Na money or dick for women.
Na money or pussy for man.
Red flags dey turn orange when pussy too sweet some men.
Red flags can even turn pink when prick and money too sweet some women.
We never even talk of make red gays turn peach. Lol

I use to laugh at those who think love is the inability to control your feelings. Those people are stupid! Very stupid.

Yusufisraelj:
That's equally fine if you think in terms of that, God can lead people via desires, personal conviction or by prophecy.

Your suggestions quite falls on the first.

I don't follow.

Ahmed0336:
Love is Blind

NO... it is insecurity and lack of self-worth

Francisanointed:
Pardon my grammatical errors
A lot of people who regretted getting married to their spouse can attest to the fact that they saw the "red flags" but they insist on continuing the relationship and getting married.
Why do people do this ? Married men/women, single ladies/guys,what make/made you to think of marriage even after the red flags
A girl continues a relationship or marry a guy that beats her often,cheats on her unrepentantly,abuse her and disrespects her.
A guy continues a relationship where he sees the girl cheats,lies and disrespect him. Sometimes you know there are things you can't naturally tolerate but you tolerate them in relationship and eventually when you get married,you want those things you tolerated in your marriage to stop. That is impossible!
I know you can't marry someone that is 80 percent a version of you. But you must know what you can cope with

Why do people get married with someone they saw "red flags" ?

The matter tire me too.

https://gist.am/question/why-do-people-get-married-with-someone-they-saw-red-flags

Jennyclay:
I created a thread early January this year seeking for an advice about how my boyfriend is keeping malice with his father for over 3 years, even till today without opening up to me about what actually happened. Mind you he's a great guy with good qualities. But I saw that "malice" as a big red flag. But most nairalanders were saying Men are scares, you better continue with the relationship.

What if we had little misunderstanding in marriage will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years? If he can't forgive his father despite I've tried severally to talk to him politely, will he even forgive me? That was a very big red flag for me. I don't want to feel lonely in marriage.

If you're in a potential relationship and he/she is displaying some unwanted characters and you're seeing the signal clearly that it's a red flag but you're hoping he/she is gonna change, hmmm.. Honestly it's not easy to change a full grown man/woman. Don't give yourself false hope he/she will change.

Being in a Relationship is not all about Intercourse But interview. What do you do during an interview? You have a chance to communicate and study each other personality and character, it would be so easy to detect red flags. Don't be carried away by sex, money and gifts.

You gave the best analysis as regards to the topic...Experience is truely the best teacher.

So did you later found out why he kept malice with the man he called Dad?

3years is too much...Though some fathers can be extremely annoying, but not to extent of malice.

My Dad ones he offends me, I bodly tell it to his face what he did is wrong...He will carry face for small time, then later will call to engage me in serious discussion...now I am imagining him staying off for 1yr...damn! .

nighter:
You're arguing over nothing. That guy is absolutely right. Wanted to comment on your first post on this but thought it wasn't necessary. Not until I saw that you're still dragging this ignorantly. The internet is a free space for anyone with access to post. The fact that someone puts a definition to something doesn't make it law. Flaw= shortcoming which every individual must have. Red is used to connote danger. It's basic English or common sense as the case may be.

Like I said, a Flaw is a redflag and A redflag is a flaw. I even posted grom an article written by a psychiatrist on this for you to maybe see this.

If you have anything meaningful to add, then go ahead and we can iron it out.

Mostly PREMARITAL SEX.
We ignore alot when we are sleeping with somebody.

Secondly, voodoo or juju or love spells...
Many people are under shit they know nothing about because they were careless with themselves or victims of the cunningly wicked...

Imagine making a woman cook for you and she adds her ................. to it... you will not come out of it easily unless you turn to God.

Imagine chopping a guy's money non stop and he is collecting your light while you think he's a simp. LMAO

Many people dey learn work for here.
STOP PREMARITAL SEX & STOP COLLECTING MONEY FROM MEN/WOMEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE NOT READY TO MARRY.

WHEN YOU STOP THE RED FLAG WILL BE RED ENOUGH & YOU WILL NOT BE ABLE TO IGNORE IT

Francisanointed:
Pardon my grammatical errors
A lot of people who regretted getting married to their spouse can attest to the fact that they saw the "red flags" but they insist on continuing the relationship and getting married.
Why do people do this ? Married men/women, single ladies/guys,what make/made you to think of marriage even after the red flags
A girl continues a relationship or marry a guy that beats her often,cheats on her unrepentantly,abuse her and disrespects her.
A guy continues a relationship where he sees the girl cheats,lies and disrespect him. Sometimes you know there are things you can't naturally tolerate but you tolerate them in relationship and eventually when you get married,you want those things you tolerated in your marriage to stop. That is impossible!
I know you can't marry someone that is 80 percent a version of you. But you must know what you can cope with

Why do people get married with someone they saw "red flags" ?

kingyakos:

If the malice between ur man and his dad has been there before he met you and he's not ready to open up to you, then try not to get into it but do your duty as a woman by PRAYING, Prayer works
If you know in your heart that you can't stay without him then he's your husband.

God no send anyone carry burden wey him no send dem. The gal is, again, obviously not at peace with this particular flaw in her husband and she is not his mother that she would marry him with the intention of fixing him..

Since she is not at peace with it, the sensible thing is for her to leave him alone and go find herself a man that best fits her specs.

pashiano:
It's simple, everybody has a red flag....are you gonna be rejecting everybody on the account of redflag

Some folks actually think it is possible to find a person without flaws/redflags.

The single reason is WHEN THE TWO HAVE SLEPT TOGETHER. They see marriage as compensation

Orgasm is nobody’s mate

Francisanointed:
Pardon my grammatical errors
A lot of people who regretted getting married to their spouse can attest to the fact that they saw the "red flags" but they insist on continuing the relationship and getting married.
Why do people do this ? Married men/women, single ladies/guys,what make/made you to think of marriage even after the red flags
A girl continues a relationship or marry a guy that beats her often,cheats on her unrepentantly,abuse her and disrespects her.
A guy continues a relationship where he sees the girl cheats,lies and disrespect him. Sometimes you know there are things you can't naturally tolerate but you tolerate them in relationship and eventually when you get married,you want those things you tolerated in your marriage to stop. That is impossible!
I know you can't marry someone that is 80 percent a version of you. But you must know what you can cope with

Why do people get married with someone they saw "red flags" ?

My brother na part of our Nigerian mentality, we always do the wrong things and PRAY for the best results!

Kobojunkie:
God no send anyone carry burden wey him no send dem. The gal is, again, obviously not at peace with this particular flaw in her husband and she is not his mother that she would marry him with the intention of fixing him..

Since she is not at peace with it, the sensible thing is for her to leave him alone and go find herself a man that best fits her specs.

Where will she find a man that best fits her in a world where men will always be boys

kingyakos:

Where will she find a man that best fits her in a world where men will always be boys

Abeg don't! Not all men out there are boys! And the world does not begin and end with Nigerians.

Lack of options
Blinded by love
The inability to think you can do better or improve yourself to get someone better.
Moral reason - some people just don’t like changing sexual partners

Francisanointed:
Pardon my grammatical errors
A lot of people who regretted getting married to their spouse can attest to the fact that they saw the "red flags" but they insist on continuing the relationship and getting married.
Why do people do this ? Married men/women, single ladies/guys,what make/made you to think of marriage even after the red flags
A girl continues a relationship or marry a guy that beats her often,cheats on her unrepentantly,abuse her and disrespects her.
A guy continues a relationship where he sees the girl cheats,lies and disrespect him. Sometimes you know there are things you can't naturally tolerate but you tolerate them in relationship and eventually when you get married,you want those things you tolerated in your marriage to stop. That is impossible!
I know you can't marry someone that is 80 percent a version of you. But you must know what you can cope with

Why do people get married with someone they saw "red flags" ?

It is psychological.

How do people get so stuck up in such a relationship?

The bully gains total control over the victim using other subtle abusive means. In fact, physical abuse is the most ineffective method of gaining control over the victim.

The most effective method is emotional abuse. The bully constantly uses verbal abuse to reduce the self esteem of the victim till the victim feels useless without the bully.

The bully may constantly body-shame the victim, and make the victim feel like they can only be desired by the bully. In fact, they begin to perceive their appearance based on how the bully has described it.

Emotional abuse becomes even more effective when the bully combines it with financial abuse. The bully uses emotional abuse to make the victim question their financial knowledge, and makes the victim surrender total financial decisions to the bully even if the victim is the owner of the money. With financial decision totally in the hands of the bully, the victim becomes more stuck with them.

And finally, there is psychological abuse which the bully will eventually combine with emotional and financial abuse to make the victim totally dependent on them. Since they have gained control over the victim's emotion, they will now use the threat of leaving the relationship whenever the victim shows a sign of regaining some control over their situation. They may say to the victim, "If you leave me, no one will be able to even look at you. No one will be as good as I am. Yes, I am not perfect, but I am the best you will ever find out there. See youe big stomach, who will want to marry you? Men want women with nice figures and trim bellies. Remember you also have poor financial decision making skills. Men don't like such women."

This is why emotional abuse is regarded as the most dangerous form of domestic violence. It messes you up both physically and psychologically, and makes you stuck to your abusive partner with absolute no way out. It will even get to a stage where the victim starts blaming themselves for the abusive action of their spouse.

The woman victim will start blaming herself for her husband slapping her. She may say, "It is because I got him angry. I shouldn't have served his food late. I shouldn't have interrupted him."

The man victim will start blaming himself for his wife calling him names, and nagging him all day. He may say, "It is my fault that she is so angry. I shouldn't have forgotten to take out the trash."

ORIAYO70:



This write up was nothing but the truth, Yoruba has an adage Eefin niwa

Which literally mean attitude is smoke, it means no matter how u try to cover ur attitude definitely some will still be in manifest . .

Imagine a guy nagging, calling his gf series of fowl language, yet the mumuric still claim she loves him, the red flags r always there for us to see

Only if we shun it n later pay for it.

Some even go as far as hitting the lady during courtship and yet, she assumed he's not going to beat her if they marry each other, after marriage, she'll be shocked and start saying, "I never see it coming"

Kobojunkie:
Abeg don't! Not all men out there are boys! And the world does not begin and end with Nigerians.

U dey even reason Nigeria wen u dey yarn...
All round the world, men will always be boys

Francisanointed:
Pardon my grammatical errors
A lot of people who regretted getting married to their spouse can attest to the fact that they saw the "red flags" but they insist on continuing the relationship and getting married.
Why do people do this ? Married men/women, single ladies/guys,what make/made you to think of marriage even after the red flags
A girl continues a relationship or marry a guy that beats her often,cheats on her unrepentantly,abuse her and disrespects her.
A guy continues a relationship where he sees the girl cheats,lies and disrespect him. Sometimes you know there are things you can't naturally tolerate but you tolerate them in relationship and eventually when you get married,you want those things you tolerated in your marriage to stop. That is impossible!
I know you can't marry someone that is 80 percent a version of you. But you must know what you can cope with

Why do people get married with someone they saw "red flags" ?

Out of lost of the flesh
Most people see marriage as an hospital that cures redflag.
The problem with the wrong marriage is that God hates Divorce for different reasons
Divorce can damage a child psychologically for life.
Its that bad.
You can avoid Divorce when you marry a woman who wants you for who you are.
Not the woman that is lost over your wealth.
Seek Christ today

kingyakos:

U dey even reason Nigeria wen u dey yarn...
All round the world, men will always be boys

I disagree!

GOSPELTRUTH31:

Out of lost of the flesh
Most people see marriage as an hospital that cures redflag.
The problem with the wrong marriage is that God hates Divorce for different reasons
Divorce can damage a child psychologically for life.
Its that bad.
You can avoid Divorce when you marry a woman who wants you for who you are.
Not the woman that is lost over your wealth.
Seek Christ today

Divorce can actually also save a child from psychological damage and help him/her heal from damage incurred in an unhealthy family situation.

God hates Divorce but He never said the reason He does so is for the sake of the child, so don't twist God's Truth here abeg. Also, God's Law against Divorce applies to those who belong in the Kingdom of God - who trust and obey His commandments, something a majority of you who throw God's name around in these things reject with all your hearts.

The same God who hates Divorce however said it is OK to chose it in case of fornication, so let's be real here. Choosing a woman who accepts you this while you hold on to the wickedness of your hearts does not make you or your marriage of God but of your desires - Luke 20 vs 34 - 36

Kobojunkie:
I disagree!

Men like pastor Jimmy Swaggart in the US who became a boy twice in a prostitute joint

People make decisions based on emotions without asking questions such as
1. What quality does he/she bring into my home.
2. Is this the type of life I want my children to emulate from.
3. Will she or he bring peace in my turbulent situations or upgrade my problems to disaster.

When you see the flag stop and don't go ahead, it is a red flag because you don't have what it takes to handle it.
If you are an evangelical and marry a Catholic, but as a man you want your home to be evangelical, then you must take leadership.

For instance you marry a woman with SSCE and want her to become a graduate not knowing that you also have to prepare to be her home tutor.

In marriage weaknesses and problems are not delegated, weaknesses and problems are adopted. So is strength and positive attributes.

People must understand the weaknesses they face in their marriage and must accept responsibility for whatever it takes to get it done.

kingyakos:

Men like pastor Jimmy Swaggart in the US who became a boy twice in a prostitute joint

What has Jimmy swaggart to do with this here conversation?

Everyone is just being selfish, they all are after something to they think it's worth risking for.

Ahmed0336:
Love is Blind

. Blinded by lust and foolish emotions rather.

benuejosh:
marriage is an eye opener.

I swear

It rains everywhere get a good umbrella

Jennyclay:
I created a thread early January this year seeking for an advice about how my boyfriend is keeping malice with his father for over 3 years, even till today without opening up to me about what actually happened. Mind you he's a great guy with good qualities. But I saw that "malice" as a big red flag. But most nairalanders were saying Men are scares, you better continue with the relationship.

What if we had little misunderstanding in marriage will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years? If he can't forgive his father despite I've tried severally to talk to him politely, will he even forgive me? That was a very big red flag for me. I don't want to feel lonely in marriage.

If you're in a potential relationship and he/she is displaying some unwanted characters and you're seeing the signal clearly that it's a red flag but you're hoping he/she is gonna change, hmmm.. Honestly it's not easy to change a full grown man/woman. Don't give yourself false hope he/she will change.

Being in a Relationship is not all about Intercourse But interview. What do you do during an interview? You have a chance to communicate and study each other personality and character, it would be so easy to detect red flags. Don't be carried away by sex, money and gifts.

Wizywiz:
My brother na so me I see my own red flags oo.. family warn me I no hear...papa warn me I no hear...brothers and sisters warn me I know hear...Las Las we Don go out seperate ways ooo...make person no die for nothing... atleast am a happy man now...four years wasted..God is good all the time...now I don wash eye with Klin and hypo join..

Hi bro..
Can u share me some of the experience?
What happened?
What did ur family see that made them against d union from d outset?
And why were u bent on proceeding against all odds?
What later happened during the marriage....cheating?
Are there children involved already?

Pity