dview001:


You're a stupid woman...i strongly believe you are cheating on your husband. Hence your plan to elope with the other monkey.


Stupid LovePeddler

You should banned for this nonsense you posted,some of you have lost touch with reality.
You feel you can say whatever you choose just because you're behind a keypad,it's terrible.

How will you call someone a LovePeddler,why?
What proof do you have?

Juicy1945:
Maybe is your behavior that push him into betting. 3 months you want to divorce.

how can you read without your brain? Did I say he just started this? It has been his lifestyle.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

don't divorce him. Rather separate from him when he can't provide the money you are expecting. Normally I won't advise a woman to kick her husband when he is down, but in this case that's the only option because you clearly know his issues has to do with gambling. He is married now and has responsibilities which he must manage with his earnings, those days of wishful thinking that he will somehow hammer money from gambling should be long gone. You are already pregnant so don't let hormones cause you to make rash decisions (divorce). It is not a hopeless case yet, but you might need to be stern with him to make him see reasons to be responsible, a good start is a separation

Romanoff:


There is no way she would have noticed it, especially if he's an online gambler. Shey y'all like your privacy and say your partner shouldn't check your phone?

That's why she wouldn't have known.

How would she have been able to track his finances when y'all get defensive when a woman ask y'all money questions?

I'd suggest counselling for both of them, if he's willing to do the work, the marriage can be salvaged.

Judge Judy lolz

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

abort his pregnancy if it is less than 12weeks. You are stuck. Go to a lawyer.

loosingfaith519:
I recently discovered my husband has an addiction and I can't stay married to him.
As soon as money enters his hand, he starts funding some online app and start gambling.
We got married last year Nov.
We have needs and plans we agreed to achieve before the end of March. Which a better accommodation is one of our first goal. Our present accommodation is not ok at all.
On my own part, I'm saving to meet up with our Target, but I discovered, he has nothing. He collected contributions last month, over 200k. All that money wasted. He can't account for it.
January salary has entered, he has started wasting it again.

I'm expecting him to provide 300k at the end of this month. So, that when I sum it with mine, we can have over 600k. Get a decent accommodation and invest the rest.
We need to plan, save for our baby, but his attitude with money is not encouraging me.
The truth is, my husband is stressing me for lack of accountability.

Pls, how do I go about a peaceful divorce? I'm confused, because I'm pregnant.

All the things I'm seeing him do, suffocate me.
What do I do?
Pls, advise me.

Pls I will suggest you be calm because you are pregnant

Have you tried reporting him to his family members and summon a meeting but before them, go to your family and report him, your family will follow you to his family to report and summon him

Secondly you can't just pack out without any members of the two families being aware of the situation on ground, they will say that you already have a man you were pregnant for and finally wishes to go and live with him

Thirdly, you can wait and put to bed then watch if the birth of his first child will change his life style

Immediately after birth, whatever the child needs start demanding, as a matter of fact, give him the antenatal list to go and shop alone unless he wishes you accompany him or he can go with his relatives if he thinks he is doing you a favour

By the time he buy pampers baby food, drugs and your provision his head will reset to nature mode

Some of them are like that but you have to involve them as soon as a child comes

When your child wakes up at midnight, wake him up to carry the child while you prepare food for the child, you have to involve him

At least you have to discuss with the doctor about him paying the delivery fees from there his brain will seat up

And if after all these he doesn't change then it doesn't worth it

Karlzy01:


It's not true,HE CAN CHANGE because I changed.

Sir, how did you change? Was it counseling or how?

aikyg:
How you didn't notice this while you were dating is a big question. Divorcing him may not be an easy decision, since you have a baby coming. Since he doesn't physical abuse you, I'll suggest you both go for counseling

Very good question. I hardly comment on issue like this because these young dudes don't listen to advise instead they will be insulting you then later come here and started telling funny stories when the heat is turn on their bums.

You will be surprise to find out they only dated for 2 or months straight to marriage. Pls how can you date someone for 6 months or less and in your right sense you think you have known him or her enough you must be a joker.

Pls just let her go and sort herself out I have seen so man cases of such so its no longer important to me.

babadee1:


It's only been four months. Move out back to your parent's house first and see if a family intervention can help to sort out this mess.
Worst case scenario you know you can't rely on him for money and never ever put any of your own money into his hands.
You must love some other things about him right? After all you agreed to get married to him.

If I knew, he was a Gambler, the first day I met him and we exchange numbers, I would have blocked him.

Karlzy01:

Nobody said gambling was a good thing.

Hey,it's not as easy as you make it seem asking her to give him an ultimatum to choose.
An addiction is not something to give an ultimatum.
Someone who's addicted to something has to first realize he has a problem and also be willing to change.
And like you said he's not in his right senses but the truth is you can't force a man to quit to and addiction,YOu can't.

It's called choices, you can eat your cake and have it too. Keep gambling, lose your familymor stop gambling, keep your family. Was he born with a gambling addiction? You opened your eyes, no one put a gun to your head and started gambling your life away. Why should she live her life paying for the consequences of your stu.pid action? There are consequences, by the time most of you reach 69yrs of age and nothing to show for it nobody would advice you gambling is wrong. How many of you have even won $1,000 since you're been gambling and do you know how useless $1k is when your monthly bill is way up there?

Ugwuoke347:
Don't divorce.
You are the woman, the spiritual leader of the home.
You are the home maker.
God Almighty has given you that charge.
Stamp your feet to the ground and cast the devil out of your home!
Declare it and it shall be so.
You have a battle to win.
Don't give the devil as little as a fraction of an inch.
It is the devil that is deceiving your husband.
Don't let the same devil deceive you into thinking divorce was a solution.
Woman, you have a battle in your hands.
Prayer is the weapon.
Pray yourself and your home out of the deception of the evil one.
Be strong, be courageous.
Step out boldly and all the forces of God shall deliver victory to you.
If you run now, you will be running and stumbling for the rest of your life.
The choice is yours to make.
I am wishing you the very best of strength.

You guys have started with all these misquoting.

Where is it that the woman is the spiritual leader of the home. Did your Bible tell you that?

The man is the spiritual leader of the home, it is because most men have failed that you see women leading the home spiritually.

Give her advice if you want to but don't start preaching heresy.

Wao

matrix199:
It's obvious you've not seen the movie 'Acrimony' by Tyler Perry. Everyone has his demon(addition). Some demons are soft, some are destructive. Now you don't chicken out on a partner, especially one with a challenge. You help him fight his demon. Talk to him about it. Make him agree to let you keep 80% of his earning every month.

By the way, were you thinking you'd find someone better? Well it doesn't always work that way. Rather than divorce him to find someone better, only to find someone either addicted to something or someone worse, you can work on him to make him the better man you crave.

Admonition from an elder.

loosingfaith519:
My thought too. Thanks

Your thought too? Damn so you’ve got this bitterness thought all along and you on here seeking for advice? Aunty it your life anywayz, your choice & your burden…

[s]

naija4life247:
This one nah Olosho. Just after four months, you want divorce, go nah, go back to the streets where you belong. As for gambler husband, if he doesn't stop, then Russian gods of Ogun and Esu Odara will strike him.

[/s]

Unfortunately your father should have worn a condom but he refused. NL would've had one less idio.t but it's not too late, you can jump in front of the next truck you see.

You should report him to parents or elders he respects, don't divorce him, rather learn to ignore him. Be ready to go on the journey of saving/setting up a business by yourself alone. You don't need to go into partnership with such a wreckless spender, otherwise he will pull down his finances and pull down yours too. Try and see ways in which you can lead him back to church, .......what would he spend time doing at home on Sundays if not betting?

Begin to hide your finances from him, he is wasting his money because he knows you are a financial backup to him. As the pregnancy progresses, whenever you know he has received his salary, go to him and make all your demands for the month. Thank God he is not abusive in anyway, so try and go about your life and be happy. Avoid birthing more children, rather observe him to see if things will get better.

Advancedman:


Counseling is the next big job in this country but it's seriously down played.
Back to the topic For me getting pregnant is not the next straight thing after marriage if you both haven't lived together before, you need to discuss ,have goal, target, etc that is the reason I so much appreciate the western way unlike our don't in every thing that is crucial to one's life.
The accomodations ought to come before pregnancy even financial preparations for the additional human should be in place others includes emergency fund, hazard first Aids.

We actually planned it. If he were to keep to the plan, we wouldn't have any problem here. I'm just two months pregnant. We still have long way to go making preparations and money for our baby. Yet, he's the one scarttering what we're building

Best advice ever.

Aufbauh:
Sorry to say this, it seems you're not really matured for marriage.

Seeing this deficiency in your partner Just one year into your marriage and you're already fed up with the marriage. Haba!
If he was your blood brother would you have given up on him so quickly?

He might be doing this with the intention of hitting it big for the family even though you perceived it differently.
Sit down with him & advice him tactically or make an alternative investment suggestion to him that will take his attention off the online gambling.

NoToPile:


You guys have started with all these misquoting.

Where is it that the woman is the spiritual leader of the home. Did your Bible tell you that?

The man is the spiritual leader of the home, it is because most men have failed that you see women leading the home spiritually.

Give her advice if you want to but don't start preaching heresy.

Don't mind them.
Woman now Spiritual Leader of the Home.
This was exactly how BUHARI became our leader

@Op... your husband is in bondage, so don't even hold your breath expecting him to change. It's not going to happen now 'cos he has not made up his mind to break out of his addiction.

That said...

I know you're frustrated, that's why you're thinking about divorce. However focusing on divorce will prevent you from thinking about other ways to solve your problem.

Trust me there's a way you can get around the problem of him not contributing anything.

If your husband is a salary earner, discuss with him about you receiving a certain percentage of his salary every month...this will be used to run the household.
(It's obvious that you should be handling the finances in your home...)

Then both of you should visit his bank and let him get a standing order that allows them to automatically debit a percentage of his salary and deposit it into your account as soon as he get's paid.

This way he won't have the chance to use all the money for gambling... he can use any amount that you guys agree to leave for him to fund his addiction.

Any right thinking man who means well for his family will definitely agree to this.

However, if he refuses this suggestion... that's when you should consider "abandoning the ship"... otherwise he'll end up drowning all of you in the sea of poverty.

twilliamx:
That is not enough reason to leave your husband, talk to your husband. And let me tell you a secret. 79 percent of men today play sports bet. Some are just extreme than others. Get his parent involved

79% of which men? . Did you pull that data out of your ass? You mean 79% of you re.tarded no future, jobless clowns. Where did you get your Data Analyst degree from? Pretty sure it's from The University of Dumb.ass.

Your marriage is still very young and divorce is not the way out madam. i will advice you both go for counselling..

baby124:
He can’t change. If you continue, just prepare to assume most responsibilities with him more than likely robbing you of the little you have. They will keep telling you to endure, he will use ego and probably violence to shut you up, while you wallow in poverty. I have seen this case like 3 times.

The way people behave around money is so crucial in marriage. Some people are addicted to money. They get a high from getting money they did not work for, spending it lavishly and repeat. It’s best you let him as an adult decide if he wants to continue messing up his life or choosing his family. You need a lot of luck if you stay.

Thank you,I see a lot of people talking about getting him to change and I laughed. Only God can change a man. Your partner money language is one thing love will not help you solve so never ignore it. Many people don't know this when they are single. Dear Op It's time to take charge of your lives and start planning how to build your family. Stop planning with him in mind. It's a long lonely road. Keep praying for him and praying for strength. Divorce is taking a shortcut and with a baby on the way it's not a good decision. I pray you get it softer than some women who has walked this road before. Lastly I hope he changes for your own good.

Felimax:
Don't divorce him. Work on him please. Any small thing divorce, now you are pregnant, you have a baby and you are here shouting divorce so that when you raise your children alone the society will add their own to help you make them to be useless.

Never underestimate the presence of a father in the house, Never!
Keep your mouth shut and talk to your God.

For every spouse we are married to there is a cross to carry and the only one who can make it lighter for you is God.

like u already..
God bless you.

U need divorce and u want it peaceful. I rarely have seen any divorce that the parties are fighting in the court. So it must be peaceful.
Have a peaceful divorce.

loosingfaith519:
how can you read without your brain? Did I say he just started this? It has been his lifestyle.

This is a growing menace among Nigerian guys of today. Many guys want to hammer money through online betting and in the process they keep losing the little income they have which could have been used to start a legitimate business venture and grow it with time.



Our youths are inpatient to make money and most times our Nigerian ladies are to blame for the pressure guys face to make money quick to satisfy our ladies' wishful fantasies.



Only God and destiny can elevate a man or woman. Nobody can elevate himself beyond his or her destiny. Many that try end up frustrated or harming their life. I know you want a better apartment before you give birth, forget about that and leave it for God, He alone decides our fate in life and if you cry to Him, He can do wonders for you beyond your imagination.


The birth of my son brought unimaginable blessings, as in riches in my life to my amazement despite covid-19 pandemic then. Some babies are destined for greatness and they bring with them riches and favours as they arrive, so pray to your God and watch out.


I would suggest you pause the accommodation issue and focus on increasing your family income by investing whatever money you have saved up into a well thought out business idea around your immediate environment.



Struggling to save in order to move to a better apartment is never a good plan at the long run because accommodation is a recurrent expenditure which requires steady income to sustain.


Your focus now should be how to increase your income not how to spend it via better accommodation.



As for your husband, I think he is a lazy man, he wants to make money overnight and solve all his financial problems at once which never ever happens most times.



You noticed this during dating like you already admitted and you didn't bother to discuss this until now that you are married and already pregnant.


Don't divorce him, its too early, don't be quick in your actions in life.


Like others suggested, talk to him and make him understand that you know he is looking for a way to raise big money to surprise you and solve all the problems at once, but that its not necessary. That its better you guys focus on increasing your income gradually through legitimate business venture instead of relying on gambling jackpot that may never come.



Reassure him that you understand why he is gambling to hit jackpot, but make him understand that it rarely works. Suggest to him that he should be staking small amount only while he gives you the rest to save for him so he wont mistakenly use it to gamble. Be loving in your approach while suggesting this and see his reaction thereafter.



If this doesn't work, report him to his closest friend and then his parents or sibling he respects.


All the best

Felimax:
Don't divorce him. Work on him please. Any small thing divorce, now you are pregnant, you have a baby and you are here shouting divorce so that when you raise your children alone the society will add their own to help you make them to be useless.

Never underestimate the presence of a father in the house, Never!
Keep your mouth shut and talk to your God.

For every spouse we are married to there is a cross to carry and the only one who can make it lighter for you is God.

may wisdom be multiplied unto you in Jesus name.

Explore the options available to make him stop gambling. If he doesn't stop, pack him one side and do your thing. Seperation is advisable. Only threat to life/sanity and adultery can automatically annul a marriage.

Ignore all these males sending you on guilt trip. If they had a wife that spends all the money given to them for house upkeep on something else, they won't hesitate to end the marriage.

loosingfaith519:
If I knew, he was a Gambler, the first day I met him and we exchange numbers, I would have blocked him.

My dear sister most people have no clue who they're marrying until several years after marriage. You are even lucky you found out within four months. But the thing is this, marriage is the greatest commitment a person can ever make in this life especially when an innocent child is involved.
It would have been wonderful to know on time before entering the marriage, but now you have entered it you cannot just rush out of it. You must make every possible effort to find a solution first and I pray that God will help you in Jesus name Amen. Pls talk to your parents and ask them for advice.

You are a useless woman

matrix199:
It's obvious you've not seen the movie 'Acrimony' by Tyler Perry. Everyone has his demon(addition). Some demons are soft, some are destructive. Now you don't chicken out on a partner, especially one with a challenge. You help him fight his demon. Talk to him about it. Make him agree to let you keep 80% of his earning every month.

By the way, were you thinking you'd find someone better? Well it doesn't always work that way. Rather than divorce him to find someone better, only to find someone either addicted to something or someone worse, you can work on him to make him the better man you crave.

Admonition from an elder.

Oga, it's not my duty to fix an Id!ot who is damaged beyond repair. The more you try to fix them, the more they cause you pain. I didn't come to this world to fix an adult that is not ready to be fixed. I pray you don't meet a Narcissistic person. You go fix, na you go tire

aikyg:
How you didn't notice this while you were dating is a big question. Divorcing him may not be an easy decision, since you have a baby coming. Since he doesn't physical abuse you, I'll suggest you both go for counseling

People don't date again. They just marry who is available, which is very bad and even selfish

Gold diggers