HRSweetness:
You are fascinating. But many people confuse fascinating for controversial.

Why the undecided look+ don't you trust me?

No, I actually call that the "thinker" moniker... my chosen TM here on Nairaland....

With all due admiration, Madam sometimes it's best you stay mute..You wabi chat and say rubbish..

Kobojunkie:
No, I actually call that the "thinker" moniker... my chosen TM here on Nairaland....

Oh, that's what you mean? chei, it's good to ask questions.

Yes, that's your trade mark.

What's your occupation? I'm guessing you live anywhere else but Naija? I hope there isn't any line I'm crossing?

HRSweetness:
Oh, that's what you mean? chei, it's good to ask questions.

Yes, that's your trade mark.

1. What's your occupation?

2. I'm guessing you live anywhere else but Naija? I hope there isn't any line I'm crossing?

Occupation? Good question! Long story but short of it is that I believe I am a "fisher of men" but awaiting deployment, or something like that.

2. I live in Chicago.

Kobojunkie:
Occupation? Good question! Long story but short of it is that I believe I am a "fisher of men" but awaiting deployment, or something like that.

2. I live in Chicago.

You're in ministry? Wow, didn't see that coming. I saw you in communications.

Me, I'm a highly skilled smart money woman. So I get plenty occupation from interior architecture to organizing and hosting corporate events to professional writing.

Do you visit Naija at all?

HRSweetness:
1. You're in ministry? Wow, didn't see that coming. I saw you in communications.

Me, I'm a highly skilled smart money woman. So I get plenty occupation from interior architecture to organizing and hosting corporate events to professional writing.

Do you visit Naija at all?

1. HELL NO! Ministeries aka churches are nothing but social businesses built by men for the glory and benefit of men and their kingdoms here on earth. Jesus Christ never asked anyone for such foolishness in His name so all that has nothing to do with what He in fact asked His followers to do.

I am a follower of Jesus Christ and my job or task as a "fisher of men" generally entails doing works of righteousness, this addition to trusting and obeying God's New Covenant which is the Law for every citizen of the Kingdom of God,

To become what I am today, I had to abandon my former career/occupation , and for good reason - one has to abandon it all in order to obtain His Kingdom.

2. Growing up in Nigerian wasn't easy for me at all. Hard to find those who reasoned as I did, and I struggled since I found it really hard adjusting to the way things were back there. So, since I am still not in a rush to go back, unless I am deployed back there for work maybe.

Kobojunkie:
1. HELL NO! Ministeries aka churches are nothing but social businesses built by men for the glory and benefit of men and their kingdoms here on earth. Jesus Christ never asked anyone for such foolishness in His nakme so all that has nothing to do with what He in fact asked His followers to do.

I am a follower of Jesus Christ and my job or task as a "fisher of men" generally entails doing works of righteousness, this addition to trusting and obeying God's New Covenant which is the Law for every citizen of the Kingdom of God,

To become what I am today, I had to abandon my former career/occupation , and for good reason - one has to abandon it all in order to obtain His Kingdom.

2. Growing up in Nigerian wasn't easy for me at all. Hard to find those who reasoned as I did, and I struggled since I found it really hard adjusting to the way things were back there. So, since I am still not in a rush to go back, unless I am deployed back there for work maybe.

Hmmm, you're certainly not regular. So are you on your own? You don't belong to any body with a structure?

What was your former occupation and what do you currently do for money?

How long have you been away?

Please don't get weary of my questions, I have a curious mind and I'm hardly fascinated by people so when I meet people who fascinate me, I want to peel each layer they have on.

Kobojunkie, what about the churches referred to in the new testament? The churches planted by the disciples of Christ.

HRSweetness:
1. Hmmm, you're certainly not regular. So are you on your own? You don't belong to any body with a structure?

2. What was your former occupation and what do you currently do for money?

3. How long have you been away?

4. Please don't get weary of my questions, I have a curious mind and I'm hardly fascinated by people so when I meet people who fascinate me, I want to peel each layer they have on.

1. The only structure Jesus Christ taught His disciples of is His Church, built and managed by Him and Him alone...

2. I was a software engineer for about 16 years prior. I had to give it all up, including possessions , in order to gain Heaven- Matthew 13 vs 44 - 46 - and right now, I don't do anything for money. He gives me what He will when He will and I live as He leads - "seek ye first the Kingdom of God , and His righteousness, and all other things will be added onto you"... that's the process I am still working through.

3. Away from Nigeria, this is my 22nd year.

4. I don't mind the questions at all.

HRSweetness:
Kobojunkie, what about the churches referred to in the new testament? The churches planted by the disciples of Christ.

You have to be specific about what you mean by "planted" here.

Kobojunkie:
1. The only structure Jesus Christ taught His disciples of is His Church, built and managed by Him and Him alone...

2. I was a software engineer for about 16 years prior. I had to give it all up, including possessions , in order to gain Heaven- Matthew 13 vs 44 - 46 - and right now, I don't do anything for money. He gives me what He will when He will and I live as He leads - "seek ye first the Kingdom of God , and His righteousness, and all other things will be added onto you"... that's the process I am still working through.

3. Away from Nigeria, this is my 22nd year.

4. I don't mind the questions at all.

Point 4: thank you.

So how does He give you what you need? People donate to you?

You had an interesting career, again, would never have guessed.

Christ never taught that the church would be managed by him alone. Why then did He need disciples?

Kobojunkie:
You have to be specific about what you mean by "planted" here.

Christianity was spread by the disciples through the churches they started. The Bible references various churches in the new testament.

HRSweetness:
Point 4: thank you.
1. So how does He give you what you need? People donate to you?

2. You had an interesting career, again, would never have guessed.

3. Christ never taught that the church would be managed by him alone. Why then did He need disciples?

1. He just makes it available. I haven't been to a store - I don't even buy anything - in more than 8 months, yet I lack nothing. He provides by using people around me to do it without my even asking them. I don't solicit donations from anyone.

2. Yeah, I worked as a consultant for all that time and made big money too. But I wanted more than just the typical existence... had always desired it but didn't know how until I found God some years ago.

3. He did. God decreed this so in Ezekiel 34 vs 1 - 16, and Jesus Christ repeated this in His teachings and commandments- God's New Covenant agreement and Law in the Kingdom of God. In the Kingdom of God, not only is Jesus Christ the only Master, over each of His followers, He is also the only Shepherd, Teacher, Helper, Head/Authority, Comforter, Counselor, Guide etc. , over each individual who belongs in His Church. He alone is the vine and His followers are branches directly on the vine.

Kobojunkie:
1. He just makes it available. I haven't been to a store - I don't even buy anything - in more than 8 months, yet I lack nothing. He provides by using people around me to do it without my even asking them. I don't solicit donations from anyone.

2. Yeah, I worked as a consultant for all that time and made big money too. But I wanted more than just the typical existence... had always desired it but didn't know how until I found God some years ago.

3. He did. God decreed this so in Ezekiel 34 vs 1 - 16, and Jesus Christ repeated this in His teachings and commandments- God's New Covenant agreement and Law in the Kingdom of God. In the Kingdom of God, not only is Jesus Christ the only Master, over each of His followers, He is also the only Shepherd, Teacher, Helper, Head/Authority, Comforter, Counselor, Guide etc. , over each individual who belongs in His Church. He alone is the vine and His followers are branches directly on the vine.

But you do have family living with you?

Is the Holy Spirit not the teacher and helper that Jesus sent when he departed to Heaven?

HRSweetness:
Christianity was spread by the disciples through the churches they started. The Bible references various churches in the new testament.

How did the disciples start the churches you mention? I want to understand what you mean when you say these things.

A church(in the world) refers to a group of people who share similar belief or doctrine. The apostles wrote letters to such groups of believers in different cities, that is why we read of in their epistles.

HRSweetness:
1. But you do have family living with you?

2.Is the Holy Spirit not the teacher and helper that Jesus sent when he departed to Heaven?

Yes, I moved back to Chicago about a year ago and have been staying with family since.

2. There are two helpers... the Spirit of Truth(Jesus Christ) and the Holy Spirit(God Himself). John 14 vs 15 - 25 & John 16.

Kobojunkie:
How did the disciples start the churches you mention? I want to understand what you mean when you say these things.

A church(in the world) refers to a group of people who share similar belief or doctrine. The apostles wrote letters to such groups of believers in different cities, that is why we read of in their epistles.

The church is a group of people who believe in and follow Jesus and are reminded of and revealed to, the teachings of Jesus and the ways of God.

The first church started in Jerusalem on the day of Pentecost with 120 disciples and spread thereafter.

Kobojunkie:
Yes, I moved back to Chicago about a year ago and have been staying with family since.

2. There are two helpers... the Spirit of Truth(Jesus Christ) and the Holy Spirit(God Himself). John 14 vs 15 - 25 & John 16.

I'm going to have to request that we continue this conversation tomorrow? It's past 12am here. LOL.

HRSweetness:
The church is a group of people who believe in and follow Jesus and are reminded of and revealed to, the teachings of Jesus and the ways of God.

The first church started in Jerusalem on the day of Pentecost with 120 disciples and spread thereafter.

So, the first group where sent out by Jesus Christ, and lead by the Holy Spirit to teach the same Gospel Jesus Christ taught to them to others in the world. So, how what then do you mean when you say the disciples "planted" churches?

HRSweetness:
I 'm going to have to request that we continue this conversation tomorrow? It's past 12am here. LOL.

No problem! I am online a lot.

descarado:
I will break the engagement.
Very big red flag not to be overlooked.

Not meeting someone in the middle is a no no no
Stubbornness is a no no no
Most importantly,not health conscious in this age and time is a kill joy.
Sometimes love is not enough.

Some times?

Lover is NEVER enough every time.

.

Kobojunkie:
You are looking for someone who will "learn from and do as you instruct. This woman is likely not that kind. Does not mean there is anything wrong with her.... instead you want someone who will bow to your whim.

I suggest you let the lady know she is disqualified. And go seek and find that women who will submit to your whims instead.

You too dey argue rubbish.

Excess salt is a minor problem (you can always avoid her food). You have a bigger problem ahead, which is failing to listen or being defensive when corrected. I hope you're not exaggerating the issue because being overly defensive is a MAJOR red flag. I used to know someone that would argue or pick a fight with you for not agreeing with her that Osogbo is the capital of Kano.

And the circle continues.....man sees woman, he loves her,he asked her hand, she says yes,little flags present, they couldn't iron it out, they get married, little flags got bigger,......


Dude, what is wrong with you? The salt is not good for your health, yet you would continue to eat it so not to offend he ? High blood pressure, kidney disease, etc . After everything, you will eventually get to know that nothing but our good health matters! Good luck.

sisisioge:
;DAnd the circle continues.....man sees woman, he loves her,he asked her hand, she says yes,little flags present, they couldn't iron it out, they get married, little flags got bigger,......

There is no such relationship without flags to begin with, Why? Because so long as we are humans, they will always be there.

What we can do is spot them and workaround them just like this couple, and so many others have and can. Awareness of their existence is no reason to bail on the relationship immediately, but to find a workaround before fully committing.

Kobojunkie:
There is no such relationship without flags to begin with, Why? Because so long as we are humans, they will always be there.

What we can do is spot them and workaround them just like this couple, and so many others have and can. Awareness of their existence is no reason to bail on the relationship immediately, but to find a workaround before fully committing.

Well, you're correct. But when those flags couldn't be ironed out yet the couple move ahead with their relationship, they become the reasons for several marriage lamentation threads. If you follow the sequence up there, you would see that inability to resolve usually precedes the bigger problems. Good morning

sisisioge:
Well, you're correct. But when those flags couldn't be ironed out yet the couple move ahead with their relationship, they become the reasons for several marriage lamentation threads. If you follow the sequence up there, you would see that inability to resolve usually precedes the bigger problems. Good morning

But how are red flags to be "ironed out"?

As for the marriage lamentation threads, let's be honest with ourselves here. The vast majority of those threads are created by individuals who went into marriage believe they had power to correct red flags to begin with.

Again, every relationship that involves human beings has red flags - there exists no relationship without them. So the question is are we meant to correct those red flags or find a way to negotiate the red flags/issues instead or find other partners whose red flags we can better tolerate.

Another issue I note is how people tend to generalize as far as red flags are concerned. What may be a red flag/issue for one person may not be for another. To the OP, the salty food isn't his issue here. He made it quit clear that his big problem is she does not take correction from him. His expectation is that his partner must llsten and be corrected by him.

Kobojunkie:
But how are red flags to be "ironed out"?

As for the marriage lamentation threads, let's be honest with ourselves here. The vast majority of those threads are created by individuals who went into marriage believe they had power to correct red flags to begin with.

Again, every relationship that involves human beings has red flags - there exists no relationship without them. So the question is are we meant to correct those red flags or find a way to negotiate the red flags/issues instead or find other partners whose red flags we can better tolerate.

Another issue I note is how people tend to generalize as far as red flags are concerned. What may be a red flag/issue for one person may not be for another. To the OP, the salty food isn't his issue here. He made it quit clear that his big problem is she does not take correction from him. His expectation is that his partner must llsten and be corrected by him.

Hmmmm....looks like you still didnt get it. Indeed differences will always be present in relationships as our individuality will always sufface. But they become red flags when the other party perceives them as disturbing behaviours/attitude and must be resolved before the relationship move ahead or each should go their own way.

For instance, in OP's case, his madam thinks salty food his ok and refused to listen to a reasoning contrary to her thought. Two things there.... The babe is hurting their collective health as well as blocking reasoning! Can you begin to comprehend how many more voice of reasoning she would block because she doesnt listen or believe? Please forget his choice of words and focus on the real issue....that babe is not only going to cause both of them some health problems in the near future, shes going to be difficult to communicate with!

Those are huge red flags....health recklessness and difficult to communicate with. How do one iron this out? Communication still! But wait, she cant be communicated, she blocks....then the red flag become a broader issue. The one tool to address problem A is a problem B for madam. If this can not be addressed, better go your separate ways to avoid bigger issues in the future. Ability to have clear communication with ones spouse strengthens relationships more than even sex. It should never be compromised.

Again,if they cant address this, no point moving ahead. I like very simple solutions to problems.

Kobojunkie:
1. I don't agree with you there. Also, listening to and reasoning with a partner is different from taking correction from a partner.

2. A relationship is an agreement between two adults, not a school where one partner "teaches" the other anything. The word compromise should be used instead of the word "correction here.

3. Agreements are not reached in a flash - it happens over time.

How do you listen to, reason with, and compromise with a partner that wants to harm your health with excessive in take of salt and has flatly refuse to be mendable to correction despite repeated warnings from her better half?

Are you suggesting the OP takes it in good faith because of your stubbornness and strong headedness aversion to the word" correction "?

The Lady in question I bet, will not even take to a Doctor's correction to Safe guard her health and that of her unborn child if she happens to get pregnant.

Some one is slowly poisoning her husband to be, Kobojunkie is of the opinion the husband should listen to, and reason with his future killer, compromise and even accept his fate with love.

Onepointfiveodds:
I've tried everything in my power to correct her in love but she's always defensive and most times end up fighting me for correcting her..

I'm engaged to be married to her in few months and i love her so much. I really don't have a problem with the fact that she put too much salt in everything but she can't be corrected and i don't know how else to go about it.

This salt stuffs isn't really good for my health.

Too much salt is poison to your system.

It's sth to nip in the bud

Kobojunkie:
But how are red flags to be "ironed out"?

As for the marriage lamentation threads, let's be honest with ourselves here. The vast majority of those threads are created by individuals who went into marriage believe they had power to correct red flags to begin with.

Again, every relationship that involves human beings has red flags - there exists no relationship without them. So the question is are we meant to correct those red flags or find a way to negotiate the red flags/issues instead or find other partners whose red flags we can better tolerate.

Another issue I note is how people tend to generalize as far as red flags are concerned. What may be a red flag/issue for one person may not be for another. To the OP, the salty food isn't his issue here. He made it quit clear that his big problem is she does not take correction from him. His expectation is that his partner must llsten and be corrected by him.

Now i see whr the problem is, you probably must have misinterpreted one or two of my words. What i meant by that statement is YES, no one is without flaws, i don't have a problem with hers. Buh as couples, i expect us to have a way to work around those flaws. Sadly In my own case she isn't always ready to reason with me on how to go about it.

This isn't a case of dogmatism at all.