Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

What is your address and location? I need to come and advice you both so that it will not happen again. That lady needs to be rescue from a lion who eats what is not given to him. She needs justice of abuse and assault.

Foodqueen:

Nb- your wife has seen this post.

How do you know? Is she in this thread?

After u finished thinking with ur balls abi ?

Odiegwu

safarigirl:


First victim of what?

If you ask me for my biro and I refuse to give you, does that make you a victim? Does that give you the right to slap me and collect the biro?

There is no part of the world you will go to that refusal for sex is a crime, none. But there are many parts of the world that spousal rape is a crime.

You do not have to debase yourself to animalistic ways because something is not going your way. If resorting to violence is the only way you think someone can get something, then there is something severely wrong with your upbringing

How can you equate demanding sex from your wife to someone asking biro from you, they are not to be in the same instance madam. They are not to deny each other sex except they are in mutual understanding of such. Where there is no understanding, abuse is inevitable. They both did wrong in the end, but denying your husband sex in marriage is a breach of union and contract legally binding them, and abusing your wife on the ground of sex denial cannot be excused either. Understanding one's partner is very important, not everyone likes sex as a daily routine, and when you notice something off in your partner, it is important both parties find a way to resolve it before it leads to another problem. The woman ought to have opened up to her husband what bothers her, and the man should have made the move to know what warranted those changes but still, one should never deny the other sex when all things are fine except there is an agreement between them base on understanding.

I see no reason why I would be legally married to a woman and she denies me sex without any convenient reason.

Don't you feel you should conduct a DNA on your daughter ?

Then after certifying that she's your biological daughter, leave make she continue dey do things that pleases her - you just dey watch; no report the matter give anybody; raping her has already demean your reputation; you reporting the matter to a third party to come settle for you guys would bring down your self esteem the more...

After confirmation that she's your biological daughter, find one bani for outside wey you go dey kpef on a low; anytime, anyday wey you like, dey come house come see your daughter and provide for their needs. Also, when you sleep for house, do so with your eyes open or the door locked; to avoid stories wey touch soul... you don already try enough by apologizing, she still no wan geh sense, buh with time, nobody go tell her when she go go outside go carry third party come settle matter for Una. I swear to God.

Modified: lemme tell you a lil story, my girl denied me the oza room last December when she came visiting. She be dey think sey I go beg buh my mama no born me well, if I do. I just jejely say okay then turn, unplugged my phone from socket, enter bedroom, logged on to xvideos and I was entertaining myself.. I guess she was curious what I was up to after some minute she didn't see me return back to join her in the movie she was seeing at the living room, naso madam trace me come bedroom and met me jerking myself with full pleasure. She laughed saying no wonder I no beg, then she apologized and promised she go give me full action for midnight, I only answered no problem sey I no vex and she perked me and went back to her movie.

For midnight, naso I see the person snuck up to me, dey use one hand caress me for body and the other on my thing. I just yinmu; whispering "look this one, me wey I don satisfy myself well well, no matter wetin you do tonight, no action for you aunty" all under my breathe.

She do do do do do... She caress tire... She tickle tire.... Na so she vex dey begin dey hala for me sey shey na because of wetin she do me last night ( I just pretend sey I'm still deep sleeping - laff wan catch me, buh I mellow ham)...

She try her luck again maybe she go succeed again - for where ? I finally said bo action tonight madam, I'm tired... Goan sleep.... She vex turn, then use pillow do wall between us (mtchew... like I care)

Since that time, if my body dey do somehow and I snuck up to her - she go leave anything wey she dey do and we go do something sharp sharp ( afterall, na only first round man dey enjoy ham, the remaining rounds are meant to please a woman)

My moral of the story is when you habor an impression that your woman is getting it better somewhere whenever she denies you s,ex, you begin to feel insecure... Then the insecurities will make you to start misbehaving, thereby limiting your self esteem as the head. Buh when you start believing women are capable of getting it anywhere buh it doesn't move you a bit, you're alive....

That's all for now

Àlàáfíà....

InTheCloudySky:
You didn't bother asking her/finding out what was going on with her or in your marriage (you obviously had pre-existing issues that may have caused her to withdraw from you) to have refused you, but you resorted to violence.

As if slapping her wasn't bad enough, slapping her to the extent of her bleeding in the mouth meant you did it with a lot of force, not to mention the force you obviously used to rape her. The act of rape in itself is an act of violence. Sorry (not sorry): you're a beast. After being violent towards her x2, what do you expect?

Get on your knees, plead with her and ask for her forgiveness, then let her know you won't ever repeat such violent actions towards her again. Secondly, you're selfish if you're expecting her to cook for you after what you've done. You should be the one cooking for her during this time ―to appease her. Things should fall back into place if you start doing that and catering more to her, then you two can go see a sound marriage Therapist to work out your issues. Otherwise keep eating the indomie you've been eating.

See how you exonerated the wife's misconduct that triggered the whole saga. Didn't you read that she starves him of sex habitually?
Any woman that hopes to be happy in marriage should learn the art of submission. It is even in the Bible if you have one. Give your husband sex, issue; get a side chick, bigger issue.
Women, wetin u a want sef?

Luckysbab:


Honestly. Such silly being

Product of rape

cococandy:


Why she denied him sex is a separate conversation.
The focus here is that he’s a rapist.

Did he rape all his girlfriends who refused to sleep with him before marriage? I mean since y’all are so enraged by the fact that a man went a month without sex. I’m assuming you think it’s biologically impossible for him to abstain and try to get to the root of the problem in his marriage.

I’m not enraged.... I don’t care how long he stayed without sex..every home has their modus operandi....some couple have sex once a month and it’s not an issue.. some are used to 3 times a week...

But the fact is, u can’t address his wrong behaviour without addressing the causE...That’s how it works in court....
Is that not why we have manslaughter/crime of passion, and fist degree murder....??

I understand your pain bro...
It's not right for her to hoard sex
Give her time and talk things through with her

GoodHardDick:
Your wife is trying to control and manipulate you, that's how woman are. She's trying to control you using sex. . You're the husband and it makes no sense as to why she would just refused giving u sex for no reason at all

Don't be a SIMP. Man up and take charge of your home

Op take this pill

socialmediaman:


You have to give her time and support. Taking responsibility means accepting that she needs time to heal from the trauma you caused. You hurt your wife and you want her to bounce back to normal immediately so that you can have a good meal? It sounds selfish and insensitive. It seems spousal rape isn’t captured in Nigeria’s penal code, if that’s the case, I suggest you do your time showing remorse and making reparations

Edit: as Amarisco suggested, You need professional help to manage your anger problems. Your wife also needs therapy to heal from the trauma.

It is captured please.
Before now it was believed that a man can not rape his wife. But that's not the case now. Rape your wife and watch her take serious legal action against you.

The wives can take legal action against their husbands, if the husbands touche her sexually and she considers the touch inappropriate.

Check very well op, do your findings, your wife is sleeping with someone else. They way I'm seeing it, the dude determines when your wife should have sex with you. Take charge now, but I'm afraid it's too late.

Tallesty1:
I am going to be an ass on this thread and I don't care.

I hate to hear people telling a man to work on his anger issues when the simplest solution is telling the wife to work on her pissing him off attitude.

A man who has been a good husband and father going for weeks and sometimes months without sex with his wife and you don't think his anger is justified? No, he doesn't need a professional help on his anger, the wife should stop denying him sex. It's that simple.

What the op did is wrong and he deserves several punches on his face but let us also address what triggered his action.

Why in fvck's sake would he have to beg for sex from his wife? Something that teenagers are getting anyhow and everywhere. Do you women even know how frustrating that is?

If he wronged his wife knowingly or unknowingly, do you think weaponizing sex is the best approach? What happens to communication?

@OP, what you did is very very wrong, first violent and then rape. Two solid grounds for divorce and imprisonment in one night.... What were you thinking? Thank you stars that she's not suing.

She's still shocked and will be traumatized for a while so stop forcing her to get over it quickly because as it is now, you irritate her.

Let her be, but keep doing what you do. Treat her right, shower her with love and all. These are annoying to her right now but it will count for something when she starts to consider you, if she starts to consider you.

I think I understand where you’re coming from… but when the deed is done, I don’t think it’s ok to blame the victim. It’s like when murder is committed, do you focus your attention on the victim? Focusing on her means encouraging others who are possibly going through the same thing.

If he had come online saying she was denying him sex, people would’ve advised him to divorce or send her back to her parents and find other ways to satisfy himself as he pleased, but no, he decided to do the unthinkable. You know he’s lucky that he doesn’t live abroad, because he would possibly been in jail from this

socialmediaman:


But you get fired or penalized for missing work, not beaten and physically forced. You see the difference? He had other choices; divorce her, separate from her, send her back to her parents. He chose the heinous.

The only wrong thing he did was hitting her...apart from that , he did no wrong... there is nothing like rape in marriage

She’s not the cause of his behavior
He raped her because he’s a rapist.

End of discussion

advanceDNA:


I’m not enraged.... I don’t care how long he stayed without sex..every home has their modus operandi....some couple have sex once a month and it’s not an issue.. some are used to 3 times a week...

But the fact is, u can’t address his wrong behaviour without addressing the causE...That’s how it works in court....
Is that not why we have manslaughter/crime of passion, and fist degree murder....??

cococandy:
I don’t know who managed to convince you that you have no right over your own body. But that’s not true.
You’re an autonomous human before you are anyone’s wife.

We can talk about how married people need to resolve their sexual differences and incompatibilities all day long. But before what conversation, we need to establish one fact which is that the woman is a human being with rights to her own body.

Your comment is an example of why I do what I do on NL. They keep regurgitating their misogynistic BS day in day out and young girls like you unwittingly imbibe such harmful messages without realizing what a disservice it is doing.

You’re a person and you have rights over yourself. You’re not property

I never said a woman has no right over he r body. I only said the husband has right over her body which is one of the things couples are made to understand when planning to come together as man wife and they all agree to these rules at the initial stage during counseling and at the altar. Only to start breaking the vows,/agreement the moment they gain ground in their husbands house.

Again that is a sacrifice you make for agreeing to be with another entity. You give it your all, which could sometimes be against your wish. That's what marriage is all about. Forget this "woke" mentality some of you suddenly start coming up with after "having your cake" and Stick to the vows you both made and agreed to at the counselors office/ altar.

Any body who is not ready to take nonsense should not bother getting married because therein lies a lot of nonsensical characters and behaviors.

Nuf said!

Helper1991:
What is your address and location? I need to come and advice you both so that it will not happen again. That lady needs to be rescue from a lion who eats what is not given to him. She needs justice of abuse and assault.

Stop displaying ur simping way...men are talking, not boys

Konji na bastard... anyway maybe she's getting it from someone

Kingcalls:


The only wrong thing he did was hitting her...apart from that , he did no wrong... there is nothing like rape in marriage

In Nigeria you mean? Because it’s a crime in many countries of the world

foleskay:

Women aren't useless.they serve a purpose in marriage which is to procreate and provide sexual services for their husbands. So a woman who is not ready to provide all these shouldnt have any business getting married. You can't eat ur cake and have it at the same time.
Try that shiit wit ur husband if wouldnt rape d hell ouuta you. Hippocrite. Act what u preach don't come here and be acting one feminist

Word.. practice what you preach and preach what you practice.

Some will give their husband sex early morning, take lunch to his office and still give him quickie, then when he returns home at night, they still open for him but come to public space to justify other married women denying their husbands sex for months in the name of yeye "feminism" or whatnot.

Noah9:

I have apologized. I even bought a little gift along side but I saw them inside the trash nylon bag when I came back from work.

I haven't eaten good meal for some days now. Just meat-pie and juice or indomie.

I don't know what to do. I'm truly sorry about my actions.

Even in the hades your wife will not forgive you. You should have left her to be na.

Kaiiiiii you have given her more reasons and grounds to hold you to ransom.

You should have taken time to find out from her why she no longer enjoy sex with you through a heart to heart discussion. It could be that you annoyed her but she didn't open up to you about that thing you did which detest her.

If the man has more rights over her body than she does, then it means she has no right over her body. No? You’re contradicting yourself

There’s nothing “woke” about owning your own body: it’s basic humanity 101.

And marriage isn’t about being “ready to take nonsense”. My goodness!


Please don’t have sex against your wish. Sex should be pleasurable to you whenever you engage in it otherwise it’s meaningless

Mercychen:


I never said a woman has no right over he r body. I only said the husband has right over her body

which is one of the things couples are made to understand when planning to come together as man wife and they all agree to these rules at the initial stage during counseling and at the altar. Only to start breaking the vows,/agreement the moment they gain ground in their husbands house.

Again that is a sacrifice you make for agreeing to be with another entity. You give it your all, which could sometimes be against your wish. That's what marriage is all about. Forget this "woke" mentality some of you suddenly start coming up with after "having your cake" and Stick to the vows you both made and agreed to at the counselors office/ altar.

Any body who is not ready to take nonsense should not bother getting married because therein lies a lot of nonsensical characters and behaviors.

Nuf said!

Orkpekyandega:


It is captured please.
Before now it was believed that a man can not rape his wife. But that's not the case now. Rape your wife and watch her take serious legal action against you.

The wives can take legal action against their husbands, if the husbands touche her sexually and she considers the touch inappropriate.

Its a very stupid law created by simps and feminists...how can u prove that a husband and lives in the same house with his wife for eternity raped her ...tell me how u can prove that in court

As long as she’s enjoying it and not being forced to do it. Get it?

flokii:


Word.. practice what you preach and preach what you practice.

Some will give their husband sex early morning, take lunch to his office and still give him quickie, then when he returns home at night, they still open for him but come to public space to justify other married women denying their husbands sex for months in the name of yeye "feminism" or whatnot.

In the first place what are reasons for decline you sex where else did she want you to get it from then secondly as for the rape you did wrong you could have talk to her tell her the reason why you want have good time with her then tell to tell you when she will be fit for that.the reason why is decline you sex meant be as a results stress from her place of work and maybe she already got exuss from her place of work is matter you both could have settle amaicably

Mercychen:


I never said a woman has no right over he r body. I only said the husband has right over her body which is one of the things couples are made to understand when planning to come together as man wife and they all agree to these rules at the initial stage during counseling and at the altar. Only to start breaking the vows,/agreement the moment they gain ground in their husbands house.

Again that is a sacrifice you make for agreeing to be with another entity. You give it your all, which could sometimes be against your wish. That's what marriage is all about. Forget this "woke" mentality some of you suddenly start coming up with after "having your cake" and Stick to the vows you both made and agreed to at the counselors office/ altar.

Any body who is not ready to take nonsense should not bother getting married because therein lies a lot of nonsensical characters and behaviors.

Nuf said!

Do u think the person u quoted ever attended marriage counselling b4 getting married( that's if she is married) I'm sure she just got knocked up and they did traditional marriage...she knows nothing about marital rules

This is scary... I'm a very proud person and will never beg for sex...
Now you can't blame married men lusting for girls... Adultery is better than Raping your wife. Next time Use your head... Or end the marriage. Get peace of mind.

Christinaog:

Men are scum

iIf men are scum, some women including you are pigs because not all women are stupid like you. Back to the main topic what the man did was wrong the same stupid spouse will be crying shouting cheating if her husband should sleep with another lady outside. How can she denied her husband conjugal right. The only reason for such is when she is down with sickness.

cococandy:
She’s not the cause of his behavior
He raped her because he’s a rapist.

End of discussion

Have you ever been married??don't be a evening news paper and advice another person...when she signed up for the marriage ...didn't she know that know that you can't skip Any of the terms and condition...hitting her was bad but the forceful sex is a norm...I can't be training a dog that will be barking at me

cococandy:
As long as she’s enjoying it and not being forced to do it. Get it?

Or rather.. as long as she is enjoying his money and staying under his roof as his legally married wife.

There is no reason to justify woman denying her husband sex for a month just like a man has no reason to deny his wife sex. It's a recipe for bitterness, broken marriages, cheating etc. and should not be encouraged in any way.

InTheCloudySky:
You didn't bother asking her/finding out what was going on with her or in your marriage (you obviously had pre-existing issues that may have caused her to withdraw from you) to have refused you, but you resorted to violence.

As if slapping her wasn't bad enough, slapping her to the extent of her bleeding in the mouth meant you did it with a lot of force, not to mention the force you obviously used to rape her. The act of rape in itself is an act of violence. Sorry (not sorry): you're a

beast. After being violent towards her x2, what do you expect?

Get on your knees, plead with her and ask for her forgiveness, then let her know you won't ever repeat such violent actions towards her again. Secondly, you're selfish if you're expecting her to cook for you after what you've done. You should be the one cooking for her during this time ―to appease her. Things should fall back into place if you start doing that and catering more to her, then you two can go see a sound marriage Therapist to work out your issues. Otherwise keep eating the indomie you've been eating.

You be Bush

foleskay:

Stop being emotional about this matter. Which sane married woman would deny her husband sex for months without any cogent reason.sex is part of marriage obligation..and having sign a marriage certificate by her means she must abuse by d rules and obligation of marriage in which sex is d major part of it. So she can't eat her cake and have it back..she has not business getting married if she can't open her leg wide for her husband to dig in when he so wishes. Cos he has paid for it through dowry

What is being emotional when it is a fact that no one owes you sex and it is not a crime to deny someone of it?

Sex is part of marriage obligation that must be done with consent.She is not her property that she doesn't have rights to choose it is called liberty and free will learn to be exposed because you paid bride price which is different from dowry doesn't give you the right to sleep with someone with their permission, they are human beings not chattels.She has a business getting married because it was her choice and she also has another choice to choose when she wants to have sex.