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Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by kingyakos: 10:25am On Mar 14, 2022
Go and tell that to your village chief : grin
Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Daroldigits: 10:26am On Mar 14, 2022
You're a slowpoke......big one
bewov:
Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" shocked Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here
Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by ayenale1(m): 10:27am On Mar 14, 2022
Marry her o she will change in marriage...by the time u stay 12yrs with her not knowing that ur 2kids are not yours, ur brain will be too early/late to open...

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Benesis: 10:27am On Mar 14, 2022
bewov:
Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" shocked Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here



Its not about equality, her love language is act of service.
Do it for her and see how much her love will grow, n she will find you inseperable
Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Norse36: 10:27am On Mar 14, 2022
You're the problem not her ...

It's not bad that you took out time to create a better future for yourself within 2yrs

Two yrs is a big time bruh, before that girl would willingly open up her legs for a guy to disvirgin her, that simply tells you how much of life she's experienced whilst you still think she's the girl you used to know .

If all you've said about her is true then I'm not surprised bc I'll never forgive my woman for cheating in the first place bc that's a direct bullet and I won't cheat on my woman also .

She's far from a wife material, you're still judging her by 2yrs ago but she's already in the future while you're still seeing her from the past .

1.She told you boldly she won't stop chatting with guys

2. She doesn't care about how you're gonna react

3. She watches you cook without her conscience Judging her

4. She's never willing to change for any reason just bc she's stubborn as u said

5. She doesn't compliment you


E be like say Ogun wan kii ur papa abi undecided God go dey show una signs but una go dey ignore am

For ur mind she go change later when u don marry am abi? grin u mumu pass Maguire



Modified: Na that girl go Kee u



Lights up my kpoli in peace

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by realoscar84(m): 10:28am On Mar 14, 2022
I miss this dude wallahi. Welcome back man. Reading that op's nonsense vex me no be small. Contradicted himself all through. You said she is ur kind of girl, why all this complaints?



NwaAmaikpe:
shocked




I think you should marry her.

Why would you let her being a cheat get in the way of what you share?

I can not pay 20k monthly subscription on kpekus since March 2021 till date and let it go down the drain just because I know the woman is no good to my future.

It doesn't matter if she cheats on you, talks back at you, demands equality or isn't homely, what matters is love.
As long as you love her, the least you can do for a lady who stood by you when you had nothing is to stand by her and be supportive of all her dreams.

As she's gone to church, surprise her.
Watch some YouTube videos on how to cook the perfect Sunday stew or read up some of Pocohantas 's cooking topics so you can serve her the best possible meal with an apology letter for being irresponsible enough not to warm the chicken this morning.

That's how to pamper a woman.

If she wants to go hang out with other men, just beg her not to sleep over with them. If she insists she wants to sleep over with them, beg her not to have sex with them. If she insists she wants to have sex with them, then beg her to tell them not to cum inside her.

But if they do and she brings back a bastard baby home, allow the Christian in you love her and the baby just like Christ has loved the church.

If you really love a woman, you shouldn't be scared of anything. Just be reassured that no matter how many preeks she fvcks outside, she'd be back to you.
All you need is love.

My Bible tells me in 1st John 4:18 that "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear,"

Work on yourself, throw away your insecurities, spend more time in the kitchen, learn to treat that woman like a queen and don't stop loving her for the peril she is.

You have 5months to prepare a mind-blowing public proposal and 8months to happily walk into your unhappy future, now is the time to hire the best event planners so you create a lasting impression.

The good part is that if you marry her, you won't need to be paying that 20k monthly subscription. You can then channel it to buying Valium 5 for the sleepless nights she's going to torment you with.

Over to Lalasticl.ala and the other elders.
Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by KazikageSama: 10:28am On Mar 14, 2022
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked




I think you should marry her.

Why would you let her being a cheat get in the way of what you share?

I can not pay 20k monthly subscription on kpekus since March 2021 till date and let it go down the drain just because I know the woman is no good to my future.

It doesn't matter if she cheats on you, talks back at you, demands equality or isn't homely, what matters is love.
As long as you love her, the least you can do for a lady who stood by you when you had nothing is to stand by her and be supportive of all her dreams.

As she's gone to church, surprise her.
Watch some YouTube videos on how to cook the perfect Sunday stew or read up some of Pocohantas 's cooking topics so you can serve her the best possible meal with an apology letter for being irresponsible enough not to warm the chicken this morning.

That's how to pamper a woman.

If she wants to go hang out with other men, just beg her not to sleep over with them. If she insists she wants to sleep over with them, beg her not to have sex with them. If she insists she wants to have sex with them, then beg her to tell them not to cum inside her.

But if they do and she brings back a bastard baby home, allow the Christian in you love her and the baby just like Christ has loved the church.

If you really love a woman, you shouldn't be scared of anything. Just be reassured that no matter how many preeks she fvcks outside, she'd be back to you.
All you need is love.

My Bible tells me in 1st John 4:18 that "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear,"

Work on yourself, throw away your insecurities, spend more time in the kitchen, learn to treat that woman like a queen and don't stop loving her for the peril she is.

You have 5months to prepare a mind-blowing public proposal and 8months to happily walk into your unhappy future, now is the time to hire the best event planners so you create a lasting impression.

The good part is that if you marry her, you won't need to be paying that 20k monthly subscription. You can then channel it to buying Valium 5 for the sleepless nights she's going to torment you with.

Over to Lalasticl.ala and the other elders.

HERE IS THE KING OF SARCASM.

RESPECT SIR

5 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Focusmind: 10:28am On Mar 14, 2022
Small children everywhere!!!

You are too introverted. Most of your type allow other guys to lay their women while they keep financing their expenses. During our youthful and school days, we used to call them " car washers". You keep washing car while the driver will keep riding the car. Women don't like to keep a "reverend father" as boy friend. You have to man up and take charge.

Lastly, please, first focus on your hustle. I don't like seeing struggling young men focusing on women matters. Just face your hustle and watch how ladies will be flocking to you when you succeed. You will be emotionally traumatized and chances of loosing focus is there if you keep thinking of a lady. As body no be fire wood, if you see chance chop, chop and move on. No time to keep whining over a lady. That was how I operated till I was ready to commit.

You have your choices to make.

3 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by tollyboy5(m): 10:28am On Mar 14, 2022
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked




I think you should marry her.
she's going to torment you with.

Over to Lalasticl.ala and the other elders.
Seconded

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by goodmouth: 10:28am On Mar 14, 2022
Can i have her pincture and phone number shocked
Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Rawhumper(m): 10:29am On Mar 14, 2022
Are you insane? Sorry to say it bro you have
seen the red flags and you basking on the
past.

Don't you know that people can change from
bad to good or good to bad so in her case,she is no longer the person she used to be so run
for your dear life.

Forget about the money you spent,you can
try and wait she does something u use it to
end the relationship then if anyone wants to
marry her,you ask for the money you spent on her.

Never you marry that girl.....








uote author=bewov post=110994495]Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" shocked Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here[/quote]

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by marsup: 10:29am On Mar 14, 2022
All these negative signs, and you are still thinking of marriage? You deserve anything you get from it.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by daddio(m): 10:30am On Mar 14, 2022
bewov:
Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" shocked Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here



WITH ALL THE BAD SIGNS ABOVE!?
WHAT WOULD YOU ADVICE EITHER YOUR SIBLING OR A FRIEND WITH SIMILAR ISSUE?

YOU DON'T WANT ALL YOU'D SPEND ON HER TO GO "JUST LIKE THAT"

IT'S A MISSION THAT'S GONNA BE FILLED WITH REGRETS.

STOP PRAYING FOR HER TO CHANGE, SHE AIN'T GONNA CHANGE.

(IF I MAY ASK BRO, D'U KNOW WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN HER MOM AND DAD?)

2 Likes 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Suspects: 10:30am On Mar 14, 2022
wisdomkid:


You hoodlum grin grin grin grin I finished reading it. It is interesting and sadly, OP isn't aware he's jazzed, or pu$$ymized to the extend of this. He is dating a child. Any record or meter that shows she slept with just one man? abeg.
then you are a noise maker like op...you sabi make noiseee!

1 Like

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Cutehector(m): 10:30am On Mar 14, 2022
cheesy
Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by sunkoye: 10:30am On Mar 14, 2022
This guy will comeback less than a year into marriage to start bordering nairalanders on his marital woes...

Where is your mom?

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by DarlingtonC: 10:32am On Mar 14, 2022
bewov:
Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" shocked Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here
Are you plain silly or something?

Do you really need someone to tell you what to do here?

Use you brain �

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by do4luv14(m): 10:32am On Mar 14, 2022
bewov:
Please guys, I have something bothering me ,

Please guys, I'm very confused here



Hmmm just one thing, to best way to destroy an innocent virgin girl is to Enroll her in hairstylists training, those places are another haven of oloshos,

let me ask you, all those attitude she had been displaying, are they new, or it was after school, if you truly love her, you should know what to do,

and to know if she is still in love with you, plus, stop that monthly feeding bottle, for 4months, then her reaction will surprise you

My 2 cent

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by TheAuthodox(m): 10:32am On Mar 14, 2022
Bossman abeg no go marry feminist put for house oooo....you wam use your own hand put fire ontop of your roof abi?....I dislike Feminists and Mysoginist..they don't have peace of mind and they don't enjoy life.... oga desist from such a Lady ooo....

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Seyong10(m): 10:33am On Mar 14, 2022
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked




I think you should marry her.

Why would you let her being a cheat get in the way of what you share?

I can not pay 20k monthly subscription on kpekus since March 2021 till date and let it go down the drain just because I know the woman is no good to my future.

It doesn't matter if she cheats on you, talks back at you, demands equality or isn't homely, what matters is love.
As long as you love her, the least you can do for a lady who stood by you when you had nothing is to stand by her and be supportive of all her dreams.

As she's gone to church, surprise her.
Watch some YouTube videos on how to cook the perfect Sunday stew or read up some of Pocohantas 's cooking topics so you can serve her the best possible meal with an apology letter for being irresponsible enough not to warm the chicken this morning.

That's how to pamper a woman.

If she wants to go hang out with other men, just beg her not to sleep over with them. If she insists she wants to sleep over with them, beg her not to have sex with them. If she insists she wants to have sex with them, then beg her to tell them not to cum inside her.

But if they do and she brings back a bastard baby home, allow the Christian in you love her and the baby just like Christ has loved the church.

If you really love a woman, you shouldn't be scared of anything. Just be reassured that no matter how many preeks she fvcks outside, she'd be back to you.
All you need is love.

My Bible tells me in 1st John 4:18 that "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear,"

Work on yourself, throw away your insecurities, spend more time in the kitchen, learn to treat that woman like a queen and don't stop loving her for the peril she is.

You have 5months to prepare a mind-blowing public proposal and 8months to happily walk into your unhappy future, now is the time to hire the best event planners so you create a lasting impression.

The good part is that if you marry her, you won't need to be paying that 20k monthly subscription. You can then channel it to buying Valium 5 for the sleepless nights she's going to torment you with.

Over to Lalasticl.ala and the other elders.
Thank you very much for this brother

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Holluwatarhyor(m): 10:33am On Mar 14, 2022
bewov:
Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" shocked Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here
she will kill you with hypertension,that's if u don't value your life.....In case you want to build your own house or buy a land,u can contact me,I'm a civil engineer

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Joseph08(m): 10:33am On Mar 14, 2022
Oga I don't have time to read that long novel grin

Only the headline is enough to tell you my mind.

Marry her at your own peril.

Another thing I want you to know is after you marry her and come back to disturb me on nairaland with her continue cheating in marriage, let me reserve my comments on what I will tell you then, because you won't like it at all to hear it now.

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Rawhumper(m): 10:34am On Mar 14, 2022
Twoclans is talking our Nigerian half caste.






quote author=Twoclans post=110996880]Kwin Poco, let me do amebo this sunday afternoon . grin grin nwAmikpe is advicing bewov to use your cooking recipes on nairaland . grin grin grin grin[/quote]
Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Milly44(f): 10:34am On Mar 14, 2022
This is one of the reason I suggest a national punishment for simps. After all this you littered here, you still had the gods to ask if you can go ahead to marry her?! Go ahead and marry the general pussy that thinks she has arrived

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by famora(m): 10:34am On Mar 14, 2022
NwaAmaikpe:
shocked


Maaaaaaadddd ooooo

I think you should marry her.

Why would you let her being a cheat get in the way of what you share?

I can not pay 20k monthly subscription on kpekus since March 2021 till date and let it go down the drain just because I know the woman is no good to my future.

It doesn't matter if she cheats on you, talks back at you, demands equality or isn't homely, what matters is love.
As long as you love her, the least you can do for a lady who stood by you when you had nothing is to stand by her and be supportive of all her dreams.

As she's gone to church, surprise her.
Watch some YouTube videos on how to cook the perfect Sunday stew or read up some of Pocohantas 's cooking topics so you can serve her the best possible meal with an apology letter for being irresponsible enough not to warm the chicken this morning.

That's how to pamper a woman.

If she wants to go hang out with other men, just beg her not to sleep over with them. If she insists she wants to sleep over with them, beg her not to have sex with them. If she insists she wants to have sex with them, then beg her to tell them not to cum inside her.

But if they do and she brings back a bastard baby home, allow the Christian in you love her and the baby just like Christ has loved the church.

If you really love a woman, you shouldn't be scared of anything. Just be reassured that no matter how many preeks she fvcks outside, she'd be back to you.
All you need is love.

My Bible tells me in 1st John 4:18 that "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear,"

Work on yourself, throw away your insecurities, spend more time in the kitchen, learn to treat that woman like a queen and don't stop loving her for the peril she is.

You have 5months to prepare a mind-blowing public proposal and 8months to happily walk into your unhappy future, now is the time to hire the best event planners so you create a lasting impression.

The good part is that if you marry her, you won't need to be paying that 20k monthly subscription. You can then channel it to buying Valium 5 for the sleepless nights she's going to torment you with.

Over to Lalasticl.ala and the other elders.
Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Norse36: 10:35am On Mar 14, 2022
Seyong10:

Thank you very much for this brother

Ogun kii u
Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Prechgold1180(m): 10:35am On Mar 14, 2022
Suspects:
Op is a noise maker, anybody that read all that note up there is also a noise maker... I move...
Bro you guys need mature counseling
Nairaland is not a good place to bring relationship matters

This place is filled with
Unfortunate people. People that are confused
They easily dish out advice without minding the implications

Nur follow Nairaland members mouth o bro u go regret

To me I see nothing wrong in your girl
Just lil talk can help u both

If u decide to dump her now
Do you know the next devil you might get to marry

Baba carry ur cross and pray to God to give you strength to vision your future
Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Naudeyrushme(m): 10:35am On Mar 14, 2022
Op for wasting my time to read this rubbish this morning.....



Nah momday make i no curse you

1 Like 1 Share

Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by charlypoker(m): 10:35am On Mar 14, 2022
bewov:
Please guys, I have something bothering me so much, I will really appreciate it if I can get a matured response.

These might be long, but please bare with me

There is this girl have been dating since March 2021. Although, we met in University days and we have been dating since 2017, but because I was graduating and she has 1 more year to spend in the school, I left her and travelled to Lagos to work, because I got a job in a company in Lagos, immediately I graduated. I needed to concentrate on my future so I told her I want to pause the relationship to focus, but I will definitely be back for her, I promised her this. She was a virgin then!

After working in the company for 2years, I also learnt some IT skills online while I was working in the company, and I was earning cool money from it, so I decided to quit the job and focus more on the online business.

My business have been doing well and I have about 2 other virtual assistant helping me out, anyway I was kind of comfortable, so I thought of fulfilling my promise to my girlfriend. I called her one morning, and she was shocked! We chatted a bit and I told her I want us to see urgently, we schedule a date for her to meet me in the hotel, because I was staying in Lekki and he stays around Surulere, I wanted an hotel close to her house, so she can return early.

We met at the hotel and I can see she missed me so much, around 3pm I told her I'm back and I want us to continue dating and I'm ready to settle down, she agreed and we have been dating, all this happened around March 2021. Around April, I travelled out for about 2months, but I was very communicating with her, and when I got back around June, I discovered she had sex with another guy in May. Now, I wouldn't say she did it because of money, because I pay her 20k every month for upkeep, sometimes I just pay her 30k! She is not a wayward girl though, and she is not a type that sleeps around with guys back then in school, but once i came back into her life, I see a different girl entirely, when I came back she wasn't a virgin anymore, it's not my problem anyway, because the truth is I never forgot her during all those years I left her behind.

I didn't tell her I knew she cheated on me, but all I do tell her was that she did something bad to me and I want her to open up to me about it, but my girl kept on denying it, she sworn with her life, that she didn't cheat on me, that night I was shocked. Then, I didn't talk about it again till September, I gave her those months to regret her actions and confess to me, but she never did, also I didn't stop helping her financially, I still pay her monthly for upkeep. I know you will be wondering why I give her money, right? This girl was with me and loyal to me when I had nothing, like nothing at all! She was raised by a single mother and she is struggling a lot, after graduating she decided to go for Hair Stylist training, that is where she is currently. So I just give her money monthly just to stay strong.

So around September I decided to tell her she cheated on me, although it was that once, she begged, cried and told me she was drunk and regretted it, she told me she doesn't want to tell me because she knows I will end the relationship, well to be candid I love her so much, so I decided to forgive her, but since that day, trusting her was very very difficult for me. Although, I do watch her and since then I have never seen anything of such from her.

January 2022, her mother stopped her from coming to my place, she wants me to come see her first before she can allow her daughter to come visit me again. So, I went to see her mom last month and I made my intentions known to her, I told her I will want to marry her daughter and she said she is okay with it, if her daughter is okay with me.

This girl is my type of girl but, she has some behaviours that sincerely I don't think I can deal with.

She has this mindset of "A woman should be equal to a man".

She doesn't respect me, she chats with random guys and if they invite her for outing, she goes with them, even if I tell her not to go! When she visits me, she says I must join her in doing the house chores, she will say "It's either you clean the house and I will wash the plates and cook, or she wash the plates and cook, while I clean the house". And sometimes if she wants to cook for me, she will want me to come to the kitchen with her and do some works, maybe Grind pepper with blender or slice onion, if I dont, she gets annoyed, saying will she be the one to be doing all?

She did something that annoyed me this morning, around 6am today I went to the filling station to get petrol, well she knows I eat early always, maybe 6am or 7am, I would have taken breakfast, but she has never dished me food at that time, I always do it myself whenever she is around. When I got back from the filling station, I still met my girlfriend on the bed pressing her phone, I told her I'm hungry and I will want to eat Spaghetti with tomato sauce, and she replied "Baby, please cook it yourself, you said I'm your queen, pamper me na" shocked Really? What does that have to do with you cooking for your fiance?

Well, I was annoyed, I went to the kitchen and prepared the food myself, the truth is when the food was ready, I only dished my own and ate, she said "What about her? Won't she eat?" I didn't answer her!

Aside from this, sincerely sometimes she talks to me rudely, and one thing she and I knows is that she is very very stubborn and not ready to submit to any man. Sincerely, this attitude is making me scared of settling down with her, I want to propose her this year and do the marriage rights but with all this behaviours I'm thinking the marriage will be hell for me.

When she came over yesterday, I prepared food for her before her arrival, and I served her, all she could say was "What is this? The food taste bad! Is this food or poison?" She never gave a good compliments about the meal, yet she finished the food and went for second round.

Last night before we went to bed, I told her to warm the rice and the stew, she said it won't get spoilt that she will do it in the morning, I asked her if she is sure, she said Yes. And I went to the kitchen before preparing my Spaghetti, I saw the rice is already bad and can't be eaten, I showed it to her and she was like "haaa she doesn't know it will spoil"

Also, the chicken I bought yesterday to cook her the meal, I couldn't use all, I left some in the pot, and I forgot to warm it last night, my girl saw it while washing the plates this morning, and she was like "What is this?" I told her chicken and she said "And you didn't warm it" she left it there in the pot like that without doing anything to revive it. Before I went to the kitchen to do it myself!

She only washed the plates, bath and went to church this morning, she didn't arrange the bed, nor sweep the room littered with all we ate last night. I'm sure of the message she is passing to me... "Have washed the plates, you clean the house".

Please guys, I want to propose her around August and settle down with her in November, but this behaviours are the things turning me off.

Will she changed and act normal when we get married, or this will continue? The guys she chat with, which I told her I don't like it, she replied that "She will never and ever leave them". All these types of attitudes and not showing me respect, do you think she will change after we get married or she will continue?

Please guys, I'm very confused here
\\


Guy, you don't need to be told what to do. if the woman you want to settle down with ain't to play by your rules or even respect you, all you need to do is to ditch her. go for another relationship. she is a feminist.............stubbornness is part of their traits. dont marry that girl. else you wil regret it.

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Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Rawhumper(m): 10:36am On Mar 14, 2022
I knew that's what you say but deep down you,you know it a no no for him.

He should quit that hell is about to enter....we
not talkng about virginity here.

That's not a criteria....

Most said he should quit it and I second it,even other guys that may find themselves in such,I believe this will help them too.











Beremx:
Las Las you go still marry the girl. All these your complaints are not valid. That’s something you can work on. No relationship is perfect.

I wonder why you were bothered about her losing her virginity when you’ve lost yours long before you met her. E no make sense at all
Re: I'm Scared Of Marrying Her by Danchibez: 10:36am On Mar 14, 2022
Pls mr. Op, run for ur dear life. The girl in question is not ur soulmate.

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