Good day Nairalanders!
I don't know if anyone has passed through this but I really don't how to make firm decisions. I don't know if I'll attribute it to lack of boldness, lack of gut or fear.
In cases where I should say an outright NO, I'll end up saying maybe or just going with the flow. This has gotten me into deep shit at the moment. I don't just know how to be brave ND bold or something. It's really getting me exhausted.
I also think I give too much respect to what others think or feel about me. I don't just know, I'm a people pleaser in a lot of cases . There are lots of people I should have cut off but no!! They're are still lurking around because I can't tell them how I truly feel.
I just tire!!! I need help.

Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique Roctation farano please front page

Nothing is wrong with you, that's the real natural you. Don't forced behavioral changes in you because you'll end up being in greater mess than you'd ever imagine.

Just like someone telling me to stay without sex or me trying to stop having sex...Lol impossible mission.

MadamVanessa:



Nothing is wrong with you, that's just you natural. Don't forced behavioral changes in you because you'll end up being in greater mess than you'd ever imagine.

You don't get it!!!!
The fact that I'm saying maybe when I mean NO is really affecting me.

This attitude of yours isn't a bad one but would constantly make you hate yourself because of being soft. If you aren't married yet, this would be worst when you do except you change.
.
Like they say, change is constant, you just need to be pushed to the wall.

Anytime like that that you want to make firm decisions, ehn, next time, pour Top Bond on the floor and step into it, then have someone bring you nails and an hammer and drive them into your head. Make a decision on the spot and see if you'll go back on it again.

GeneralKoko:
Good day Nairalanders!
I don't know if anyone has passed through this but I really don't how to make firm decisions. I don't know if I'll attribute it to lack of boldness, lack of gut or fear.
In cases where I should say an outright NO, I'll end up saying maybe or just going with the flow. This has gotten me into deep shit at the moment. I don't just know how to be brave ND bold or something. It's really getting me exhausted.
I also think I give too much respect to what others think or feel about me. I don't just know, I'm a people pleaser in a lot of cases . There are lots of people I should have cut off but no!! They're are still lurking around because I can't tell them how I truly feel.
I just tire!!! I need help.

Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique Roctation farano please front page

You are probably an empath, and should that be the case, there is little or nothing you can do about it than to learn to live with it.

one day you will change just that something has to push you first I just hope its not what will get you into big trouble first you have to change else people will ride you like a horse when they notice.

for now the best you can do is mask it , don't let notice it.

If you really want to be successful in life, it's a must to learn how to stand your ground.

I stopped arguing these days, if I made my point known and you are still sending me dumbo messages or calling me, Sha make sure your phone is on charging

As alot of people have said, it is your nature.

You please others at the expense of your well being. Don't settle for a woman like you o. If you do your family will suffer. Marry someone who doesn't care about pleasing others......someone like me. You will only get to please others when we are please.

excell0001:
one day you will change just that something has to push you first I just hope its not what will get you into big trouble first you have to change else people will ride you like a horse when they notice.

for now the best you can do is mask it , don't let notice it.

It has already gotten me in deep shit!!

GeneralKoko:
Good day Nairalanders!
I don't know if anyone has passed through this but I really don't how to make firm decisions. I don't know if I'll attribute it to lack of boldness, lack of gut or fear.
In cases where I should say an outright NO, I'll end up saying maybe or just going with the flow. This has gotten me into deep shit at the moment. I don't just know how to be brave ND bold or something. It's really getting me exhausted.
I also think I give too much respect to what others think or feel about me. I don't just know, I'm a people pleaser in a lot of cases . There are lots of people I should have cut off but no!! They're are still lurking around because I can't tell them how I truly feel.
I just tire!!! I need help.

Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique Roctation farano please front page

And you call yourself general. What an irony

GeneralKoko:

It has already gotten me in deep shit!!

if you still do it then you never enter serious wahala be that

Start doing hard stuff, it would make you respect yourself, expand your endurance, and intelligence, which helps in strengthening your inner core, and makes it automatic to not give a shit what people think. Hard stuff can be tough sport, learning a new language, starting a business, and sticking to your schedule.

Then you'll cruise higher than a lot of folks and their opinion will be irrelevant like a barking dog. You won't see a need to displease yourself for people that haven't actually started living. The more you live like this, the easier it gets. Your decisions will be bolder, your presence will reflect confidence, and it will make you to be self-assured.

Just as a tree continuously bears fruits and blossom, there is a part of you that wants to express itself, and when you suppress it (by pleasing others to your own detriment, not living your truth, sacrificing yourself uselessly for others etc), you just killed your unborn self, and it's a sure path to an unhappy, unsatisfied and a bitter life. Stop it.

GeneralKoko:


You don't get it!!!!
The fact that I'm saying maybe when I mean NO is really affecting me.

let me give you a hand here. Try hard to make a crazy dog angry, when the dog is angrily advancing towards you, then you make a decision weather to run or not to. Let me see how maybe will work for you.

I think it is your nature but there are two things that ends up defining who we really are. NATURE and NURTURE. you can nurture yourself to become whatever you want to be.

Let me give my input which could help a bit.

If you have no problem with telling lies, then you need to start telling lies about people's request. Sincerely It will be difficult for you to start saying NO right away. If someone request for something, tell them you don't have e.g Abeg borrow me your phone to call, I no get card. Abeg find me N200, i no get. Abeg help me buy bread if you dey come house, don't buy it, if u reach bouse say i forget.

Soon you will graduate to, I am making use of it. Abegfind me 2H, ahh i wan use am now now, abeg no vex. If you are making use of your phone or laptop n someone say, abeg borrow me for 3mins, baba i dey busy. Your friend tells you quickly escort me reach this place, abeg i don tire or i dey get body pain.

Soon you will graduate into an outright NO.

I know this may want to turn you into a very hardened person but that is one of the way to liberate yourself from this mess. because it is really a mess.

And again I think you are afraid that you are going to loose friendship and relationship. I use to have this fear as well because i was behaving this way b4 but I have adjusted.

Infact I discovered that those strong and tough hearted guys maintain better relationships. Even if you feel those people will stop being your friend, think within yourself, what has that person ever benefited you that warrant you protecting the friendship at the expense of your happiness. Just like a boyfriend/girlfriend you have not benefitted anything from threatening a break up.

Once you start it, you will learn not to do things to please anyone or at the expense of your happiness.

Nevertheless, since it is your nature, you cannot completely erode it, you just have to nurture yourself to find a middle ground to do the right thing and at same time make yourself happy.

Chisave:
I think it is your nature but there are two things that ends up defining who we really are. NATURE and NURTURE. you can nurture yourself to become whatever you want to be.

Let me give my input which could help a bit.

If you have no problem with telling lies, then you need to start telling lies about people's request. Sincerely It will be difficult for you to start saying NO right away. If someone request for something, tell them you don't have e.g Abeg borrow me your phone to call, I no get card. Abeg find me N200, i no get. Abeg help me buy bread if you dey come house, don't buy it, if u reach bouse say i forget.

Soon you will graduate to, I am making use of it. Abegfind me 2H, ahh i wan use am now now, abeg no vex. If you are making use of your phone or laptop n someone say, abeg borrow me for 3mins, baba i dey busy. Your friend tells you quickly escort me reach this place, abeg i don tire or i dey get body pain.

Soon you will graduate into an outright NO.

I know this may want to turn you into a very hardened person but that is one of the way to liberate yourself from this mess. because it is really a mess.

And again I think you are afraid that you are going to loose friendship and relationship. I use to have this fear as well because i was behaving this way b4 but I have adjusted.

Infact I discovered that those strong and tough hearted guys maintain better relationships. Even if you feel those people will stop being your friend, think within yourself, what has that person ever benefited you that warrant you protecting the friendship at the expense of your happiness. Just like a boyfriend/girlfriend you have not benefitted anything from threatening a break up.

Once you start it, you will learn not to do things to please anyone or at the expense of your happiness.

Nevertheless, since it is your nature, you cannot completely erode it, you just have to nurture yourself to find a middle ground to do the right thing and at same time make yourself happy.

Thanks a lot. I appreciate

GeneralKoko:
Good day Nairalanders!
I don't know if anyone has passed through this but I really don't how to make firm decisions. I don't know if I'll attribute it to lack of boldness, lack of gut or fear.
In cases where I should say an outright NO, I'll end up saying maybe or just going with the flow. This has gotten me into deep shit at the moment. I don't just know how to be brave ND bold or something. It's really getting me exhausted.
I also think I give too much respect to what others think or feel about me. I don't just know, I'm a people pleaser in a lot of cases . There are lots of people I should have cut off but no!! They're are still lurking around because I can't tell them how I truly feel.
I just tire!!! I need help.

Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique Roctation farano please front page

You are just like me..
Though mine is dying off as i grow.
Back then i rather get shamed than seeing a friend get shamed, i easly feel guilty.

GeneralKoko:
Good day Nairalanders!
I don't know if anyone has passed through this but I really don't how to make firm decisions. I don't know if I'll attribute it to lack of boldness, lack of gut or fear.
In cases where I should say an outright NO, I'll end up saying maybe or just going with the flow. This has gotten me into deep shit at the moment. I don't just know how to be brave ND bold or something. It's really getting me exhausted.
I also think I give too much respect to what others think or feel about me. I don't just know, I'm a people pleaser in a lot of cases . There are lots of people I should have cut off but no!! They're are still lurking around because I can't tell them how I truly feel.
I just tire!!! I need help.

Lalasticlala Mynd44 Dominique Roctation farano please front page

You are a General ...

Go and Hit the Gym and Start Punching the Wall.

You need to Hardened Up Your Brain and Muscles. The pains therefrom will make you look at people in the eyes and blast Your No, When it's a No.

Na sufferness dey make Military man Tough.

Don't wait until your bia-bia land you for trouble. Weaker ones get taken advantage of.