NnolimNzubechi:
Hello Nairalanders

My mom died when I was 3 years, and I was the only child she had before she died.

It's been just me and My Dad since then, My childhood was a lonely one. My Dad is 39 years while me am 19years, I will be 20 next year. My dad was young when my mom gave birth to me.

Now my problem is that, despite my age my dad still cages me, he doesn't give me freedom and he doesn't allow me to keep friends, any time he sees me talking with a male friend, he will tell me he doesn't want to see me with anybody, I can't be out side when time done pass 6pm oo or else Na wahala.

At 19 years I can't boast of 1k cos am always staying at his shop, and the thing is driving me crazy. As a man, checking my account balance and seeing (N0.00) dey make me sad, and I don't know how to tell him that I want to stop going to his shop and start a hustling for myself.

I just finished my secondary school and I thought he would give me some free hand but for where?? He gets more strict as time as goes on and its making me hate him. And my dad is a very hot tempered man, he nor dey understand at all at all. Am even tired of staying with him, I have been with him since 19 years, travel he nor dey gree make I travel.

My question is, will he ever stop being like this? I don't want any one to delay me in my life cos it seems it's what he is trying to do, i want to be wealthy at a young age. Being broke makes me feel less of a man.

Please mods move to fp,before I go run commot for house

I hope you see this o.p, I was once exactly in your shoes I lost my mum when when was 8, single dad too, he raised me and my younger brother for like 10 years before he married again, much younger wife though , see the thing is, please try to enjoy this while it lasts , lol I know it might sound weird but please yes enjoy it, it's so cold outside bro.

my dad was protective too i remember him not allowing me to travel alone for my first and second jamb, only difference between my dad and yours is that mine later remarry and he was still strict, I just hope you don't learn the hard way like me,

he sees you as more of a friend (trust me you are all he's got) and knows he can't keep you around for long,
I started seeing changes when I enter uni, me that I was trying to get away from him I tot he hate me, he would call me and we would talk on phone till we were just hearing each other breathe

long story short, he died when I clocked 20 in 2017, that freedom I wanted all those years, I finally got it and spoiler alert, it is shit, hard, harsh, people are crazy and fugazi your dad is just tryna protect you , you will understand as time goes

Me that i will give all I got just to go back to when my dad was over protective , I miss him so much

op enjoy your dad abeg yes I said what I said enjoy

You better enjoy it while it last as someone said....

When you eter that street your body deh hot to enter and you are not prepared?

You willl run back and popsy man wont even give you zero attention...


Street is not for d weak.....Prepare you mind and brain....

Your dad no want make you loose guard....friends are nothing but trouble...

Use your head...

You should be happy he did not remarry.

gidado14:

who feeds you? who buy cloth for you? where do you work? my guy if you don't have any of the question I asked you are still a baby just let him continue babysitting untill you get those.

To be able to do all that for himself, he needs freedom first.

Joygift3666:
You should be happy he did not remarry.

It would’ve been better if he had remarried, then his life wouldn’t revolve around his son’s.

Your dad is only trying to safe guard you from the ills of society, he may seem over protective & thrifty but it's all for your own good. You have enough time to mingle, play, Waka and make your own money. When that time comes you will understand what your father has impacted in you.

Be patient young man you have the whole world to explore in due time.

BABANGBALI:
Omo listen to your father, don’t allow your search for freedom destroy you and your future

Fathers are not always right.
If you always listen and do as they say, it might affect your progress in life.

Mariangeles:


Fathers are not always right.
If you always listen and do as they say, it might affect your progress in life.

with Nigeria of today, that guy is too young to have what he is asking of

PAQ:
Your dad is only trying to safe guard you from the ills of society, he may seem over protective & thrifty but it's all for your own good. You have enough time to mingle, play, Waka and make your own money. When that time comes you will understand what your father has impacted in you.

Be patient young man you have the whole world to explore in due time.

no mind am, let outside begin hungry am at 19

Limassol:
Not even in 50 years from now will this sort of parenting be acceptable. Like i said, the Father may meant well, yet research has shown such parenting methods are not only ineffective but also pose negative longterm effects.

Hello, I’m interested in this view. Kindly point me to a few resources that backs this up.

BABANGBALI:
with Nigeria of today, that guy is too young to have what he is asking of

He’s not too young. He’s a young adult already.
He needs to explore life, make mistakes and learn from them. And the time right.

Obwai cut chain ASAP no time

Maybe because you're still behaving like a kid

Mariangeles:


He’s not too young. He’s a young adult already.
He needs to explore life, make mistakes and learn from them. And the time right.

ok let me check google. My final answer……he is too young

Mariangeles:


It would’ve been better if he had remarried, then his life wouldn’t revolve around his son’s.

Your posts always make double sense. Why?











Like how old are you? 'cos I imagine you are like 89....with grey hair.
Same time....let me just keep the rest to my chest!
I like the way you think.

brain54:

Your posts always make double sense. Why?











Like how old are you? 'cos I imagine you are like 89....with grey hair.
Same time....let me just keep the rest to my chest!

Well, my grandfather did say I’m his mother reincarnated.

Mariangeles:


Well, my grandfather did say I’m his mother reincarnated.

Well... welcome grand mother. I like the way you think.

NnolimNzubechi:
Hello Nairalanders

My mom died when I was 3 years, and I was the only child she had before she died.

It's been just me and My Dad since then, My childhood was a lonely one. My Dad is 39 years while me am 19years, I will be 20 next year. My dad was young when my mom gave birth to me.

Now my problem is that, despite my age my dad still cages me, he doesn't give me freedom and he doesn't allow me to keep friends, any time he sees me talking with a male friend, he will tell me he doesn't want to see me with anybody, I can't be out side when time done pass 6pm oo or else Na wahala.

At 19 years I can't boast of 1k cos am always staying at his shop, and the thing is driving me crazy. As a man, checking my account balance and seeing (N0.00) dey make me sad, and I don't know how to tell him that I want to stop going to his shop and start a hustling for myself.

I just finished my secondary school and I thought he would give me some free hand but for where?? He gets more strict as time as goes on and its making me hate him. And my dad is a very hot tempered man, he nor dey understand at all at all. Am even tired of staying with him, I have been with him since 19 years, travel he nor dey gree make I travel.

My question is, will he ever stop being like this? I don't want any one to delay me in my life cos it seems it's what he is trying to do, i want to be wealthy at a young age. Being broke makes me feel less of a man.

Please mods move to fp,before I go run commot for house

your best form to declear independence is to get admission to a university,he can no longer monitor you and the obsession will pass away,but at 19 yrs going to 20yrs I think you are already going past your prime to study,my son that is 19 yrs is already in 2nd year in the university and there are times I don't even see him for months,try and get admission and get a degree,that is a big advantage,if you want to hustle freelance ,my brother I am an igboman and knows about money,making money is the hardest task that a man can think of and it is not as easy as what you watch in the movies.

NnolimNzubechi:
Hello Nairalanders


My question is, will he ever stop being like this? I don't want any one to delay me in my life cos it seems it's what he is trying to do, i want to be wealthy at a young age. Being broke makes me feel less of a man.

Please mods move to fp,before I go run commot for house

PAY ATTENTION.
OR SIMPLY IGNORE.

You are in a rush to grow up and make mistakes that will take you backwards 19 years.

In all this your big boy talk, i didn't see you mention anything about education or are you part of the SCHOOL NA SCAM gang? Have you learnt up to 5 skills? Can you even stand in front of a crowd and make a good speech that will make them see you as a sensible person or are you just another piece of trash that thinks he is now a man because of he has lived 19 years on earth? Yes, your age is the only thing you mentioned here. You have nothing else.

You hate the man because you have not seen other 39 year old men that spend their whole day begging for beer and cigar in smelling joints with no plan to have a child for the next 10 years. And you might end up like this if you don't humble yourself and organize your life now you are staying in free house.

If you like when your papa talk, you talk back and shout because you are a man. You better not turn yourself into a curse to that man's life at the same time curse your future with bad results.

If i ask you 5 questions grown man you will fail all of them.

BABANGBALI:
no mind am, let outside begin hungry am at 19

You’re saying this about a young man of 19? Ok.

The truth is, his father wants control his life.
He’s not even letting him keep friends.
I even doubt if he plans on sending him to the university.

brain54:

Well... welcome grand mother. I like the way you think.

Thank you.

Mariangeles:


You’re saying this about a young man of 19? Ok.

The truth is, his father wants control his life.
He’s not even letting him keep friends.
I even doubt if he plans on sending him to the university.

I’m sure the boy over put salt and pepper in the story jo, just to win our sympathy


Mynd44 put mouth for this matter now

You are your dad are still young ,some of us are over 40 and still single with no child ,so nothing wrong with what your dad is doing.He is just trying to protect you

He was about your age when he gave birth to you, he da fear make you no toll that route.
Sit him down and talk to him, plan on furthering your education, if all this no work, just relax wen his action reach you wella, the man in you go revolt

Ask your papa the story of him and your mum then you will know he is protecting you. He is a smart man. History must not repeat itself on you. Appreciate him, he is a father indeed.

Shut the fucckkk up and get lostt. Did I condemn the dad? I can remember when we were growing up as children, we used to have a savings box where he had some little monies, so I understand how he feels, that's why I said he should be patient.

Crenzywilliams:

What's this one even saying? Enough financial support? Did he tell you he lacks anything?

make it and change it.

Sometimes I wish I could reverse the my age back to your age and make the right decisions for myself but nothing spoiled we dey hustle am

You should be grateful God gave you one of the best father. Young man you will never appreciate what you have until you lose it. Taking care of you all by himself for so many years and not even remarry, how many dad can sacrifice their time for this even some women can't do this. pls, i know you want to be free but be careful, he loves you and doesn't want to lose you.
i think he transfer all the love and care he had for your mom to your. see, i really miss my dad because he's always protective and we didn't understand this till when he was no more, 15yrs now and i always wish he was alive. so listen to your father he will surely grant you your freedom one day just prove to him he can trust you.

I went through similar experience. Though I lost my Dad instead when I was a lil boy and my mom raised me with iron hands.
Today I am so glad she did. Am 50 now.
I had peers pressure when I was your age, and on so many occasions I could have made mistakes that would have really derailed me from a prosperous future.
Trust me bro. Please don't fight for your freedom at 19 because at 19 years old you don't really know what life is all about and you can easily make a stupid decision. Rather hold on till you successfully bag your first degree.
Nigeria is really hard now you really need your brains intact to breakthrough.
If you was my son , I would do the same thing your father is doing to you now and even more because I knew how many times I nearly messed up my future.
So please hang on there brother. Focus more on gaining admission and study a good course and graduate on time. Then your freedom will really be enjoyable

ahnie:
Freedom is coming to Soweto sooner than expected.

This is an underrated comment.