Thread for those of us with trust issues who fear intimacy... Who are aware that we can't maintain a relationship... No matter how perfect our partners are... No matter how hard we try to make it work...

Don't wanna settle down because for some reason, we can't... Can't seem to focus... Space- out when things get too serious... Delibrately sabotage the sh** by ghosting...

Perhaps... Past sour relationships... Abandonment issues... Childhood experiences such as neglect... Abuse... Etc.

Can't tolerate romantic gestures... Rather flirt and have sex for the pleasure and to pass time...

There's the guilt... The pressure to be 'normal'... The realisation that something's wrong... But we can't help it... Some people are just broken...

Doesn't mean we don't appreciate love when we see it... Just know we can't truly give it... Might think up scenarios where we do... But in reality, we do the exact opposite...

We've broken so many hearts cause we're the perfect lovers... For that short time, make them feel great, be on cloud nine... But they are just our 'favourites'...

Light my kpoli

Damn. Hits close to home. That part about sabotaging relationships and ghosting when things start getting serious. It’s like wanting to remain in the honeymoon stage for the entire relationship, just flirting and smashing, without the relationship actually going anywhere.

Personally I might still be hung over from heartbreaks, and I cannot imagine being vulnerable to someone again, putting myself in a position to be potentially hurt again. And all these stories of cheating partners don’t help. Besides, the kind of patience and understanding I’ll need from a partner for a while in order to build trust and love, no ones daughter has it.

Datboredberry:
Thread for those of us with trust issues who fear intimacy... Who are aware that we can't maintain a relationship... No matter how perfect our partners are... No matter how hard we try to make it work...

Don't wanna settle down because for some reason, we can't... Can't seem to focus... Space- out when things get too serious... Delibrately sabotage the sh** by ghosting...

Perhaps... Past sour relationships... Abandonment issues... Childhood experiences such as neglect... Abuse... Etc.

Can't tolerate romantic gestures... Rather flirt and have sex for the pleasure and to pass time...

There's the guilt... The pressure to be 'normal'... The realisation that something's wrong... But we can't help it... Some people are just broken...

Doesn't mean we don't appreciate love when we see it... Just know we can't truly give it... Might think up scenarios where we do... But in reality, we do the exact opposite...

We've broken so many hearts cause we're the perfect lovers... For that short time, make them feel great, be on cloud nine... But they are just our 'favourites'...

What is meant to happen here?

A single man is a happy and healthy man. Alway guard your heart, brethren.

MufasaLion:
A single man is a happy and healthy man. Alway guard your heart, brethren.

Forget all dis talk! Where is Iyaebe, ur online Wife?

sammyije:
Light my kpoli

Lights my banku..

halfbloodprince:
Damn. Hits close to home. That part about sabotaging relationships and ghosting when things start getting serious. It’s like wanting to remain in the honeymoon stage for the entire relationship, just flirting and smashing, without the relationship actually going anywhere.

I thought I was the only one... I couldn't define it... It's even harder to explain this sh** to someone else... Because they think you're the bad guy... For messing with someone else's emotions... They forget that we're also victims...

They say, "if he/she is perfect, why don't you appreciate it and settle down?"... It's hard to...

I don't want anyone falling for me... I'm a stress case... I might make them feel like they're the only one but I would never invest as much as they would... Sometimes, I struggle really hard to... But it's as if there's a wall between us that I can't take down...

Im an extrovert... So always I'll be down for having a fun time... But nothing personal... No love letters... No heart to heart conversations...

Personally I might still be hung over from heartbreaks, and I cannot imagine being vulnerable to someone again, putting myself in a position to be potentially hurt again.

Everyone is so cliche... They tell you to 'move on'...

It's hard to say that you have issues... especially if they are the result of something that happened so long ago... The mind is weird, right?

I guess this is a defence mechanism... How do you program your mind to stop? It's nearly impossible...

The funny thing, you don't even realise you're doing it... Until you've ruined yet another relationship and you think back...

And all these stories of cheating partners don’t help. Besides, the kind of patience and understanding I’ll need from a partner for a while in order to build trust and love, no ones daughter has it.

I've gotten to a place where I know there are perfect guys... I've met a couple... But I think, I'm too messed up... They don't deserve my crap... I know I'm only gonna call and meet up with them when I'm bored or moody... And I hate myself after... I know their worth...

Sometimes I open up... I tell them, 'I have trust issues'... 'I might sabotage this relationship'... 'I don't want to hurt you so you better leave now'...

They never do... They are supportive... I think they assume they can 'change' me... But no one has yet...

Even my relationships with my extended family... It's been affected...

MufasaLion:
A single man is a happy and healthy man. Alway guard your heart, brethren.

Lol.. yes... But there's a difference...

It's not voluntary... I thinking... Your aversion to be in a relationship... Is it delibrate?

HellVictorinho3:


What is meant to happen here?

Nothing much.. I wanted to know if I'm the only one.. who has this phobia...

I guess if you can relate to anything.. we'll just chat.. it's easier to open up to people who understand than outsiders...

It's hard to say, "my girlfriend is perfect but I'm scared of falling in love so I'm just going to have sex and ignore her after"...

Datboredberry:


I thought I was the only one... I couldn't define it... It's even harder to explain this sh** to someone else... Because they think you're the bad guy... For messing with someone else's emotions... They forget that we're also victims...

They say, "if he/she is perfect, why don't you appreciate it and settle down?"... It's hard to...

I don't want anyone falling for me... I'm a stress case... I might make them feel like they're the only one but I would never invest as much as they would... Sometimes, I struggle really hard to... But it's as if there's a wall between us that I can't take down...

Im an extrovert... So always I'll be down for having a fun time... But nothing personal... No love letters... No heart to heart conversations...


Everyone is so cliche... They tell you to 'move on'...

It's hard to say that you have issues... especially if they are the result of something that happened so long ago... The mind is weird, right?

I guess this is a defence mechanism... How do you program your mind to stop? It's nearly impossible...

The funny thing, you don't even realise you're doing it... Until you've ruined yet another relationship and you think back...

I've gotten to a place where I know they are perfect guys... I've met a couple... But I think, I'm too messed up... They don't deserve my crap... I know I'm only gonna call and meet up with them when I'm bored or moody... And I hate myself after... I know their worth...

Sometimes I open up... I tell them, 'I have trust issues'... 'I might sabotage this relationship'... 'I don't want to hurt you so you better leave now'...

They never do... They are supportive... I think they assume they can 'change' me... But no one has yet...

Even my relationships with my extended family... It's been affected...

The last part got me reeling. I have issues with my fam too! I’m beginning to feel there’s something wrong with us. Also I remember refusing to see a girl who was head over heels in love with me because I knew I’d never take her seriously and I believed she was too good for my crap. So I lied to her that I was a chronic smoker and drinker who needed to work on my issues before venturing into a relationship. Wasn’t true. Just felt that she was too good, too pure for someone like me. But at the same time, ngl, I want a real relationship, that closeness, yet it terrifies me. I’m a weird guy from a very normal family, so I’ve always been a bit of a black sheep, so at the back of my mind there’s a little nagging fear of becoming a disappointment to my fam and this carries over into my prospective relationships. So it’s just easier to sabotage it yourself and sidestep any potential hurt than to actually go thru it. God we’re messed up!

Datboredberry:
Lol.. yes... But there's a difference...

It's not voluntary... I thinking... Your aversion to be in a relationship... Is it delibrate?

Yes.

Datboredberry:


Nothing much.. I wanted to know if I'm the only one.. who has this phobia...

I guess if you can relate to anything.. we'll just chat.. it's easier to open up to people who understand than outsiders...

It's hard to say, "my girlfriend is perfect but I'm scared of falling in love so I'm just going to have sex and ignore her after"...

I think being scared of falling in love means you don't want to be obsessed.


I think that's your point.

The fear of obsession.


Indeed,if you don't ignore her,there might be an obsession, right


I want to be sure if this is a problem.

Well, I don't think it's possible to always be the one at fault or what exactly


What makes a person perfect??



I want us to be closer.

Is that possible


What do you think it means to be closer?


What do you think it involves?


What do you consider to be necessary in life

Observing. . .

TeddyJammy:
Observing. . .

Observing what? I wanted to know if this was the reason you don't like women... Why you're a redpiller...

I don't have the fear of falling in love. . My fear is being neglected and be shuned by someone i know i' m better than. . . Sometimes my fear isn't being afraid or shy. . I was a little bit shy when i was small, when my first girlfriend wanted to cause pains on me because i was a virqin. And i denied her having sex with me. . We only kiss and cuddle buh i was afraid of having sex with her, it on one ocassion that she wanted to force me to have sex with her, mehn i left her presence that moment cus i was a little bit shy. . To be honest. Our relationship lasted for 5 years buh if i tell you dat i didnt saw her pant u will nt believe me, buh sha she wanted to put me in the list of pfucked men buh i denied her. Now that am a matured and well trained. . she was the one that spoiled me. Cuz she was very naughty and she bleeps other dudes at what i heard abt her, that was what made me to broke up with her. .

sex is what am afraid of. .

i' m nt a redpiller
i dnt hate woman. I love them

Datboredberry:
Observing what? I wanted to know if this was the reason you don't like women... Why you're a redpiller...

I' m not a redpiller. I act how God made me which is nature. .

i dnt hate women. . I love them. If i said i hate some, its only the one's that are proud of themselves. . I hate over shakara people. Girls that do a sort of unwanted shakara. . My pains is that some ugly once will join the que. . So my dear what i believe is personality and behaviour. . . I dnt fuc.k with everybody in my town. Not every pesin i do talk with. They knw me as gentle and calm pesin. . Buh am stubborn actually because am Taurus by zodiac. I taurus love security and being cared. . .

TeddyJammy:



I' m not a redpiller. I act how God made me which is nature. .

i dnt hate women. . I love them. If i said i hate some, its only the one's that are proud of themselves. . I hate over shakara people. Girls that do a sort of unwanted shakara. . My pains is that some ugly once will join the que. . So my dear what i believe is personality and behaviour. . . I dnt fuc.k with everybody in my town. Not every pesin i do talk with. They knw me as gentle and calm pesin. . Buh am stubborn actually because am Taurus by zodiac. I taurus love security and being cared. . .

My first boyfriend was a Taurus... He was sweet, down to earth... But it didn't work out... Our personalities clashed... I had too many friends, I didn't care for him as much as he would have wanted... But we're cool... Although, he's still wants to give it a shot one more time... Four years later...

I guess you're right, you're calm...love stability...and you're gentle... The irony of how your sign is the bull... You're the most mature...

Taurus and Virgo... They were the perfect men in my life I messed with... But I'm eighteen... I'm allowed to make mistakes...

Goodnight

Datboredberry:
My first boyfriend was a Taurus... He was sweet, down to earth... But it didn't work out... Our personalities clashed... I had too many friends, I didn't care for him as much as he would have wanted... But we're cool... Although, he's still wants to give it a shot one more time... Four years later...

I guess you're right, you're calm...love stability...and you're gentle... The irony of how your sign is the bull... You're the most mature...

Taurus and Virgo... They were the perfect men in my life I messed with... But I'm eighteen... I'm allowed to make mistakes...

Goodnight

Mehn u really an experience pesin. .

you knew much about taurus. .

that means u miqht be a caring someone in mere looking. .


u better marry a taurus

Anyway Goodniqht thou. . sleep like a teddy

TeddyJammy:




u better marry a taurus

It would be the best decision.. but read this thread...

I don't think I could... I would ruin the relationship... Make him hate me... Hate myself...

I don't appreciate the idea of getting married... But I could settle down with my boyfriend... He's a stress case but he's worth it... He or a fellow Aries...

Taurus... I don't want to mess with another... I like and respect them... They are perfect partners...

Anyway Goodniqht thou. . sleep like a teddy

❤

Datboredberry:
It would be the best decision.. but read this thread...

I don't think I could... I would ruin the relationship... Make him hate me... Hate myself...

I don't appreciate the idea of getting married... But I could settle down with my boyfriend... He's a stress case but he's worth it... He or a fellow Aries...

Taurus... I don't want to mess with another... I like and respect them... They are perfect partners...

❤

Your choice thou

my gf is a cancer, i love her with passion. They are the most compitable partner to taurus. . Have read about them. . They are jux awesome with taurus being their partner.


mehn. . Bed callin. My head is filled up. . Anyway. Lemme follow u up. . Would like to be your NL Friend . . .

TeddyJammy:




Your choice thou

my gf is a cancer, i love her with passion. They are the most compitable partner to taurus. . Have read about them. . They are jux awesome with taurus being their partner.


mehn. . Bed callin. My head is filled up. . Anyway. Lemme follow u up. . Would like to be your NL Friend . . .

We're friends... Goodnight...

Datboredberry:
Thread for those of us with trust issues who fear intimacy... Who are aware that we can't maintain a relationship... No matter how perfect our partners are... No matter how hard we try to make it work...

Don't wanna settle down because for some reason, we can't... Can't seem to focus... Space- out when things get too serious... Delibrately sabotage the sh** by ghosting...

Perhaps... Past sour relationships... Abandonment issues... Childhood experiences such as neglect... Abuse... Etc.

Can't tolerate romantic gestures... Rather flirt and have sex for the pleasure and to pass time...

There's the guilt... The pressure to be 'normal'... The realisation that something's wrong... But we can't help it... Some people are just broken...

Doesn't mean we don't appreciate love when we see it... Just know we can't truly give it... Might think up scenarios where we do... But in reality, we do the exact opposite...

We've broken so many hearts cause we're the perfect lovers... For that short time, make them feel great, be on cloud nine... But they are just our 'favourites'...

A classic example of a...........

































































Yes, you heard me right.

Your choice thou

my gf is a cancer, i love her with passion. They are the most compitable partner to taurus. . Have read about them. . They are jux awesome with taurus being their partner.


mehn. . Bed callin. My head is filled up. . Anyway. Lemme follow u up. . Would like to be your NL Friend . . .

make una corn tea new to deceive unaselves with these Zodiac nonsense.