeance knowing fully well that while I was suffering and struggling to survive, fasting without praying, carrying bricks and block from one floor to the other, jumping from one market to the other hawking my wares, that my wife was busy somewhere enjoying and partying away her future, right now, I want to have my revenge, I want to live those life that I wasn't opportune to live, I want to flirt and have fun with many ladies both young and old, I want to visit as many night clubs as possible now that money is flowing in, I careless about the consequences and how she may feel, these are exactly what I'm feeling now.

this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice.

If you took your action, youll be the greatest mumu in Nigeria if not in Africa.
Did betray you with her past?
Were you in her life then?
Did she cheat on you in her past?

If the answer to this is NO, you are the most stupid man in existence. Move on with your life and enjoy the best of its goodness

Lollittaa:
it's "normal" to see Nigerian men envious of their wives successes. Not surprised.
OP, your poor parents who probably had more kids than they could care for, robbed you of the good life. Not your wife's fault.
I'm sure it's not about her life in the past but the fact that even at the present, her family still comes through for her, from time to time, I won't be surprised if she's the one feeding you and the kids, and it's puncturing your ego. So, go ahead, party away your marriage.

And it's Normal for u to always sound senseless.

Almost all the comments on this thread have been from 'nigerian men' condemning and insulting the guy's but, ur bitter and frustrated self will always come and spill trash.

LiegeMan:
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me

hello nairalanders,

Sorry to disturb your peace but this has been going on in my mind for long and I really need suggestions on how to overcome it. I gave in to ire/anger and it's gradually taking the best part of me since I made a little discovery about my wife's past and how she lived her life while in the campus. I will try and make it as snappy as possible in order not to make you spend much of your time on my case.

Now, it goes this way, my wife came from a middle class family and she attended one of the best and prestigious higher institutions in the country, they're not too rich and they're not poor, infact, their family name can't be in the same sentence with poverty. She had everything she needed and lived her life to the fullest while in the campus, she flirted with and dated the best guys in the campus, she visited many night clubs and other exuberant and flamboyant life style that pertains to the campus.

Now on my own part, I attended one of the Colleges of Education that littered our country,
I did everything all by myself, I sponsored myself throughout my stay in the college, I did all manner of odd jobs to survive, sometimes, I would miss lectures due to lack of cash, no one to assist, all these limitations made me not to pay attention towards the opposite sex as I was busy struggling to survive and hoping unto God for a miracle.

Right now, all I am feeling is anger, ire, all I want now is vengeance knowing fully well that while I was suffering and struggling to survive, fasting without praying, carrying bricks and block from one floor to the other, jumping from one market to the other hawking my wares, that my wife was busy somewhere enjoying and partying away her future, right now, I want to have my revenge, I want to live those life that I wasn't opportune to live, I want to flirt and have fun with many ladies both young and old, I want to visit as many night clubs as possible now that money is flowing in, I careless about the consequences and how she may feel, these are exactly what I'm feeling now.

this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice.

Be proud of building yourself up to where you are today. Don't waste time comparing yourself to your wife

But why did you get married? Do you even love your wife? You have a very wicked and selfish heart

I always say this. When you try to get revenge, you lose yourself in the process. At the end of the day, you will be the biggest loser. You may think that you're hurting your wife but you're hurting yourself even more

Your thinking is even illogical. Your wife doesn't owe you anything. She got lucky to be born into a stable family but you didn't.

Raalsalghul:


You still don't understand the Op.

Most guys here don’t understand the guy’s feeling nor do the women here care about it.
The reason for this man’s anger is - Why is he paying a premium for something other guys have gotten cheaply.
The guys that have all slept with is wife took her to bed with maybe drinks, little money, small gifts etc just to get laid with her while he will have to work his asses up all throughout his life to keep her else she will leave.
He is paying far too much for what he is getting.
While he was busy hustling so as to get a good woman, the woman was busy enjoying her life.
He feels cheated - Simple.
It is like working all your life, making savings and even collecting cooperative loans add join all just to buy a car and after buying the car with all your sacrifices just to know that others used it for next to nothing.
Others have over used the car, damaged it (accidental) but already panelbeated, another used it for one year for a small fee of 50k and now you have been deceived to pick such a useless over used Nigerian 1995 model car up for 5m naira with a yearly maintenance of 2m minimum.
Most won’t understand.

slickycee:
OP
Life no balance.
Everybody knows that already.

It has already been said here, you married at your peak which made you to assume marital responsibilities

Which makes it look like you've been suffering all your life
As if you're the guy who never gets pampered or allowed to rest
From one challenge to another.


It's okay to feel angry and resentful

But it's only a feeling , don't let it get the best out of you.

Devil just wan tempt you.


I feel what you should do now, is to live the type of life you want !!!!

Live your life for yourself !!!

Yes you're married, you're also the head of your house, so you decide how things should go

Your wife hasn't done you wrong by her lifestyle in the past , so be very considerate in your actions.

If you trust her and she's wise, talk to her about your anger and regrets, she will tell what you both can do, to have a joyful time in your marriage.

My brother, self love heals all wounds.

Treat your self like a king , you don't have to die for anyone.
There's no award or plaque for being a good person.
People may never understand what you've been through or what it feels to have your life, but they don't have To.

Whatever you think about yourself will eventually become true

Yes you've been through a lot , but you're not a victim, you're a survivor !!

Your past made you this great , it didn't destroy you or made you give so now use this feeling to give yourself the best life you can give.


Always put yourself First
That's Self love .


I hope you forgive yourself and make peace with your past.

Please enjoy your marriage while you still have it

I agree with your stance on self love, but I don't agree with always putting yourself first, especially when you are a husband and a father. As long as putting others ahead of you won't hurt you, I think it's only right to know when sacrifices need to be made

LiegeMan:
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me

hello nairalanders,

Sorry to disturb your peace but this has been going on in my mind for long and I really need suggestions on how to overcome it. I gave in to ire/anger and it's gradually taking the best part of me since I made a little discovery about my wife's past and how she lived her life while in the campus. I will try and make it as snappy as possible in order not to make you spend much of your time on my case.

Now, it goes this way, my wife came from a middle class family and she attended one of the best and prestigious higher institutions in the country, they're not too rich and they're not poor, infact, their family name can't be in the same sentence with poverty. She had everything she needed and lived her life to the fullest while in the campus, she flirted with and dated the best guys in the campus, she visited many night clubs and other exuberant and flamboyant life style that pertains to the campus.

Now on my own part, I attended one of the Colleges of Education that littered our country,
I did everything all by myself, I sponsored myself throughout my stay in the college, I did all manner of odd jobs to survive, sometimes, I would miss lectures due to lack of cash, no one to assist, all these limitations made me not to pay attention towards the opposite sex as I was busy struggling to survive and hoping unto God for a miracle.

Right now, all I am feeling is anger, ire, all I want now is vengeance knowing fully well that while I was suffering and struggling to survive, fasting without praying, carrying bricks and block from one floor to the other, jumping from one market to the other hawking my wares, that my wife was busy somewhere enjoying and partying away her future, right now, I want to have my revenge, I want to live those life that I wasn't opportune to live, I want to flirt and have fun with many ladies both young and old, I want to visit as many night clubs as possible now that money is flowing in, I careless about the consequences and how she may feel, these are exactly what I'm feeling now.

this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice.

Revenge??
This one no get sense tbvh.
Using past to judge the present?
Is it her fault you had to go through such difficulties in life..
This one go chop divorce.

bepositive11:


I agree with your stance on self love, but I don't agree with always putting yourself first, especially when you are a husband and a father. As long as putting others ahead of you won't hurt you, I think it's only right to know when sacrifices need to be made

It's okay

Do what feels right
As long as it makes you happy

Op you have a big problem go for deliverance asap

How did she end up with you? Is her body not good enough again? How did you know the difference in quality if you did not cheat?did you not try the product you wanted to pay for before marriage? Your story not fit for front page.

LiegeMan:
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me

hello nairalanders,

Sorry to disturb your peace but this has been going on in my mind for long and I really need suggestions on how to overcome it. I gave in to ire/anger and it's gradually taking the best part of me since I made a little discovery about my wife's past and how she lived her life while in the campus. I will try and make it as snappy as possible in order not to make you spend much of your time on my case.

Now, it goes this way, my wife came from a middle class family and she attended one of the best and prestigious higher institutions in the country, they're not too rich and they're not poor, infact, their family name can't be in the same sentence with poverty. She had everything she needed and lived her life to the fullest while in the campus, she flirted with and dated the best guys in the campus, she visited many night clubs and other exuberant and flamboyant life style that pertains to the campus.

Now on my own part, I attended one of the Colleges of Education that littered our country,
I did everything all by myself, I sponsored myself throughout my stay in the college, I did all manner of odd jobs to survive, sometimes, I would miss lectures due to lack of cash, no one to assist, all these limitations made me not to pay attention towards the opposite sex as I was busy struggling to survive and hoping unto God for a miracle.

Right now, all I am feeling is anger, ire, all I want now is vengeance knowing fully well that while I was suffering and struggling to survive, fasting without praying, carrying bricks and block from one floor to the other, jumping from one market to the other hawking my wares, that my wife was busy somewhere enjoying and partying away her future, right now, I want to have my revenge, I want to live those life that I wasn't opportune to live, I want to flirt and have fun with many ladies both young and old, I want to visit as many night clubs as possible now that money is flowing in, I careless about the consequences and how she may feel, these are exactly what I'm feeling now.

this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice.

LiegeMan:
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me

hello nairalanders,

Sorry to disturb your peace but this has been going on in my mind for long and I really need suggestions on how to overcome it. I gave in to ire/anger and it's gradually taking the best part of me since I made a little discovery about my wife's past and how she lived her life while in the campus. I will try and make it as snappy as possible in order not to make you spend much of your time on my case.

Now, it goes this way, my wife came from a middle class family and she attended one of the best and prestigious higher institutions in the country, they're not too rich and they're not poor, infact, their family name can't be in the same sentence with poverty. She had everything she needed and lived her life to the fullest while in the campus, she flirted with and dated the best guys in the campus, she visited many night clubs and other exuberant and flamboyant life style that pertains to the campus.

Now on my own part, I attended one of the Colleges of Education that littered our country,
I did everything all by myself, I sponsored myself throughout my stay in the college, I did all manner of odd jobs to survive, sometimes, I would miss lectures due to lack of cash, no one to assist, all these limitations made me not to pay attention towards the opposite sex as I was busy struggling to survive and hoping unto God for a miracle.

Right now, all I am feeling is anger, ire, all I want now is vengeance knowing fully well that while I was suffering and struggling to survive, fasting without praying, carrying bricks and block from one floor to the other, jumping from one market to the other hawking my wares, that my wife was busy somewhere enjoying and partying away her future, right now, I want to have my revenge, I want to live those life that I wasn't opportune to live, I want to flirt and have fun with many ladies both young and old, I want to visit as many night clubs as possible now that money is flowing in, I careless about the consequences and how she may feel, these are exactly what I'm feeling now.

this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice.

The truth is no one but you are/will be to blame for the choice(s) that you made/will make in life.
If you had cared to know about her past before you married her, you would have known.
Also, your wife is not responsible for the hardship you suffered.

slickycee:


It's okay

Do what feels right
As long as it makes you happy

So you always put yourself first, even ahead of your wife and kids all the time?

gregyboy:


I concor to this, op the only way you can get free from such anger his to do the said above

Most ladies enjoy their life to the fullest at a younger age only till when marriages put a stop to it, and most guys start life properly i mean flex life at 30, when the money start coming in while a lady start at the age of 10yrs or lesser

Start flirting bro, but nor follow me drag my woman i go vex for that one... Take from other ladies around, more pussies to you bro on your sugar daddy's quest

Tbh, I hate that sugar daddy tag even though am still young but for the fact that am married, I am always stamped with that tag sugar daddy.

emmaodet:


Remember I said something similar to this on the redpill thread that while majority of men are busy reading, hustling, praying and fasting to climb the social ladder, their female counterparts are busy enjoying life to the fullest BECAUSE they know deep down their heart, there is a man far out there hustling to make their future better.
It is a crazy world.
Reason while many married men are cheating because most reach their financial peak when they are shackled down with marriage.

Your last sentence nailed it for me.

Shey op get Sense like this...
Ask yourself *say shey I get like this*..

Whatever way you dig up to revenge surely know you will pay dearly for it...

And besides...Aids is real

emmaodet:


Most guys here don’t understand the guy’s feeling nor do the women here care about it.
The reason for this man’s anger is - Why is he paying a premium for something other guys have gotten cheaply.
The guys that have all slept with is wife took her to bed with maybe drinks, little money, small gifts etc just to get laid with her while he will have to work his asses up all throughout his life to keep her else she will leave.
He is paying far too much for what he is getting.
While he was busy hustling so as to get a good woman, the woman was busy enjoying her life.
He feels cheated - Simple.
It is like working all your life, making savings and even collecting cooperative loans add join all just to buy a car and after buying the car with all your sacrifices just to know that others used it for next to nothing.
Others have over used the car, damaged it (accidental) but already panelbeated, another used it for one year for a small fee of 50k and now you have been deceived to pick such a useless over used Nigerian 1995 model car up for 5m naira with a yearly maintenance of 2m minimum.
Most won’t understand.

Lol, this your analogy just dey make me laugh and I totally get.

I have been trying really hard to understand your rant of vengeance....is your wife giving u hell in your union, like she's not doing her wifey duties and stuffs like that. Cuz it seems you're really trying hard to destroy your marriage....i myself didn't come from a rich family but i had a great time in school.....i went to parties, clubs and had lots of fun....so why would my wife now decide on vengeance or whatever u chose to call it all cuz she didn't have the opportunity i had....please op there's no issue here. Unless there's something you aren't saying.....so come out all plain biko

LiegeMan:
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me

hello nairalanders,

this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice.

Hello LiegeMan,

From your OP, I deduced the following:
1. Your wife had a colourful sexual past;
2. She did not inform you or made it less colourful for your acceptance;
3. In your hustling phase, you did not have time for women/sex so you do not have a wild sexual past;
4. You most likely WOULD NOT have married your wife if you knew her sexual past;
5. Because of your background, you can understand/excuse women having multiple sexual partners for survival/poverty more than for fun;

In summary, you feel cheated that after all your labour, you are not getting the best sexually when it is time to relasss.

Brother, you have the right to feel anything however, you do not have to validate or act on them.

We don't go about stealing people's money because someone stole ours; nor do we go about bullying people because someone bullied us.

Committing adultery and any other vice classified as 'flexing' would not change your wife's past; nor would it change your past. It would only give temporary relief and loads of guilt if you have a moral compass.

Please discuss with her to express your disappointment at hiding her past and move on.

Also determine what is fun for you alone + with your family and pursue both.

Goodluck.

bepositive11:


So you always put yourself first, even ahead of your wife and kids all the time?

Loving my family is me loving myself..

It's my family not a family or your family

Any love i show them, is just the same as me loving myself.


It's okay not to understand everything someone writes

She isnt the reason you didnt live your best life in school..dont transfer the blame or aggression on the poor woman,she lived her life and you lived yours..those lives has nothing to do with now..you can tell her to stop mentioning them if ot hurts you...just live with your wife and be happy with her..instead of trying to pull hell on your head..or you dont know the effects of this wayward life..you may start yours and not be lucky .....bro rethink and arrange your home...make it your happy place

I need to ask you few questions.

1. Were u dating your wife at the time she was having her fun and you were suffering?
2. How far her past has affected your present marriage?
3. Was she the cause for your poor background and failure for u not to have fun to the fullest while in school?
4. Is she not performing her duties has a wife?
5. How is her past the determinate of your future.

My brother if you can answer these questions correctly and honestly then u should have a good answers to your worries.

I can see that the devil is playing dice with ur marital life out of jealousy.

The Colour of your problem is far beyond rainbow.

I pray the devil will not win this battle against your home.

LiegeMan:
Anger And Vengeance Is Taking The Best Part Of Me

hello nairalanders,

Sorry to disturb your peace but this has been going on in my mind for long and I really need suggestions on how to overcome it. I gave in to ire/anger and it's gradually taking the best part of me since I made a little discovery about my wife's past and how she lived her life while in the campus. I will try and make it as snappy as possible in order not to make you spend much of your time on my case.

Now, it goes this way, my wife came from a middle class family and she attended one of the best and prestigious higher institutions in the country, they're not too rich and they're not poor, infact, their family name can't be in the same sentence with poverty. She had everything she needed and lived her life to the fullest while in the campus, she flirted with and dated the best guys in the campus, she visited many night clubs and other exuberant and flamboyant life style that pertains to the campus.

Now on my own part, I attended one of the Colleges of Education that littered our country,
I did everything all by myself, I sponsored myself throughout my stay in the college, I did all manner of odd jobs to survive, sometimes, I would miss lectures due to lack of cash, no one to assist, all these limitations made me not to pay attention towards the opposite sex as I was busy struggling to survive and hoping unto God for a miracle.

Right now, all I am feeling is anger, ire, all I want now is vengeance knowing fully well that while I was suffering and struggling to survive, fasting without praying, carrying bricks and block from one floor to the other, jumping from one market to the other hawking my wares, that my wife was busy somewhere enjoying and partying away her future, right now, I want to have my revenge, I want to live those life that I wasn't opportune to live, I want to flirt and have fun with many ladies both young and old, I want to visit as many night clubs as possible now that money is flowing in, I careless about the consequences and how she may feel, these are exactly what I'm feeling now.

this can't keep troubling me that's why I brought it here for suggestions and elderly advice.

You are on the path that lead to destruction if you persist. Hear me, you will go back to your square one if care is not taken.

Instead of building on good foundation you have struggled to build, you want to enjoy one useless lifestyle that many are praying and looking for the way out of.

I don't know about you but as for me, having cool cash in my account with no expenses attached gives me much joy than one Yeye partying and frolicking.

Not all stages in life would be totally enjoyed by everyone and I want you to realize that.

mariahAngel:


When I saw the post, I didn't even know where to begin.
Imagine blaming his wife for his hardship.

@bold:

He is not.

He is blaming her for having a wild sexual past and not disclosing it to him before they got married.

It is the same feeling a woman who married as a virgin or wasn't a side chic has when her husband cheats.

Or someone who never aborted trying for kids while her friend who had ten abortions is a mother of five.

It is a 'I did not do anything wrong, why am I getting this' feeling or simply put 'why me?'

Ketapu:
Most men do not know the meaning of true happiness until after they get married. By then, it is too late.

I understand your pain bro.

Women peak years is between their teenage years to about 25 years. They enjoy themselves to the fullest then. Once they are done enjoying, they will look for a f0ol to turn to their husband.

Men peak years usually start around age 35. It is at this age he starts becoming successful in his career and makes a lot of money. He gets more attention from females by then since he has what females want, which is provision. Unfortunately, most guys get married before their peak years and would have settled down with one of those women that enjoyed their peak years.

Sorry again. You are one of those unfortunate guys who didn't know this fact before he got married. As my first statement said, it's too late now. She has enjoyed her life and trapped you down with marriage.

You understand what the Op is going through.

Oya manage this one!