Wishing is not a bad thing.

Though I would make it reality soooner than you expect

N101:


When you "settle down" it means you have established an exclusive relationship, committing yourself to that one person, after being unmarried. This also means all your energies should be dedicated to making that relationship mutually beneficial to both of you. It is no more "me" mine" and "I" but "we" us" and "ours".  Marriage has its highs and lows, but you learn a lot about yourself and the other person along the way.

Unfortunately it seems a lot of people get married for the wrong reasons and choose to do dishonourable things whilst married.  When people focus on themselves and not the other person, they choose to live as though they are unsettled thus the extramarital boyfriends and girlfriends.

No, Marriage is not "settling down".

It is the beginning of another struggling.

The only difference is that the struggling is no multiplied.

I am getting married in 2 months, We are alike on many aspects and different on other less important aspects. We are young, and not naive. I have worked hard for the little that I have and certainly want to keep working hard with somebody else that I can lean on and reap the benefits of that hard work together, Bracing myself for reality, and hopefully I have done my best to ensure that the fall is not going to be too hard - but at the same time I can't help but thinking that a careful, thoughtful, unrushed choice of a partner as well as the circumstances of that "partnership" would/should provide a cushion for that "hard reality". But certainly not going in there telling myself that things are going to be tough and difficult 99% of the time as people on here make it seem and that the next 40-60 years (if i live that long) of my life will be focused on the difficulties of marital life. There is gotta more to it, I mean I hope there is more to it

Franky boy:

Mostimes women are desperate to get married,basically due to security reasons, financial security, emotional security, physical security(cos they know they fade fast like d sunset), and when married, they put all d security burden on a man and take his name in exchange for the burden, dont get me wrong here, i do not mean women do not contribute to a home financially and otherwise, but their mind is now in a state of absolute rest(and dats why they easily blow up, even without eating)
. And for you brothers, thats when you know the innate character of most women(most times u re shocked at how callous nd terrible they can be). So ladies cut that crap of sharing your love with someone nd bla bla bla, women re basically the happiest on their wedding day, inrespective of what they feel for a man, cos now they have got a life mugu, while they can now be madams nd express all their negative attributes.

MEN BEWARE: Marriage should not be rushed into cos of feminine pressure, societal pressure,or love pressure(cos reality always dawns),u should be aware of what you are going into, women always do change, nd most times for the worse.Marriage is the biggest school of life,it teaches you  of the infallibility and inconsistency of the human nature.Its never a destination,its a journey, nd d road can get bumby at times.

You should tread carefully here, because men bring as much drama into marriage as women.  Men too rush into marriage to cover a multitude of sins i.e. still having "runs" whilst preparing to get married, poor communicators, emotionally distant, insecure, not financially responsible etc.

It takes two to make a marriage work and to make it fail.  How many threads are there on NL where men got "pressured" into getting married - how can a so-called adult allow his family to bully him into marrying when he doesn't feel ready to?  If he chooses not to shine his eye well, he shouldn't be surprised at the type of wife he ends up with.  Not all women are materialistic and not all men are womanisers.

emmatok:


No, Marriage is not "settling down".

It is the beginning of another struggling.

The only difference is that the struggling is no multiplied.

A "struggle" for who and in what sense?

when you 're married, you're settled down,

N101:

A "struggle" for who and in what sense?

Before you get married you struggle to feed your self,house yourself, built your career and try to make yourself comfortable financially and other wise.

After you get married that struggle is not about you alone, it now includes the wife and children.

You have to feed them, cloth them, house them, send them to school. e.t.c

You only "settle down" when you are old and your children are successful.

Funny topic.

No.

Keep telling my friends if you be a girlfriend, unless something happens, you can't be with a wife.

marriage is not settling down but its begining

Marriage is simply fucking legalised. Gone are the days when marriage is considered glorious and beautiful. Pls tell me what new things u do when u get married that u haven't done with each other b4 marriage. Marriage is just formality and nothing more

Mostimes women are desperate to get married,basically due to security reasons, financial security, emotional security, physical security(cos they know they fade fast like d sunset), and when married, they put all d security burden on a man and take his name in exchange for the burden, dont get me wrong here, i do not mean women do not contribute to a home financially and otherwise, but their mind is now in a state of absolute rest(and dats why they easily blow up, even without eating)
. And for you brothers, thats when you know the innate character of most women(most times u re shocked at how callous nd terrible they can be). So ladies cut that crap of sharing your love with someone nd bla bla bla, women re basically the happiest on their wedding day, inrespective of what they feel for a man, cos now they have got a life mugu, while they can now be madams nd express all their negative attributes.

MEN BEWARE: Marriage should not be rushed into cos of feminine pressure, societal pressure,or love pressure(cos reality always dawns),u should be aware of what you are going into, women always do change, nd most times for the worse.Marriage is the biggest school of life,it teaches you of the infallibility and inconsistency of the human nature.Its never a destination,its a journey, nd d road can get bumby at times.


Guy u sound very bitter, who did this to u.Please just becos it didn't work for u does not mean it wil be thesame with other pple.Try and move on
guy y

welcome! welcome! MISCHI to nairaland!!!
@ Flyboy Zee who says
Lyk she is religious and churchy to a fault. Anything, a Pastor says is a law to her that must be carried out to the letter (She is very gullible to Pastors). But, not so with me, I take everything , whether from Pastor or not with a pinch of salt, go home, examine and re-examine them, make a thorough analysis, checking the pros and cons, before taking a decision. All these we knew b4 we got married[/color].

u said u actually lived togeda before u married that means she is either not that religious otherwise she wouldnt have lived with u b4 marriage or ur actually wrong and she doesnt listen to everything her pastor tells her or did he not tell that "ikwa iko"fornication is a sin , maybe her pastor is one dem feel good pastors after one thing
alone, u decide wot the one thing is lol

For a woman, YES! Coz she now has a permanent mugu she can nag to death, give all kinds of bullsh$$ and he won't do anything coz according to some religious sects, "divorce is not an option". The day a man marries is the day peace leaves his life and unending troubles begin. A woman is settled with a lifetime mugu the day she marries.

N101:

men bring as much drama into marriage as women. 

I need to give you a handshake. Bang!

emmatok:

Before you get married you struggle to feed your self,house yourself, built your career and try to make yourself comfortable financially and other wise.

After you get married that struggle is not about you alone, it now includes the wife and children.

You have to feed them, cloth them, house them, send them to school. e.t.c

You only "settle down" when you are old and your children are successful.

That's not "settling down", that's being retired.  I'm always amazed when people have children and act surprised, as if they didn't think it would happen all the while they were sleeping with their spouse, or in the nine months before the child is born!

Only people who plan their family well won't find it a struggle.  Even if it's unplanned and they are prepared for whatever comes their way, why would it be a struggle? The only way it will feel like a struggle is if you feel trapped or think you've married the wrong person.

LeoMax: There is no word like settling down. Marriage is a bumpy ride. Infact, I have planned to get married for kids and divorce latter. I cant stand it. Or i simply buy a house abroad and keep my wife there. I need to flex around.

How old are u self.Anyway, why marry at all to cause some one mistery, when you could just remain single and get a lady to be your baby mama. Your would be wife is not a property that you just purchase and store somewhere. She equally a human being like u.I advice that u remain unmarried with this mentality of yours.