Nuttella:
There is no way I will take this from any human being on earth, I resigned after one month.

Farfalla:


Actually she joined the organisation as a replacement. I had interacted with her before in other circles but I never picked up on her sadistic tendencies. Maybe I wasn't so keen either.

So, what's your plan after the resignation?

COOL10:


Bro, I'm still recovering from my own narcissistic abuse. I had constant mild panic attacks before going to work. My self esteem was greatly reduced. I had to leave before I run mad.

At least your colleagues saw him for what he is but they were still asslickers. My ex colleagues were so gullible that he managed to convince them that I was the bad guy. I was super nice to this man.

Narcissists get their happiness by causing other people pain but they make it look like you're the evil one. They are empty vessels.

irunoko:
true.i understand where you're coming from.i had this experience too

If anyone shouts around me I hear his voice as if he's the one shouting.honestly being with a narcissist either as a boss or partner is one of the worst experience ever Because everyone will think he's the nice guy and it's you who complains too much or has the issue because they know how to pretend outside and act sweet but inside they are demonic.its traumatic being with such people.you loose yourself everyday, value, purpose and potentials.infact youre being killed without a gun

COOL10:


The funny thing is his supporters aka flying monkeys don't know all the evil things he says behind their backs. If only they knew. Yet he managed to convince them that I'm some sort of arrogant prick who doesn't respect his elders.


I'm more of an introvert, so I don't talk much but my mere presence alone intimidated him. It's almost like he sensed something in me that wasn't in other people that he could control. Darkness hates Light. He felt threatened.

I don't feel narcissists get as much punishment as they deserve. These people need to receive as much evil as they dish out.

irunoko:
funny thing is I don't know or what they say and do but narcissist are always lucky to find a good woman or man who can love them.na them dey get better wife or husband who happens to be an empath and with good character and Even dedicated and committed surbodinates but Na them go still use their character pursue them comot except the partner has no choice on how to exit the marriage

COOL10:


Women are sexually attracted to bad boys and narcissists are known for their bad boy/ self serving characteristics. But don't forget that narcissists can be very friendly in public. They love to keep a saintly reputation. Only their employees or close relatives know how terrible they are.

From my experience, more women fit this dynamic than men as they are the true narcissists. The only thing is that society has accepted female behaviour as normal but judging from all the things I've learnt about narcissism over the years, women are pretty narcissistic

Farfalla:
@ irunoko,

Your boss just can't believe that someone can walk out on him. Narcissists are a self-deluded set of people who believe people need them, but not vice versa. They tend to have the same tendencies in relationships.

I had one narcissistic boss like that who made it difficult for staff members to even breath. She was deployed to our country office and in her bid to show staff members that there was a new sheriff in town, she went on a bullying spree. Yelling was her modus communicandi. She was extremely unpleasant to everyone and got easily triggered by the slightest of things. She tormented everyone, from the driver, to the cleaner, to the Admin Assistant, and to the staff who worked directly under her supervision (where I belonged).

I knew she'd lost it when she not only instructed the Admin Assistant to stand while talking to her, she demanded that her posture should be upright while at it. You know the famous military posture? The famous "chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in"? That's how much of a nutcase she was. Those who tried arse-licking her got exhausted eventually. She was sent from hell to steal, kill and destroy people's peace of mind.

Miss M.O. (her initials) would also resort to passive aggression whenever she couldn't bully you into doing military posture. For instance, she would nominate your name for a training or field activity that would involve taking a trip to countries where some of our partners were based, and 5 days later she'd "change her mind" and nominate some other staff member. She'd do this just to make you prepare for it, envision yourself in Mauritius or the UAE, envision what gifts you'll return with from the trip for your spouse, your children, your parents, siblings, friends, etc, then poof! She'd dash your blueprint. There was a way she'd fold her mouth and lips while giving you unpleasant news. Something akin to an exaggerated duck pout. She'd utilise that pout at such moments. Very sadistic somebody.

To cut the long story short, I recall having a that's it moment and later that day I informed her that I'd be sending my official notice to HR. When the devil's mistress received my official resignation letter, she went mute. I had been such an enthusiastic performer, she felt I needed my job more than the organisation needed me. Of course she demanded to know why I was resigning and I told her that I was moving on to do private business. I stated that I had given my best to people and I felt it's time to explore what I can do for myself.

Within that last month I took up a 2-week field project to get away from the lunatic. I turned down the idea of a farewell party (I generally hate parties) but we just had a last official meeting of some sort where I thanked everyone for their support and wished them well in their endeavours.

The only downside to my resignation was that my papa was disappointed. The way he's held my hand through this journey of life, I usually feel somehow about the prospects of disappointing him. He's a very practical and resilient person, and he never quite understood why anyone would walk out of a very stable source of income for the simple reason that the boss has got satanic tendencies. (Never mind, he himself takes nobody's crap... ) He came around though and supports what I'm currently doing.

Nobody should ever apologise for pursuing their peace of mind.

irunoko:
I agree.they tend to have obsessive controlling disorder.it shows in the way they treat their househelps and people lower than them.

GloriousGbola:


Hmm.

All things considered, sometimes what you do is you hunker down and survive the boss. I lived through three or four horrible bosses. In the end they will always overdo and you will see them exited. This only applies to structured working environment though. If you are in a one man business, better run.

Klass99:


I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Please where is Miss. M.O from? Is she Nigerian or from another African country?

Klass99:

I can just imagine having what sounds like a great work trip taken away at the last minute. That part made me laugh, did she ever do that to you? Your last sentence about peace of mind is golden

Farfalla:


You too like story.

She did that to a colleague of mine. Some members of the management were to take a trip to Ebène. His position was crucial, so it didn't come as a surprise that he was casually informed that he was to be at the work retreat to represent his department.

I don't know whether she sensed his enthusiasm or something, but when she released the official email to the staff members (4 or 5 days later), his name was missing and was instead replaced by some other person from his department. Her reason was that, she felt that this other party "required more exposure". Indeed!

On another occasion, when the organisation was in the process of diversifying its services, it was suggested from HQs that a new department would be created.

Now, because some of us had prior experience in that particular sector it was unanimously agreed that we would take the rest of the staff through training on this new service, and even come up with a concept plan for that new department. I had been involved in that very same service with some of our partners in other countries. We were 3 of us.

We started from scratch and came up with an almost detailed document. She'd see the 3 of us discuss in the boardroom for many hours, and when I finally sent her our final draft for review, she casually acknowledged receipt but mentioned nothing about when we would be conducting the training. When I inquired from her she casually dismissed me and said that she's identified a team of experts who would take us through the whole process.

She saw us go through all the blood, sweat, and tears in coming up with a concept plan and training content. I'm not talking about a 5-page document here. She saw us working on that task like our lives depended on it, all this while she had her own "team of experts", yet she said nothing! Never in my life have I ever resisted the urge to slap somebody (and I've never even tolerated the idea of violence in my entire life).

She was an expert dishing out disappointments and she'd ensure that she'd do it right after you had put your all into something. She loved watching people feeling crushed. There's a condition in psychology to describe people like her - Sadistic Personality Disorder.

There's another UAE story, but I cant get into details for now. This post is already too long.

Klass99:




Miss. M.O sounds like a real piece of work but amusing as well, from the way you tell it.

Klass99:


Lol, but babe where is your country na? I thought you were Nigerian like me.

Klass99:


Oh yes, I like a good story particularly from wonderful story tellers like you and J.K Rowkings, I just finished watching one of the Harry Potter's

Klass99:


Miss. M.O sounds like a real piece of work but amusing as well, from the way you tell it. I was thinking she may not have been out of line for sending a more junior and less experienced staff to Ebene because.....

Sometimes, junior staff do need the exposure and it doesn't hurt if they experience such work trips. But, she was clearly doing it to spite others, so yeah that feels wrong.

GloriousGbola:


Hmm.

All things considered, sometimes what you do is you hunker down and survive the boss. I lived through three or four horrible bosses. In the end they will always overdo and you will see them exited. This only applies to structured working environment though. If you are in a one man business, better run.

irunoko:
lmaooo haba !

Kill say you no wan work for them again? When no be say we swear oath

irunoko:
I am sorry I won't be able to go into details because I am not a fan of typing for a very long time but I notice that when you choose to resign from a particular company because you've had enough of the boss's bullshi** and intrusive and controlling behaviour,why do they go into an outburst as if you have offended them because you say you want to resign and then later try to manipulate and gaslight you? Why do they get offended for choosing to resign?

Ilekokonit:


They get offended because they are control freaks and the number of people they can bully and push around just reduced by one and they are also sad that others will see that they have been demystified and may want to try to leave as well.

They can't stand the fact that you managed to break away from Corporate Stockholm Syndrome which is why most employees stay in bad jobs just to get the regular paycheck.

Such bosses / people derive their sense of being from putting others down and under their feet and your resigning just burst their balloon of self importance.