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|Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by hartoyebi38: 4:18pm On Dec 04, 2021|
Bullying is real and a lot of children are traumatised. One of my children came home complaining about how he was being bullied at school.
They kept on taunting him. Do you have washing machine at home? Do you have dish washer? Bla bla bla.
He was branded as inferior. I told him to fight back. We don’t have and there is no shame about it. We were then living in an environment where the light could go for two weeks without PHCN caring if there are human beings there.
So, where do we get light to run washing machine and other gadgets? More importantly, I am from Ekiti where we use ‘laulau’ and ‘kanrinkan’ to wash plates. In Ekiti, we are used to ‘olo ata’ (grinding stone) because grinding machine erodes the taste.
My grandma used ‘ogiri’ to replace maggi without apology. ‘Omi cocoa’ was our juice. The gift of my mother-in-law to my family when we got married was ‘odo’ to pounded yam on banana leàves with bush meat and vegetable to match, before the eateries hijacked it from us.
So, the secondary school mates should not goad my son into all these modern tools.
As God would have it one day, one of the bullies, a girl, came to buy frozen fish in a shop beside my house along Matogun NO ROAD, Oke-Aro (Politicians have been using the road as part of their campaign promises before democracy started in America).
Anyway, immediately the girl sighted my son, she asked “Is this your house?’ And he replied ‘Yes’. Then, she said sarcastically “Eh, so your house has no fence”. My son cried inside, that the following day, he would be ridiculed at school because his daddy’s house has no fence.
I told him, ‘There is need to cry. Where do you expect me, a journalist to get money to fence a house? When you get to the school tomorrow, call the other bullies and give the first jab, saying, “Come o, I saw this girl yesterday at their family ‘s Shoprite’. Stress it very well and once it hits the bully, she would keep quite.
Never tolerate bullies, young or old. Develop a fighting spirit. May the LORD give us all inner strength.
*Ayodele Ale is a journalist, lawyer and public affairs analyst
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|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by habsydiamond(m): 4:32pm On Dec 04, 2021|
Nothing pains a bully pass make u sound am hot blow for mouth as he is about to use that mouth to rubbish u... Next time he go rethink before he talk.
103 Likes 13 Shares
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Romanoff(f): 4:44pm On Dec 04, 2021|
Even in fighting back, your child can get killed.
Many of us here were bullies, it is a very bad behaviour and if has messed up the mental health of a lot of kids.
It has nothing to do with boarding schools cause even day school children get bullied.
It has to do with failed parenting.
I think parents should also be held accountable for the behaviours of their kids.
41 Likes 5 Shares
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by MufasaLion(m): 4:45pm On Dec 04, 2021|
That's right! But he must know when and when not to go physical with people.
Nobody can bully my son if I had any.
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Oblongata: 5:10pm On Dec 04, 2021|
The only effective fight against bullying is letting your child know you are always there for them and that you are their confidant and their messiah, that’s all! Always give them a listening ear, build their confidence and also make them know you will defend them no matter the situation.
Let them know their right from wrong!
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|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Kobojunkie: 6:43pm On Dec 04, 2021|
hartoyebi38:I don't support this parent's approach to "fighting back" at all.
Build your child's self confidence instead. Teach him to understand that his value as an individual ought not to be obtained from how much he or his parents have. Make him understand that those bullying him are instead the defective beings since they seek to find meaning by inflicting hurt on others around them. Tell your children the truth - feed them wisdom- not get them to engage in meaningless battles.
Learning him to bully his bullies only makes him one of them.
27 Likes 2 Shares
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by GboyegaD(m): 6:49pm On Dec 04, 2021|
Parents should live right as it makes it easy for the child to get the confidence to defend whatever the family economy is.
2 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Acidosis(m): 8:07pm On Dec 04, 2021|
Contentment is a special recipe for confidence. Nothing builds confidence more than being content with what you have. It also a way to overcome certain kinds of bullying.
It is a very dangerous trend to build a child's confidence around material things. Very very dangerous. A lot of parents are in serious debt all because they want their kids to belong to a certain social class. The funny thing about life is that whatever it is you think you're spending to raise their "confidence", there are people willing to waste your entire net worth on wine and wristwatch. Spend as much as you want but make them understand that there's more to life..
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|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by gannod(m): 8:53pm On Dec 04, 2021|
wosere awe..iyan a yun lerun re. An average Ekiti boy can hardly be bullied. E si omo na ka jose. My son,who is in pry 5 recently had an altercation with his seniors in Secondary School. He stood up to them without bating an eyelid. I was just laughing when he was natrating it to me. I had to explain to him to accord them some respect but he said that does not include them chasing he and his friends off the football field.
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Pinkzebra: 9:36pm On Dec 04, 2021|
I am teaching my toddler , my son that's is okay if we don't have some things . For instance we don't have a car but most of his class mates families have and he would.look on so long to their cars while we wait for bike . I told him we are fine and no different from them as owing cars doesn't mean they were better off. I said when it is time that we can afford to own a car which is soon we would and if we don't , it doesn't mean we are poor . After all you attend the same school and we pay same fee.
I teach him to be proud of what he owns especially what he worked for . I teach him working hard is good as that is a good path to success .
I don't know where all of this is coming from, but if you ask him what he wants to do , he will say to buy and build big cars . Here what I do , I buy him several toy cars and he builds cars out of anything, name it pegs, slipper, books , his food anything! Rather than feel bad about us not owing a car, he has turn it to his passion .
If anyone has toy cars not used anymore and is willing to gift , I'm all open . My kid keeps getting fascinated with cars and now when we take our bikes , he smiles and sometimes he suggest we walk home .
Parents should build confidence in their kids and encourage to speak up when they do , don't shun them listen to understand.
I feel if parents get more involved with their kids , guiding them all the way , kids will turn out to be good responsible adults .
The best way to fight back is to build confidence not go physically or abusing back .
I am open for toy car gifting ooo ;
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Pinkzebra: 9:42pm On Dec 04, 2021|
Double post , network
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by crackhaus: 9:54pm On Dec 04, 2021|
For a child to taunt another child for not having a washing machine or a dish washer at home, it's clear that his parents have failed.
Behaviour like that can only be learned from the adults in a child's life.
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Sonnobax15(m): 12:40am On Dec 05, 2021|
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by AdaSunshine(f): 1:18am On Dec 05, 2021|
Mr journalist, you did not teach your son to fight back, you taught your son to bully before he's bullied.
You're slowly creating a monster.
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by debbydams(f): 7:55am On Dec 05, 2021|
Oblongata:I was a victim of bully when I was in jss3, this particular gurl knew I don't talk in class, she my food, beat me there's was a day she broke someone warmer and lied against me, I always feel sad whenever I'm going to school..after out Junior wassce we grouped ourselves, she forcfully joined my group, each group is planning to cook, on this fateful day i and my group went out to get something's,I was very thirsty I bought sachets water ND this gurl harjacked the water, I don't know where the strength came from I beat the hell out of her, people that knows how she bullys me refused to separate us, people were hailing me..this is how she stopped that dirty act..since then nobody der to face me till now, or say anything against me,no matter how old or mature you are I'll confront you!
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by bigjackass: 7:55am On Dec 05, 2021|
These evils have come to stay and there is nothing we can do about it. Just make sure your kids have the confidence to report whatever they are going through to you. Na d Koko be dat.
3 Likes 1 Share
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by odinson1(m): 9:02am On Dec 05, 2021|
No matter the level of confidence a person has,it still wouldn't stop bullies from Bullying him/her. The only way to Fight back an enemy is to actually fight back. You can't ignore that bully forever because the sadistic ones would even delight in the fact that you are dying in silence. So if a bully walks up to you and hits you in the face for no good reason,hit him harder and stand your ground. Do not allow yourself to be intimidated! This world is not for the Weak,only the strong can survive so stop teaching your children to be perfect in an imperfect world.
Who has seen squid game on Netflix here? Life is exactly like squid game. You either kill or be killed,it might sound harsh but that is the REALITY of life. Stop teaching your children to be polite or to treat "People" with respect. Tell them to give respect only to whom respect is due.
My 2 cents.
18 Likes 3 Shares
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Richy4(m): 10:25am On Dec 05, 2021|
If u know how to teach your sons/ daughters to fight back, please do..
Unfortunately, those kids that are living in boarding school doesn't know how to fight back.. it's not that they don't want to but the fear of being gang beaten by the seniors...It was a general knowledge that one insult to a senior by a junior is an insult to all..
it's only those that has lived in boarding houses that will understand what I'm talking about.. Day students most times wondered why those living in boarding houses were docile...
Yea they are because as a day student, after fighting a senior student who is a bully in school premises, u will go back home to your parents.. your paths with the bully might not Cross again for some time.. but as a boarder, u will wake up with them, they will bring their mates... It's just scaring sometimes..
I remembered my school father those days... wish I could see Senior Christian again in this life time.. May God bless him wherever he is... He was simply a God's sent to me.. He fights all my battle with the bullies especially the senior ones.. even if it has to be his friends... How I wish that this little boy that passed on have a senior Christian in his life as a school father just the way I did those days..
As an 11 yr old that I was back then, I tried to stay away from SS2 bullies.. but I was being picked on because I hated being spoken to in a rude way..The annoying part was u were expected to greet your seniors every day and to call them senior this or senior that.... That was just the most annoying part...I was tagged as an arrogant spoilt brat..
Chai!!!! This guy taught me how to break certain school rules without being caught.. Since our school was unofficially known for cooking the worst tasteless food ever in the whole FCT, Even when they cooked something as simple as fried yam, it still tastes awful..
He taught me how to smuggle in small kerosene stove and pot inside the dorm room without being caught.. how to cook rice and beans.. how to hide everything inside the ceiling during inspection...He was just like the best mischievous cool elder brother anyone could have
He was the genesis of my being tough, strong and independent in this world.. Bless you wherever you are ..
18 Likes 1 Share
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by EXLOVER(m): 2:11pm On Dec 05, 2021|
My bully in secondary school was one ugly modafucka, the guy was always bullying me, calling in my break time money, and giving me his note to copy sometimes. I thought he was strong because of his ugliness.
On this very day, i was with my crush when he wanted to bully me, omo i nor fit fall my hand for where my crush day, i gather all the confidence i could to chance back, my bully became angry, i was scared to hell when he gave me a hot slap, immediately i gather courage and use my five fingers to hit his chest, bully started crying like a baby o, i carried bully with my hand and put him on the floor, pack some sand with my hand and put on his mouth.
Since that day bully became scared of me, my crush started crushing on me. I became King of boys too
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by FactBoyz: 2:11pm On Dec 05, 2021|
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Ogaga87(m): 2:11pm On Dec 05, 2021|
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Redemption77: 2:11pm On Dec 05, 2021|
With the replies about the Down-Sylvester saga, you don't need anyone to tell you that majority of Nigerians are neither Muslims nor Christians(because they fail to practise their holy books). Whatever happens to forgiveness, huh? Moreover,do I need to remind y'all that these are kids, not adults. Kids got into a fight and unfortunately, one lost his life as a result. Why not suggest peaceful and mature ways to go about it, instead of all these warmongering vituperations all over social media?
If we really go by the way of training the minds of our wards/siblings/kids this way(violent means), we will only succeed in not only bringing out the monsters in them but also, we end up fighting another civil war(within adults/parents)!
Honestly writing, I am very disappointed in Christians/Muslims all over Nigeria! Shame on y'all!!
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Eriokanmi: 2:12pm On Dec 05, 2021|
Hm. Ekiti and brain. Very apt. I clap for you.
You earn my respect. I was able to overcome this bully of a thing while in secondary school, just this way. Bullying is an agelong menace
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Nigercity: 2:12pm On Dec 05, 2021|
Fighting your snrs back
In boarding school is just like a death sentence esspecially in federal schools
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by HoluGraze: 2:13pm On Dec 05, 2021|
That was the hand I was brought up with.
You can't cry home even though you were bullied or beaten, because you will be beaten again. We were thought to always fight back but don't look for trouble first and when it comes, give them double of it.
I don't have a child yet but I'm going to train them to always defend themselves against whoever looks for their trouble. My children will never be timid.
When they tell you they have this tell them their own is small to what you dad have. shikenah
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by SpecialAdviser(m): 2:14pm On Dec 05, 2021|
Grinding machine erodes the taste. God bless you abundantly. Africans are so stupid to copy everything. Na so some people will be eating my beloved akpu with fork. Chai. I told my friend I will never do that and I maintained my ground. Why has Chinese people not stopped eating with sticks. Inferiority complex will kill us for this country.
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|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Temisia(f): 2:15pm On Dec 05, 2021|
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Doitbetter212: 2:15pm On Dec 05, 2021|
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|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by faithfull18(f): 2:15pm On Dec 05, 2021|
Bullies/trolls pick on people they assume are weaker. Bullying happens everywhere, bullying in schools is just one case. Teach your children to stand up for themselves and others too. They don't have to be violent, there are ways around these things.
|Re: Bullying: I Taught My Son To Fight Back by Ogegeodey(m): 2:16pm On Dec 05, 2021|
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