The thought of moving to a rented apartment may not appeal to your husband but the thought of getting his own property may appeal to him.

Move in with your husband into the family house and then both of you start saving together to get your own land and build your own ppty. This may take sometime depending on several factors but the fact that you’re working towards a better goal should help you enjoy/endure the family house.

You have to be wise, it’s not just about paying the rent for one year but can you remain your loving self and not resent your husband while carrying the financial burden of the family for several years? Don’t start what you can’t finish.

ImaIma1:


Cleverly avoiding? But she said she has already started saving for next year's rent.

Started saving 50k? With Buhari as the president, things would continue increasing, this includes rent. A woman working two jobs has struggled to save 50k. You think she won’t struggle double to keep up with savings when she adds her husband and recurring home bills to it?

All that “I’ll pamper him” would fly out of the window. It is not even because she is a woman, but she is human. After working two jobs, she would come home to be a mother and wife. Then she would realize she is the one that needs to be pampered, not him.

She shouldn’t start what she can’t finish.

MommaD:


Ma, I mean no disrespect by this, but are you married? Do you have anyone living with inlaws?

Anyways, there are a lot of things I left out of my post.

No woman would feel comfortable living with inlaws for two reasons:

1. If you have good inlaws then you want to maintain that relationship at all costs. The talk and teeth fight and even good relationships can turn sore.

2. If you have bad inlaws, you will want to keep your space for your peace of mind.

It is well. I appreciate you taking the time to comment though.

Move in and encourage him that you guys go get your place. You don't need to live there for so long till you feel insulted by their actions.

pocohantas:
Your hubby is good (I assume he is, if not you would have mentioned his bad side).

Your in-laws are welcoming.

But na you just like wahala sha.

So you choose to live in your own family house, away from your husband for 6 years because you don’t want to live in his family house?

You see free house and welcoming in-laws, you wan carry money dash landlord. Can you pay the rent subsequently? Can you manage the home and kids alone? Or you’ll also be needing a help soon. If your husband hasn’t gotten a place all these years, it is because he doesn’t want to! The big question is why. Is he planning on moving directly to his own house or he is just comfortable.

Move to his family house first and plan a future. One that involves you guys having your own space no matter how small.

How come you're so smart and not yet married?

Or is it that you don't want to get married?

Not trying to insult or mock you ma

pocohantas:


Sure I know there is a lot you left unsaid, I just didn’t mention it before they call me feminist, but I knew wassup from your opening post.

No, you can’t leave him for that. Not when you have said he is a good man. There are lots of kept men in Nigeria. His family knows this, that is why they are helping him to pamper you. They don’t want you to leave because they know you are the one covering his shame. You on your part should take advantage of this and get the best out of them too. Let them help you raise those kids you had for their son.

If you have a lot of money, I mean, a source of income that brings in steady plenty of money- then you can rent the apartment. If not, I will still advise you to join him. Don’t wear yourself out. You’ll eventually get to resent him when the burden begins to pile up.

How old are you seriously?

Because you're really wise and knowledgeable.

I would like to ask you something regarding relationship, if you won't bother....

Please I just nee your opinion on it

MommaD:


Yes, I know this, but this is no different from my current situation. At this point, two options are open to me:

- Walk away in search of a man who will shoulder the financial responsibilities 100%

- Hang in there and pray things change.

I choose the latter, not because I'm one pious woman, because trust me, I have my own bad sides, but because I don't want to have my kids for different men.

Marriage is a lot of hard work and if this is my lot to face, then I'll bear it prayerfully.

My husband is a good man who has never raised his hands on me in over eight years. He's also very gentle. So I'll just hang in there while praying (seriously) that things improve.

this is not about prayer... Do anything in your capacity to move him out of there. how does he Intends to build his own house and family if he continue living with his family?. I'll advised you puy it in mind that whatever you do...its either it breaks your family more of make it and at that point,therein nothing be regretted about, good luck in whatever you do...

The beginning of the end of your marriage if you try it.

pocohantas:



Started saving 50k? With Buhari as the president, things would continue increasing, this includes rent. A woman working two jobs has struggled to save 50k. You think she won’t struggle double to keep up with savings when she adds her husband and recurring home bills to it?

All that “I’ll pamper him” would fly out of the window. It is not even because she is a woman, but she is human. After working two jobs, she would come home to be a mother and wife. Then she would realize she is the one that needs to be pampered, not him.

She shouldn’t start what she can’t finish.

It's just January nau. By December, it can be 600k if she keeps it up.

I guess she already has it at the back of her mind that she might end up doing this alone, since she is married to a "home" boy.

[quote author=MommaD post=109437481][/quote]why do t you give him the cash to pay for the house so he can swallow is pride