I am really worried about my wife and the way things are going in my marriage recently. I need your advice guys. I got married three years ago, and i married a beautiful and very understanding wife, she is the type that always does anything to satisfy me sexually and always want to make sure am satisfied.

Just one year after our marriage, she got pregnant and during the pregnancy she still does all her best to satisfy me sexually and i also understand when she is not in the mood. But after she gave birth my wife changed a lot, 1year after birth my wife will always complain about not in the mood for s*x. She is still the good and nice woman i know but the only problem we are having is just that when it comes to the sexual aspect, she is always not in the mood. Anytime i tried to pressure her about me going outside to satisfy my s*x urge, she will accept me reluctantly and during the s*x, she will always cry and sometimes she just frown her face after we are done. Its like she does not feel her ss*x drive anymore and this has been giving me a lot of worry.

What should i do? Continue living like that because sometimes we might not even have s*x for a month. And its not kind of easy for me.

Man shall not live by sex alone

Give her some time to heal

Try as much as you can to sit her down and reason with her.
Perhaps she is going thru stress
Pls okay





No Gaybriel
Back back cos he bleep anus

Is marriage all about sex

Op sit her down and discuss it with her.... And please give her some space.. No carry d sex matter for head as u can't survive

Maybe Mummy G.O has warned her that anybody that likes lashing tooo much would languish in Hell .



If you want to go to Hell , continue disturbing her for lashing

Are you a husband Everything can't be solved through third party. Have you noticed her yourself in how she reacts at home? Nobody will give you any answers unless you read out what you wrote here to her when she is happy. Or you are not the romantic type A married lady here once chatted with me that since her husband started drinking gin, she always feels like vomiting if her husband wants to kiss her because of the odour, I told her she shouldn't let anyone know, but with love let him know how you are feeling with the smell. They solved it happly which I didn't bothered to ask what she did, they are both happy together

She's cheating on you.

She's obviously stressed.What kind of work is your wife involved in?Do you have a help at home or she does most house chores with the baby?

You need to relieve her of stress first and then speak to her in a calm maner about the situation.

Hmm

One year after? Too long. Seek professional counsel.

“Team: Is it food?” Is yet to enter this group chat.

New moms often tell me that since their baby was born, they've lost interest in sex. No matter how their partner tries to get them in the mood, they just can't seem to get their body to respond. They come to me wondering what's going on, and what they can do about it.


This is a very common problem, particularly after the first baby. Your body has been through many changes, and these changes will affect your sexual drive after you deliver. The effects of stress and worry that a new mother experiences should not be overlooked. You're probably getting less sleep, possibly feeling a touch of postpartum blues caused by hormonal fluctuations, and grappling with a very different body image than before your pregnancy. You need to be patient with yourself and know that this is a temporary problem.

Breastfeeding can play a significant role in diminished sexual interest as well. Estrogen is an important hormone that decreases with breastfeeding and this can affect your vaginal tissues. The most common vaginal side effects of decreased estrogen are dryness and a "pins and needles" feeling during intercourse. Understandably, this has a negative effect on your mood. When you resume relations, it's important to use lubricants to help protect the tissues and minimize the discomfort of vaginal dryness.

Your partner should understand that patience and reassurance, and not saying, "This is just in your mind," is the key to helping you regain your interest in sex. Don't rush yourself. Instead, indulge in other forms of closeness and physical pleasure such as massages or long, hot showers.

If several months go by without any improvement at all, talk with your gynecologist. She can examine you to rule out any other potential causes for your decreased libido

culled www.parents.com

Themainboy22:
She's cheating on you.

Where is the cheating? when the husband himself couldn't figure or act like a man to tell his wife what is bothering him. Social media advisers sometimes add troubles to their wahala

NasoLifeBe

Person use you as escape route, while she exchange the help u render her with sex, but u force her to marry you by giving her unwanted pregnancy,now all those hyping gat no meaning to her again.

You are not are type, right from beginning.

The guy she left for you because e no get money don finally make am na there here eyes dey now.

princeemmma:
I am really worried about my wife and the way things are going in my marriage recently. I need your advice guys. I got married three years ago, and i married a beautiful and very understanding wife, she is the type that always does anything to satisfy me sexually and always want to make sure am satisfied.

Just one year after our marriage, she got pregnant and during the pregnancy she still does all her best to satisfy me sexually and i also understand when she is not in the mood. But after she gave birth my wife changed a lot, 1year after birth my wife will always complain about not in the mood for s*x. She is still the good and nice woman i know but the only problem we are having is just that when it comes to the sexual aspect, she is always not in the mood. Anytime i tried to pressure her about me going outside to satisfy my s*x urge, she will accept me reluctantly and during the s*x, she will always cry and sometimes she just frown her face after we are done. Its like she does not feel her ss*x drive anymore and this has been giving me a lot of worry.

What should i do? Continue living like that because sometimes we might not even have s*x for a month. And its not kind of easy for me.

You should know childbirth has an effect on a couple's sex life..but I think you need to seek professional help..
You might not understand what she is going through...the pains after birthing a kid.
Her vagina being torn and the rest.. she's too tired..she probably is swollen and has stitches in her perenium..

Seeek professional help let her get examined..then Wait until the doctor ensures she's healed from childbirth...

Bola146:


Where is the cheating? when the husband himself couldn't figure or act like a man to tell his wife what is bothering him. Social media advisers sometimes add troubles to their wahala

Maybe she has that post partum thingy.

SportsHD:

Maybe she has that post partum thingy.

Nobody can answer that. Let them talk and reason together in love.

princeemmma:
I am really worried about my wife and the way things are going in my marriage recently. I need your advice guys. I got married three years ago, and i married a beautiful and very understanding wife, she is the type that always does anything to satisfy me sexually and always want to make sure am satisfied.

Just one year after our marriage, she got pregnant and during the pregnancy she still does all her best to satisfy me sexually and i also understand when she is not in the mood. But after she gave birth my wife changed a lot, 1year after birth my wife will always complain about not in the mood for s*x. She is still the good and nice woman i know but the only problem we are having is just that when it comes to the sexual aspect, she is always not in the mood. Anytime i tried to pressure her about me going outside to satisfy my s*x urge, she will accept me reluctantly and during the s*x, she will always cry and sometimes she just frown her face after we are done. Its like she does not feel her ss*x drive anymore and this has been giving me a lot of worry.

What should i do? Continue living like that because sometimes we might not even have s*x for a month. And its not kind of easy for me.

Oga u don't need Nairalanders to tell u how to run ur affairs. Sit ur wife down and talk to her to know what's responsible for her changed attitude towards sex with u. Or better still both of u visit a therapist. Make una no dey make marriage scary for those of us when want still marry abeg

Marital interference is not my thing. When you were smiling all over your pre wedding pictures even if we had warned you then I know you will never listen.

killmods:

Oga u don't need Nairalanders to tell u how to run ur affairs. Sit ur wife down and talk to her to know what's responsible for her changed attitude towards sex with u. Or better still both of u visit a therapist. Make una no dey make marriage scary for those of us when want still marry abeg

truly i should be able to run my marriage affairs, but have tried all means to talk and convince my wife, its not just working thats why am fed up

thorpido:
She's obviously stressed.What kind of work is your wife involved in?Do you have a help at home or she does most house chores with the baby?

You need to relieve her of stress first and then speak to her in a calm maner about the situation.

i help her to the extent that, when am off work, i wash her clothes, bath my daughter, sometimes i do the cooking, i do most house chores sometimes to help, but still no good turn

princeemmma:
truly i should be able to run my marriage affairs, but have tried all means to talk and convince my wife, its not just working thats why am fed up

Maybe a marriage counsellor can help

jackcanfield:
New moms often tell me that since their baby was born, they've lost interest in sex. No matter how their partner tries to get them in the mood, they just can't seem to get their body to respond. They come to me wondering what's going on, and what they can do about it.


This is a very common problem, particularly after the first baby. Your body has been through many changes, and these changes will affect your sexual drive after you deliver. The effects of stress and worry that a new mother experiences should not be overlooked. You're probably getting less sleep, possibly feeling a touch of postpartum blues caused by hormonal fluctuations, and grappling with a very different body image than before your pregnancy. You need to be patient with yourself and know that this is a temporary problem.

Breastfeeding can play a significant role in diminished sexual interest as well. Estrogen is an important hormone that decreases with breastfeeding and this can affect your vaginal tissues. The most common vaginal side effects of decreased estrogen are dryness and a "pins and needles" feeling during intercourse. Understandably, this has a negative effect on your mood. When you resume relations, it's important to use lubricants to help protect the tissues and minimize the discomfort of vaginal dryness.

Your partner should understand that patience and reassurance, and not saying, "This is just in your mind," is the key to helping you regain your interest in sex. Don't rush yourself. Instead, indulge in other forms of closeness and physical pleasure such as massages or long, hot showers.

If several months go by without any improvement at all, talk with your gynecologist. She can examine you to rule out any other potential causes for your decreased libido

culled www.parents.com

thank you, i will do my best on that

princeemmma:
i help her to the extent that, when am off work, i wash her clothes, bath my daughter, sometimes i do the cooking, i do most house chores sometimes to help, but still no good turn

It can also be biological.Some women's libido can change after childbirth.There have been some cases like that.She may need to see a gynaecologist(discuss this with her).

Na wa oh

Bro.... women go through changes during pregnancy..... did you not notice?.... you said sex was pretty much the same.... how about her diet?... cravings?... didn't you notice a change in that? After giving birth ... it's a different set of changes .... craving for certain foods at unusual hours go away and replaced by a different set of changes.... the urge for sex goes away and this is common. After nearly a year it should've been back but... I want to believe your forceful approach has a lot to do with it ... you built up an automatic wall of resistance in her... like every time you approach her for sex.... her brain hears "RAPE" and automatically goes into rape mode.... your entry brings on pain for her ... never pleasure because pleasure is shut down. ... you can't take her to orgasm because that route is shut down.... you can't even get her to become "wet" ... because her entire body and mind is on sexual lockdown. This is now a mind thing with her .... pretty much as if you been all ready, willing and able to go with a certain babe and she finally allowed you... you will be all pumped up with anxiety ... joystick firm like mahogany... and when she spread dem legs revealing the glory... you noticed two cold sores guarding the passage to pleasure... wouldn't Mr Mahogany become Mr Spaghetti? Is there anything you can do to about that? Nothing. Same way .... she goes into RAPE mode and there is nothing you can do about that. I suggest you just don't talk about sex. Start all over again as when dating.... if is watching movies together.... driving and holding hands.... lots of huggings and increasing kissing.... then petting.... showering together.... in time she will be the one to make the move. Your wife bro ... she is doing what she doesn't want to... just to please you.... it should mean something. Change strategy.

Its the frowning of face for me

Something must have prompted her.

Good evening Nairalanders, "Jackcanfield" have said it all. It a normal thing when a woman put to birth especially (new mothers) their urge for sex do change except there was an agreement during relationship and marriage on how both will be able to meet each other partners sexual needs.
Please exercise patient with her follow up gradually with her and at convenience discuss with her how you feel.
The truth is, there was no agreement neither interaction on how you both suppose to live and understand each other sexual life.

princeemmma:
I am really worried about my wife and the way things are going in my marriage recently. I need your advice guys. I got married three years ago, and i married a beautiful and very understanding wife, she is the type that always does anything to satisfy me sexually and always want to make sure am satisfied.

Just one year after our marriage, she got pregnant and during the pregnancy she still does all her best to satisfy me sexually and i also understand when she is not in the mood. But after she gave birth my wife changed a lot, 1year after birth my wife will always complain about not in the mood for s*x. She is still the good and nice woman i know but the only problem we are having is just that when it comes to the sexual aspect, she is always not in the mood. Anytime i tried to pressure her about me going outside to satisfy my s*x urge, she will accept me reluctantly and during the s*x, she will always cry and sometimes she just frown her face after we are done. Its like she does not feel her ss*x drive anymore and this has been giving me a lot of worry.

What should i do? Continue living like that because sometimes we might not even have s*x for a month. And its not kind of easy for me.

First off, you are one of the rarest of men who actually respect your wife enough to speak positively about her before stating the problem.


I applaud that.


Now, about the sex issue. Please just try to make her relaxed, take her out and overall just reduce your stress and hers.

Attract her with your grooming too. Take a bath before bed, shave the shaveables, get nice deodorants and perfumes, brush your teeth AND tongue, buy nice soaps like St Ives (1k), dress sharp when going out, give her your 'come hither' smile.

Before you say Jack Robinson, she's all over you even without the mention of sex.


If that doesn't work after 2 weeks, please report back.

Saintmary:



First off, you are one of the rarest of men who actually respect your wife enough to speak positively about her before stating the problem.


I applaud that.


Now, about the sex issue. Please just try to make her relaxed, take her out and overall just reduce your stress and hers.

Attract her with your grooming too. Take a bath before bed, shave the shaveables, get nice deodorants and perfumes, brush your teeth AND tongue, buy nice soaps like St Ives (1k), dress sharp when going out, give her your 'come hither' smile.

Before you say Jack Robinson, she's all over you even without the mention of sex.


If that doesn't work after 2 weeks, please report back.

thanks man, i will try my best