seyz91:
You said it all

Wizywiz:
My brother na so me I see my own red flags oo.. family warn me I no hear...papa warn me I no hear...brothers and sisters warn me I know hear...Las Las we Don go out seperate ways ooo...make person no die for nothing... atleast am a happy man now...four years wasted..God is good all the time...now I don wash eye with Klin and hypo join..

Jennyclay:
I created a thread early January this year seeking for an advice about how my boyfriend is keeping malice with his father for over 3 years, even till today without opening up to me about what actually happened. Mind you he's a great guy with good qualities. But I saw that "malice" as a big red flag. But most nairalanders were saying Men are scares, you better continue with the relationship.

What if we had little misunderstanding in marriage will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years? If he can't forgive his father despite I've tried severally to talk to him politely, will he even forgive me? That was a very big red flag for me. I don't want to feel lonely in marriage.

If you're in a potential relationship and he/she is displaying some unwanted characters and you're seeing the signal clearly that it's a red flag but you're hoping he/she is gonna change, hmmm.. Honestly it's not easy to change a full grown man/woman. Don't give yourself false hope he/she will change.

Being in a Relationship is not all about Intercourse But interview. What do you do during an interview? You have a chance to communicate and study each other personality and character, it would be so easy to detect red flags. Don't be carried away by sex, money and gifts.

Jennyclay:
I created a thread early January this year seeking for an advice about how my boyfriend is keeping malice with his father for over 3 years, even till today without opening up to me about what actually happened. Mind you he's a great guy with good qualities. But I saw that "malice" as a big red flag. But most nairalanders were saying Men are scares, you better continue with the relationship.

What if we had little misunderstanding in marriage will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years? If he can't forgive his father despite I've tried severally to talk to him politely, will he even forgive me? That was a very big red flag for me. I don't want to feel lonely in marriage.

If you're in a potential relationship and he/she is displaying some unwanted characters and you're seeing the signal clearly that it's a red flag but you're hoping he/she is gonna change, hmmm.. Honestly it's not easy to change a full grown man/woman. Don't give yourself false hope he/she will change.

Being in a Relationship is not all about Intercourse But interview. What do you do during an interview? You have a chance to communicate and study each other personality and character, it would be so easy to detect red flags. Don't be carried away by sex, money and gifts.

Francisanointed:
Pardon my grammatical errors
A lot of people who regretted getting married to their spouse can attest to the fact that they saw the "red flags" but they insist on continuing the relationship and getting married.
Why do people do this ? Married men/women, single ladies/guys,what make/made you to think of marriage even after the red flags
A girl continues a relationship or marry a guy that beats her often,cheats on her unrepentantly,abuse her and disrespects her.
A guy continues a relationship where he sees the girl cheats,lies and disrespect him. Sometimes you know there are things you can't naturally tolerate but you tolerate them in relationship and eventually when you get married,you want those things you tolerated in your marriage to stop. That is impossible!
I know you can't marry someone that is 80 percent a version of you. But you must know what you can cope with

Why do people get married with someone they saw "red flags" ?

Jennyclay:
I created a thread early January this year seeking for an advice about how my boyfriend is keeping malice with his father for over 3 years, even till today without opening up to me about what actually happened. Mind you he's a great guy with good qualities. But I saw that "malice" as a big red flag. But most nairalanders were saying Men are scares, you better continue with the relationship.

What if we had little misunderstanding in marriage will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years? If he can't forgive his father despite I've tried severally to talk to him politely, will he even forgive me? That was a very big red flag for me. I don't want to feel lonely in marriage.

If you're in a potential relationship and he/she is displaying some unwanted characters and you're seeing the signal clearly that it's a red flag but you're hoping he/she is gonna change, hmmm.. Honestly it's not easy to change a full grown man/woman. Don't give yourself false hope he/she will change.

Being in a Relationship is not all about Intercourse But interview. What do you do during an interview? You have a chance to communicate and study each other personality and character, it would be so easy to detect red flags. Don't be carried away by sex, money and gifts.

Francisanointed:
Pardon my grammatical errors
A lot of people who regretted getting married to their spouse can attest to the fact that they saw the "red flags" but they insist on continuing the relationship and getting married.
Why do people do this ? Married men/women, single ladies/guys,what make/made you to think of marriage even after the red flags
A girl continues a relationship or marry a guy that beats her often,cheats on her unrepentantly,abuse her and disrespects her.
A guy continues a relationship where he sees the girl cheats,lies and disrespect him. Sometimes you know there are things you can't naturally tolerate but you tolerate them in relationship and eventually when you get married,you want those things you tolerated in your marriage to stop. That is impossible!
I know you can't marry someone that is 80 percent a version of you. But you must know what you can cope with

Why do people get married with someone they saw "red flags" ?

Francisanointed:
Pardon my grammatical errors
A lot of people who regretted getting married to their spouse can attest to the fact that they saw the "red flags" but they insist on continuing the relationship and getting married.
Why do people do this ? Married men/women, single ladies/guys,what make/made you to think of marriage even after the red flags
A girl continues a relationship or marry a guy that beats her often,cheats on her unrepentantly,abuse her and disrespects her.
A guy continues a relationship where he sees the girl cheats,lies and disrespect him. Sometimes you know there are things you can't naturally tolerate but you tolerate them in relationship and eventually when you get married,you want those things you tolerated in your marriage to stop. That is impossible!
I know you can't marry someone that is 80 percent a version of you. But you must know what you can cope with

Why do people get married with someone they saw "red flags" ?

Kobojunkie:
1. There are millions of people out there in what I would consider solid relationships who struggle with some of those issues on your list there due to mental illness but are married to partner's who understand their shortcomings/redflags and willingly choose to work with them even through it all.

Suggesting your list an absolute one is to insist all of those with flaws that cannot be easily wisked away unworthy of happiness in relationship, when the triyh is far from that.

2. It's ok you were able to do that in your case. I personally would be wary of anyone who claims to have no flaws/redflags, this because I am sure it is near impossible for a human to exist without them.

And do understand these many of these things happen to us depending on where in life we find ourselves. So, yeah, anyone who seems to clean, I would definitely be even more wary of. .

kaymart:

U r truly intelligent....and Ur writing style is well explanatory.

bepositive11:
People in healthy relationships have no red flags. We all have flaws, but people who are capable of having healthy relationships have no red flags

People who have red flags get attracted to people who have red flags. That's why they end up in unhealthy relationships

People who don't have red flags can't stand people who have red flags, because the toxicity feels uncomfortable

I promise you, if you have red flags, you can never have a healthy relationship. If you are working on those red flags, you can grow with your partner and eventually get to a point where the relationship becomes healthy. But if you don't work on the red flags, you can never have a healthy relationship

You need to study why those red flags lead to toxic relationships and marriages to understand why I'm saying what I'm saying

You may also notice that I used terms like "extreme jealousy", because a little jealousy is ok but it becomes toxic when it's extreme

Kobojunkie:
I am afraid much of your premise is wrong.

There are no healthy flawless/redflagless relationships out there. Every relationship has them... they are like risks, they are everywhere we look or turn. Instead what you call healthy relationships are relationships where theses risks are either properly managed or planned for.

bepositive11:
1. I've studied this topic extensively so I know what I'm talking about.

2. Keep dismissing what I'm saying. You may eventually understand what I'm saying someday when you get married

Kobojunkie:
1. And you think I haven't lived this topic enough to know where I stand in these things?

2. That you think this is about dismissing you and uour assumed knowledge of these things means you don't know where theory ends, do you?

When I get married? ROFLMAO

bepositive11:
You're toxic men. I'm not conversing with you anymore. Even others on this forum have realised it

Kobojunkie:
ROFLMAO