Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? - Romance - Nairaland
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| Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by ginky: 9:34pm On Jun 30, 2011 |
I have been having this argument with some friends for sometime now. The thing is that I have a close friend who this topic relates to. She likes the guy and so does he. Her concern is that if they should start going out, the relationship would not last because they don't share alot in common. Infact, the day she revealed this to me, she had to think hard before getting out just 2 things they share in common. Personally, I don't think the relationship would work but I dont know how to tell her. Please, I really want your wise replies on this matter and give your reasons for whatever your reply is. |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by Mynd44: 9:50pm On Jun 30, 2011 |
They might actually be pulled together by their differences |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by upendo98(f): 9:59pm On Jun 30, 2011 |
lol I think both of you have already spelled doom 4 this relationship even before giving it a chance. She's scared of what she' thinks might happen' yet she hasn't tried it. I dont know but going out is not like getting engaged or marrying. Its a time to understand the other person well their likes,dislikes etc. Its only by giving it a try that she will be able to make a final conclusion as to whether they are compatible or not. After all they like each other so you say. If I was you I would ask her to try it out but not make any commitments till they are sure they can take it to the next level. She may find him more interesting than she thinks and vice versa. At times too much fear can lock out some good things. Good luck 1 Like |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by BABE3: 10:05pm On Jun 30, 2011 |
I think supplementary relationships last longer than complementary relationships. |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by ginky: 10:28pm On Jun 30, 2011 |
@ Mynd-thanks @ Upendo- That's a good reply. They've been communicating well and getting to know each other and it has been okay so far. She says that the more they get to know each other, the more they realise that they are VERY different and dont share things in common; from their families to character to opinions on issues etc @ BABE- Please, explain better. What do you mean by supplementary and complementary as regards to a relationship? |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by upendo98(f): 11:10pm On Jun 30, 2011 |
Wow then in that case it seems as though, the more they get to know each other the more they drift apart in ideas,likes etc etc. Then theres no need to force things. If they are meant 4 each other then things will iron out. I agree wth babe whn she said supplementary reltnshps work better.( though not all but it removes monotony and boredom).It simply means the other person is adding something different to the relationship to make it whole. You've heard b4 tht like forces repel and unlike forces attract. ie + and+ repel. so when one supplements they bring in something diffrent to make the relationship stronger/exciting/interesting. Think about blending of flavours and the results. They can continue being friends without specialising ,you just never know when those 2 minds may fuse. |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by BABE3: 11:58pm On Jun 30, 2011 |
ginky: Complementary---- the two partners have diff. personalities and interests---so therefore, they fill each others "cracks." Supplementary---- the two partners have similar interests and they have many things in common--they understand each other better. |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by satani22: 12:03am On Jul 01, 2011 |
@poster above my head lool. Are u really in love with OAMj? Is oamj the name of a human being or just a handle? |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by BABE3: 12:04am On Jul 01, 2011 |
OAM4J is a human being---a moderator of the politics section.  |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by satani22: 12:15am On Jul 01, 2011 |
Oh i see. So u are in with the political moderator? Why dnt u fall in love with me? Satani22 |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by upendo98(f): 12:28am On Jul 01, 2011 |
lol babe I explained the other way round. Thank God its nt an exam!  |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by BABE3: 12:34am On Jul 01, 2011 |
satani22: Sorry---levels don change--i don't do ordinary posters anymore. upendo 98: Yup--that would have been a zero. |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by satani22: 12:44am On Jul 01, 2011 |
BABE!:Oh no u ve spoilt my mood. U can Satani22 ordinary poster? Im not happy likewise Satan |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by Nobody: 1:16am On Jul 01, 2011 |
Mynd_44: True. |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by MsPotato(f): 1:30am On Jul 01, 2011 |
The answer is YES! A Relationship Between Two Lovers CAN Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common The reason why Im saying this its because Im in one thats almost completely the opposite. A few examples are:- 1) I love singing and he doesnt love singing. I am in tune and he is tone deaf. I loveeee music and he doesnt really like music 2) He loves wrestling but I dont like wrestling 3) He like cowboy and scary films while I like cartoons and comedy 4) He likes eating with his hands while I like eating with utensils 5) He prefers vacuuming the floor while I prefer sweeping and mopping the floor 6) He prefer using fan to sleep while I prefer using Aircond to sleep And so on so forth. But we are still together for 4 years. 1 Like |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by LongOne1(m): 10:35am On Jul 01, 2011 |
satani22: C’mon man, I don’t support you religious views, but don’t give up so easily, the fun is in the chase. She’s given you the answer, as she thinks supplementary relationships lasts longer, so all you have to do is to get your posts up. This will mean you will both be super posters (supplementary relationship), with similar interests (Nairaland) and many things in common (different Nairaland topics), also understanding each other (similar views or Nairaland replies). So you see, you would have successfully tailored your CV (your self) to the job description (her relationship views), lol 1 Like |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by ronkebp(f): 3:13pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
Ms. Potato: I agree with you, the relationship can last, despite the differences, |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by slayer01: 3:15pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
i think it can, depending on the 2 individuals an the degree of 'love' |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by Nobody: 3:36pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
wow, am in this kind of prob, but i gave it up two days agoc   but i just learn sumthing new well am not willing to compromise to make the call, i will just watch as other people post and learn  |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by emmatok(m): 3:44pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
Two people are not the-same, not even twins. The-same thing applies in a relationship, interest differs from one another. But lovers need to reduce(not compromise) some of their standards in other to accommodate each other. But their should be a limit to it. |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by kandiikane(m): 3:47pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
I agree with mrs. potato, depending on the individuals and how much they put in their relationship to make it work. First Relationship nothing in common at all, (he had to smoke weed every single day, has to have a few cans of cider each day, had to go gym morning and evening, lies, cheats, don't stick to his words, forgets he has lied to me about something repeats the same lie with a different explanation,a few loose bolts missing-list goes on) it did not work, was never going to work, no foreseeable future together,nothing, blank. Not that it could not work just that the male counterpart did not do his best to make it work. Current Relationship-Absolutely everything in common(taureans) (His head screwed on tied, Does not smoke, does not drink except for occasions, ambitious, knows what he wants in life like me 'cept for the smoking part, etc etc-list goes not) including stubbornness which has put strains in the relationship quite a few times to the point of breaking up but in the end we try to see each others point of view and try to work together. Point: Relationships work depending on how much both of you want to be in it. Sometimes if you have nothing in common you will find that you will not have much to talk about on the phone or even when together(in the beginning) but just hold on, find something that will catch both of your interests. It will work. |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by dayokanu(m): 3:52pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
Yes I agree Ronkebp is married, I am single and yet it would work between us. Kandikaane is albino, I am dark yet it is working MsPotato is a Yeye fowl, I am Dayokanu yet it is working Upendo likes to talk, I am all round action yet its working. Babe is studying "MELESIN" and I sell spare part yet it is working |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by kandiikane(m): 3:54pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
^^You have a few screws loose |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by dayokanu(m): 4:11pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
kandiikane: You want me to screw you or you want to screw me? |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by kandiikane(m): 4:27pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
None of the above |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by dayokanu(m): 4:29pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
So you dont want to screw me why did you now mention screw? I wont mind a lip job from you sha |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by iice(f): 5:02pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
More difficult if you have not alot in common. If you have to force something that should be easy. I don't mean chatter but flow. Sometimes you don't have to talk or do some activity to have the 'flow' between yourselves. If the said interests are an inherent part of you. One might like something and the other not, but the other does not hate it, just indifferent or not irritated by it. If the person can't stand the thing. . .you will have a problem on your hands. Anyway. . .relationships are hard. You have to work for it. You just have to decide if you want it bad enough or if you're willing to see where it goes. 1 Like |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by Orikinla(m): 6:38pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
Majority of Nigerian couples are strange bedfellows. |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by swiftycool(m): 6:41pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
@Op, it deffinately can work. Its called maturity and tolerance. Researchers actually discoverd contrary to common oppinion that many more arranged/contract marriages of two completely different strangers with only the decision to marry and hav a family as the only common interest rarely end in divorce compared to the "head over heels in love", soulmate (sharing every thing in common) types. ill post the report if i find it, so yr friend could be ok |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by Cuddlemii: 6:42pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
Thats even what makes it more interesting. Opposite attracts. Unlike poles attract. The most important thing is understanding and compromise. They might even get fond of eachother. If they act the same, they would bore themselves out and not learn anything from eachother. |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by Mynd44: 7:24pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
If they have too many things in common, they might get bored but if they have noting in common, they might just be amazing how the world works on the other side |
| Re: Can A Relationship Between Two Lovers Work When They Dont Have Alot In Common? by bamosagie(m): 8:39pm On Jul 01, 2011 |
Two people met, share things in common, get married only to find out that it was their principles that actually got married, they only came along for a ride. next they start thinking divorce. love is a funny subject, you would be surprise to know that 90% of people in love change or learn new habit to accomodate their partners, and they even get to enjoy these changes more. if they like each other they should start from there, all other things will sort themselves out 2 Likes |
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