People really get wahala sha.

They accuse you and you prove them wrong with picture, they say it's childish, you don't need to prove yourself or snap.

You didn't prove it, they scream, "he can't even prove himself."

You reply them, they start abusing you.

You ignore them, they say you're proud and feel you're too big to reply.

Mehn, person wey no get mind no fit handle the kain things I dey handle with these jobless attackers for this forum.

I have a thick skin, so no issues. I also noticed some people I haven't replied their DMs are the ones always attacking me. Nah wah o! No be by force I go reply you na. Una dey pay me to reply?

Everything dey always turn to fight for this side of the world. I blame it on poverty, depression, joblessness, and free MB from MTN and Airtel.

Everybody is a giant online and can abuse whoever they want.

Guyman, your way is inspiring. Humbly enough, I'll like to learn from you.

iLegendd:


Okay

Peace out.

People really get wahala sha.

They accuse you and you prove them wrong with picture, they say it's childish, you don't need to prove yourself or snap.

You didn't prove it, they scream, "he can't even prove himself."

You reply them, they start abusing you.

You ignore them, they say you're proud and feel you're too big to reply.

Mehn, person wey no get mind no fit handle the kain things I dey handle with these jobless attackers for this forum.

I have a thick skin, so no issues. I also noticed some people I haven't replied their DMs are the ones always attacking me. Nah wah o! No be by force I go reply you na. Una dey pay me to reply?

you like broke shaming people that are far more better than you

Tolu181:
you like broke shaming people that are far more better than you

I don't broke-shame people, but people broke-shame me. All I do is reply or ignore. Some of you that attack always hate it when the person attacks back. You want them to keep mute, act mature, and enjoy the abuse or attack from you.

In the history of Nairaland, have I ever quoted you first or attacked you first? No.

Why cry when the person you attacked attacks back? So, you want to feel like a victim now, right?

Alright, go ahead. My last reply to you to avoid trouble.

iLegendd:
Lending people money, trying to be kind, ruins friendship. If you have, give them for free, but be careful to avoid the same person coming back for more over and over again until it begins to look as if you're the one owing the person because he/she will be taxing you every month end.

Based on ur Convo, and the title of this post, neither correlates. You only tried to pass a moral both to the lady and most especially to us reading dis post.

How u discarded the lady's request we're yet to know. If someone was to learn a thing or two based on ur topic (apart from the principle u tried to instill) u kinda twisted the whole thing, by giving the lady 5k free of charge. Although u neva mentioned u gave her "in context".....

From what I understand is, two things happened here;
1. You didn't want to make her feel bad by coming out plain to say I don't have.

2. You know she probably knows you have, and can help and u didn't want to sound like a wicked person saying u don't have, that's y the lectures of principle, even bringing up childhood experience.

When all u could have done was simply say 'I don't have' and still find a way to pass on ur principles and morals incase of a next time.

Summary

The best way to reject something is to tell a story and in the story, embed the rejection. In this life, if you act too soft, you'll have lots of enemies — people that'll run away after you've given them something.

Also, if you act too tough, you'll also have lots of enemies.

So, what should you do? Mix both softness and toughness with story and humor and you'll get away with almost anything with more loyal friends, clients, and die-hard fans.

So, don't give out what you can't lose. This is why you shouldn't give your heart easily to anyone no matter how handsome or beautiful the person is.

Be both soft and tough, but use humor and story to get away from worries.

iLegendd:

You're right, so what is needed? I'm open to learning new things.

people like you are not to be trusted, you advise people to be very strict in principle, but in real life, you will be a very weak one. I'm very sure you are complete opposite of what you wrote up there

Fremantle:

Based on ur Convo, and the title of this post, neither correlates. You only tried to pass a moral both to the lady and most especially to us reading dis post.

How u discarded the lady's request we're yet to know. If someone was to learn a thing or two based on ur topic (apart from the principle u tried to instill) u kinda twisted the whole thing, by giving the lady 5k free of charge. Although u neva mentioned u gave her "in context".....

From what I understand is, two things happened here;
1. You didn't want to make her feel bad by coming out plain to say I don't have.

2. You know she probably knows you have, and can help and u didn't want to sound like a wicked person saying u don't have, that's y the lectures of principle, even bringing up childhood experience.

When all u could have done was simply say 'I don't have' and still find a way to pass on ur principles and morals incase of a next time.

Because I hate to lie — it makes me feel bad, I told her the truth and told her why.

In Nigeria, lying is a normal thing, but I'm not used to it and I doubt I'll ever be.

The only time I'll bluntly lie is when I'm joking or some armed men say, "Where is your brother, we want to kill him — is he at home?" At this point, I'll surely lie and tell them he isn't just to save life.

But lying out of the blue is not my thing.

Also, the reason I don't go straight to the point, is because I create content. The more I prolong it, the more the content has a chance of turning to a book and generating me money.

Though, it's not about the money, but the content and message. Money is just a bonus.

So, there is a reason for everything. I haven't sent her the 5k because she hasn't sent an account even though I have her account number. I won't beg her to take it — it's her choice.

hope4nigeria:
people like you are not to be trusted, you advise people to be very strict in principle, but in real life, you will be a very weak one. I'm very sure you are complete opposite of what you wrote up there

You're right, Sir.

I pray this reply makes you feel better and doesn't push you into trying to argue with me because I'll ignore.

while I don't fault your principles. I do think if she's a friend as you said, that should have been a business opportunity for you to invest in her potential. Since she wanted the money for something useful. That's what friendship is all about.
I had one that wanted to start a second hand clothing business. Gave her part of her initial capital, today I owned 35% of the business and she's striving and has even branched into other businesses

iLegendd:


You're right, Sir.

I pray this reply makes you feel better and doesn't push you into trying to argue with me because I'll ignore.

you can't be a leader with such principle, you can't be a husband to present day women with your aclaim attitude, imagine you said your mum came visiting, you declined response because you weren't inform, your mum oh, and you call that principle? It's God who put you in a position for people looking up to you to borrow from, have you ever see people requesting Loan from useless people? Pray God help you to mentain status where people always think you have

iLegendd:
Yes, the author, Joé Clef, is my boss.

Jesus said, I and my father are one, who ever seen me has seen my father, so I think who ever seen iLegendd has seen Jeo Clef



Boss, why do u like using "my boss" when u are indrectly referring to yourself, is there any psychological reason behind it?... I will like to learn

emae009:
while I don't fault your principles. I do think if she's a friend as you said, that should have been a business opportunity for you to invest in her potential. Since she wanted the money for something useful. That's what friendship is all about.
I had one that wanted to start a second hand clothing business. Gave her part of her initial capital, today I owned 35% of the business and she's striving and has even branched into other businesses

I have done this severally with other females friends. We reach an agreement and I buy the tools, like the sewing machines one needed and others. At the end of the day, I just leave everything and don't ask for share.

Not helping one doesn't mean I don't or haven't helped others.

One thing is: Set boundaries first, so that they won't see you as a cash cow and use you. After you've rejected them first, they'll be scared to ask again, but when they least expect it, surprise them.

This way, they'll be like, "Wow! I can't believe this." They'll appreciate this help you gave them without them asking for it more than the loan. In life, it's good to know when to give and when to declined.

Most men don't know when to say no. Everything is yes yes yes — just to please and appear like a good person. They're dying in silence — they're being used and manipulated.

So, you're right in your assertion, but it's good to give at your discretion and not through coercion or "please-them or lose-them."

iLegendd:


Because I hate to lie — it makes me feel bad, I told her the truth and told her why.

In Nigeria, lying is a normal thing, but I'm not used to it and I doubt I'll ever be.

The only time I'll bluntly lie is when I'm joking or some armed men say, "Where is your brother, we want to kill him — is he at home?" At this point, I'll surely lie and tell them he isn't just to save life.

But lying out of the blue is not my thing.

Also, the reason I don't go straight to the point, is because I create content. The more I prolong it, the more the content has a chance of turning to a book and generating me money.

Though, it's not about the money, but the content and message. Money is just a bonus.

So, there is a reason for everything. I haven't sent her the 5k because she hasn't sent an account even though I have her account number. I won't beg her to take it — it's her choice.

I get your point, but also straight to the point in some situations is the easiest way out. And in those situations being a content writer and creating content from event won't really solve the pending issue the person has placed before you.

Most times all the person needs to hear is a "Yes" or a "No"....

Ever been in a situation where you approach someone for assistance (not necessarily money) and all u need from that person was a 'yes I can or 'sorry, I can't help' but instead the person decides to beat around the bush and still ends up telling u no!

Now in situations like that, if the person beats around the bush and still ends up saying yes. Psychologically and emotionally most humans will endure the story telling as far as the outcome of that storyline will yield a positive response to their plight.

Now to ur not being able to lie, what do u do in such situations? having in mind that not all event u would consider an opportunity or an avenue to create content, also having in mind the level of burden the person is in b4 they asked for ur help....

Tony142:




Jesus said, I and my father are one, who ever seen me has seen my father, so I think who ever seen iLegendd has seen Jeo Clef



Boss, why do u like using "my boss" when u are indrectly referring to yourself, is there any psychological reason behind it?... I will like to learn

I'm his boy — yes, there is something psychological about it, but it's a secret.

When you easily have access to someone, you see the person as a commoner — people easily disrespect a commoner. They feel since they have access to him easily, he is not worth it.

Everyone has access to iLe.gend, so I'm a commoner, but they don't have access to Joé Clef, so he's a celebrity, unlike me.

That's just a tip of the iceberg.

Why not Cubana her and leave principle, you are obviously enjoying a derivative of your chat to market your book... anyway watch "Trading Places" by Eddie Murphy have a lovely afternoon. Moreover Christmas is coming , many Wedding and Owambe which means more make-up happening ..better still buy an equity from her business.

This one is writing a long epistle, shows how hard saying NO is to you.

iLegendd:


I'm his boy — yes, there is something psychological about it, but it's a secret.

When you easily have access to someone, you see the person as a commoner — people easily disrespect a commoner. They feel since they have access to him easily, he is not worth it.

Everyone has access to iLe.gend, so I'm a commoner, but they don't have access to Joé Clef, so he's a celebrity, unlike me.

That's just a tip of the iceberg.

Wow, Great, in summary we can simply say that

Joé Clef = Mystery


People fear and respect the unknow (mystery)


Noted

iLegendd:


She has visited 5 times already and nothing happened. Some of you think talking naughty and inviting a girl = sex. How shallow!

Naughtiness makes a conversation fun even when you don't have any intention. Some of you boring chatters don't know this.

This is why you need to read the book ChatDîcted and learn how to be fun during chat.

Being principled doesn't mean you shouldn't the fun, playful, or naughty. Most of you think a principled man is someone who doesn't play, smile, or joke with people.

https://shop.wetclef.com/download-chatdìcted/

So someone like me still exists it seems i found someone with a sorta kindred spirits

419 babe

Fremantle:

I get your point, but also straight to the point in some situations is the easiest way out. And in those situations being a content writer and creating content from event won't really solve the pending issue the person has placed before you.

Most times all the person needs to hear is a "Yes" or a "No"....

Ever been in a situation where you approach someone for assistance (not necessarily money) and all u need from that person was a 'yes I can or 'sorry, I can't help' but instead the person decides to beat around the bush and still ends up telling u no!

Now in situations like that, if the person beats around the bush and still ends up saying yes. Psychologically and emotionally most humans will endure the story telling as far as the outcome of that storyline will yield a positive response to their plight.

Now to ur not being able to lie, what do u do in such situations? having in mind that not all event u would consider an opportunity or an avenue to create content, also having in mind the level of burden the person is in b4 they asked for ur help....

Yes, people want to hear a yes or a no, but a no hurts. If you're a doctor, you can't just be blunt and blurt it out. You need to beat around the bush a little bit and motivate the family of your patient or even tell them a short story that'll make them feel at ease before you finally release the info. This lessens their pains.

Based on what you said about beating around the bush, bluntly say no if you DON'T know the person or you're not in the mood for a long talk. Mood has a lot to play in our characters at times.

Or just give without the person finishing what he/she has to say. There are times to be straight forward, but not when pains is involved. Find a way to soften their souls first.

Helping people is not only by money — motivating stories are helpful too. There are people I have never given money, but they tell me my stories have helped and inspired them.

Telling a story doesn't mean you'll talk for 1 hour. 3 minutes is more than enough to pass a message.

What will I do in such a situation with all the burdens the person is carrying? Jesus said we should bring our burdens to Him.

You refused to give it to a God who can easily handle it and came to me, an ordinary being? Does it mean I don't have my own burdens?

Not helping this particular person doesn't mean you're wicked or you don't help others. You do, but not just every time. He or she met you at the wrong time. Timing matters.

Urgent burdens should be handed to God. Humans can only support with the little they have. This is why I volunteered to support with 5k.

The truth is, you don't owe people money, but you can support them with a token.

iLegendd:

The truth is, you don't owe people money, but you can support them with a token.

Urgent burdens should be handed to God, True.... although I didn't mean burden, as in all ur family problems(words failed me there).

You made some valuable points, but we're all humans, in as much as we try we can't satisfy everyone who in one way or another seek our aid.

I'll leave it at this;
Different situations/matters require different approach/measures.

Thank you for the little chit-chat. Have a nice day
Happy Sunday once again.

iLegendd:


Yes, people want to hear a yes or a no, but a no hurts. If you're a doctor, you can't just be blunt and blurt it out. You need to beat around the bush a little bit and motivate the family of your patient or even tell them a short story that'll make them feel at ease before you finally release the info. This lessens their pains.

Based on what you said about beating around the bush, bluntly say no if you DON'T know the person or you're not in the mood for a long talk. Mood has a lot to play in our characters at times.

Or just give without the person finishing what he/she has to say. There are times to be straight forward, but not when pains is involved. Find a way to soften their souls first.

Helping people is not only by money — motivating stories are helpful too. There are people I have never given money, but they tell me my stories have helped and inspired them.

Telling a story doesn't mean you'll talk for 1 hour. 3 minutes is more than enough to pass a message.

What will I do in such a situation with all the burdens the person is carrying? Jesus said we should bring our burdens to Him.

You refused to give it to a God who can easily handle it and came to me, an ordinary being? Does it mean I don't have my own burdens?

Not helping this particular person doesn't mean you're wicked or you don't help others. You do, but not just every time. He or she met you at the wrong time. Timing matters.

Urgent burdens should be handed to God. Humans can only support with the little they have. This is why I volunteered to support with 5k.

The truth is, you don't owe people money, but you can support them with a token.

Sure... Please support me with a token from your heart... Thank you

Fremantle:

Urgent burdens should be handed to God, True.... although I didn't mean burden, as in all ur family problems(words failed me there).

You made some valuable points, but we're all humans, in as much as we try we can't satisfy everyone who in one way or another seek our aid.

I'll leave it at this;
Different situations/matters require different approach/measures.

Thank you for the little chit-chat. Have a nice day
Happy Sunday once again.

Alright, dear, and same to you.

This is how a sensible person debates — not all these frustrated kids who start with abuse and Coca-Cola bottle looking for where to break it.

We disagree to agree.

All the best.

podium:


Sure... Please support me with a token from your heart... Thank you

I don't have a heart at the moment. Thank you.

iLegendd:
Everything I post is true. I have told them when my number is not available, they should send me a text, but she didn't.

She's the woman I love the most and has given the highest money and attention in this life, but even if I love someone the most, don't violate my principles — I don't joke with them.

She has money, but I still love spending it on her. All I want is: don't violate my rules no matter what.

So you locked your mum outside and you are proud to say it.
Mr principle.
Every woman should pray not to have a son like you.

dobnina:

So you locked your mum outside and you are proud to say it.
Mr principle.
Every woman should pray not to have a son like you.

Okay, you're right. The gate is always locked 24/7. So, a call is needed before you even get to the gate.

What she came for is something she doesn't need to come for. It's just to transfer her 500k sent to my dad's account back to her account.

It wasn't a necessary visit. We should all learn to differentiate necessity from the rest.

No matter who you are, when something is unnecessary, you won't get my attention.

The only reason I manage to reply some unnecessary comments on Nairaland is the traffic it generates, else I'll ignore.

You Nigerians always act as if you love your mom, but you spend more on pròstitutes than on her. When you see someone being honest about something, you begin to act as if you're WAY better and you'll never do that.

If you want to set principles and keep it, start it with your family member and you'll stick to it.

If my family member commits a crime that requires death penalty, and I tell them to go ahead and k i.ll him, what do you think I'll do to you when they catch you? Sorry is your life.

If I don't open gate to a family member who disobey, you expect me to open for you?

If I don't give a family member loan, you expect me to give to you?

So, use your family members to set an example if you want your principles to work.

I have stopped borrowing people money because I know what I went through this year.

Bigfish121:
I have stopped borrowing people money because I know what I went through this year.

Lol

Lend me urgent 20k.

iLegendd:


Okay, you're right. The gate is always locked 24/7. So, a call is needed before you even get to the gate.

What she came for is something she doesn't need to come for. It's just to transfer her 500k sent to my dad's account back to her account.

It wasn't a necessary visit. We should all learn to differentiate necessity from the rest.

No matter who you are, when something is unnecessary, you won't get my attention.

The only reason I manage to reply some unnecessary comments on Nairaland is the traffic it generates, else I'll ignore.

You Nigerians always act as if you love your mom, but you spend more on pròstitutes than on her. When you see someone being honest about something, you begin to act as if you're WAY better and you'll never do that.

How can i get those books you were talking about earlier

Damseywizzy:

How can i get those books you were talking about earlier

1. https://shop.wetclef.com/
2. https://books.apple.com/ie/author/joe-clef/id1406072621
3. WhatsApp (Check my profile)
4. Google search