Sequel to my last about how I sent my girl to school, which I was the one responsible for all the bills and fees from ND1 to ND2. And how I was the one that paid her rent during the cause of the 2years.

And how I have being shouldering her parent responsibilities for over 3years, due to their poverty status and their inability to provide for her, which I'm also aware of.

And how I was planning to enrol her a Catering school, about to about 250k.

My last post ended with the line, where I told you guys that she's in her parent house to stay with them for sometimes. Of which i told her, I cant be feeding you when you're in my house and be doing the same, when you're in your father's house is wrong.

Last post link >> https://www.nairaland.com/6881129/asked-cant-parent-provide-basic

To continue my story, I asked her to tell her parent about the catering school she want to enrol in and ask them for the fee, which is 250k. Her parents both replied her that they can't get the money from anywhere, that she should go and learn from a small food shop (booker) around them or if I have the power I can help her.

She called me and explained her parent response. And I told her, I can't continue to shoulder any of her parent responsibilities anymore, only if they will allow her to be staying with me permanently from this December, because if she staying in her father's house many will be coming to ask her hand in marriage or even dating. But if she's in a man's house, which might be a bit difficult.

And she also said her parent said, they're not collecting any bride price, because they're not selling their daughter.

Of which between now and 18months, I'll make arrangements and come for engagements and wedding. But from now, she will start staying with me.

I know some people will say, I want a woman that I have not pay her bride price to be staying with me that is abomination. Mind you many people pay their wife bride price even after 3 kids and some people even wed after many years of staying together.

She even told me a story about her uncle wedded after he and his wife have being staying together and had about 2 kids after 14years.

Another thing that make me to make the decision of coming to stay with me fully, was that her mother usually tell her whenever she's with me like a week, that she's staying with a man, that haven't pay her pride price. This also triggered me, that what of all these things I have being doing for a whole 3 years?


Am doing all this to protect all my investments and commitment on the relationship and to avoid stories that touches, like a guy sponsor a girl to school, but she finished and return to her father's house, where another man sees her and married her.

Pls is my decision ok or what can you suggest elders in the house.

Op, what you are about to do will hunt you in future.

What about if you marry her and do everything for her and she feels she has achieved and can stand alone, and she divorce you or run away from you.

This girl doesn't love you, she is only with you because of what you can offer. Even if she loves you, with what you have splitted here, she has a lot on her mind to say and doesn't know how to tell you because she has a lot to loose..

Leave the girl alone , and look for someone with equal vibes..

Never, think you can force marriage or force love on someone by giving them money, they will leave you immediately they don't need your money again... even if they have 20 kids with you..

Girls are smarter than all this junior level prank you are playing, cos it's even clear ...


There is nothing worth peace of mind....

betterstyle

I know some people will say, I want a woman that I have not pay her bride price to be staying with me that is abomination. Mind you many people pay their wife bride price even after 3 kids and some people even wed after many years of staying together.

You told her to tell her family to allow her come stay with you? As what naw? As her personal lord and saviour?

That's a total disrespect to parenthood! I blame the parents for not living up to expectations! Just to even think the mum knows the girls sometimes stays with you for up to five days informs that you both have a bleeped up moral system.

Back to matter, what stops you from paying for the bride price now before she moves in?? Agbalagba, what stops you from marrying her now if you are so concerned about another man claiming “your investment?”

Abi you wan drill sumo for her head too?

Dem no tie rope for your neck to sponsor am. You always had a choice not to! Do the right thing!


Not because people are doing sth or a quote supports your theories does it mean it is right, sometimes, both you, the other people, or the motigbotional speaker fit dey stupid!

op sef, ixit dat sense don finish for market or wat! abi na dey money wey u get dey enter ur head? y not pau her bride price? look at all the stuff u are doin for dis gal! but still talking rubbish! use dat 250k pay her bride price! dont be a foolish man,incase u don't knw, u are at the losing end ,

Why don't you go and meet her parents and seek her hand in marriage?

Op this ur matter strong gan.. anyway glad u coming to ur senses gradually.

See this one o, the advice way them give you for the other thread you follow anyone?

Ebubechuwku:
Op, what you are about to do will hunt you in future.

What about if you marry her and do everything for her and she feels she has achieved and can stand alone, and she divorce you or run away from you.

This girl doesn't love you, she is only with you because of what you can offer. Even if she loves you, with what you have splitted here, she has a lot on her mind to say and doesn't know how to tell you because she has a lot to loose..

Leave the girl alone , and look for someone with equal vibes..

Never, think you can force marriage or force love on someone by giving them money, they will leave you immediately they don't need your money again... even if they have 20 kids with you..

Girls are smarter than all this junior level prank you are playing, cos it's even clear ...


There is nothing worth peace of mind....

Bros I know her than you do, so don't just conclude without knowing her pls. She does love me, but I'm just trying to be careful, because she staying in her father's house and me shouldering her responsibilities in her father's house gives room for suitors.

yinkaOdutuyo:



Bros I know her than you do, so don't just conclude without knowing her pls. She does love me, but I'm just trying to be careful, because she staying in her father's house and me shouldering her responsibilities in her father's house gives room for suitors.

Why she no go love u when u dey pay for this and pay for that.. me I shall dey tell u now..

No worry now...time will tell...

chatinent:

What nonsense and disrespect!

You told her to tell her family to allow her come stay with you? As what naw? As her personal lord and saviour?

What stops you from paying for the bride price now before she moves in??

Dem no tie rope for your neck to sponsor am. Do the right thing!

Not because people at doing sth or a quote supports your theories does it mean it is right, sometimes, both you, the other people, or the watimagbotional speaker fit dey stupid!

Bros are you that daft? That you can't read in between the lines?

With all these I have done, why is it the bride price, that will be a problem. I said I'll do that between now and 18months, of which before then I should have being ok than this.

funshint:
Why don't you go and meet her parents and seek her hand in marriage?

That's one of my plan this December bro

From all indications you have the capacity to wed this girl, even now. Then what's the point of insisting that she come stay with you and in 18months you pay her bride price? Why not just put yourself together financially and do the needful?

It may not be an abomination for her to come stay with you permanently when you have not officially married her, but it's not appropriate. Those people you are mentioning could have been in circumstances entirely different from yours. Moreover, you don't justify your actions and decisions based on those of others. As a man you must have principles that guide your life and conduct. Let me ask you, as a man, would you like your daughter to go live with a man in future, who has not met all the requirements of marriage. As a father, no one would want that. I can understand from what you wrote that the girl's parents are poor; but you need to respect the family. You show them respect if you are able to knock on their door and formally ask for their daughter's hand in marriage which they will oblige you.

Whatever you do, please do the right thing and accept assurances of my best wishes and prayers as you honour this girl and her family. If you are ready to marry, of course, your kinsmen would educate you that a man doesn't need hundreds of thousands and millions in order to marry when he has made up his mind. Thanks.

chatinent:

What nonsense and disrespect!

You told her to tell her family to allow her come stay with you? As what naw? As her personal lord and saviour?

What stops you from paying for the bride price now before she moves in??

Dem no tie rope for your neck to sponsor am. Do the right thing!

Not because people at doing sth or a quote supports your theories does it mean it is right, sometimes, both you, the other people, or the watimagbotional speaker fit dey stupid!

Bros leave am, the girl will outsmart him later.... he dey play junior school prank that is clear to everyone...

Deicide:
See this one o, the advice way them give you for the other thread you follow anyone?

Bro, I don't think you read this post, if not you won't be asking this again. Pls read and comment again.

Shebi nairalanders don't want my advise anymore, I'll just be looking.

Ebubechuwku:



Why she no go love u when u dey pay for this and pay for that.. me I shall dey tell u now..

No worry now...time will tell...

Ok thank you, the shopboi

Gentlerespect76:
From all indications you have the capacity to wed this girl, even now. Then what's the point of insisting that she come stay with you and in 18months you pay her bride price? Why not just put yourself together financially and do the needful?

It may not be an abomination for her to come stay with you permanently when you have not officially married her, but it's not appropriate. Those people you are mentioning could have been in circumstances entirely different from yours. Moreover, you don't justify your actions and decisions based on those of others. As a man you must have principles that guide your life and conduct. Let me ask you, as a man, would you like your daughter to go live with a man in future, who has not met all the requirements of marriage. As a father, no one would want that. I can understand from what you wrote that the girl's parents are poor; but you need to respect the family. You show them respect if you are able to knock on their door and formally ask for their daughter's hand in marriage which they will oblige you.

Whatever you do, please do the right thing and accept assurances of my best wishes and prayers as you honour this girl and her family. If you are ready to marry, of course, your kinsmen would educate you that a man doesn't need hundreds of thousands and millions in order to marry when he has made up his mind. Thanks.

I read alot of sense in this your contributions.

But everybody know that marriage is not a rush in affairs, bro I need to take my time, to avoid regrets. That is why am giving myself some few months. But she staying in her parent's house within this period is a free will to her to do anyhow and an opportunity for any guy to come to her.

Ebubechuwku:



Bros leave am, the girl will outsmart him later.... he dey play junior school prank that is clear to everyone...

Ok shopboi

Iyaebe:
Shebi nairalanders don't want my advise anymore, I'll just be looking.

We need your advice, but think before you say anything, but don't think around sex madam

yinkaOdutuyo:


Bros are you that daft? That you can't read in between the lines?

With all these I have done, why is it the bride price, that will be a problem. I said I'll do that between now and 18months, of which before then I should have being ok than this.

I thought you were stupid.

I didn't know it was your birthright.

All you have done my foot! 18months my foot! Shey you bi colonial masters or wetin? Or it shocked you not everyone agrees to your nonsensical rules?

Crawl behind me! You disgust!

Sorry to say this, you have a very poor mentality. You could have used the phrase "financial status" instead of poverty status.
Mind you, If she decides to cheat even while living with you, you'll still not know.
Why don't you do the needful since you want to live with her.

yinkaOdutuyo:
Sequel to my last about how I sent my girl to school, which I was the one responsible for all the bills and fees from ND1 to ND2. And how I was the one that paid her rent during the cause of the 2years.

And how I have being shouldering her parent responsibilities for over 3years, due to their poverty status and their inability to provide for her, which I'm also aware of.

And how I was planning to enrol her a Catering school, about to about 250k.

My last post ended with the line, where I told you guys that she's in her parent house to stay with them for sometimes. Of which i told her, I cant be feeding you when you're in my house and be doing the same, when you're in your father's house is wrong.

Last post link >> https://www.nairaland.com/6881129/asked-cant-parent-provide-basic

To continue my story, I asked her to tell her parent about the catering school she want to enrol in and ask them for the fee, which is 250k. Her parents both replied her that they can't get the money from anywhere, that she should go and learn from a small food shop (booker) around them or if I have the power I can help her.

She called me and explained her parent response. And I told her, I can't continue to shoulder any of her parent responsibilities anymore, only if they will allow her to be staying with me permanently from this December, because if she staying in her father's house many will be coming to ask her hand in marriage or even dating. But if she's in a man's house, which might be a bit difficult.

Of which between now and 18months, I'll make arrangements and come for engagements and wedding. But from now, she will start staying with me.

I know some people will say, I want a woman that I have not pay her bride price to be staying with me that is abomination. Mind you many people pay their wife bride price even after 3 kids and some people even wed after many years of staying together.

She even told me a story about her uncle wedded after he and his wife have being staying together and had about 2 kids after 14years.

Another thing that make me to make the decision of coming to stay with me fully, was that her mother usually tell her whenever she's with me like a week, that she's staying with a man, that haven't pay her pride price. This also triggered me, that what of all these things I have being doing for a whole 3 years?


Am doing all this to protect all my investments and commitment on the relationship and to avoid stories that touches, like a guy sponsor a girl to school, but she finished and return to her father's house, where another man sees her and married her.

Pls is my decision ok or what can you suggest elders in the house.

Seeing that you loved her enough to be able to cater for her to this extent, just try and visit the parents and do "small thing" on her head so that her staying with you is no longer strange.

But if she or the parents prefer an elaborate thing and you can't afford it, stay proceeding on any spending.
I mean hold your fire.
Abort all catering mission.

yinkaOdutuyo:



We need your advice, but think before you say anything, but don't think around sex madam

Her parents are right,you'll be a father someday and by then you'll have a better understanding. I wonder what's keeping you since you have the capacity to marry her,you can go with the bride price first and extend the ceremony till when you are fully ready.I hope you'll be smart enough to take meaningful advises here and ignore those bitterpillers/redpillers who are against marriage, they are the ones insulting you.Another one is,stop disrespecting their poor background, everyone can't be rich,I still see some dignity in her family despite their poor background and you should appreciate that.That they are poor isn't their fault, please respect them and do the needful over their daughter whom you want to wife.

luizpippo:


Seeing that you loved her enough to be able to cater for her to this extent, just try and visit the parents and do "small thing" on her head so that her staying with you is no longer strange.

But if she or the parents prefer an elaborate thing and you can't afford it, stay proceeding on any spending.
I mean hold your fire.
Abort all catering mission.

Another sensible post, from a great mind

Iyaebe:
Her parents are right,you'll be a father someday and by then you'll have a better understanding. I wonder what's keeping you since you have the capacity to marry her,you can go with the bride price first and extend the ceremony till when you are fully ready.I hope you'll be smart enough to take meaningful advises here and ignore those bitterpillers/redpillers who are against marriage, they are the ones insulting you.Another one is,stop disrespecting their poor background, everyone can't be rich,I still see some dignity in her family despite their poor background and you should appreciate that.That they are poor isn't their fault, please respect them and do the needful over their daughter whom you want to wife.

Iyaebe broke � my heart.

All I see is sense from her contributions. I think some uncultured nairalnders are the ones that push her to wall, hence her other contributions

Ur girl & her family are not that financially bouyant.

So u hv the upperhand, a high level of control.

Go gradually give the family small gifts, get to know them, make them to know and like u

Then move quickly to her pregnant or marry her before u start investment.

I can still remember vividly one girl very close to me in 2009 immediately after marriage she got appointment with help recommendation from the man family.

yinkaOdutuyo:


Bros are you that daft? That you can't read in between the lines?

With all these I have done, why is it the bride price, that will be a problem. I said I'll do that between now and 18months, of which before then I should have being ok than this.

you are mad oh
You want to a lady that you haven’t paid her bride price to live with you for 18months?
Will you allow that to happen as a father or brother?
Pay for her bride price or tell her that you can’t sponsor her na...not like anybody is forcing you to these things that you are doing.

This OP don kill me laugh! Baba is a serious jealous lover.

Let me be real with you OP;

You don't trust the girl one bit. Sooner or later you correct whatever it is and allow love to lead, I see regrets looming.

Make she come stay your house abi? OP wan kill person pikin with knacking.

I urge you to update us on the happenings. Things are really happening.

Dem don scam you.

You sponsored a woman in school with the hopes of marrying her? You’re lucky she didn’t find a suitor right after her final exams.

They have told you their plan. Your money is not going to buy their loyalty. Thank you for sponsoring her but If you want their daughter, you will have to marry her. Simple.

You played yourself.

I hope they scam you some more into paying for her catering school, then give their daughter to another man to marry. You deserve that.

Don't you have family members? These rants are getting stale and boring. Quit now while you can.

yinkaOdutuyo:



I read alot of sense in this your contributions.

But everybody know that marriage is not a rush in affairs, bro I need to take my time, to avoid regrets. That is why am giving myself some few months. But she staying in her parent's house within this period is a free will to her to do anyhow and an opportunity for any guy to come to her.

You didn't come here to seek advice, cos you have made up your mind already, do whatever you want bro..... What will be will be