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What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? - Romance (3) - Nairaland

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Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by MrBachelor: 4:06pm On Jan 09, 2022
Rent out the apartment. Sell off the properties. And travel.
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Daytrader1: 4:18pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:
Good day Nairalanders.


I met this intelligent lady in my final year in school, she was a fresher then, we started off as friends, she gave in after I graduated while she was in 200l.

Our love was going fine but I observed she doesn't call much and hardly respond to messages on WhatsApp, many times, she will be online while my messages will be delayed before she responded, I've complained countless of time to show some real love and affection so I can know she truly loves me, but she's just that type of person that can do 1 or 2 days without talking to someone she loves. She actually loves me and I know that for a fact but she's not just showing it enough and I'm not feeling it enough.

I had the intention to sponsor her business ideal which was giving her 200k to start up her skin care products, but we had to change that plan when she was having issue with her uncle's wife, the lady was maltreating her and I wasn't comfortable with the way she was complaining of her treatment towards her, so I came up with a plan to use the money I'm supposed to give her for business to secure an apartment, my plan was, I will secure a mini flat where we can both be staying pending when she will finish school but I won't be staying around often since my job doesn't permit me.
We got the apartment after a month serach and furnished it beautifully to suit her, I thought all of this will make her change towards me and start showing so much care and affection since we both live together now, but it still doesn't change, many times, I face so many challenges in my work but she doesn't care to know what's going with my work or care to know how I'm fairing with work, so I got confused one day and thought is this lady playing me and just wasting my time, I messaged her to tell her I'm fed up of how she treats me and doesn't show so much care towards me, then told her we should breakup if she's finding it difficult to show that love she has for me, she asked if I was serious about the breakup but God knows it's just a mere threat in me and I just want her to plead for change but she took it up when I told her I meant it, now she has left the apartment I got for us and I'm here regretting why I threatened her with breakup.

The apartment I got for us is still there without any of us staying there, and I'm about relocating to another state but God knows I still want her back and make things right with her but I don't know how to win her back and she seems to have made up her mind never to come back, what advise do you have for me after this experience with her.

No matter what, don't take her back, she has been waiting for you ask that question, rent out the AP
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Dshocker(m): 4:49pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:
This is really depressing me cuz I have invested so much in our relationship and I was even thinking of sponsoring her masters in abroad.

My mental health is at stake and I may loose my mind eventually...

Have you sponsored any member of your family?
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Nobody: 4:59pm On Jan 09, 2022
Op your love for her is 95% but her love for you is approaching 0
na why she jejely detach without much drama.
Renting a mini flat for a girl wey never accept proposal from you is the 8th wonder of the world. And na wetin dey pain you.
Make I worsen your case wink
That baby girl fit get another maga wey go sponsor her and buy her the world so don't think her losing you will make her end up regretting. Just take your 'L' in peace and face your front, next time meet a girl that adores you more

1 Like

Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Shimmaa: 5:11pm On Jan 09, 2022
Hziyech:
Op is actually childish

Am glad the girl left

How?, back your claim with explanation
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Mordecai(m): 5:17pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:


How?, back your claim with explanation

Very childish.
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Shimmaa: 5:18pm On Jan 09, 2022
Justkatty:
See some persons saying move on as if it's easy

If you've ever been clingy to someone ehhh, you'll know how important the person's every second is to you.
Love is a sweet thing and become sweeter if reciprocated.
Being in love with someone who doesn't give a damn about you can be killing I swear.

Everything you wrote here, from the look of things your own love is times 3of hers.
I'll advise you get to meet her and explain how you feel, when doing that, you look out for her body language
Try spicing your relationship not just with money
Something could be bothering her, try finding out and if it's something that could be sorted out maybe through words of encouragement you can do that.
Don't always think all women are moved with wealth(money)
Just try finding out what isn't going right and speak up often but with love.
You'll be fine but just call her and apologise
Pele.

Thanks for this,

She actually made a statement, she said I killed her energy for me and I made her never to want to go into any relationship again.

I was even trying to adopt a new lifestyle for us to spice up things before all this happened, but now...
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Shimmaa: 5:22pm On Jan 09, 2022
Mordecai:


Very childish.


You mean it's childish to try reconcile with someone you love by patching things up or what?


You guys just open mouth and want to talk when you ain't putting yourself in similar position.
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by haslaw(m): 5:30pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:



Nope,

This isn't my 1st breakup, and trust me, i know what's best for me.


She's actually best for me considering many things, all I just want from her is her love and affection.

She actually love me and I know that for a sure but it's just so difficult for her to show it and I've tried telling her how to show it in a little way but it's not changing anything.

Her mum even complained of samething, she can do 2 weeks without hearing her mum voice until her mum will call her and it's not like she doesn't have call card, I even recharge her many times since I know she doesn't work yet, but nothing changes from her.

Dem they tell this one to not enter fire he say na fire best for him
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by juniorstar(m): 5:30pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:
Good day Nairalanders.


I met this intelligent lady in my final year in school, she was a fresher then, we started off as friends, she gave in after I graduated while she was in 200l.

Our love was going fine but I observed she doesn't call much and hardly respond to messages on WhatsApp, many times, she will be online while my messages will be delayed before she responded, I've complained countless of time to show some real love and affection so I can know she truly loves me, but she's just that type of person that can do 1 or 2 days without talking to someone she loves. She actually loves me and I know that for a fact but she's not just showing it enough and I'm not feeling it enough.

I had the intention to sponsor her business ideal which was giving her 200k to start up her skin care products, but we had to change that plan when she was having issue with her uncle's wife, the lady was maltreating her and I wasn't comfortable with the way she was complaining of her treatment towards her, so I came up with a plan to use the money I'm supposed to give her for business to secure an apartment, my plan was, I will secure a mini flat where we can both be staying pending when she will finish school but I won't be staying around often since my job doesn't permit me.
We got the apartment after a month serach and furnished it beautifully to suit her, I thought all of this will make her change towards me and start showing so much care and affection since we both live together now, but it still doesn't change, many times, I face so many challenges in my work but she doesn't care to know what's going with my work or care to know how I'm fairing with work, so I got confused one day and thought is this lady playing me and just wasting my time, I messaged her to tell her I'm fed up of how she treats me and doesn't show so much care towards me, then told her we should breakup if she's finding it difficult to show that love she has for me, she asked if I was serious about the breakup but God knows it's just a mere threat in me and I just want her to plead for change but she took it up when I told her I meant it, now she has left the apartment I got for us and I'm here regretting why I threatened her with breakup.

The apartment I got for us is still there without any of us staying there, and I'm about relocating to another state but God knows I still want her back and make things right with her but I don't know how to win her back and she seems to have made up her mind never to come back, what advise do you have for me after this experience with her.
You are the needy one here...even though it actually is the case you shouldnt make it obvious for God sake she is far below you and you are taking such..i wonder how she will act in marriage..you wasted time anyway dont bother calling her let her be focus on your job and have an abundance mentality..cos with that these kind of things wont happen..
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Justkatty(f): 5:37pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:


Thanks for this,

She actually made a statement, she said I killed her energy for me and I made her never to want to go into any relationship again.

I was even trying to adopt a new lifestyle for us to spice up things before all this happened, but now...
You sound too emotional and sincerely I see you accepting bullet for her�
I understand every damn thing, have been into it before but mine was reverse, after putting 101 effort it still didn't work out�
But in all I still thank God because I was able to realize that my life wasn't tied to anyone and my happiness must be brought back...so I had to accept my fate and I moved on.
I just want to be sincere during the stage of me moving on, it wasn't easy everything happening at time was just useless to me and that was because I gave out my happiness to someone who doesn't deserve it BUT today, I never became a monster to anyone (guys) that doesn't mean I'll be that silly again to give out my happiness in exchange of sadness.
What I'm saying in essence is that, if you can still work it out, do it. Don't mind what your gender would say here, some of them here are puppet.
If trying to make it work and it seems you aren't seeing any positive result, I'll advise you move on.

1 Like

Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by idu1(m): 5:37pm On Jan 09, 2022
She might love you. There are people that doesn't show love. and i hope you are those kind of guy that disturb there partner with love in relationship. They call always. Like say na the only thing wey person dey think be that.
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by seanwilliam(m): 5:45pm On Jan 09, 2022
Actually to move on is hard most especially if you’Re the one with largest investment..

Best way is to get another get as quick as possible then slowly divert your love away from her to the new girl..







But to be honest , if you can’t control your emotions, you will always get hurt � and the earlier you realize that a woman can’t love unconditionally the better ..
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Mordecai(m): 6:13pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:



You mean it's childish to try reconcile with someone you love by patching things up or what?


You guys just open mouth and want to talk when you ain't putting yourself in similar position.

It's one thing to love.

It's another to be in a love relationship.

You are in love, but you're not in a love relationship. So there's nothing to patch up. If you can't see that, then you're either a slowpoke or childish.

I don't think you're a slowpoke. I think you're emotionally, still a child.

Well, since you were willing to rent a place for someone that has no feelings for you, it won't make a difference if you can get any other neat lady to take over the place, and keep it tidy for the rest of your tenancy period. Then use it whenever you're in town.

And do not tell your ex about it, or ask for permission or try to explain your actions. Just do it and move on.

Immediately she hears another lady is now living in the flat, she'll reach out to you. But this will be the true test of your maturity - don't explain yourself to her, and don't be bitter towards her either. She's only looking out for herself, just like you and I.

1 Like

Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Zico777(m): 6:30pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:
Good day Nairalanders.


I met this intelligent lady in my final year in school, she was a fresher then, we started off as friends, she gave in after I graduated while she was in 200l.

Our love was going fine but I observed she doesn't call much and hardly respond to messages on WhatsApp, many times, she will be online while my messages will be delayed before she responded, I've complained countless of time to show some real love and affection so I can know she truly loves me, but she's just that type of person that can do 1 or 2 days without talking to someone she loves. She actually loves me and I know that for a fact but she's not just showing it enough and I'm not feeling it enough.

I had the intention to sponsor her business ideal which was giving her 200k to start up her skin care products, but we had to change that plan when she was having issue with her uncle's wife, the lady was maltreating her and I wasn't comfortable with the way she was complaining of her treatment towards her, so I came up with a plan to use the money I'm supposed to give her for business to secure an apartment, my plan was, I will secure a mini flat where we can both be staying pending when she will finish school but I won't be staying around often since my job doesn't permit me.
We got the apartment after a month serach and furnished it beautifully to suit her, I thought all of this will make her change towards me and start showing so much care and affection since we both live together now, but it still doesn't change, many times, I face so many challenges in my work but she doesn't care to know what's going with my work or care to know how I'm fairing with work, so I got confused one day and thought is this lady playing me and just wasting my time, I messaged her to tell her I'm fed up of how she treats me and doesn't show so much care towards me, then told her we should breakup if she's finding it difficult to show that love she has for me, she asked if I was serious about the breakup but God knows it's just a mere threat in me and I just want her to plead for change but she took it up when I told her I meant it, now she has left the apartment I got for us and I'm here regretting why I threatened her with breakup.

The apartment I got for us is still there without any of us staying there, and I'm about relocating to another state but God knows I still want her back and make things right with her but I don't know how to win her back and she seems to have made up her mind never to come back, what advise do you have for me after this experience with her.
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Zegra: 6:30pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:
This is really depressing me cuz I have invested so much in our relationship and I was even thinking of sponsoring her masters in abroad.

My mental health is at stake and I may loose my mind eventually...

Sponsored her master in abroad? Are you kidding me?
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Double0h7(f): 7:41pm On Jan 09, 2022
This is not how a relationship is meant to be, you can't buy love, you can't bribe love, you can't guilt someone to love you. It's meant to be easy, pure, and effortless.

I really feel sorry for you cry

You're dating yourself by yourself but you don't know it yet... cry
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Nobody: 8:35pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:
This is really depressing me cuz I have invested so much in our relationship and I was even thinking of sponsoring her masters in abroad.

My mental health is at stake and I may loose my mind eventually...

You've invested so much but what has she invested to be with you or keep the relationship?

Sponsoring her masters is investing so much. You shouldn't do that for someone you're not sure of her true feelings or intentions

You may lose your mind over someone who wouldn't care if you do?
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Nobody: 8:38pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:


Her place can't be filled in my heart, I don't want to end up with someone else while I carry her love in my heart...

This is what you think will happen but it won't.
You shouldn't jump into another relationship immediately. Give yourself a huge amount of time to get over her before you start another relationship.

Same with me. I can't go into another relationship while i still love someone else.
I wouldn't love you the way you love me and i might not be completely true to you
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Nobody: 8:43pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:



I see happiness and good future in us...

Does she see that when asked about the relationship?

Bro, real love is mutual.
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Nobody: 8:50pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:



Nope,

This isn't my 1st breakup, and trust me, i know what's best for me.


She's actually best for me considering many things, all I just want from her is her love and affection.

She actually love me and I know that for a sure but it's just so difficult for her to show it and I've tried telling her how to show it in a little way but it's not changing anything.

Her mum even complained of samething, she can do 2 weeks without hearing her mum voice until her mum will call her and it's not like she doesn't have call card, I even recharge her many times since I know she doesn't work yet, but nothing changes from her.

This breakup you're talking about, did you invest so much and did you love so hard like this your current center of attention?

She's best for you but you're begging her to show you mutual affection?

I understand something now. You said she does this with her mother but she still doesn't change but why don't you leave her like that?
Since you know she loves you and wants the relationship and won't leave, that should give you some level of peace of mind nawww
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Angelacruz: 8:54pm On Jan 09, 2022
She got someone else n beside she does not luv u.
Shimmaa:
This is really depressing me cuz I have invested so much in our relationship and I was even thinking of sponsoring her masters in abroad.

My mental health is at stake and I may loose my mind eventually...
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Nobody: 8:56pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:


Thanks for this,

She actually made a statement, she said I killed her energy for me and I made her never to want to go into any relationship again.

I was even trying to adopt a new lifestyle for us to spice up things before all this happened, but now...

Changing your lifestyle for someone who wouldn't change 50%(show some affection) for you isn't worth it
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by 2goodbobo(m): 9:02pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:
This is really depressing me cuz I have invested so much in our relationship and I was even thinking of sponsoring her masters in abroad.

My mental health is at stake and I may loose my mind eventually...

What a joke you are. You want to send Somebody that doesn't love you abroad to study? So local heartbreak she is giving you is not enough is international Heart break you want abi. Guy free that girl and be a Man you won't die. You will be okay eventually. Pls let Her go
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by zed7: 10:09pm On Jan 09, 2022
Shimmaa:
This is really depressing me cuz I have invested so much in our relationship and I was even thinking of sponsoring her masters in abroad.

My mental health is at stake and I may loose my mind eventually...
See someone who wants to sponsor a woman abroad. A guy that hasn't gone for service and can't sponsor himself. Stupid folks everywhere.

Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Bizma2474(m): 10:18pm On Jan 09, 2022
The problem we have here in nairaland is you will bring topic for you to find solution but the comment you will see will add to your problem.
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Shimmaa: 11:29pm On Jan 09, 2022
zed7:

See someone who wants to sponsor a woman abroad. A guy that hasn't gone for service and can't sponsor himself. Stupid folks everywhere.


You are a fool.

I don't have any explanation for you.

The sensible ones have contributed tangible opinion, this post is too sensitive for someone like you...
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by zed7: 7:28am On Jan 10, 2022
Shimmaa:



You are a fool.

I don't have any explanation for you.

The sensible ones have contributed tangible opinion, this post is too sensitive for someone like you...

You are not only, foolish, you are also a poor and wretched fellow. See as a small girl is using you like a rag. Get some honour and drink poison. Your likes are not fit to live.

You don't know that you are not loved? Who will love a deluded fellow? You want to sponsor a girl abroad while you can barely feed. No wonder she abandoned the face me I slap you shack you're bragging with.

1 Like

Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by Nobody: 7:35am On Jan 10, 2022
Shimmaa:



Nope,

This isn't my 1st breakup, and trust me, i know what's best for me.


She's actually best for me considering many things, all I just want from her is her love and affection.

She actually love me and I know that for a sure but it's just so difficult for her to show it and I've tried telling her how to show it in a little way but it's not changing anything.

Her mum even complained of samething, she can do 2 weeks without hearing her mum voice until her mum will call her and it's not like she doesn't have call card, I even recharge her many times since I know she doesn't work yet, but nothing changes from her.
You're irredeemable.
You gon' learn, the hard way.
Simp
Re: What Will You Do If You Were In This Kind Of Relationship? by fashionale(m): 7:46am On Jan 10, 2022
This man had been dating himself since 1906 without knowing it.... Nwata nwanyi Alaa... She can't come back, her mind is not in you. Stop waiting for her. Look for another lady who will love you with all her heart, the earlier you find another lady, the better for you

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