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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Family / Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us (23958 Views)
UPDATE: I've Been Restless Having A Chat With My Elder Brother / I Have Been Having An Affair With My Elder Brother's Wife – Nigerian Man Reveals / My Rich Brother Does Not Care About Us.... (2) (3) (4)
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Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by seyz91(m): 10:28am On Apr 04, 2022 |
Iyaebe: |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Nobody: 10:37am On Apr 04, 2022 |
johnmba:And when he found the 1 the remaining 99 where nowhere to be found. |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Hotice007: 10:53am On Apr 04, 2022 |
johnmba:Go rest joor.which one is nobody is asking him for money. If your bro was unsuccessful and struggling with life, would your family member care about him or want to be close with him to the extent of creating a thread on nairaland asking what you guys did wrong? Dey there dey deceive yourself 4 Likes |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by vikstandon(m): 11:13am On Apr 04, 2022 |
Cashio: Ok I get you now!! |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Forumobserver12(m): 11:35am On Apr 04, 2022 |
Dailyparrot: There's no way you can love from afar, how can you love someone without caring about the person? If there's love you must communicate time to time and sometimes there's sense of happiness sharing some beautiful moment with your relatives.. |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Caleycashh: 11:44am On Apr 04, 2022 |
Fact still remains when people seek your presence and personality... you have money!!!, cus I can bet my ass if he doesn't have money non of you all will bother about him, what gets me so angry is the hypocrisy and slyness in most people!. No one fuckin cares you exists but once you've made money boom they just choke around you!... pathetic! |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Dailyparrot: 12:27pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
thorpido: Maybe you are right. But what is missing isn't in a negative way. My brothers have left home to learn trade before I was born. I never ever lived with them pass two weeks that they spend at home whenever they come home for any reason. I don't have any memories shared with them. The age difference is pretty much. So, you see that it's not necessarily because we have bad blood within ourselves, it's just that there was never any bond and they are more like uncles to me than brothers. We operate on different spheres of life. |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by EagleNest(m): 12:45pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
Cashio: Bros this your view point is weird. It is an example of entitlement mentality. Elder brothers don't OWE any siblings any shit unless the so called siblings are disabled due to circumstances. For it to work, make sure you build a rapport or trust or good relationship with your elder brother or vice versa, and if he's rich or any other person in the family for that matter, it will naturally cascade to everyone within the family without asking. But if you sit down and do nothing, banking that he MUST do it because he's elder brother, then there lies the wahala. He will not flinch! 1 Like |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by mabea: 12:48pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
YeyeGbami:Honestly we have many foolish people on this forum yet they take themselves as wise 2 Likes |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by YeyeGbami: 12:57pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
mabea: Not just foolish, but bitter people. They want to rub their misfortune on everyone else. So unfortunate 2 Likes |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by mabea: 12:57pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
Amazinggrace71:You people are very myopic. What about a situation where nobody looks up to your brother for any financial need yet they need his input in some other pressing family matters yet he is nowhere to be found? Imagine having a brother though alive but feels like he's dead to the family members. What about loosing one of your parents and still your brother could not show up nor show any form of concern. I could go on and on. Money is important but not everything there is to life. 1 Like |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by SRichard1: 1:13pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
Thank God |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Cashio(m): 1:14pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
EagleNest:This idea of no one owes no one shit is why accountability is lacking in our generation. Baba an elder brother who enjoyed good support from parents owes his younger siblings same support until they also find their feet. To me, it is a must. They train you to assist in training others, not just the elder brothers alone, but ever other member of the household. Imagine training your son in the higher institution and assisting him until he gets a job and can afford to survive on his own. Why won't he also assist to train his younger siblings till they can stand on their own. He mustn't necessarily take up all their responsibilities, but he owes them those little help and support he got from the parents, it is an obligation. 2 Likes |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by thorpido(m): 1:23pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
Dailyparrot:Oh,I understand your situation.There isn't much you can do about it. |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by mabea: 1:25pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
Caleycashh:You are wrong. My immediate younger brother is such that doesn't care about anyone. Not like he's richer than the rest of us and this is heartbreaking. My Mum and my elder bro worry so much about him. |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Amazinggrace71: 1:31pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
mabea:So what if he is nowhere to be found? Is he the first born? Is he the oracle of the family that must be available for all events? What about people with no siblings or parents, did they die? Do you people even know what love is?. If he truly loves his brother, then he wouldn't mind being the one calling and not minding his infrequent calls. Whether you like it or not, there is always that one or two siblings that love to mind their business even from a very tender age, you can spot them which is exactly what he said about his brother being so from a young age. If you chase your brother to the extent of bringing his matter to nairaland, then, there is more to it than meets the eye. If someone is avoiding something, then please don't judge the person until you have walked in his shoes. Nobody will avoid something that is pleasing to him or that gives him comfort. See ehn, just go back and read his previous post about his brother. He dwelt well on the issue of money. If money is not everything, then, why did he give it such an important highlight on his previous post. Wait o! Let us even hear his brothers side of the story, I can never draw conclusion from listening to only one person's narrative!!! 1 Like |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Eastcoastboy(m): 1:32pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
Nectarbaba: Iswear! No love at all. More reason why people are bitter and angry, love is deep, deeper that what we tag it to be, if only these people have truly experienced family love. |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Eastcoastboy(m): 1:42pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
franchasofficia: You reek of deep sound Wisdom, most times I feel people who bear this mentality picked it up from pain, pain of conquering the world all alone without any help or whatsoever from relatives or friends so they feel everyone should do the same. (Recycling pain) I'm still a young lad but I know right. Love is deeper than what most people take it to be. I'm that kind of person that derive joy in seeing my family in a better place and ultimately, being happy and very comfortable. It was so much that whenever I'm like enjoying or like just being comfortable I feel bad that those at home are not enjoying same thing. I pray that God blesses me and put i and my siblings in a better place in life. It will surely come to pass in Jesus name. For thought he has for us are of good and not of evil to bring us to an expected end. God bless y'all. 2 Likes 1 Share |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Eastcoastboy(m): 1:46pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
vikstandon: Igwebuike nwannem! This is how the easterners have been able to rise to wealth by assisting his brothers and even stretching wide to others in his clan and community. We all should remember that "No man is Island ". |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Eastcoastboy(m): 1:46pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
vikstandon: Igwebuike nwannem! This is how the easterners have been able to rise to wealth by assisting his brothers and even stretching wide to others in his clan and community. We all should remember that "No man is an Island ". |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Amazinggrace71: 1:47pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
franchasofficia:That is just one scenario. I have worked in a bank before and during debt recovery, I know alot of people who divert loans that was meant for growing their business into family demands and when Police arrest them or their guarantors, the family will even still be calling them in the police van to bring money for this or for that. During the days that one lady(debtor) spent in police cell, the parents and siblings had to hustle to provide all the things that they were depending on her for and in fact they did very well and fed well. What if she got an infection and died in the cell? Won't her family survive? Leave Linda Ikeji out of this, let everybody face their own life and do what is best for them |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Eastcoastboy(m): 1:48pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
ume1000: That guy is pained, pray for him. |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by EagleNest(m): 1:53pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
Cashio: I get your point considering we grew in Nigeria and are polarised by our way of life and thinking, but the reality (and that's how it is done in modern world) is that it is the responsibility of the parents to train their kids regardless of if it is first or last child or male or female. That responsibility ideally should not be passed to eldest child unless the parent(s) died untimely. When you load up the eldest child with such huge responsibility at early stage of life, it becomes a heavy burden to carry. And trying to find a balance between personal goal and big family expectation become difficult. In fact how do you lift people up when you yourself can barely stand. We should break that cycle of burden bearing, they are not born donkeys. That's why such weird expectations forces an eldest daughter to marry out quick, to minimise number of mouths to feed, and they will even press pressure on her new family. What happened to all her life dreams and ambitions, - all suspended. Next she will start making babies and the cycle will continue. Similar with eldest male child, their's is worst. They are expected to train every one regardless of the number of them. And they grow old too quick carrying the responsibility of parents at very young age. In fact you are expected not to start your own family until you have cleared some of these burden. Please let's stop this. They are not sacrificial lambs or donkeys that carry burden. However, if we are all equally well trained up to certain level, enough to be able to be independent, and it happens that one or two persons are falling behind, yes anyone can render help whether eldest or youngest, to lift that person up. There are too much eyes and expectations on eldest child that doesn't sit well with me. It should stop. |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by NorthSerious: 2:32pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
Cashio:You are really the most annoying, entitled idiooot I've ever had the displeasure of meeting on the internet. You reek of entitlement, it's nauseating. Listen to yourself. Did your older siblings force your parents to give birth to them? Your parents aren't doing them any favors by giving them good education and as such, they are not obligated to give your entitled assss anything. Your siblings owe you nothing. The sooner you realize that, the less miserable and annoying you will be to sane folks. 1 Like |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by mabea: 2:37pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
Amazinggrace71:On the contrary you are the one that should go back to that post because even though he mentioned money but he never said money is the issue. And there's nothing wrong if he supports his family members financially. There's a limit to minding one's business when family is concerned. Did you also see other things he mentioned like not showing up or showing any form of concern when the Mum was hospitalized, not even a phone call? Did you also read the part where he stated that his brother would go on lavishing his money on outsiders and not his immediate family, mind you I'm not even talking about his siblings alone but his own wife and children? What about if problem comes e.g. sickness, and he needs care, who do you think he will run to or will run after him? Is it not the same family he abandoned? You may not need your family until when faced with challenges then you will understand the importance of family. 1 Like |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by mabea: 2:39pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
NorthSerious:If you like don't help your family members the Choice is yours. |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Cashio(m): 2:43pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
NorthSerious:And you are the most senseless, irresponsible bastard I have ever come across on nairaland, whose silly mind does not know how to state his opinion without showing how stupidly disorganized his lineage is. God punish your papa for calling me names..bastard. Are you even from a home? All these animals from broken homes feel and think looking out for others is a crime because no one was there for them. I stated my opinion and I say again...we all owe our younger ones same care and support we got from parents. We all should be there for them in their formative years, just as our parents were also there during our own formative years. That is what family is all about and I am sorry if yours is a broken home where there is no trust and no love and all man is left to himself. |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Cashio(m): 2:48pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
mabea:he is a bastard, raised beside refuse dumps and scrambled through criminality to get the little data he comes online with to throw insults to the father that abandoned him. Such denied folks don't understand what a home is and what family is all about because no one gave them love and affection. |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by ImaIma1(f): 2:57pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
Mariangeles: Seriously o. Thank God for good families. Video calls every single day. Calls to my siblings everyday. We cannot mind our business. We want to know what you ate that day 2 Likes |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by ImaIma1(f): 3:02pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
Calibrator: Your pain is from being a first born and going through the billing process. That is why you can't stop your mind from believing that it must be about the money. Maybe you should remove your personal bias and realize that it's not always about money. Not every sibling is a leech like yours, if yours are. My sibling who is not close to the family that everyone has been trying to bring closer is the one that is doing the least amongst all of us. So it's not like he has money to give us. We just want everyone as a unit thst we should be. 2 Likes |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Cashio(m): 4:01pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
EagleNest:I don't conform with the idea of over burdening elder siblings. My only thought is that those elder siblings who have been trained and who have found their feet owe the younger ones similar support and care as much as they can. It could be in form of taking care of their pocket money while they still in school, it could be opting to pay their rent or hostel fees, it could be giving them accomodation and helping them get a job after school if you can, it could be anything else aside absconding from home and abandoning your family(even the parents that suffered to train you) after so much has been invested in you, probably spending the money on one lady who doesn't know what your parents went through to give you good life. |
Re: Re: About My Elder Brother Who Does Not Care About Us by Mariangeles(f): 4:27pm On Apr 04, 2022 |
ImaIma1: Hehehehehehehehehehehehe A good family is everything. |
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