Cuddlemii:

@ronke

That was very rude of you to refer to me as 'that one" like I am some entity or thing. I only made a comment and didn't even read your post or comment on it. I know where my priority lies and don't need you to analyze that for me. I said me being a working class lady would not affect my role as a home maker or a good wife and mother. I will like to pitch in my own quota to the family expenses and spendings. I believe you were dealing with Dayo and not cuddlemii.

As long as my goals are accomplished, I don't need to derive the method of others but find what works for my whole family and off course my hubby would also be part of that decision.

So what happens when my hubby can't provide again, we should move back to the village abi? We all know the uncertain economy we are in, its wise to save for the rainy days
Please madam, mind you grammer.

dayokanu:

Oya lets find one corner to go and do more than cuddle

ronkebp:

Cuddlemi, i was not referring to you as 'that one" but the post, so don't be offended by that, i did not mean any harm, moerover i envy you, (positively) just let me know when you are married and have kids, if you still think the way you do.

juman:

Working class lady.

cooker:

working class lady

Miss_Ife:

It's an interesting topic, I have never thought of being a housewife ever in my life. Being married with kids, I now think it is good for a woman to have a balanced lifestyle between work and family. Work is necessary, because I consider my husband and I to be a team, we work together towards goals, we both contribute to the family, and the same way I like him to give me a hand with the housechores, I find it normal to bring my own salary home. I also have my own ambitions and plans for the future, and work guarantees some independence.

Talking about that, having a stable career allowed me to marry the one I truly loved, whether than looking for an already made man and certainly missing on great but not yet wealthy ones.

That being said, I believe there are some moments in a woman's life when it is ok, and probably better to stay home : during the 1st year after birth, for example, and why not until the child goes to school, to make it easier and less stressful (breastfeeding, baby's sleepless nights etc.). I decided to leave a big enough gap between my kids in order to stay home a bit after birth but still go back to work to keep in touch with my career before getting pregnant again.

I've always wondered, though, what the housewives will do after the kids are grown and gone? Won't they feel left out, alone at home waiting for their husband to retire?

Miss_Ife:

It's an interesting topic, I have never thought of being a housewife ever in my life. Being married with kids, I now think it is good for a woman to have a balanced lifestyle between work and family. Work is necessary, because I consider my husband and I to be a team, we work together towards goals, we both contribute to the family, and the same way I like him to give me a hand with the housechores, I find it normal to bring my own salary home. I also have my own ambitions and plans for the future, and work guarantees some independence.

Talking about that, having a stable career allowed me to marry the one I truly loved, whether than looking for an already made man and certainly missing on great but not yet wealthy ones.

That being said, I believe there are some moments in a woman's life when it is ok, and probably better to stay home : during the 1st year after birth, for example, and why not until the child goes to school, to make it easier and less stressful (breastfeeding, baby's sleepless nights etc.). I decided to leave a big enough gap between my kids in order to stay home a bit after birth but still go back to work to keep in touch with my career before getting pregnant again.

I've always wondered, though, what the housewives will do after the kids are grown and gone? Won't they feel left out, alone at home waiting for their husband to retire?

Ndipe:

For those who disagree on my thought that being a housewife is a fulltime career, I would tell them to reconsider their viewpoints. Traditionally, men are supposed to be the breadwinners and women the man's helper. So, in the past, society dictated that a man had to work while the woman stayed at home to nurture the kids. Times have changed with the high cost of living in the society. Even when women work outside their homes (and some of the men here say that being a stay at home mom is a liability), they are expected to come home and take care of the kids, do the dishes, clean, cook and serve the man food. And the man does not even lift up a finger to help them. Rather, he would expect 'honey' to serve him food, clean up the table and do other domestic chores around. Why? Because it's a woman's job. But hey hey, is it not a man's job to provide for the family? If the woman will equally share in contributing to the household finances, then the man should also assist in domestic chores. Afterall, both of you have jobs outside home and it would be unfair to expect the woman to work double shift at home simply because it's not traditional for a man to engage in housework. There is this picture of Obama, prior to his election as the President of the USA, doing the dishes, and some of the men exclaimed that it was very unafrican (which I totally agreed) But times have changed, mek we boku help women too, dem no be slave. Either they stay at home fulltime or if they work, when they come home, also assist them in domestic chores. It's as simple as that. Women are not slaves.

Once, an arguement arose between my cousin and I over this issue. A family friend of theirs graduated from medical school in Nigeria, got married and is now a stay at home mom. Her parents are unhappy that she hasnt utilized her degree and cited the sacrifices they made on her behalf. My cousin saw their reasoning but I completely disagreed with him. I told him that it was the parents duty to educate her, and afterwards, what she chooses to do with her degree is solely upto her and her husband. O

Ndipe:

For those who disagree on my thought that being a housewife is a fulltime career, I would tell them to reconsider their viewpoints. Traditionally, men are supposed to be the breadwinners and women the man's helper. So, in the past, society dictated that a man had to work while the woman stayed at home to nurture the kids. Times have changed with the high cost of living in the society. Even when women work outside their homes (and some of the men here say that being a stay at home mom is a liability), they are expected to come home and take care of the kids, do the dishes, clean, cook and serve the man food. And the man does not even lift up a finger to help them. Rather, he would expect 'honey' to serve him food, clean up the table and do other domestic chores around. Why? Because it's a woman's job. But hey hey, is it not a man's job to provide for the family? If the woman will equally share in contributing to the household finances, then the man should also assist in domestic chores. Afterall, both of you have jobs outside home and it would be unfair to expect the woman to work double shift at home simply because it's not traditional for a man to engage in housework. There is this picture of Obama, prior to his election as the President of the USA, doing the dishes, and some of the men exclaimed that it was very unafrican (which I totally agreed) But times have changed, mek we boku help women too, dem no be slave. Either they stay at home fulltime or if they work, when they come home, also assist them in domestic chores. It's as simple as that. Women are not slaves.

Once, an arguement arose between my cousin and I over this issue. A family friend of theirs graduated from medical school in Nigeria, got married and is now a stay at home mom. Her parents are unhappy that she hasnt utilized her degree and cited the sacrifices they made on her behalf. My cousin saw their reasoning but I completely disagreed with him. I told him that it was the parents duty to educate her, and afterwards, what she chooses to do with her degree is solely upto her and her husband. O

dayokanu:

Pls which kind of men are you talking about and which man would expect a woman to serve him food after a hard days work while he wont do anything? Are we still in the 18th century?

In the olden days, Women dont go to school, and many viewed the education of women as a waste, But nowadays Women are getting as educated as men and in some cases even more educated So why keep the dynamics of 100yrs ago in 2011.

Why keep women tied at home like its done 100yrs ago when they were nt allowed to have an education, vote or even talk in public

Ndipe:

Are you telling me that wives dont serve their husbands food anymore in addition to attending to other domestic chores? Or are you implying that the men assist in domestic chores including washing the dishes, sweeping, cleaning, that will be unusual in the Nigerian culture.

dayokanu:

Ndipe,

[b]All men I know below the age of 40 that dont have househelps help with household chores

frankdata:

i think its jst what the Man wants,  

freshera:

Unicef says, A MIND IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE.

And I say, parents' sacrifices, personal efforts, teachers' slogging and friends 'n' relatives chipping in; TORI OMO NI, for all that to waste is horrific.

So working-class all the way. But there may be situations that may warrant the man or his wife staying at home or working at home for certain amount of time.

What happens if one has only girl children and one stayed at home for them?

jennykadry:

Dayo please keep shut. You have no right whatsoever to call a woman who decided to choose family over career lazy. Seriously you have no rights. You don't run their homes with/for them instead you run your behind on this site with your million and one e-concubines. So shuuush.

Why wouldn't your mum work full time with 4 kids? even me sef can afford to work fulltime if I decide to dump my kids in daycare. We are talking about women that spend all day with their kids because they do not believe in someone else taking their spot all in the name of daycare teachers, this are women that stay home with kids and send them to school only when they are eligible to start nursery school. Women that spend a better part of their time being there for their kids. If you have a child you will know that kids look up to their parents, they go to school and come back looking into mummy's eyes for mummy to tell them that it's alright to spend so much time every weekday with fellow kids they do not know.

Soo don't sit your azz on the chair and call housewives lazy behind your computer screen.

jennykadry:

Dayo please keep shut. You have no right whatsoever to call a woman who decided to choose family over career lazy. Seriously you have no rights. You don't run their homes with/for them instead you run your behind on this site with your million and one e-concubines. So shuuush.

Why wouldn't your mum work full time with 4 kids? even me sef can afford to work fulltime if I decide to dump my kids in daycare. We are talking about women that spend all day with their kids because they do not believe in someone else taking their spot all in the name of daycare teachers, this are women that stay home with kids and send them to school only when they are eligible to start nursery school. Women that spend a better part of their time being there for their kids. If you have a child you will know that kids look up to their parents, they go to school and come back looking into mummy's eyes for mummy to tell them that it's alright to spend so much time every weekday with fellow kids they do not know.

Soo don't sit your azz on the chair and call housewives lazy behind your computer screen.

husbands tend to have relationships and the marriage break anyways and thats why i hear divorce this divorce that,

Da Doctor:

^^Hey,,,NO FIGHTING^^