Pierocash:
A woman can earn more than a man in the Western world and there will still be peace in the marriage.

In Nigeria here, a woman doesn't even need to earn more than the man before their ego begins to play out. Nigeria women believe that once they can be financially independent ,they don't need a man so they start acting rebellious and arrogant.

I tell myself,even if she earns more than me,I won't ask her a dime of her money,I will play my role without looking at her purse. By so doing, I will know if she is a supportive wife,or parasitic one

Not all of us.

Seun:
For whatever he needs. Men who are rich give money to their wives all the time. If a man is rich and never helps his wife financially I don't think the marriage would work, but it's usually not an issue because men are expected to provide for their wives. I think she was the defacto breadwinner but as a woman society had not equipped her for the role so she failed at it. The same goes for the man. I bet he didn't know how to use seduction to extract cash.

Quite hypocritical. Human nature for you.

Crossroad1:
There is a way you as a man carries yourself and show aspirations that will make your wife give you money without asking..
What needs does he need to meet that warrants him asking for money from his wife?
If it is for business, there is nothing wrong in that.
What manner is he asking the money?
As a loan or as a dash?
There is nothing wrong in your wife making more money than you but it becomes a problem when you begin dey shook eye for her money..
Some lazy mofos will even make it an habit.

You are absolutely right. There is nothing wrong with that. Especially with two true souls. Money talks about who has what are non existent in this realm and there is harmony, a sense of oneness.


Also lazy people can change too, life is constant. All that matters is true love and growth between two willing and compromising individuals.

cococandy:

That’s fine. not a bad arrangement based on how our society views marital roles and who’s supposed to do what. It’s actually more than appropriate. Maybe even generous on the woman’s part.

Until these guys are really ready for 50/50 they speak of.

My post is based on an ideal situation

Hmm, ideal situation for naija marriage
Nne, we are learning from the mistakes of those before us o

Actually happy to see this comment. The hypocrisy in the op and some commenters is palpable.

Seun:
For whatever he needs. Men who are rich give money to their wives all the time. If a man is rich and never helps his wife financially I don't think the marriage would work, but it's usually not an issue because men are expected to provide for their wives. I think she was the defacto breadwinner but as a woman society had not equipped her for the role so she failed at it. The same goes for the man. I bet he didn't know how to use seduction to extract cash.

Why is it ok for a man to earn more, train the lady, upgrade her family, buy her a car, set up a business for her, but it's suddenly an issue if the woman earns more?

descarado:

Hmm, ideal situation for naija marriage
Nne, we are learning from the mistakes of those before us o

Exactly. that’s why I said we are not ready for that conversation yet. When we are ready, there should be no his or her money. And certain tasks won’t be worthy or humiliating based on the body parts of who does it.
We can’t honestly be talking about 50/50 when it only applies to one party

2kurupt:


When life happen to you that reasoning in your first paragraph will evaporate.

We have seen top male CEOs loss it all, businesses go under and husbands losing their fortune within the twinkle of an eye. Does that mean they were lazy? Last year's pandemic was a eye opener to many.

There is nothing like demote in a marriage, don't let these feminists emasculate you. A man is not the head of the home simply because he has a dịck or controls more money.

True

Bobmarie:
Quite hypocritical. Human nature for you.

Don't mind him
Wives don't give money to their husbands.

When buhari tsunami started in Abuja, lots of men were laid off( construction workers)
I think it was seun that was taken care of those families.
Women that have built houses are not helping their husbands.
A woman can start selling pepper to make ends meet but a man will say its beneath him
Go to the various markets across Nigeria and interview the market women. You will be shocked.

Society isn't fair to women but it's changing. Go to the villages, you see men settle down playing drafts while their wives trade. These women have kids they solely take care of.

If Nigerian men continue with this, Nigeria will continue to rot.
Any country that maltreat the women and children don't progress.

2kurupt:


You'll be surprised in real life she's either a full-time house wife or aspiring to be one, but come online to talk crap

Very very possible...people act differently on social media especially here on Nairaland...

kazyhm:


I can't ever understand women rationale about a whole lot of things...

You earn more but can't make your home peaceful and romantic but instead, hording your money and making him pay all bills with his lower income. By the way, she want him to double his hustle yet lending him money is a big issue ? Who still believes men and women are the same hence equalized both gender ?

He embraced his supposed lower income status and solicited you support his project, but you refused then claimed his ego is fragile........what a confused victim.

She want him to lead but first he must double cross her in earning.

In the same vein she claimed love is enough and far important than money.

The summary of this article is; I earn more, if you want to be the head, you must beat me in this earning competition.......,.I won't give you my money and if you ask me, the whole world will know.....and ontop of that I won't still part with my money.

The truth is, the husband was disappointed in her as a wife.......and as expected, disappointment often times begets resentment

The most interesting thing about the story is, the bride father knew this hence didn't support it but women cluelessness of reality make her embarked on this fruitless competition (marriage).


In addition. I believe the husband earning is not so low........he can even afford the marriage rites on her (his wife)...........it only comparison that make his earning low (she didn't state how much he earns anyways).........if the guy is comfortable while single, and can afford most basic thing of life........while pressure him to go break the bank to earn more or be at per with her........as a qualification to lead ?

sensible contribution

descarado:

Don't mind him
Wives don't give money to their husbands.

When buhari tsunami started in Abuja, lots of men were laid off( construction workers)
I think it was seun that was taken care of those families.
Women that have built houses are not helping their husbands.
A woman can start selling pepper to make ends meet but a man will say its beneath him
Go to the various markets across Nigeria and interview the market women. You will be shocked.

Society isn't fair to women but it's changing. Go to the villages, you see men settle down playing drafts while their wives trade. These women have kids they solely take care of.

If Nigerian men continue with this, Nigeria will continue to rot.
Any country that maltreat the women and children don't progress.

Lovely write up, but it’s important to note that those women choose to be with those men. So if that’s what they wanted what can we do about it, if they want out they can go out or seek options to have things changed.

It’s also important to note that it was largely women that trained those men also.

Yankee101:
Why is it ok for a man to earn more, train the lady, upgrade her family, buy her a car, set up a business for her, but it's suddenly an issue if the woman earns more?

Some men started training their wives of today from secondary school...

Saw to her university education, even to PhD level..

Guess what, the moment she rise, that man becomes a poo...Probably he had only a degree and a cool job or business to sustain the family....smh man's world is something else..

To be a man is not a day Job sha.

descarado:

Don't mind him
Wives don't give money to their husbands.

When buhari tsunami started in Abuja, lots of men were laid off( construction workers)
I think it was seun that was taken care of those families.
Women that have built houses are not helping their husbands.
A woman can start selling pepper to make ends meet but a man will say its beneath him
Go to the various markets across Nigeria and interview the market women. You will be shocked.

Society isn't fair to women but it's changing. Go to the villages, you see men settle down playing drafts while their wives trade. These women have kids they solely take care of.

If Nigerian men continue with this, Nigeria will continue to rot.
Any country that maltreat the women and children don't progress.

What’s hypocritical is here is that most men can, desire and choose to give their wives/girlfriends financial support in every facet of their lives whereas men are automatically shamed for desiring the same.
I sincerely don’t know why I got this mention but if this makes you feel better I would know first hand what it means to be a sole product of rich motherly care.

I agree with your last paragraph. Men are the driving force of a nation, the pillars of society. In Africa where men hold all the coins, the rot here are a reflection of their minds but their egos won’t let them agree. It will only get worse with time.

Acidosis:


Sorry man

That sorry was deep...

Amotolongbo:
Give him money to do what?
She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

did you read her post or you just want to share your opinion by force? He asked her for money for a project not for something else.

Yes marriage is well beyond love, but the most important is compatibility.. Women are suppose to be help mate not just the receiver in a relationship, so there is nothing bad in a woman trying to support his man so far its for his development. I will say it a million times that the woman is part of the man's problem, making him fell you earning more than him will be a problem already even before marriage.

Sadly we are in a world and economy that favors women more than men, women are more employable than men not because of merit but because of what they potentially have to give outside official setting, they get more empathy than men which is the stregnt most women capitalizes on.

I was expecting her writeup to finished with how she helped him become a better person not,,,,, on how richer she is than him.

If it were on the flip, this narrative will be different, she will come out to say he's not taking care of her, not supper business..

This is why most rich ladies are single and used, this is cos no sane man would want to marry a rich woman, cos they will weaponise their wealth against thier husband.. Case study is majority of our actresses.

LyfeJennings:


Thanks fam but it's not that bad
It's just life
A man's worth is tied to his pocket

A typical example of experience is the best teacher...

I bet next time you won't open your mouth to try such again..

A married friend told me how his wife finished his ego just because he asked for a little assistance since his salary is yet to drop...It's been long now, but he confessed he cannever forget but may forgive it one day..

Till date he swore never to try such again, the wife don beg tire for forgiveness, for peace he said he accepted her begging...But, deep down it is that deep for him..

There are ways around these things, nomata what, as a man always provide for your personal needs as well...Before babe go change am for you..love no reach for were some or even most women money dey o..

The only woman that can do any money transaction with you with a sweet heart na your mom...

If na gf, you wil pay with interest..

If na your wife, Hehehehehe na with compound interest..You won't stop paying back sef..

This life no balance..But I enjoy being a man...it's more fun.

BabaIbo:


Don't generalize please.

You're wrong in my own opinion.

You're just being emotional here.

For example, the girl I'm serious with relationship-wise is not even a graduate and she is doing a job that doesn't pay much and I have other side chicks doing WELL financially that wants us to be serious even marriage.

If your opinion about all men are true, I would have gone for the rich ones, or married to one by now.
You don't know anything about men, maybe you mean boys.

You are still in a relationship. With an illiterate at that. Obviously your tiny ego can not handle taking the side chicks doing well financially.

descarado:

From what I have read so far, it seems people have come to the conclusion richer wives don't help their husbands as much as richer husbands do.
The real fact is that a richer wife helps the husband a lot without emasculating him than richer husbands do to their wives.
A richer husband showering you with money and goods is all about power control. Subdue her with money. Then treat her as you want and get away with it.

2 married ladies who live close to my house in abj single handedly built their houses. See their husbands rides. I noticed that even though these lady have very expensive rides, their husbands ended up driving them. My immediate nebo trained the husbands nieces and nephews in higher institutions, helped secure work for some.
At a point, me that's still new in this game had to tell her to save for her child( she adopted a child at older age). The thing is that you will never hear women come out to say they were behind their husbands financial success, taking care of the house cos it takes away the man's pride and ladies love to protect their men's blokos. Because, the standard is man helping woman, it's assumed women don't. That they love their money too much.

People will be shocked at the number of women who house and feed their family yet the walk while their husbands drive cars bought by these women.

I'm so tired of people coming on here to bash women when we all know that these women can stoop so low, go extra miles to make things happen in their homes yet their men take all the glory.

Smh...

A lady was investing in human capital development, you advised her to stop.....Common sense supposed tell you say if people around her have a comfortable life, her son's future is better secured...

Some women are good anytime, anyday...In fact let me say some women are special, Until a bad friend step in with bad advise...It takes a woman to influence another very fast..

No wonder a married woman told me, her hubby said he won't entertain her bringing friends around, and she on her part told him no drinking in beer parlour...I guess they both figured out where partners can go astray due to bad influence.

Very few women carry their families without third party getting to know the A-Z...God continue to bless them...rare gems.

Men that found these few women, are Living Kings..Huge favour obtained from the Lord.

I read a comment you made reference to market women struggling to meet up, Hehehe I know you will be shocked to know that most have responsible husbands who provides more than 95% of the family needs...

At least I know a handfull of high ranking uniformed personnels on comfortable salary, who set up those petty trades for their wives so they don't stay at home to become a problem to the country via Cheap gossips and mama Ngozi and her yard people mischievous yarns...

Men who made money on time, and spend well on their better half is now emasculation...smh..and at the double standard..

Irony of what we see when a woman becomes financial independent, man becomes thrash...Which birthed the statement "I don't need a man".

But a man makes money, he needs a woman to feel fulfilled..

It's high time my African brothers start getting the clearer picture....

Self centered and entitled humans should be a no no in marriage.

baby124:

You are still in a relationship. With an illiterate at that. Obviously your tiny ego can not handle taking the side chicks doing well financially.

I don't like this, why will you refer to her as an illiterate. Do you even know her story?
No be everybody dey privileged and that doesn't give you the right to insult anyone.

She is not an illiterate, she has o'level and she is not doing bad when it comes to hustle.
I prefer her to the rest(all graduates), of which one is working with FG and owns her own business, another works with a private organization and owns her own biz with workers too, and the third one is a certified foreign trained nurse(bsc) and also own her own biz.


That being said, everyone can't be a gold digger like the males in your house who is after lady's money as a means of financial breakthrough from their mental and financial poverty. This response is for your insult on an innocent lady that doesn't know you or your unfortunate self.


I am doing well in life for myself and in extension my loved ones, so I don't consider a woman's finance when choosing a partner but other major values which peace of mind is no 1 on the list.

Let this sink in to your medulla oblongata, there is a level you will get to in life, money won't be one of the top things to consider in your prospective partner because you are capable.

You're so d*mb not to understand the comment you quoted, I said I chose her as the main, why others are side chicks.
It is my choosing, my relationship and not yours. So why drinking panadol on top another person matter?


I can see you are a kid who doesn't know when and how to use words.
Tiny ego? And I am controlling all of them?

PS: I am a graduate with excellent academic record(result) before you think your usual rubbish.

LyfeJennings:
Lemme share a true life story
My present girlfriend is richer than me
On like 3 occasion, she helped with some very funny bill
Yesterday, we dey talk
She jokingly seriously told me
"You no get money guy, U are a broke, U not even near what a man should be"
I swear I wan die
E pain me ehnnnn
My ego was bruised but she no lie

Move on.

Nobody should think being with you is a favor

Amotolongbo:
1. Give him money to do what?

2. She can’t just be giving him money for no just reason.

3. She can spend her money on the home, not giving it to her husband.

4. A man requesting for money from a woman is only trying to trade his pride as the head of the home.

5. The only time a man should be given money by a woman is when it is needed for a personal and mental development which will bring a fortune to the man and home

1. So men who give their women money, give them the money for what??

2. Awk...why's that?? So men don't have any need that can be solved with money ba?

3. Is there a crime if she does both??

4. So a man asking for money from his wife for a project that will benefit them both will no longer become the "head of the home"??
Chai!!! Na wa... then why have we become "one", if we can't pull resources together to achieve a project?? Why is the woman a "helper" if she can't help her man achieve goals that'll benefit the family ((the woman included))?? So that means a woman will only respect a man who takes care of her every need, but doesn't ask for money from her, no matter what?? Hmm...
Tis well...
Truly a good wife is from the Lord
And indeed her price is above rubbies...

5. Personal and mental development only??
Kikikikikiki
Lemme nor say anything...
To his, his own sha..

Not everyone is ripe for marriage.
Neither is marriage RIGHT for everyone.
However, while marriage is a matter of choice, I still believe that some lifestyles are better lived Alone if we cannot bring ourselves to do the needful.
Very simple! Just Love him or her and dwell on the good about them. Correct them if and when you need to, but, let it be done with love.

Ladycewhy:
If you want loan go bank.If you want guarantor I go stand for you as a helper role wey God give me.

Life lessons , psychology even the ancestors have confirmed that it is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than for man to borrow money from his wife and pay back.


Since you call it a loan will you as a person be willing to sign the necessary documents before your wife gives you the "ordinary loans"?

As long as she is not neglecting her duty as a wife and helper. Na so my aunt take give her husband money wey e take go dey carry okpo for club , nonsense ingrates.

And you think it's easy to borrow money from a woman and have rest of mind, unless she ain't Nigerian.

You are just being stereotypic.

You need to think intensively.

Everyman is not your Aunt's Husband.

I won't talk much to you sef.

Connected1:

And you think it's easy to borrow money from a woman and have rest of mind, unless she ain't Nigerian.

You are just being stereotypic.

You need to think intensively.

Everyman is not your Aunt's Husband.

I won't talk much to you sef.

yen yen yen.

The reality is giving a Nigerian man money is not the same as giving any other man money in sane clime.


Nigerian marriages don't protect women. You can help raise a man up and the next thing he throws you out of the house for putting too much pepper in his soup and the next day his yellow sisi side chick is in the house you built with your sweat and nothing , absolutely nothing will be done not by the law or traditional council. You will only be relegated to one corner licking your wounds.


And this is if you don't die before your time. Men in the western world who know your money pays his bills will be ready to do things around the house to lessen your stress and burden but Nigerian men, you will feed them ,clothe them ,house them ,take care of the home ,the kids ,him ,his family and even cook pounded yam and soup ,still kneel down and serve him ontop. why ?

Ladycewhy:
yen yen yen.

The reality is giving a Nigerian man money is not the same as giving any other man money in sane clime.


Nigerian marriages don't protect women. You can help raise a man up and the next thing he throws you out of the house for putting too much pepper in his soup and the next day his yellow sisi side chick is in the house you built with your sweat and nothing , absolutely nothing will be done not by the law or traditional council. You will only be relegated to one corner licking your wounds.


And this is if you don't die before your time. Men in the western world who know your money pays his bills will be ready to do things around the house to lesses your stress and burden but Nigerian men, you will feed them ,clothe them ,house them ,take care of the home ,the kids ,him ,his family and even cook pounded yam and soup ,still kneel down and serve him intop. why ?

Get married to a Foreign Man then.

No dae disturb me abeg.

My mom has not been to the market in last 20 years to buy food for my paternal family except on events or special occasions, even as far to cooking sef, it's like a part time job for her.

My old man literally does all of it.

You did love my dad if he were a young and single guy because he's quiet, handsome, tall and dark too but I am not sure you can condone his excesses/bad attitudes , I am speaking in reference to your words though.

I once to you not to be stereotypical.

And please try to talk less now, I easily get angry now, the inflation is seriously hitting me.

Connected1:

Get married to a Foreign Man then.

No dae disturb me abeg.

My mom has not been to the market in last 20 years to buy food for my paternal family except on events or special occasions, even as far to cooking sef, it's like a part time job for her.

My old man literally does all of it.

You did love my dad if he were a young and single guy because he's quiet, handsome, tall and dark too but I am not sure you can condone his excesses/bad attitudes , I am speaking in reference to your words though.

I once to you not to be stereotypical.

And please try to talk less now, I easily get angry now, the inflation is seriously hitting me.

If you easily get angry that's a good thing, just use your hot temper to cook since gas is now expensive.


And as for your dad, good for your mother,by aside your dad can you give me any other examples?

Because I can give you 20 more examples of women who have been taught a bitter lesson for being " the virtuous wife" and carrying the "my husband tag " on their head like gala. Infact one of them the marriage is over 30 years ,she still complains bitterly till date ,no changes in the man ,na so she go bear enter grave .

Ladycewhy:
If you easily get angry that's a good thing, just use your hot temper to cook since gas is now expensive.


And as for your dad, good for your mother,by aside your dad can you give me any other examples?

Because I can give you 20 more examples of women who have been taught a bitter lesson for being " the virtuous wife" and carrying the "my husband tag " on their head like gala. Infact one of them the marriage is over 30 years ,she still complains bitterly till date ,no changes in the man ,na so she go bear enter grave .

The bolded part, So you mean I should be smiling with the current inflation, I am not rich at the moment and I am getting sick even my meagre salary doesn't last up to a month now despite how prudent I am.

It's not as if I am going to transfer aggression on you but I just want to stay calm with anyone's distorting my calmness.

The drunks, theives, rapists, prostitutes and so many other bad kinds of people will all get married some day and they will get married to either a good or bad person.

So do you except a rose flower from a bitter leaf plant. No I guess

These girls following fraudsters here and there and getting married to them, will definitely lay complaints at some points but they easily forgot they knew who he was before getting married to him. Likewise for men turning hoes to wives.

Moreover I can't speak for other men,I haven't had time to do in-depth analysis of people's marriages.

Connected1:

The bolded part, So mean I should be smiling with the current inflation, I am not rich at the moment and I am getting sick even my meagre salary doesn't last up to a month now despite how prudent I am.

The drunks, theives, rapists, prostitutes and so many other bad kinds of people will all get married some day and they will get married to either a good or bad person.

So do you except a rose flower from a bitter leaf plant. No I guess

These girls following fraudsters here and there and getting married to them, will definitely lay complaints at some points but they easily forgot they knew who he was before getting married to him. Likewise for men turning hoes to wives.

Moreover I can't speak for other men,I haven't had time to do in-depth analysis of people's marriages.

You don't have neighbors ,uncles, brothers, relatives, colleagues? .

You don't have to analyze people's marriages to see the obvious. Or you live in a cocoon ?

Ladycewhy:
You don't have neighbors ,uncles, brothers, relatives, colleagues? .

You don't have to analyze people's marriages to see the obvious. Or you live in a cocoon ?

Yes I live in a cocoon

Your mouth no good at all. See wetin enter your mind.

I see these things daily but most blissful marriages I have seen are based on respect, compatibility and probably love too.

Be good and optimist you will get the best.

Understand your partner and don't try to make them feel bad or do things they hate.

Marriages no really hard abeg.

I can notice you have bad mouth from our convo, it ain't a quality.

If I marry someone like you, I will surely die young because emotional abuses or shouting makes me depressed and angry too.

Connected1:

Yes I live in a cocoon

Your mouth no good at all. See wetin enter your mind.

I see these things daily but most blissful marriages I have seen are based on respect, compatibility and probably love too.

Be good and optimist you will get the best.

Understand your partner and don't try to make them feel bad or do things they hate.

Marriages no really hard abeg.

I can notice you have bad mouth from our convo, it ain't a quality.

If I marry someone like you, I will surely die young because emotional abuses or shouting makes me depressed and angry too.

so na only blissful marriages all your neighbors ,uncles , relatives ,viallge people, colleagues etc get? Wow please do you live in lala land? .


And if you marry someone like me, you will be sure of loyalty and care until you fvck up .


And by the way, I think a robot will suit you for a wife ,you know those ones that still kneel down to serve their husbands food and say yes sir and wear the wife tag like some medal.