I find fault in the way you both handled things.

I fault her for going on strike with sex for 2 months without communicating the reasons to you when you asked.
Is it that you both don't communicate at all? Do you tell each other things, relevant or not?
I fault you for handling the situation with violence, you shouldn't have slapped her not to talk of raping her.

Rape isn't just a walk in the park, it causes emotional anxiety, trauma. I believe never in a million years would your wife thought you would treat her that way.

Please just give her time and space because they say time heals pain.
As for your daughter, continue your responsibility don't stop no matter how your wife or family's reactions.



Lastly, never lose focus on your job, self worth... It wouldn't be nice if you're at the verge of losing your home plus job again.

I pray you will never know depression or sorrow. Your home is restored

I didn't believe this story the first time, I still don't believe it now.

A man will cheat and still love his wife 100%. Once a woman starts cheating, be it physically or emotionally, she finds it difficult to mask up her sentiments. If it’s not psychological, then your wife denying you sex for 2 months is a big red flag. Ignore those telling you otherwise. Watch enough episodes of reddit cheating stories on YouTube.
She has you where she wants you because now no one seems to be looking at the remote cause of the issue which is denial of conjugal rights for such an amount of time. All she is holding claims to now is your beat her up and raped her because of common sex.
If you know what is good for you, ignore her totally. She will definitely come around. If she doesn’t, believe me she was already cheating. In all you do, never jeopardize your job for her again. Trust me, it’s far better for your marriage to crash than for you to lose your job and go broke!

as a married man, if your wife decides to starve you of sex for a long for no good reason, don't fight over it, don't rape her.

just get a side chick (would have preferred a second wife, but we are still deceiving our selves that polygamy is evil)so that you both can contribute equally to the ruining of the marriage.

socialmediaman:
Dude, everything is not all about you! Give your wife the space she wants. If she denied you sex for 2 months, she’s not coming back to give it to you after what you did to her.

Your daughter belongs to you according to Nigeria’s laws, if your wife doesn’t come back, use legal options and get your daughter back.

OP promptly act on this second paragraph. It's the urgent thing you need now. After that, rest and focus on yourself.

Kellzzyy:

OP promptly act on this second paragraph. It's the urgent thing you need now. After that, rest and focus on yourself.

No need, no court would give a wife beater and raper custody! He should just ignore them all and focus on himself. If she comes around, fine, if she doesn’t, then she had been cheating all along.

princeeze1:

No need, no court would give a wife beater and raper custody! He should just ignore them all and focus on himself. If she comes around, fine, if she doesn’t, then she had been cheating all along.

He doesn't need to admit the rape in court.
It'll be hard for her to prove the rape.
This is just legal technicalities. He could whip up an entirely new story about the saga and the court would grant him custody.

Totiemide:
I find fault in the way you both handled things.

I fault her for going on strike with sex for 2 months without communicating the reasons to you when you asked.
Is it that you both don't communicate at all? Do you tell each other things, relevant or not?
I fault you for handling the situation with violence, you shouldn't have slapped her not to talk of raping her.

Rape isn't just a walk in the park, it causes emotional anxiety, trauma. I believe never in a million years would your wife thought you would treat her that way.

Please just give her time and space because they say time heals pain.
As for your daughter, continue your responsibility don't stop no matter how your wife or family's reactions.



Lastly, never lose focus on your job, self worth... It wouldn't be nice if you're at the verge of losing your home plus job again.

I pray you will never know depression or sorrow. Your home is restored

Bloody simp

See how wahala just wear cardigan for you! Hian! Sex is beautiful....sex should be enjoyed.....how did you end up with someone not interested in sex when you have high libido? How? Hian! Biko relax....give her space as requested....continue with your life as usual....she will one day get to the point of readiness to discuss. Even the bible discourages sexual denials in marriage! Na wa o.

Bet na wa for you sha....you raped and slapped the love of your life! Jesu gba wa o. It is well.

Noah9:
If she needed space, that's not a problem. I don't mind buying food outside and I promise not to ask her for sex But let her just come home. Let's talk things. She haven't said a word to me.

You need to understand that she can never see your place as home again. She is traumatized and hurting, I’ll advice you to just let her go. Very few women can recover from that kind of trauma, and even if she will, it won’t happen over night. She needs to be protected now and being around you will not provide that.

For once in your life stop thinking about yourself alone and let her be!

Iyaebe:
Only a foolish woman denies her husband sex for no conc and genuine reasons, you should have ignored her and also refuse her when she starts showing interest, I so much hate it when a woman messes up a good man for no reasons especially if he takes care of her needs. Why are you even begging? Stop those nonsense apologies and act like a man,sometimes I like some of the teachings of the redpill, I hate weak men and they can never attract me.You've already apologized to her,stop going to her parents house to act like a simplyton,please read some of the redpill nuggets and apply it but don't add bitterness to it,it will help you act and reason like a real man.Moderator lalasticlala move to front page let nairalanders see my comment and know that I'm not biased and I have wisdom and very sensible too,let them also know that I'm just entertaining them with most of my comments.

This definitely can't be the same iyaebe that I know

Hmmmmm

Noah9:
Please I'm not asking anyone for money here and why're you calling me a Simp?

Just because I needed my wife back home?? It's my wife I married legally I'm talking about here.

You're still not getting it. You need to stop begging your wife. Why you get coconut head like this?

Na dis your behaviour make your wife coochie no dey wet for you again. You no know say women hate nice guys wey dey always supplicate? I'm sure you were always begging her for sèx each time she denied you till it got to rapè level.

Bro, hear me again, stop begging your wife and move on. If she comes back, good; if she doesn't, good.

According to which of the Nigerian Laws ? In case of a divorce if the court sees that she is capable of taking care of the child financially and in other aspects they will give her custody. You people carried patriarchy to law. If there is any law that says otherwise please let us know. Her parents seems like they are educated and Informed so Oga is in for a ride.

socialmediaman:
Dude, everything is not all about you! Give your wife the space she wants. If she denied you sex for 2 months, she’s not coming back to give it to you after what you did to her.

Your daughter belongs to you according to Nigeria’s laws, if your wife doesn’t come back, use legal options and get your daughter back.

sisisioge:
See how wahala just wear cardigan for you! Hian! Sex is beautiful....sex should be enjoyed.....how did you end up with someone not interested in sex when you have high libido? How? Hian! Biko relax....give her space as requested....continue with your life as usual....she will one day get to the point of readiness to discuss. Even the bible discourages sexual denials in marriage! Na wa o.

Bet na wa for you sha....you raped and slapped the love of your life! Jesu gba wa o. It is well.

What if she doesn't ever get to the point of readiness to discuss? The man should just zero his mind abeg. He's feeble minded and his wife is wicked. She's happy he did what he did. He can never, in good conscience, ask for sèx from her ever again. I swear she's secretly ecstatic

princeeze1:

No need, no court would give a wife beater and raper custody!.

very sad!

Jennyclay:
Your wife did the right thing by moving to her parent's house.

You hit your wife so hard that she was bleeding from her mouth (only God knows how many times you hit her be4 blood gushed out), you saw her bleeding mouth, and you raped her. Sir you're a pro max in raping.

She also did a good thing by not releasing your daughter to you. Because you might rape the little girl too. We have read many cases here on nairaland how Men rape their daughters and it all started like this.

You want her parents to welcome you with beer and asu for beating & raping their daughter?? oga you're on your own oo.

People like u need to be hidden from the whole world because your thinking says all ,if u are married u understand exactly what he is going tru .Do u think its easy for a man with ego to come down from his high horse and take responsibility for his actions which he has done .Wat more do u want ,that u kept imagining the worse of him .He is never on his own because he has taken the first step to that responsibility for his actions and I know he will survive this also

Stop begging. Change your door lock. She must beg before you let her in.

Delete her number and start fūcking new pussy.

You also have to forget your daughter. Let her raise her with her parents.

Don't beg a woman. That's the easiest way to push her away. Always form right.

When we keep talking about simping, una think say we stupid and hate women. See your life now. Yeye

Noah9:
I want to thank everyone for their advice and I really appreciate everyone involvement about the thread I created 2week ago. Here is the link.
https://www.nairaland.com/6933724/regretted-actions-please-me

Great people of this forum, honestly things have never been better ever since that incident and I wish our minds are like show glass so that y'all would see how sorry I am inside of me. I messed up and I'm really sorry.

5 days after I created that post above, My wife traveled with my daughter to her parents house to stay without telling me. Since that incident my wife haven't said a word to me, Not a single word. Sometimes I wonder if she's the same woman I married. I'm frustrated, incoherent and I'm losing my mind.

I've been good to her, I provide 85% for my family while she bring just 15% yet I don't complain, I'm romantic and good looking, since we married I don't keep female friends not to talk of cheating. Yet She denied me sex over 2 months without any reasons, that was why I acted that way and I'm so sorry.

On Tuesday here, My friend and I traveled to her parents house, they did not even welcome us well, I don't know what she must have told her parents but I explained myself, knelt down and asked for forgiveness.

She refused to come home with me, her parents were just starring at me like I'm some demon, I requested for my daughter but she refused to release her and I've already paid my daughter's school fees for the term. Her parents said they would register my daughter in a new school, that my wife need some space for now.

Please don't call me a weak man, I'm family oriented, I don't want broken home, if she needed some space that's not a problem, I can give her all the space in the world but let her come home. It's not proper raising a child in a broken home...I'm really losing my mind.

I faced query today at work because I traveled without informing my Boss which I know he won't allow me and I know how much would be deducted from my salary. what I'm going through now I can't wish my enemies and I wish I could turn back the hands of time. I messed up.

Beloveth Pls I need advice.

Are you sure another animal, place or thing hasn't been satisfying your wife? Are you sure her parents are fully aware of her shenanigans? Are you sure that your daughter is yours? Are you sure that woman you are begging for is your wife? I am just asking ohh.

Belafonte:


What if she doesn't ever get to the point of readiness to discuss? The man should just zero his mind abeg. He's feeble minded and his wife is wicked. She's happy he did what he did. He can never, in good conscience, ask for sèx from her ever again. I swear she's secretly ecstatic

Hmmmm...that's another point o. Bet why would a wife be happy to be separated from her husband if he is a good man? Did she fall out of love with him? What could she have told her parents to make them support the separation even after hearing his side of the story? It is well fa...let me rest on this matter. I have tried.

Goodest evening Oba.

Once this man gets it into his head that actions and inactions all have consequences he will begin to rest well.

The inaction of his wife arising from her denial of sex resulted in the the dirty slap and forced knacks which in turn resulted in her moving away from home.

Mr man should let her rest. She should go. Any more apologies and his self respect will be in the high negatives like Naija’s debt profile. In as much as she might have pushed you to the wall, you don’t deserve forgiveness bro. If she doesn’t want to forgive, take it in good faith. Cos your life as you know it will never be the same again.

The best advice you will get is to make sure your daughter is taken care of. Avoid fuccking up your source of income. Send money and keep records.
Forget your wife. Continued begging will be detrimental going forward.

sisisioge:


Hmmmm...that's another point o. Bet why would a wife be happy to be separated from her husband if he is a good man? Did she fall out of love with him? What could she have told her parents to make them support the separation even after hearing his side of the story? It is well fa...let me rest on this matter. I have tried.

Goodest evening Oba.

Good evening B.


She probably never loved him to begin with. He most likely was a means to an end, the end being the Mrs title and a child.

I would advise him to relay the situation to his parents, especially his father. Let his people go meet her people and see if things can be sorted out (to fulfil all righteousness). If she still refuses to come back home after that intervention, Baba should go and get a babe that he'll be sampling steadily and openly.


I repeat, woman no fit use coochie shakara me. I go just dey laugh dey shake head. Denying your husband sèx should be a criminal offence, and 2 months is extreme.

If na me

I for don give her red card since

Right now

I go just ignore her and move on.

Depressed kii you there

She pushed you to rape her. But you did a very bad thing

You should have gone outside to get sex

It’s the cheapest thing right now

Toto too cheap

Newboss:
Stop begging. Change your door lock. She must beg before you let her in.

Delete her number and start fūcking new pussy.

You also have to forget your daughter. Let her raise her with her parents.

Don't beg a woman. That's the easiest way to push her away. Always form right.

When we keep talking about simping, una think say we stupid and hate women. See your life now. Yeye

I fully support this post apart from the lock-changing part. Let her come in and find you and your new babe kpanshing. Let her kuku go and eat her püssy. She dey crase. 2 fücking months? I'm incensed

You have done your part. It's time to leave the rest to fate. Begging her again will ruin you finally.

Pls don't listen to those saying that you should tell her if she needs a divorce ,just give her some time she might have told her parents some other things about you ,pls be patient,God will restore your marriage for good.

Raalsalghul:


I'm tempted to call you simp but I won't.

They said "ignore your wife and focus on your work and daughter" and you are talking about "coming home to talk."

Don't you have dignity?

I personally think your wife is tired of that marriage (the fact that she denied you sex for two months says a lot) and you can use this period to gauge that fact seeing that you've apologized already.

Focus on your daughter and career abeg.

Mtcheww!

S**p!!!

You're a bachelor giving marital advice? I'm not even sure you're in a relationship but yet you are 'advising' the OP on how to handle a marital crisis

Hian, Nairaland, I shake yansh for una

Noah9:
If she needed space, that's not a problem. I don't mind buying food outside and I promise not to ask her for sex But let her just come home. Let's talk things. She haven't said a word to me.

Be careful whose counsel you follow on this forum. 90% of those 'advicing' you aren't married, while some can't even keep a stable relationship, yet they are giving strong opinions on how to handle your marital issues. Be very careful.

Ishilove:

You're a bachelor giving marital advice? I'm not even sure you're in a relationship but yet you are 'advising' the OP on how to handle a marital crisis

Hian, Nairaland, I shake yansh for una

What is your problem with me because so far everyone has given the same advice which is "ignore his wife and focus on his daughter and career" yet you choose to attack me.

Have you proffered any solution to Op's predicament Mrs marriage consultant?

The way people gloss over rape on NL is shocking.So many sick men or boys here.

The Op said he slapped his wife till blood was pouring from her face.Does that sound like one slap to you? Is his hand  made of iron? This man probably punched her face till she bled.

His wife must've been screaming and struggling with him,but what did he do?

He had an erec tion which he proceeded to put into a terrified woman who's vag ina was dry.

What happens when a vagina is dry? It gets bruises and tears,Op continued to fu ck till he ejac ulated.
Who gets turned on till ejaculation with a partner who is bleeding,struggling and dry down there? Does this sound normal to you sickos?

Next day,his wife must've had a bruised face ,traumatised psyche and a battered bleeding  vag ina,and Op expects her to be fine  just because he said sorry.

Then you sick fu cks expect her to have recovered instantly and accepted it as punishment for not having secks for 2 months.

No one is taking into account the sort of trauma he has caused her.This will be with her forever.The woman is so traumatised that she hasn't said a word to him since that day and you people are here talking rubbish.

So, if he asks her something and she says no,what next? Beat out another blood and shove it in again? You people have no concept of trauma ,the effect of seeing someone that loves you become a monster ,beat out blood and then proceed to be aroused from it Disgusting!

There are a lot of ways to deal with lack of sex for 2 months.Forceful intercourse garnished with iron fisted slaps is not the way.

Imagine saying her parents are not welcoming you? No atom of self awareness in your bones.
They have said she needs time,leave her alone and let her have that time.Its not in your place to dictate how she should deal with what has happened.

A lot of you have daughters or will have daughters abi? No problem.