ibechris:
Both of are u wrong and you messed up the whole situation but in fact,u didn't marry a good wife but a pretender if I may say.

Submissiveness is the hall mark of a descent woman.

There is simply no submissiveness in that woman. How do u justify her hoarding sex in marriage, in a weddedhome?. Her action could have made u to commit adultery which is still possible if the situation doesn't change.

Both of you need to talk extensively and if it worths involving her family,u had better do it fast before it goes out of hand.

Wishing u the best as u put situation under control.

Don't be quick to conclude he didn't marry a good woman, or that he married a pretender. A whole lot happens in marriage you won't easily understand.
For many women, libido drops as soon as childbearing and child rearing sets in(Coupled with work stress)
Hormones start doing "shegeshege" (up and down).

For some of them it is a bit of laziness though, plus the lack of realization of the fact that sex is a duty they have to ensure they try to perform, just as they tend to the kids in the home.
The man on the other hand is never on break. He wants what he wants. He might
be understanding and patient, but his body will still demand release from him. All these coupled with the fact that this generation abhores polygamy, the game is bound to be a messy one filled with these kinds of troubles.

To be Candid and factual, 8 out of every 10 marriages out there are having sex related issues of varying types. Summary is there is zero to low action in the other room.

I am 8years in marriage now . I went through this same trouble. Without exaggerating, I Believe mine was much worse than OP's. Since I can vividly recollect the sex that led to my kids. As in I know the day, the spot we had it, the time we had it etc (it was that infrequent.)
It was once in 5-6 months on the average. And my wife is drop dead beautiful. (Believe me)

Things only got better recently after I almost made real my plan to marry another woman. Since I am totally against jumping from woman to woman. And whoever would be my sex mate must be my wife.
Only then was when the brain reset happened. And she miraculously changed.

Well, kudos to the monogamy advocates. Embrace all the divorce and troubles that comes with it.

clydecarson:


Bros I just hope your wife doesn’t charge you to court for doing this,I watched a Nigerian movie just yesterday the wife planned on taking her husband to court because he raped her and she bore him kids out of the rape…yes we can’t use movies in real life but the crime you committed could land you in jail for years

are you normal?
Which jail?

Ikem11:


Delete that your mentality cos your eyes will open when you in jail.

For every stupid rape apologist on this thread

Nonsense if na me.by now the side Chics list would have been be so long that even the wife will have to fight to make the roaster.

Hmm ... You are both poor communicators. She won't say what's wrong and you sef did not care to find the root of her issue - why she wasn't in the mood.

Till you can find a way to talk and communicate, this hole will only keep growing. I don't know how you'll get her to talk, but you should tell her you know you behaved abominably, but you want to salvage what you can of the marriage, except if she's tired of it. (Be open to the possibility that she wants a separation)

She should talk about her issues in the relationship so that you can both work at making it better.

What a xtupid post

Kingcalls:


A man can't rape his wife...stop forming woke... a wife has no right to deny her husband sex...its a big sin if u don't know it... denying ur spouse sex can lead to adultery which is among the commandments of God....again the a spouse can ask for divorce and win the case if the partner is not performing his or or matrimonial duty ... it like give u money to keep for me, I later ask u for the money and u refuse to give me , I then search ur bag ,see money in ur back and forcefully take it and u go about telling people that I stole ur money... u women should start being logical for once and stop throwing emotions

OP YOU DIDNT DO WELL,SINCE U HAVE ASKED FOR FORGIVENESS JUST GIVE HER SOME TIME SHE WILL TALK TO YOU......

One of the disadvantages of monogamy. Marry a second wife to solve the problem.

Ikem11:


Honestly I hate people like you who think foolishly. What do you own? You own her body? because you married her so she doesn't have her free will anymore?

Even God that created men couldn't even take free will away from us and here you are talking like an idiot.

Delete that your mentality cos your eyes will open when you in jail.

Op is very lucky the kind woman he married and the shithole of a country he is in. That's only thing saving him right now

You're the idiot here because you failed you realise that this is Africa.
Calling people expressing their opinion all sort of in printable names.
If you can marry, better stay single .

Ladyhippolyta88:


I was looking forward to your comment, glad you commented here I also puked too, why on earth is the wife still with him?

Well one can obviously see how many rapists we have on nairaland. Disgusting

This is so unfortunate. Was sex like that with you prior to marriage or she recently started avoiding sex with you?
She may have a tangible reason for recently avoiding sex with you, For instance, she may be treating a non-STD related infection like yeast or toilet infection and she was too naive or shy to discuss it with you.
You needed to be a bit more patient with her since you described her as the naive type.

The ONLY reasons you should get angry at your wife for denying you sex, BUT NEVER BE VIOLENT WITH HER are:
1. for spiritual reasons that she did not get your buy in first
2. for monetary reward like a common wh*re
3. for revenge purposes

You need to really beg her and convince her that it will NEVER happen again. Also let her know that sex is very important to you in marriage and carry her along at her pace. Let her know you will need her to match your voracious sexual appetite with time. But still be patient with her. Good women are not easy to find out there o.... at least you descibed her as a good woman.
If your marriage is restored, good for you. If not, just prepare for a divorce. There is no reason why anybody should wallow unhappily in a marriage.

Noah9:
Good morning nairalanders. Pls I'll go straight to point.

My wife and I have been married for 3 years, God has blessed our matrimony with a beautiful daughter. My wife is so decent, caring and beautiful inside out. I have been a great husband and father to my pretty daughter. I have never cheated on my wife since we got married.

Recently, she barely give me sex. Infact it would take a whole month before I could see Just the color of her undies and I wasn't happy about it.

Last week Wednesday, I committed an unspeakable abuse, I'm so ashamed of myself. I Raped my wife and I hate myself since that incident.

Honestly, I don't know what came over me that particular day, I tried to make advances towards her, she refused and she pushed my hand away. Out of anger I slapped her on her face (she bled from her mouth), I overpowered her and forcefully had my way through. She cried all through that night.

I regretted my actions, I feel remorse, I hate my Life . I have begged her seriously to forgive me but she haven't said a word to me for over 5 days now. She cook for just herself and my daughter, she no longer sleep in our matrimonial bed, she would rather sleep in my daughter's room or the visitor's room, she no longer greets me anymore.

I have never abused, beat or raised my hands on my wife or any woman before. Last week was my first time I did such an abominable act in my Life . What If any one notice we're having issues now, how will I explain to them what actually happened?

I don't even want my little daughter to know we're having issues. I don't know who to talk to. It's a faceless forum that's why I'm sharing my pain here . Pls how do I restore back happiness in my home, I need my wife to forgive me. I'm truly sorry from the depth of my heart and I promise it will never happen again.

Please Help Me.

cococandy:

Well one can obviously see how many rapists we have on nairaland. Disgusting

And shameful, a lot of women in Nigeria are in danger

Saying no to sex isn’t torture to a man

Do y’all have anything else going on for you except sex?

jaxxy:


Everybody talking down on the man like he is a potential psychopath without calling out the stupid wife.

How dare a woman treat her loving and caring husband the way this woman treated him? Month after months this man was subject to sexual deprivation and Torture by a selfish and uncaring wife and at some point he lost it.

It wasn’t the 1st she rejected him he did this it was over a long period of toture and frustration with no explanation in sight.

Should he have done this No! He should have looked for a better way to address the wrong behavior of his erring wife.

Kingcalls:


A man can't rape his wife...stop forming woke... a wife has no right to deny her husband sex...its a big sin if u don't know it... denying ur spouse sex can lead to adultery which is among the commandments of God....again the a spouse can ask for divorce and win the case if the partner is not performing his or or matrimonial duty ... it like give u money to keep for me, I later ask u for the money and u refuse to give me , I then search ur bag ,see money in ur back and forcefully take it and u go about telling people that I stole ur money... u women should start being logical for once and stop throwing emotions

Mr gettat!!!!

cococandy:
Your wife needs to divorce you. Unfortunately she’s not here to read the advice. It would be thoroughly disgusting being married to a rapist. Excuse me while I puke

Shut up you hypocrite. If the woman had not been horading sex like gold,would the man had raped her?? She brought out the monster in d man... So his actions are justifiable. Its his legal right and forcefully taking his right his debatable under d law.

He’s a rapist not a victim

ayindejimmy:


.


Not when we both own the biro.

This is marriage not dating. Two has become one.
Refusal of sex by any of the partners is negligence of conjugal duty.
Some men when they're sex starved they portray develop animalistic instincts. Me, I just leave you and move to plan B.

I'm not defending the man's violent reaction but don't come here and say the wife is not wrong. She boxed the husband into a tight corner and he reacted differently.
They're both victims

AS FOR WIVES OPEN UP TO YOUR HUSBAND WHY YOU ARE DENYING HIM SEX,YOU CANT JUST FOR NO REASON DENY HIM SEX WHAT DO YOU WANT HIM TO BE THINKING IT ISNT FAIR AT ALL...IF YOU ARE PASSING THROUGH ISSUES LET HIM KNOW SO BOTH OF YOU CAN FIND SOLUTION KEEPING MUTE WILL SURELY CAUSE PROBLEM......IF YOUR HUSBAND DENIES U SOMETHINGS AS A WIFE YOU WONT BE HAPPY ABOUT IT....ITS ALL ABOUT MUTUAL UNDERSTAND,AND COMMUNICATION POUR OUT YOUR MIND SO YOU GUYS CAN KNOW D RIGHT DIRECTION TO TAKE.......NOBODY IS A SPIRITUALIST TO KNOW WHAT HIS OR HER PARTNER IS GOING THROUGH SO TRY TO BE OPEN SO AS TO AVOID PROBLEMS.

And that’s fine. She’s allowed to not be in the mood.
That shouldn’t turn him into a rapist if he wasn’t one to begin with

advanceDNA:


It’s not a new thing,

Women deny men sex for no reason.. they will just say “I’m not in the mood”

If she is not giving you sex what is she still doing in y0ur house common sense nor tell u say another tramadol guy they piill her kpekus..stupid man send her packing instead of rape..u may die young. Remember to take ur daughter idiot forget about decent..your wife is not decent

FBIBOT:
Now I have to do alot to erase that scene from her mind.... The love she had for you don reduce to 50%

50% bawo , y deceiving d op, it has drastically reduced to 1%.i just can't imagine my husband doing such to me, there are several ways of luring a woman to bed, but this one that she's not talking u definitely don't know her Mind nd where to come in. One whole month without sex for a man is hell, she will come around with time just keep begging

ibechris:



U think being a husband is all about making money and keeping the family together.

See Mr man, face your front if u have nothing meaningful to contribute.

I cannot be arguing with a boy that depends on his mum for 100 Naira recharge card to come on NL to spew nonsense. A woman can do 100 percent of what a man can do,a man can never do 50 percent of what a woman does. Go and sleep omode

foleskay:

Shut up you hypocrite. If the woman had not been horading sex like gold,would the man had raped her?? She brought out the monster in d man... So his actions are justifiable. Its his legal right and forcefully taking his right his debatable under d law.

There’s no law in which she owes him sex.
Some of you are really rabid about this issue

I thought women are useless? Small vaginaa deprivation and y’all are here frothing at the mouth like wild animals. Lmao

foleskay:

Shut up you hypocrite. If the woman had not been horading sex like gold,would the man had raped her?? She brought out the monster in d man... So his actions are justifiable. Its his legal right and forcefully taking his right his debatable under d law.

There is no where it is stated that withdrawing from sex is illegal.However rape is a crime and what constitutes rape is lack of consent.
His actions are shameful and unjustifiable, it is not his legal right, his wife has free will you don't force anybody to have sex with you.
The OP assaulted his wife and used forced on her he is nothing but a rapist, noah9 you are a rapist and shame on you you have used 5 minutes of pleasure to destroy your marriage I pray she doesn't forgive you for this hurt you have caused her

There’s no telling how many women these ones on here have raped. It’s a shame

Ladyhippolyta88:


And shameful, a lot of women in Nigeria are in danger

Mr Man, sorry o but you're being rided by that woman and she's not a good wife.

On no condition should she deny you sex except she's sick.

Her body is all yours and you have the right to have her anytime you feel like. She has no right to keep her body from your for so long.

Fine, you assaulted her ( which was a fault of hers) and you've apologized. She should forget and move on. Couples quarrel and yours won't be the first. So whybis she making a mountain out of a molehill?

It's either she's seeing someone else or tired of the marriage. I mean, why would she starve you of your conjugal rights for so long in the first place and still go on to deny you of it when you asked for it?

You better shine your eyes. I have a feeling shes getting it from someone else and now you look repulsive to see her.

princeemmma:
Firstly my guy, you are not a real man for raping you wife. I am on your shoe, my wife denied me for a 2 solid month, i just hold unto myself. You should not see s*x as something really too important, see it as something just a bit necessary.

Secondly, you might have opened door for hatred in the heart of your wife, so you need to find a way to plead to her and beg her, because it might open door for something unusual too....


Goodluck my guy

Bros well-done, I have heard of cases like this but I have not had the opportunity to speak to any of them.
Please can you elaborate on the incident i.e what caused, how you felt,temptations,what you did to resolve the matter and how things are now.
If you don't mind

cococandy:


There’s no law in which she owes him sex.
Some of you are really rabid about this issue

I thought women are useless? Small vaginaa deprivation and y’all are here frothing at the mouth like wild animals. Lmao

It is comments like his and many others on naira land that makes me worry for women in Nigeria.

I will reiterate again there is no where it is a crime to refuse sex it is your body and choice to decide, what is a crime is to force someone to have sex with you without consent.

freshkpomo:


You just fell into the trap, you just gave your wife something to hold on to.. I don't know why women are this heartless, almost all marriages are having this issue, and before marriage you need to see how these same women will give you all the best position in the world but once them reach house them go put key for tow tow.... It will make you wonder if you are the only one in love,or you are over demanding or you are not giving them good sex or there is another man in their life.. all these plenty thought fit make man loose sanity and for a man who does not want to cheat, loosing his mind might turn him into a monster and do the unthinkable.

Women stop deceiving men because you want to wear wedding gown like your friends because it seems you are after the gown and not the marriage because that gown looks like an achievement to you, if you see a man's labido is too high for you during courtship, kindly quit and tell him your reasons.. Things like this should never be issue for marriage, how woman go stay for a week or more and her husband body nor attracted her, yet she dey shake yansh round house expecting the man to look the other way, is that not witchcraft...

OP, I am not in support of what you did, but if your wife continue with her no sex attitude.. Just leave the house for her, shey she can cook and eat alone... At least if you nor dey see her, you nor go dey turn on.... She destroyed her marriage herself not you... If you get money, lodge hotel, chop better food, if na wine take calm am down.. after all life is more than SEX...

Noah9. Though im not married and you would have better understanding with marriage and all even though you're the one needing advice. Please follow this guy's advice. Women can play victim a lot and you need to show them that you sef get werey for head even if it's your wife. Still beg her again for the last time and be sincere about it, if she no gree abeg, just dey commot and come back only on weekends. If possible stay out two weeks without coming back, then let's see who will look for her husband. When you come, only show attention to your daughter and ignore your wife since she wants to be ignored.


You made a very decision by raping her but if she has yielded into your advances or communicated why she can't have sex with you then you should not hate yourself too much.

cococandy:
Saying no to sex isn’t torture to a man

Do y’all have anything else going on for you except sex?

And who told u that?? Even for women who want sex from their husbands and don’t get it cos the husbands go out with other ladies it is torture and they always say so in court when dissolving their marriage.

It is torture to who ever wants it either man or woman. U didn’t marry to deprive ur partners sex. It is completely wrong. Leave the marriage instead or explain ur reasons to them.

Don’t delude urself. The woman is stupid.

Noah9.

You need a side chick or another wife. Ideally (if you are a Christian) it is impossible to rape your wife or husband because your spouse’s body BELONGS TO YOU. You must satisfy your spouse.

Her weaponising sex by depriving you for as long as month is totally wicked and manipulative.

Also, Beating and overpowering her just to have your way is wicked and hurtful. Yes, you have committed a crime in today’s Nigeria. You could go to jail for rape if she reports you.

The solution is to remain celibate as a good Christian until she is agreeable. Or as a bad Christian, you would need another wife or a side chick or even two side chicks.

Never give in to the manipulations of women who use sex to punish/condition their husbands. Satisfy yourself elsewhere or remain celibate; whichever works for you. Regardless of your crime, your wife is still a manipulative woman. Beware. If you were abroad, she would have sent you to jail long before now.

Reference to the domestication of the law that recognises spousal rape: https://www.nairaland.com/6915574/husband-touching-wife-inappropriately-rape

Christinaog:

Men are scum

As long as your father is included....no problem.

Marrying a lady or a woman who doesn't read the Bible, but embellished in her beauty and doesn't want to go out of shape as if she's preparing hersef for another man, is the cause of all this kind of friction in the modern home. Some union are built on too much sex before marriage, so much so that after the union is consummated, the woman resent the man feeling she has already given him all he could ever wish for prior.
If your marriage must succeed, obey and involve God from the start, build it on him and continue to allow his Manual keep and direct your decisions. If that lady had been attentive to God's word, she would know she can't deny her spouse his conjugal right on a very flimsy excuse. Once you're married you have no right over your body anymore be it the man or the woman.